summer of a homeschooled boy
okay so i watched 'no hard feelings' today and now i can’t stop thinking about a modern moonwater au that goes like this:
remus lives in one of those tiny tourist towns that completely empties during the winter and gets swallowed by rich vacationers every summer + gentrification is a bitch so he is about to lose the house he’s lived in his entire life because he can’t keep up with the property taxes anymore. also, he never had the money/time to go to college, so he works every job he can get his hands on depending on the season: waiter, bartender, mechanic, surf instructor, uber driver, boat rental assistant, even babysitter, you name it; if someone’s hiring, remus has probably worked there.
then comes regulus and sirius... they arrive to spend the summer with their uncle alphard and officially the trip it’s just supposed to be a change of scenery, especially for regulus. unofficially, sirius refused to leave him alone with their parents any longer because ever since sirius left home years ago, regulus has become quieter and quieter, his parents became even more controlling after losing one son, and somewhere along the way regulus stopped knowing how to exist outside of their expectations.
by the time sirius finally got regulus out of grimmauld, he barely left the house, barely spoke to anyone. regulus doesn’t know how to make friends, doesn’t know how to exist around people, constantly feels like he’s saying the wrong thing, he overthinks everything he says, assumes people secretly hate him, and has no idea what someone his age is supposed to be like. he’s basically ballad of a homeschooled girl by olivia rodrigo in human form.
sirius, being sirius ofc, decides that what regulus obviously needs is a boyfriend. regulus, understandably, thinks this is the dumbest idea he’s ever heard, so, obviously he doesn't agree to dating apps, going out, arranged dates, etc.
then sirius meets remus at one of the restaurants where he works and comes up with an even dumber idea: he offers remus enough money to save his house if he’ll pretend to date regulus for the summer; brilliant, right?
and after thinking and rethinking, remus says yes because losing his dignity is significantly less terrifying than losing the only home he’s has left, the house he grew up in and the only memory of his mother.
unlike the movie, remus and regulus are only a year apart in age so the fake dates actually start looking like real dates. remus tries to teach regulus to swim, they watch old movies on remus's porch, drive around with nowhere to be, steal peaches from roadside stalls, sneak into closed beaches at night to drink cheap beer and talking about all the things they usually joke about instead of saying out loud.
remus was always the kinda of guy who sleeping with whoever would have him, especially tourists who disappeared before morning because honestly his dad abandoned him while his mum was sick and now he’s confuses being wanted with being loved. BUT. somewhere along the way, his performance on his "new summer job" becomes indistinguishable from the real thing and the fake dating slowly turns into the messy “i was paid to date this guy but omg i think i genuinely care about him???? and maybe i like him???? and sometimes i get the vibes that he likes me too????? which is totally crazy because i've never had this before and now that i know what is like i don't wanna lose it but if i tell him the truth he's gonna hate me forever!!!!!!” so yeah, a disaster.
(also remus doesn’t win regulus over with grand romantic gestures. he wins him over by making him laugh, by never treating him like he’s broken, by giving him room to be quiet and making him feel like silence doesn’t have to be uncomfortable, and that's just ugh!! i love them!!)
so, the whole fic has this warm, nostalgic, saltwater-soaked summer feeling. yellow scooters. sunburns. bonfires. sandy floors. open windows. linen shirts that never quite dry. salty hair. melted ice cream on sticky hands. sunsets while sharing headphones. collecting shells like they’re treasures. homemade lemonade and sweet tea. fireworks over the harbor. falling asleep to the sound of the waves. pretending summer will last forever even though everyone knows it won’t.
and, of course, everyone knows what's going on minus regulus.
