The world according to that girl

A blog of fascinating little bits that make up my life. If a pair of shoes can change your life, why can't a blog?

[thatgirlposts07]

Do you really know who you are waking up next too?

I stumbled across a short video on youtube the other day that most definitely got me thinking.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDTfdsbo3uI

The video most definitely got me thinking about the relationships we create and how well we really know those around us. The story is of a guy and girl living together, in what seems to be a loving relationship. But as the story unfold we find out that Sona has a secret, which almost presents itself as a alter ego or different personality. It got me thinking about how well we know those around us. We share so much of ourselves with people; our bodies, our minds, like/dislikes, choices and integrity. But how can we ever be sure that the other person is showing us the same respect? In myself I have found as I’ve got older, the more knocks I have had the more honest I have become. My friends will always say if you want an brutally honest opinion then to ask me. But honesty also comes with a level of trust; I am being honest with you, I therefore expect honesty in return. It is the social constructs of a relationship. They always say without trust there is no relationship. Trust is based on the other person being honest. I can't help but wonder what happened next, did he rebuild his trust in her? Did she rebuild her trust in him? I guess the counsellor in me wonders what drove her to that point, what drove him to seek that, whether this event will effect their future relationships. Lastly why psychologically this has had an effect on me. It's not what Sona does that affects me. She seems like a nice enough character, with her own understanding 'her body, her choice Ect'. It's the fact that she's so deceitful, that bothered me. He is not without blame, but for some reason what she does effects me more. He lives with her, he's introduced her to his parents, he's sharing himself with her. But yet she's outright lying to his face. That is something I can't get my head around...bed is a somewhat neutral place in my head. If you in those moments can't be honest with the person next to you, then when can you be?

[sorryimessedupagain]

I spent three weeks in a mental hospital and what I discovered there I feel like should be put into words.

we are not who you think we are.

the boy with turrets told the funniest jokes

the girl who raked her nails up and down her skin could create the most exquisite drawings

the girl who abused drugs had the wisest soul

the boy with schizophrenia had the biggest heart

the girl who tried to kill herself told the boy with insomnia stories to help lure him to sleep

the boy who wanted to kill himself had the deepest passion for cooking

the girl with slits and scars all over her body dried my tears and told me I was beautiful

the boy with anger issues gave the warmest hugs

the girl with bulimia told everyone every day that they looked beautiful in their bodies

the boy who was a compulsive liar told us that he wanted us all to get better, and that he was for once telling the truth

the girl who almost drank herself to death stood up for anyone that felt they were feeling bullied

the boy with social anxiety made sure nobody sat alone at meals

we are not who you think we are.

[maddisonkennedy-deactivated2017]

*slams reblog button*

[thatgirlposts07]

Working in mental health you come a across many different people with layers waiting to be explored. Don't judge a book by its cover, take time to explores the pages.

[thatgirlposts07]

Tipping

Something happened today which very much irritated me. I caught up with a friend today for lunch, had a lovely time the food was nice and the table was great for people watching. Sitting there watching the world go by, with great company was fantastic. I had a fabulous time. So it came to paying the bill and we split it equally as you would. I payed with cash and my friend paid by card. The principal is that you are brought your change and you then decide on the tip you would like to leave. In this certain Italian chain restaurant that did not happen however. They kept my change as it was assumed that because I paid by cash that was acceptable. I found the whole process of asking for my change really humiliating but I wanted to make them really aware that it is not ok. Yes it might seem petty as my change was less than £5, but it still really wound me up! It's away from common curtsey or common etiquette. It got me thinking about assumptions and etiquette; do we expect people to behave in a certain way because it is right. Being British and polite had I not been so infuriated I probably wouldn't have bothered. So why did it bother me so much? In any other situation it would not be acceptable to assume something is yours when you haven't been offered it. Therefore in this situation why is it?

[baawri]

[thatgirlposts07]

This sums up so perfectly the right reasons to get married. Get married because it's the right time for you, because you want to, as you can think of nothing else you would rather do than be with that other person. Marriage is about two people not the pleasure of your family or friends, one upmanship on the ex or just because everyone else is doing it.

Get married for you

[thatgirlposts07]

Jatt Fire Karda I am a huge Daljit fan! Think he promotes a good message and really enjoy the music he is a part of. That was until I heard this song. I saw that the song reached number one in the Asian network charts so I went and had look at the video. Honestly I could not believe my eyes. Whatever Daljit's personal views are on violence, he should remember he is a role model to many. Not just in India but across the world, he is upheld as a punjabi hero. Yet this song should not be given hero status. He is responsible for influencing hundreds of thousands of fan. Does this song really promote message that should be put out there? Is violence, especially gun violence something that should be glamourised by celebrities? It feels as though Daljit has put this song out there and not really thought about the message it promotes or the effect it will have on the audience. Asian network won't play this song because it could cause offence. I think that puts into perspective what this song could be seen promote.

[baawri]

[thatgirlposts07]

You never can see what is right in front of your face! We all strive for the greener grass on the other side, we need to put into perspective the things closest to us.

[thatgirlposts07]

Just wow! This is exactly what we should be campaigning for. It is precisely the message we should portray. Indian vogue, you are empowering many many women to take a stand and show the world that they have a choice. Equality and choice from here. Women are not property, they’re free to make their own choices and be the masters of their own destiny.

