That's cute, I guess.

Hello. My name is Felicity. I started this blog in June 2013 for a couple of reasons: I like fashion, I like making people laugh, I like making fun of ridiculous fashion, and most importantly because I got bored. Most of these posts will have some arbitrary score out of 10, though I tend to just make up the rules as I go along. Helping me with this site is my roommate/best friend Nadia. She is my editor, so if I spell somethig wrong or accidentally say something racist, take it up with her. If I make you laugh with my funny words, good. If I offend you, even better! You can also submit your own photos to me at [email protected] and I'll make a post about, judge it, and credit you for it! How fun! Thank you for reading. You made a brave decision with coming here and I'm proud of you.

[thatscuteiguess]

Grubbing in the Ashes

March 29, 2026

I'm a sucker for movies that depict the end of the world. Giant asteroid? Big ass flood? Alien invasion? Zombie invasion? British invasion? Give 'em to me. The dumber, the better. Tell me that there's a new movie that just came out where the world is about to come to a violent end and the only one who can save us all is a former rapper or WWE wrestler whose shirt gets ripped halfway through and I'll be like "Movie tickets are how much? Fuck that. I'll just pirate that shit."

Part of the reason I love disaster movies is that I kinda want the world to end. If it's going to happen, I want to see it! However, it won't be a supervolcano or aliens or whatever that finishes off the human race. It'll be AI. You know, that thing that nobody wants except billionaires and dumbass tech bros? Right now, there's someone who saw the picture on the left, believed it was real, thought "I want to look like a sexy Assassin's Creed character turned inside out! I also think getting a timeshare is a good idea!", ordered that... thing... whatever it is (Dress? Sweater? Straightjacket?), and got the... thing... on the right. That's the beginning of the end of humanity right there, folks.

Score: 0.3 out of 10. Who knew that the apocalypse would be so slow, stupid, and expensive?

[thatscuteiguess]

Glorious Purpose

February 6, 2026

Well, that was a good nap. I feel refreshed. I called out sick from work today because I didn't sleep well last night. I thought to myself "Felicity, you beautiful endangered unicorn, you deserve a day off! Get your nails done! Take a nap like a goddamn adult! Masturbate with that banana that you've been saving to make into banana bread even though we all know you'll never actually do it! Do I even like banana bread?"

I set my alarm for two hours, as I didn't want to sleep all day (I like to imagine that I'm not a complete piece of shit). Huh... I didn't hear my phone go off. That's weird. Oh well! How long was I out, anyway?

Eight years?! Huh. Well, that's... huh. I didn't miss much, did I? I'm sure nothing important has happened since my last post in 2018...

Oh no...

Ohhhh noooooo...

Ahem... today's post is a picture of a cute hamburger skirt that was sent to me by my 2nd favorite friend's* wife. My first reaction: there's too much bun and not nearly enough meat! Unless... I'm supposed to supply my own meat? By which I mean: my ass. On the positive side, this skirt is on sale! It's normally $15,000 for some reason, but right now it's 40% off! I think I'll just get one.

Score: 6.1 out of 10. *For those wondering, my roommate Nadia is my 1st favorite friend. My 3rd favorite is this hot Greek guy that works at the deli counter at the grocery store near my apartment. He works Sunday through Wednesday 8am-3pm and 2pm-8pm on Thursdays. He doesn't know we're friends yet.

[thatscuteiguess]

I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me

January 11, 2018

This was another article of clothing that was targeted at me and… holy shit. I know, this is a fashion blog and technically this shirt doesn’t actually exist. YET! I’m really starting to think that someone at the NSA is spying on me and maybe even has a little crush on me! I mean, he (or she? I’m open to new experiences) knows that I have titties and that I was born in February (the 10th, in case you want to get me a present). They must also know that I dated a guy in high school who yelled at me in public and was addicted to oxycontin (close enough).

What other incredibly specific information about me do you know, Mr. or Mrs. Secret Admirer? Do you know that I don’t care for cheesecake (I don’t like the texture) and yet I will eat at least 2 slices every single time it’s offered to me? Do you know about that time that I did a bunch of mushrooms and cried non-stop for 3 straight hours after watching “Home Alone 2: Lost in New York”? Do you know about that time I once pleasured myself to Frosty the Snowman, and ever since I secretly fantasize about about meeting a guy who’s willing to surprise me by wearing nothing but a top hat and whispering “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” to me?

