sneak peek at good omens season 3
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@thatspringtimepetrichor
sneak peek at good omens season 3
girl help the eldritch horrors are organising a pride and prejudice party and making us dance to mirror their forbidden and repressed love. yes there is a michael jackson thriller video reenactment outside trying to get in. no yeah i still want that rare doctor who annual
Men: Also men:
Important information for writers who arenât British but like to try to sound British in their British-y fanfictionÂ
âCuppa?â - youâre either bored or youâre offering it to someone providing a service in your home. Like a plumber, electrician or builder.
âPaned?â (Pron: pan-edd) - youâre in Wales, the question is rhetorical. You donât have a choice, youâre having tea.
âBrew?â Or âFancy a brew?â - Northern and youâre either a friend, familiar or been in the house long enough to warrant one.
You will also be judged for the amount of milk you have (clue: more is worse, because youâre weak, like your tea), and how much sugar you have (none is best, one is suspect, two is fine especially if a service man, above that will inspire disgust and horror).
To say nothing about your preferred choice of biscuit. And yes there is a hierarchy. And it changes based on geography and class.
Iâd like to make an addition: if I yell out âanyone want some tea?â, thatâs me saying âIâm making myself some tea, if anyone else wants some speak now or forever hold your peaceâ
listening to this podcast about how the french are culturally mandated to take a 1 to 2 hour lunch break away from the workplace during which its looked down upon to talk about work. which is unfortunately the sexiest thing ive ever heard
Excuse me, what
This is relevant in a million different ways, too. For me as an archaeologist, when I find purple slate roofing tiles on an archaeological site, I know that they could either have come from Wales, or from Newfoundland, because itâs the same damn slate formation!
adhd is the disorder where the âdonât want to get in the shower and donât want to get out of the showerâ feeling applies to every single thing you do at all times
i know we're all probably past realizing this but can you believe that science has come to a point where we're coming up with all of these way better and way less harmful alternatives to things like plastic just for them to never be implemented on a large scale and instead be used in small and impractical situations that provide net zero benefit just because the companies that do produce plastic don't want to let go of their stranglehold on the markets.
this is what we mean when we say "capitalism prevents innovation" in all of its ability to apply to the real world and not in some weird theoretical context. at the end of the day, capitalists want to turn a profit. and they can't do that unless they buy out all the competition. going back to our plastic example, pretty much every executive in the plastic industry can agree that any widespread alternate to their product is gonna hurt their profits, so they can either choose to completely reform their companies and produce the alternative, or they can take the easy route and just spawn kill any plastic alternative kickstarter. this is what lenin meant by monopolies; it's not just one company, but a number of companies that can all agree that anything outside of their jurisdiction is Bad and needs to be neutralized. it's how entire industries can thrive despite the general population knowing that what they're doing is bad.
Baby bear catching snowflakes
Good news: if youâre currently laying around and not producing anything, you are a credit to your species.
Iâm an ant biologist and Iâd like to point out that ants also spend a significant percentage of the time doing nothing.
Turns out sometimes the most evolutionary useful thing you can do is chill and not wear yourself to shreds, whether mammal or insect. It helps you deal with emergencies and adapt to change. Plus, you can act as living food storage!
That last part is probably more an ant thing than a human thing, but hey, live your dreams.
itâs also a bear thing, which absolutely explains me
Doing absolutely fuck-all is how antarctic sea sponges live to be over 10,000 years old, so live your best, longest, laziest life.
Remember lions? Fellow apex predators?
Yeah, they spend 16-20 hours of the day laying around, socializing, raising Cubs and napping.
The last 4-8 hours are spent hunting.
Wait wait, theyâre not a primate so they donât count.
How about Orangutans?
Well, they spend 90% of their time awake just hanging out in food-rich areas, eating fruit and leaves, socializing, raising children, and chilling.
Well, theyâre not people so it doesnât-
How about Stone Age people in Europe?
They probably worked 3-5 hours per day, every day. (Though seasonal changes in food scarcity could change that)
Laborers in ancient Egypt worked 8 hours, with an hour break at lunch. They did this for 8 days, then rested 2 days. That sounds familiar. Except⌠they also had regular time off for festivals and holidays, and only worked for about 18 out of every 50 days.
Artisans in imperial Rome generally worked from 6am to Noon, and then had the rest of the day off⌠and only worked for half the year, due to all the holidays and festivals they got off.