[thatgirlposts07]

It's time to make that change. It's time to embrace equality. I saw this video and thought to myself I'm so glad that these huge name are associating themselves with this campaign. Even if one just one person changes their attitude because their idol respects women, that is one change for the better. The voices of these people reach thousands. I hope that people recognise the message they're portraying and bring about change not just for women or Indian women but all women. Respect to protect

[this-was-meant-to-be]

don’t tell me I’m pretty. i did not choose the way my features aligned themselves or the texture of my hair or the color of my skin. tell me i have a beautiful mind. tell me you love my honesty. tell me the way the rain makes me happy makes you happy. compliment me on things I’ve worked on, on things I’ve developed. don’t tell me I’m ugly. i did not choose the way my features aligned themselves or the texture of my hair or the color of my skin. tell me the way i enter a room like a hurricane infuriates you. tell me my tactlessness hurts you and everyone around me. tell me my inappropriate mouth is offensive and crude. criticize me on things i can change, make me a better person. i don’t care about how you think i look.

[thatgirlposts07]

Have never thought about things like this but it's so true. You can't make yourself be pretty or attractive or beautiful. Compliment me on the things I have gained and worked for! These compliments will mean so much more because they will show you've taken the time to get to know me rather than just looked at the face value.

[grandmasami-deactivated20170821]

45 People Told Us Why They Want, Need, And Deserve A More Feminist India

[thatgirlposts07]

The last point is the most poignant. Why do we need to justify india needing feminism. We don't need a reason, or a purpose or a want. Equality is not a decision it's a right. Freedom and equality are the basis of democracy. One of the worlds biggest democracies should therefor not need a reason to threat it's citizens equally, it's a right!

[thatgirlposts07]

The price of life.

http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-31698154 I was absolutely horrified when I read this article. There will probably be another post when I watch the documentary also. But for the moment I needed to speak out about what I had read. In the UK I am in a very fortunate position that for my family, girl or boy my parents believe that what god gives you is a gift not a punishment. But the mentality of one of the world's largest democracies is somewhat different. To favour one gender over another, to give no value to one gender, to see that gender as a lesser species is just wrong! My background is of a sikh punjabi family and through that despite the teachings of the gurus, I still see this discrimination and utter disregard for women within the sikh community. Guru Nanak said "We are born of woman, we are conceived in the womb of woman, we are engaged and married to woman. We make friendship with woman and the lineage continued because of woman. When one woman dies, we take another one, we are bound with the world through woman. Why should we talk ill of her, who gives birth to kings? The woman is born from woman; there is none without her. Only the One True Lord is without woman" (Guru Nanak, Var Asa, pg. 473) When your gurus are telling you that there must be equality and must be respect, how can you disregard that? The lack of remorse from these men shocked me. Their complete inability to see that they had done anything wrong, is just horrendous. Women are not the property of men, they should not be subject to the whim of men just because men feel they should be. But as the article says this is not a new phenomenon, this is ingrained in society. For change to happen, psyche must be challenged and changed. For all those people who stand up for the rights of women in India I salute you. You may not change the thinking of a nation but even if your speaking up, shouting out, demonstrating, raising awareness, understanding the problem this could change even one life. If it helps just one person, you should be very proud! Without you taking a stand that person may have become a victim but instead they are a surviver, a fighter, a woman. Not a victim!

[as-z-goes]

I’m not the type of person to give up on someone. Yes, sometimes I get really mad and upset so I need a minute to cool off but I’ll never abandon you. I don’t leave people. And I think that’s why it always hurts so bad when people leave me. Because I can’t fathom leaving you

But you made leaving me seem effortless (via sluts-n-prudes)

It's so true, loyalty doesn't seem to exist anymore. Friends that should last a life time seem to dad away. And that I will always be there is just a phrase.

It isn't until you loose something you realise how much it meant to you in the first place. People seem to come and go. It's seem so cruel. But perhaps that's just life.

[thatgirlposts07]

Sadness

Sadness is a strange thing. It encompasses you, drags you down and makes you feel just awful. It's so difficult to sift through the sadness to find the light at the end of the tunnel. But why is it so difficult? Why is sadness so hard to understand? It's so difficult to comprehend, it is so difficult to come to terms with. It's so hard to shake off and loose that feeling of just whole hearted sadness. Yesterday whilst learning about attachment and attachment theory it dawned on me I'm a needer. I need the attention, I need the love and support. That caregiver and child relationship magnified into a relationship. I rely on that relationship in my life, the safe base and that safe haven. But it's not working I feel I'm loosing touch with my bases. The safe havens and comfort blankets are all going. Everyone is moving on with their lives and I feel like I'm stuck. It has been said to me in the past that everyone leaves me and I will be alone. Once I start thinking about it all becomes so real. I'm terrified of being alone, I don't know how to be alone. I don't know how to function by myself, I don't know how to spend my evenings without another person, i don't know how to function as just one person. I'm scarce of not being in a relationship. It's been so long, it's hard to see life without the hopes and dreams. That's where the sadness comes in. I just feel so sad and i can't shift it. I can't shift the feelings of helpless sadness. I don't know how to change my outlook and how I feel. I wish there was a easy way out.....an easy way to get away from the sadness.

[thatgirlposts07]

Amazing! Now working in the mental health sector I realise how important it is to promote mental health issues and the help that is out there. Deepika is one of my favourite actresses. To see her using her fame to promote the importance of help and awareness. It's such an importance issue and not something which is talked about in my community. I'm so pleased and proud that she has been so open and honest about what she has been through. It takes a very brave person to make yourself so public. But also it's great to see her show there is no stigma, it could happen to anyone.

[thatgirlposts07]

Day 100:- That Easter feeling!

[thatgirlposts07]

Day 99:- Finally found a ❤️ shirt

[thatgirlposts07]

Day 98:- New nail varnish