Please don’t be scared of me. I just laid it all out on the table. We live in a cynical world. A cynical world! And we work in a business of tough competitors. I love you. You... complete me!

[thatscuteiguess]

The Internet Knows Me So Well

I was vagin’ around on the internet (the female equivalent of “dicking around” that I came up with that I really hope catches on!) for a couple hours, doing what I normally do: Checking out inferior fashion blogs (“the competition”), recipes for dishes I will never make, exercise tips I will never follow through with, solo sex tips that I will definitely follow through with, and pictures of obese cats wearing hats. You know, the usual stuff. After a few hours (or maybe a few days? Fuck, how long have I been doing this? Did I shower at all?), I was given the above ad.

Now, I know that ads are targeted to me based on my searches, the sites I frequent, what I say around my computer, and what I dream in my sleep. Does the internet think I would be interested in a “raw meat hoodie”? Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely interested in it, but wow. My entire life has led to this moment. I am the girl that the internet has decided would feel the need to look like Lady Gaga on laundry day. There was my life before this moment, and my new life starting now.

[thatscuteiguess]

The Do’s & Don’ts of Accessorizing

November 8, 2017

Original post: March 26, 2016

Hello, my name is Felicity, and I’m a fashion expert. Quit laughing! I really am! Well, fuck you, I’m just going to keep saying that I am. Ahem… anyway, as the world’s leading fashion expert, I’m here to give you some tips on how to accessorize, because as my grandmother once told me: “Ay, chica! I’m trying to watch my stories!”, which is Spanish for “Accessories are the most important part of any outfit!”

DO: Think of your size when accessorizing. For example, bigger girls should find the accessories that make them feel the most confident and looks best on their figure, whereas skinnier girls should accessorize with shutting the fuck up about other girls’ weights.

DON’T: Accessorize with ice. It may seem like a cool idea (see what I did there?) to want to look like some kind of “Frozen queen” from that one Disney movie I forget the name of, but ice melts and won’t that be embarrassing when you show up to your next Spring event and you’re all wet and naked? Unless that’s the type of even you’re going to… in which case, carry on.

DO: As the model above shows, severed pig heads always make great fashion statements! The Fashion Police will praise you as you’re being taken away by The Actual Police!

DON’T: Question my authority as a fashion expert. Just wanted to put that out there.

DO: Accessorize according to your location! For example, if you’re in China, a cute gas mask can spruce up any outfit! If you’re in America, you can never have too many guns apparently! [note from Nadia: As an English woman, I should add: if you’re in England, just wear something inconspicuous. We don’t like a lot of attention. I’m sorry for interrupting.]

DON’T: Come up with this whole premise, get a couple paragraphs in, and then be unable to finish it by being incapable of thinking of another “Don’t”! Also don’t get angry at your computer, hit it a couple times and blame it for not helping you come up with a coherent way to end your post (because you’re a little drunk), then just end it mid-sentence kind of like

[thatscuteiguess]

Empty

April 24, 2017

I had a dream last night where I died. Actually, the dream started after my death, so I don’t know how exactly I died (probably a heart attack from too much Taco Bell sex). In the dream, I wasn’t in Hell, and I certainly wasn’t in Heaven, but I was in some sort of barren purgatory. Also I’m naked. I’m always naked in my dreams. Anyway, I looked around to see if I could find anyone that could help me, but had no luck. Finally, I see some people in the distance. I ran and I ran and I ran, and eventually I catch up to them. I tap them on the shoulder and ask “Excuse me, I think I may have died! Can you tell me where I am?” They turned around and I saw that they had still, lifeless looks on their faces like mannequins. Before I could scream at the uncanny horror, spiders crawled out of their hollow eyes, up my legs, and into my... well, you know. At that point I woke up, laying in a pool of sweat. At least, I hope that was sweat!