But thatâs too easy, what about a Peasant in medieval England?
6-8 hours per day, with Sundays off, Farm workers put in longer hours at harvest time but worked shorter days in winter when there are fewer hours of daylight. Economist Juliet Schor estimates that in the period following the Plague they worked no more than 150 days a year, due to the long holidays and many festivals.
Ugh, letâs go poorer. 17th century France. Starvation was afoot for the working poor!
During the reign of King Louis XIV, the workers of France had it tough, and hunger for the poorest was a fact of life. The typical working day was as much as 12 hours long, but two hours were set aside midday for lunch and perhaps an afternoon nap. Nevertheless, the Ancient RĂŠgime is said to have also guaranteed peasants, labourers and other workers a total of 52 Sundays, 90 rest days and 38 religious holidays off per year, meaning they worked just 185 out of 365 days.
So what changed?
The industrial revolution, baybe~~
New factory owners could work their employees to the bone due to a lack of regulation and abundance of cheap labour.
The typical factory worker in mid 19th-century England toiled away for a soul-destroying 16 hours a day, six days a week, 311 days per year!
THAT nightmare became the standard by which western society began to judge âwork-life balanceâ and anything gentler than the industrial factoryâs unfettered brutality is considered âsoftnessâ
(So many people died being mangled in those machines. Hair handkerchiefs went into style during American industrialization because working women would otherwise get their hair caught in the machines, and be either scalped or be bodily pulled inside to dieâŚ. But thatâs a horror for another time)
Americans in 2020 worked an average of 8.5 hours per day on weekdays, plus another 5 hours on weekends.
Taking out federal holidays and weekends, we work 262 days per year. Most of us get 5-9 sick days to take per year. (Yes, a fixed number, no matter how sick you really are), and usually either no paid vacation, or 7-15 days paid vacation, depending on seniority and the company. Unpaid vacation doesnât have a max, but taking it often risks you getting fired.
Even comparing against the poorest laborers in ancient history the current working structure for humans is, frankly, inhumane.
We are mammals. Let us rest. Let us celebrate holidays and attend festivals. Let us attend to our homes and families.
Even the ultra wealthy folks who got their heads chopped off gave us more time off than this!!!
Someone in the comments said something like âhumans are instinctively industrious and productive, as social creatures!â
Buddy, thatâs a lie fed to you by capitalism.
In our default state, we attend to our families yes, but we also party like hell, lounge around, and make fantastic works of art just to be proud of ourselves. We made beautiful things for the joy of creating them.
Stone Age humans may have spent a couple hours hunting and gathering, but DEFINITELY spent loads of time painting every available surface. Time and weather washed most of it away, but some places like Arizona and Colorado still preserve a few of the endless murals made by ancient hands.
Evidence shows that the ancient world was COVERED in paintings and etchings - just saturated with images of birds and beasts and humans, sunsets and cool weather. We invented mythologies and painted about them. We did something impressive, and painted about it. We taught our children how to paint and lifted them into our shoulders so they could mark the ceiling.
In our most base state, humans will work enough to survive, but our instincts demand we use all other time to create art. We want to communicate. To make connections.
âWorkingâ or âbeing productiveâ is not on that list.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
john mulaney talking about how much he loves his wife and roasting other male comedians that just talk shit on their wives is why The Gays like him so much because heâs what Straight Culture should be
he literally called her a bitch so letâs raise the standards ladies and gentlemen
the bar is at the earthâs coreÂ
literally fuck you to hell tumblr
This is the first I heard of this guy and I think this is the most dramatically Iâve seen anyoneâs words taken out of context in quite a while
John Mulaney: getting active and continuing consent to make jokes involving his wife onstage, and then proceeds to just talk about how much he looks up to her and how being with her has improved his life in every possible wayÂ
Yâall: BUT THE WORD BITCH WAS INVOLVED SOOOOOO
Why the fuck donât vampires understand animal agriculture.
âOh we are vegetarian vampires, we only drink blood from animals, so we go out into the incredibly unique temperate rainforest ecosystem of the Pacific Northwest and hunt their rare megafaunaâ what the fuck dude. Why? Just keep some cows, yâall have so much money! Just keep some goddamn goats! Order some live horses! Leave the local wildlife alone!