Anyway, for some reason this picture of Kylie Jenner and her friend who I don’t care enough to look up the name of reminded me of that dream. Those cold, dead eyes, those lips that look like a Macy’s Day balloon got stung by a swarm of bees, and that ugly tracksuit that looks like it was stolen from a NASCAR-themed bachelor party but actually probably cost more money than I’ll make if I lived to be a thousand years old... Quite frankly, this picture is scaring me! The entire Kardashian/Jenner clan are all horrible, but are we certain that Kylie is not the spawn of Satan? I think we should do an exorcism, just to safe.

Score: 0.6 out of 10. I mean, I know this is a still image, but I strongly believe that she’s going to crawl out of it and eat my heart just for fun! Somebody get this girl a Pepsi. It solved racism after all!

[thatscuteiguess]

Back to the Future

September 5, 2016

Alright, fans of this site... both of you listen up! I’m going to confess something horrible to you. Are you ready? Here it is: I’m not perfect. I know! If you need to sit down and take a moment to collect yourself before you continue reading, I completely understand! Are you okay? Okay. Why do I say that? Because, even though I present myself as a flawless, fit, totally normal person with no history of binge eating and no hidden mental disorders, I’m actually not perfect. Case in point: I hurt my back! I want to tell you that I hurt my back while saving children from a burning orphanage or by pulling an all-nighter as a dominatrix at a BDSM dungeon, but really it’s because I must have sat weird or something. I know... lame!

In honor of my sore back and my laziness finally getting the best of me, I’m stuck here on the computer for a while (as opposed to days when I’m not?) searching for dressing and outfits that emphasize the back. While doing so, I came across this wonderful picture. What is with this woman’s backside? Where is she going? When she sits around the house, does she sit around the house? Does Sir Mix-a-Lot look at that ass of hers and is like “That’s a little much”? Is she smuggling snacks into a movie theatre in that ass? I don’t blame her! Eight dollars for a small popcorn? Are you fucking kidding me? And what’s with all these damn sequels and reboots? Is Hollywood out of ideas? What was I talking about again?

Score: 6.9 out of 10. I typed in “sore back” into WebMD and it turns out I have every cancer there is. If that’s the case, this will be my last post. My tombstone will read “Felicty, She Died As She Lived: Unshowered And On The Internet”.

[thatscuteiguess]

Nero

August 30, 2016

I woke up from a nap today (I swear, that nap felt like it lasted 57 days!) and I had fur on my fingernails, much like this probably-less-attractive-than-me model in this picture here. Here are the possible explanations for this:

1. My roommate Nadia got drunk without me (that bitch). Since she is really tiny, almost to the point that people assume she’s a child or very, very sick, it doesn’t take much for her to black out. While in one of her usually hilarious stupors, she must have gotten into the super glue (that I can never seem to find in this goddamn apartment when I need it!) and glued some random fur, possibly from a carpet of ours or roadkill from outside, and glued it to each of my recently manicured nails. That sounds plausible.

2. You know that myth that if a man masturbates too much, he’ll grow hair on the palms of his hands? Maybe “fur on the fingernails” is what happens to us ladies! I mean, I have been single for a while. I swear, a picture of a grilled cheese sandwich turned me on the other day!

3. I’m a liar, none of this happened, I just wasted your time, and eventually everything in this world will cease to exist and be forgotten. I think I might go with the first option though.

Score: 4.6 out of 10. I feel rested now. And hungry. I could go for a grilled cheese... actually, I think I need a shower first!

[thatscuteiguess]

Freedom is the Only Way

July 4, 2016

Hey there, America! You’re looking good for 240! My grandmother is about 240 and she doesn’t look half as good as you! It must be all the cigarettes. Anyway, happy America Day! I try not to say “Independence Day” around my roommate Nadia, who is British, because I worry that she’s still not over that little tea party we held... [note from Nadia: What a waste of perfectly good tea! Who just tosses into the harbor like that?! Though, to be fair, we stole our tea from the Asians. I’ll shut up now. Thank you for the day off from work, America!]

I’m going to celebrate the birth of my home country in the most American way possible: First, I slept in until way later than I wanted, because there is nothing more American than pure unfiltered laziness! Next, I’m making bacon for breakfast, by which I mean Nadia is making bacon for us, because I can’t make anything more complicated than toast without crying. Now, I’m posting a stupid image online and making fun of it for strangers for approval while simultaneously illegally downloading music and Photoshopping my face onto thinner models’ bodies. 1st Amendment! Later, I’m going to eat a burrito for lunch and probably Chinese food for dinner while arguing with stupid fucking Comcast about my stupid fucking Comcast service. Finally, I’ll drink tequila until all I can see is red, white, and blue, and then nothing but black. ¡Feliz Día de la Independencia, America!

Score: 8.4 out of 10. [note from Nadia: I promise you that Felicity is going to do all of the those things. She already started on the burrito!]

[thatscuteiguess]

True Love

June 26, 2016

“Where are you, Thomas? I’ve been all alone for many nights, longing for your touch, your voice, your hot tuna breath. You knew how to make a woman feel special and loved! The way you twitched your whiskers whenever you walked by or how you would randomly put your asshole right in my face always made me purr. You were always the classiest gentleman as well, always opening drawers in the bathroom for me and leaving me the bottom half of dead mice that you find, which is where all the tender meat is.”

“Where are you, Thomas? It feels like you’ve been napping for hours! I hope you are okay! You haven’t been hanging out with that neighbor cat Peanut again, have you? I told you that he’s a bad influence. I also hope that you’re not seeing his sister Princess Floofykins! She’s a total slut! She just had 7 kittens and is already outside rolling around on her back in the driveway again!

“Anyway, please come back to me, Thomas. I know that you would never leave me for good! You’re a very good boy. Yes you are.”

[thatscuteiguess]

Love

June 17, 2016

Hello. My name is Nadia. I am Felicity’s roommate, editor, and the one who holds her hair back when she vomits. I am also a lesbian. My turn ons include attractive women and long walks on the beach. My turn offs include short sprints on the beach and getting murdered for simply existing.

I’ll be honest... I have been crying a lot since that horrible shooting in Orlando a few days ago that claimed 49 victims and dozens more injured, most of whom were gay like me. What really has been bothering me lately is these people on social media who are celebrating this news, a portion of whom I believe to simply be insensitive trolls looking for attention while simultaneously attempting to locate their almost microscopic bollocks (Sorry, I’m British. For our American readers: They’re failing to find their tiny dicks). However, many are genuine in their hate. I came across Tweets that referred to the victims as paedophiles and sinners and asking why there couldn’t have been more.

I’m very shy, find it difficult to make eye contact, and generally prefer to stay in and waste my days endlessly scrolling through Reddit and Tumblr (I know, I’m a real catch in the lesbian community). The worst thing I ever did was once I stole a whiteboard marker from my maths teacher when she wasn’t looking when I was 12. I felt so guilty that I returned it the next day. My teacher never even noticed it was missing, but I’ve been thinking about it for a decade now.

Why did I bring that up? Because I’m no paedophile. I could never, nor have I ever wanted to bugger a child. I can’t even steal a marker properly! I’m not automatically a monster because of my sexuality, which, by the way, I didn’t bloody choose in the first place, and neither were the victims. Where’s your goddamn humanity, people? I’m also an atheist, however I would be angry and devastated if some insane asshole shot up a church and killed several dozen people. It doesn’t matter what you believe in... these were human beings that were killed in Orlando! The shooter didn’t see them as people who were worthy of love, equality, and life. Let’s try to be better than a terrorist, shall we?

Shit... I forgot to be funny. Eh, I’ll leave that to Felicity in the next post.

[thatscuteiguess]

Perfectly Clear

June 4, 2016

I think that I’ve either been doing this blog for too long or I’ve been alive for too long. I saw this shirt the other day (I came across this picture online. I didn’t see it in real life. You think I enjoy going outside to places that have people?) and it kinda made sense to me! I saw this shirt and I thought to myself “Of course.” I realize that I’m getting older and therefore getting more swagalicious mature, which means, as an adult, allow me to explain the meaning of this shirt...