âI am a vampire with a soul and I am so tortured with guilt all I can eat are rats off the streetâ off the street!?! Dude what is wrong with you. Just start a rat rescue. I have friends in rat rescue. Do you have any idea how many rats they get all the time? Rats that arenât covered in fleas and filled with diseases??? Rats that are pregnant and have baby rats? Youâll be eating for the rest of your life!
All these vampires making eating the hardest fucking thing in the world like we never figured out how to get continuous animal resources for food thousands of years ago why the fuck you think you have to be hunter/gatherer about it like itâs the goddam Paleolithic
...But also for the love of Gordon Ramsey you can just BUY beef and pork blood from a butcher! Enormous drums of it! You could fill up a whole above-ground pool with ethically-sourced animal blood for less than the cost of heating your stupid mansion and have an entire Parasitic Pool Party!
Most corporate social media accounts use memes to try and appear hip with the kids so theyâll buy their product but the Sparknotes twitter account is clearly just run by a literature geek who was told they could make memes about old books and is having the time of their life doing just that
DONâT LET THIS HAPPEN TO CEREAL!!!
Listen in the past the poor have had to improvise cheap food the rich never wanted as a means to survive. And over the many years of innovation made the food taste good until eventually the rich where like: âOh hay you actually like that garbage? Why on earth would you like it?â Then they try it, love it, start buying it, and then drive the price up so much it becomes a luxury good.
They do this and its devastating, the food typically never becomes affordable again. It donât matter how cheap the foo dis to produce, it doesnât matter if there is almost no meat on the bone or its super difficult to eat and messy. Once the poor discover how to make some bit of cheap food taste good, the rich take it away via driving the price of it up.
THEY DID THIS TO RIBS.
Ribs were garage meat. Just look at them, there is hardly any meat on the bone, you have to eat them by hand usually, and they are messy. They where an undesirable cheap source of junk meat. But the poor being the poor made them taste good. (Because they donât have much to choose from.) The rich discovered the meals the poor made with them and decided they liked ribs too. People discovered they could sell a few ribs to rich people and make way more money then selling lots of ribs to poor people and the price was driven up.
DONâT LET THIS HAPPEN TO CEREAL!!!
They did the same to brisket. You used to be able to get brisket for less than a dollar a pound, which meant you could get a twenty pound brisket fairly cheaply. And then you smoked it, sliced it, and had meat for weeks if not a full month. And it was tasty. I grew up eating brisket at least once a month because my family could afford it.
It was a cheap meat because no rich person looks at the dangly part of the neck of a cow and goes âooh, that looks tasty!â.
But then Food Network started showcasing things like barbecued brisket. Rich people started showing up at places that werenât just Rib Crib to get their barbeque. And the price of brisket went up. A lot.
I regularly see it for over five dollars a pound in stores now. And while yeah, that might not seem like a lot when youâre talking only a pound or two of meat, brisket is normally sold in ten to twenty pound sizes. Itâs become completely unaffordable to the people that made it delicious.
Sushi used to be really cheap, too, until it became âtrendyâ. Guess why youâre now paying twelve dollars for your order of California rolls? Because rich people discovered something that poor people had been eating for ages.
Noticed the prices of fajita meat, chicken thighs, or ham hocks has gone up recently? You guessed it. Rich people are taking our food and now weâre scrambling to afford the things that we grew up eating.
Lobster is a perfect example of this phenomenon. For hundreds of years, lobster was regarded as a sort of insect larvae from the depth of the sea. It had zero appeal as a âluxury foodâ until people living in NY and Boston developed a taste for it. Before the 19th century, it was considered a âpoverty foodâ or used as fertilizer and bait - some household servants specified in employment agreements that they would not eat lobster more than twice a week. It was also commonly served at prisons, which tells you something about prison food.
Only by cleverly marketing lobster as an indulgence for the privileged made it cost so much. It became a vehicle for enormous profit spawning a multi-billion dollar global industry in the process. This mythical affection for lobster flesh - not its practical value in terms of taste, nutrition, or any other reasonable consideration - drives its value.
LMAO. Wait.
Anyone elseâs eye twitchin?
Food gentrification is a long standing practice and itâs some of the most evil shit I can think of. Itâs why I refuse for example as someone living in the US to buy things with Quinoa in them. It is specifically pricing an indigenous population out of their prime staple food. Itâs a horrific invasion of one of the final requirements of staying alive.