“Australian hat” could be a metaphor for anal sex. Why? Because parts of Australia are referred to as the “Outback”, which could be a subtle term for moving your way down to someone’s backside. “She was thc wa” is a weed reference. THC, which stands for Tetrahydrocannabinol, is the main mind-altering ingredient found in the Cannabis plant and is responsible for most of marijuana’s psychological effects, whereas WA is the abbreviation for Washington, which is my home state and one of the first two (along with Colorado) to legalize recreational use of marijuana in the United States. Are you still with me? Good. “HE WORE A TOOTH FROM” is obviously referencing a gentleman with dentures or false teeth. George Washington, who is also the namesake for Washington state, had false teeth. He’s also on the $1 bill, which is green like marijuana. It’s all connected! Finally, “AND WE WILL GET YOU OUT OF HERE IN” is basically referring to society and the general population. If you put this all together, this shirt is referencing a woman that gets high and has butt sex in public for a dollar. Basically, this shirt is about your mom. BOOM! I guess I’m not a mature adult yet after all!

Score: 6.9 out of 10. If you subscribe to my blog, you’ll get more high quality posts like this!

[thatscuteiguess]

I'm not as am as you think I drunk!

May 22, 2016

Good morning, everyone (or whenever the hell you’re reading this)! This is a special post because this is my 800th post!! (actually, all of my posts are special and if you don’t believe me, go to the start and read every single one of them). To celebrate this writing achievement that not even William Shakespeare accomplished (that lazy fuck), let’s do a little Q and A with your’s truly!

Q: What is the weirdest fashion that you have seen on someone in real life?

I live in Seattle, which means pretty much everyone under 40 wears flannel and everyone over 40 wears sandals with socks and gray t-shirts with sporting goods store logos on them. However, there are a lot of hipsters here, so I see plenty of handlebar mustaches, glasses with blinds on them, and sandals with socks but worn ironically. I also once saw a lady wearing an entire dress with matching purse and shoes made entirely out of duct tape. That was neat.

Q: Felicity, I love you. Will you marry me?

No, I’m already married to the sea.

Q: Why are you such a mean bitch? What gives you the right to make fun of people’s fashion choices on this site?

I have a massive inferiority complex and lots and lots of free time.

Q: You’re stuck on a deserted island and can only bring five things with you. What do you bring?

A large boat, a robot to navigate that boat with me on it home, a working Ms. Pac Man arcade machine, and two pizzas. Those last three items are to help me pass the time because it’ll probably be a long boat ride home.

Q: What do you and your editor/roommate/best friend Nadia look like?

I have scales like a dragon, beautiful feathery wings, one blue eye and one purple eye, and I’m 11 feet tall. Meanwhile, Nadia is a series of stray cats in a trenchcoat.

Q: Seriously, what do you look like? You’re a self-proclaimed “fashion expert”, but we don’t know what you or Nadia look like!

I’m not ready to show you what we look like yet (which reminds me, I wonder if my old MySpace profile is still up?). That’s for a very special post in the future. But, I can give you a preview! Here’s a picture I just snapped of our Totally Awesome 90′s Mix that we burned and listen to on long car trips:

Radical, I know!

That’s it for this post. Thank you all so much for reading, sharing, liking, and subscribing! I love each and every one of you and your support means the world to me. Cheers!

[thatscuteiguess]

Look At ‘Em!!

May 16, 2016

Hello. Because barely reads this blog and also because I can do whatever I want, let’s talk about two of my favorite subjects: boobs. I have them, my roommate has them, one of the people running for President has them, your fat and ugly mama (may she rest in peace) had them. I’m proud of mine. The cleavage makes an excellent place to hide snacks when I’m at work or at a funeral!

If their nice enough, you can get away with murder, both figuratively and literally (hence all the funerals I go to)! If you’re Lady Gaga, who is a former singer and current Lady Gaga-impersonator, you can use them to distract people while you take grainy black and white pictures like this where you look like a villain in a Tim Burton movie! My point is, boobs are great. Treat them right and maybe we’ll let you live.

Score: 8.8 out of 10. You want to see mine? If I can get 100 million followers, I’ll consider showing them. I’ve almost hit 1/100th of one percent of that, so tell your friends about this site! Can’t wait that long? Here’s a sneak peak: link.

[thatscuteiguess]

Felicity Jr.

May 10, 2016

I went to a baby shower last Sunday. On the positive side, there was free food, the apartment I went to was clean (no filthy hovel behind a garbage-strewn alley for me!), I looked hella good, and there was free food. On the negative side, I don’t care for other people’s babies (I look forward to having my own with my future husband though), I don’t care for most people in general, and the free food was limited.

The baby shower (which, now that I’m thinking about it, I’m not 100% if I was even invited to it) got me thinking: What’s my future child, whom I will call Felicity Jr. for the time being, going to be like? Here’s a few ideas:

Oh god. My kid is not going to be a hipster, is he/she? Call me a bad mom if you want (let’s face it, I’m not expecting to even be a decent mom. If I manage to not leave my child on the top of my car, I’ll consider myself to be “mom of the year”). No child of mine is going to wear a fedora, dress like they’re a 1920′s prohibition-enforcement cop, and not shut the fuck up about how superior vinyl is!

No child of mine is also going to dress up like a 76-year old chain smoking divorcée that spends all of her time playing penny slots at a casino on a Wednesday afternoon, drinking Long Island iced teas with cigarettes put out into them, and complaining about how there’s “too many Mexicans in this country nowadays”. I realize that was incredibly specific, but it’s a thought that scares me more than you think.

Just to ensure Felicity Jr. doesn’t say phrases like “Arcade Fire sold out” and “Make America great again!” like the two above, maybe I’ll just keep a pacifier in their mouths whenever I can. Let’s see... should I got with a terrifying mouth with hideous teeth or... a jack-o-lantern? I’m scared now. These kids are psychic and are going to kill me if I don’t give them exactly what they want, aren’t they? My kid would never be like that!

Who am I kidding? Felicity Jr. is going to be just like this kid here. Yeah.

[thatscuteiguess]

ERROR - MODEL NOT LOADING

May 3, 2016

As you know, every post of mine starts by finding a model on the streets (I have to travel to do that because I live in the neighborhood where they apparently stick all the ugly people. I have no idea why I’m here!). Then, I either invite them back to my place or trick them to come inside (usually by leaving a trail of cocaine leading to my front door). Then, I knock them out (the next part is easier when they’re not conscious). Then, through reasons I don’t want to get into at this time, I upload them into my computer and onto this fashion blog of mine that almost no one reads! I’m sure there’s an easier way to do this, but I don’t know what it is.

However, my computer has been having problems lately. Too much downloaded Captain America/Iron Man erotic fan fiction, I guess. I brought home another model, Amber, knocked her out, and uploaded her to my 9-year old laptop that’s littered with Rule 34 Marvel shit, but she’s having trouble loading! I was only able to get her legs and ass! I knew I should have uploaded her first instead all the accessories for her to play with. I hope she’s okay. Because of this, I would like to start a fund to buy me a new computer! Send whatever money you can! The sooner I get a newer and better computer, the sooner I can ensure these model’s safety when uploading them!

Score: 4.04 out of 10. This was a weird post.

[thatscuteiguess]

The Latest in Butt Fashion

April 28, 2016

Hi there! I’m Felicity. You may know me from my hit fashion-related site “That’s Cute, I Guess” (that’s what you’re reading right now! Good for you!), as well as my numerous talk show and court appearances. Tonight, through my own free will, I’m here to present you with the latest in sexy ass fashion!

Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between, has this ever happened to you: You’re an up-and-coming young street tough and are trying to build your humble little drug trade into a multi-national crime syndicate, but rival gangs keep getting in your way and have resulted in stabbing you in an alley multiple times, primarily in the ass? We’ve all been there. Well, now you can protect that million-dollar booty of yours with FelicityCo’s “mASSter BUTTector” (better name pending)! Made with only the finest foam material that Kazakhstan can make, this will be sure to protect your derriere from anything! Still not convinced? Let’s read some totally real testimonies: 

“I love it! As soon as I get out and find the real killer, I’ll be sure to legitimately buy one!” - O.J. Simpson

“This... DEVICE... that you wear... on... your ASS! ........ It’s FANTASTIC!” - Christopher Walken

“Update to Windows 10 today!” - My computer every five goddamn minutes

There you have it. Buy one today! In fact, buy two of them! Give one of them to hottie that you have a crush on that works at the Subway down the block! I don’t give a shit! Just send me an unmarked envelope with cash in it and I’ll take care of the rest.