disaster™

Rhiannon // 22 // INTJ // Ravenclaw // broke college student // too many books, not enough time. // bi, shy, and ready to cry. // I wanna fight crime & shit. // Psychology, Sociology, Criminology.

[thatsthethingaboutfeels]

[suckmyassbitchh]

[montygreen]

The Good Place: 2020 Edition [insp.]

[silkirose]

2020 has officially been the longest and shortest year I feel like I've dissociated through the entire thing my soul is still in april

[hurricanesunny]

i want whatever doofenschmirtz and perry the platypus had in that kpop stan twitter au

[bobo-razzmatazz]

I want to go to my grave not knowing what this post is about

[studentlifeproblems]

[rainberrycurses-archive-deactiv]

5SOS things to remember from this decade:

Luke's obsession with penguins

"Michael, you are YeLLinG."

"It's a volcano! Ah ah ah ah!"

"Oh, that's great! I'd love to sleep with you! Oh no, that sounds bad."

The tour vlogs

"Okay, thank you."

"Fake betch"

The keeks

"Roberto"

Ketchup, the dog

"Sell the kids for food."

"iT sOUndS a BiT LoUd fOr An aCOusTiC seT, CaLum."

"You giant don't stop."

"_______, let's fucking dance!"

All of them dressed as 80s "sexy" rockstars for Halloween

Calum's pink glittery G-string

"Ashton, my best friend..."

The video where they dressed as retirees

"Let's play titanic. You'll be iceberg and I'll go down."

Their emo hairstyles

"Pretend I'm a girl!"

Ashton's Shaggy hair

"Valntyne"

Them calling Ashton the "dad" of the band

"I'm Calum Hood, I play BASS."

The Cocktail Chats

"Why can't we choose em'?" and "mA hEArt!"

Calum's pink "X" bass

"tHe TrUTh"

Them playing 5 Second Rule with Ellen

"I wanna be a jedi!" "You'll never be a jedi, you're an idiot."

Their obsession with Will Smith

Smash, Mike-Ro-Wave, Dr. Fluke and Cal-Pal

Mint Michael

"I'm Michael, i-i play the triangle."

"Press my cheek against the glass... Glass? Gloss? I don't know who I am."

Luke's constant identity crisis

"Oh my God I just seen Calum's penis."

Ashton in oversized sweaters

"dO My bALLs!"

"I wear heels bigger than your dick."

Ashton's red hair

"iT's A ChOcoLAte miLK PaRTy!"

Calum buying a role of fabric to use as a blanket

"ALrigHT, LoS aNGeLes!!!"

Ashton's Late Late Show tattoo

"This one looks like it's gonna piss me off"

"You nasty, you little nasty!"

That Rolling Stone cover

"We are 5 Seconds of Summer. Summer? SummAh?"

"Fuck you, guys! I'm leaving too!"

"Heyyy, don't swear!"

"I do what I want! I'm punk rock!"

"No, you're not... yOU hAvE piNK HaiRrR."

"Because I like cheesesteaks"

Luke's lip ring

"You had me wrapped around your fucking finger."

Calum's curls

"I am often the hype man on stage, much like Lil Wayne."

Youngblood Era Ashton

"We like polka dots!" "We like white shirts and leather jackets!" "Hey man, go fuck yourself."

Luke's quiff

"Twist, bro!" "I'm twisting, mate!"

Calum's blonde streak hair

"We're having fun!"

Michael's red hair

"Is that you? "No, he's awful"

"Fuck me at a quarter to three"

500 Years of Winter - Pizza Song

"DoN't GEt bEtwEEn mE anD mY tEQuila!"

Bandana era Ashton

"I don't know who I am."

Luke in plaid shirts

"You guys are such cunts today."

All of them in black ripped skinny jeans

"I don't like people, I'm not a people person."

"These are my parents." "What happened to them?"

The Buzzfeed video where they read thirsty tweets

"You wanna know where it is? It's at your mom's house."

Their cover of I Miss You

"bUt iS iT baLSamic?"

"Pure fuego."

"It's like you don't even know me sometimes."

Ashton not drinking the pig blood

"Michael, wHat DiD sHe sAy???" and all of Michael's answers to it

"Youngbleh, sayuami, sayuami, out yolaif."

Calum's "Empathy" hoodie

Ashton in glasses

"ThE BoDaCiOUs, tHe CAaaLUm hOOd!"

Literally all of MYT Live

"That's cRaZY."

Their cover of American Idiot

Their tank tops

"Is that marijuana?"

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[pseudoleo]

Slide 1 of 59

[thatsthethingaboutfeels]

yikes i need to start working on a PowerPoint for when my therapist kicks me out lmao

[ohlexa]

Makin’ my way downtown…

[whitepeopletwitter]

[forever-memes]

Big brain time

[yukheii]

cute couple things i’ve seen on campus this semester that make me want a stupid boyfriend

girl and guy were sitting on the same chair with the guy behind her only he was hugging her waist and fast asleep on her shoulder while she was working on her computer

saw this couple across the street from me waiting for the bus. the guy did the thing where he pretends to look for something in his bag and pulls out a finger heart instead

in the hallway i watched this girl run up to her bf and he gives her the biggest hug and goes “see told you you’d kill your presentation” then kisses her forehead

girl sitting next to me in the library has been grinding on an assignment all day (like i’d have been in the library from 10-3 with breaks in between for classes but she’d been sitting there the whole time) and her boyfriend would come in every few hours, put down food or coffee on her table, kiss the top of her head, and walk away without a word

in one of my smaller classes (probably around 30 people) this guy’s phone rang and he sprung up and left the class to answer it. usually profs don’t care if you leave class but this one is really small and he knows all of our names/faces, so when the guy comes back in the prof asks if everything was ok. he has the biggest grin on his face and says “yeah, sorry that was my girlfriend. her flight took off right before it started snowing so i was worried. she’s okay tho.”

was sitting outside and reading when it was warmer and i could see this couple sitting under a tree a little ways away from me. the girl was laying in his lap while he was on his phone. suddenly i heard an alarm go off so i look up and they start switching places so now he’s laying his head on her lap and she’s reading sitting up. it happened twice more after that

[demonius-darkblade]

new experiment: raising a child on only epic rap battles of history in place of all other entertainment. no hypothesis going in, just curious to see what happens

[byjove]

That’s right, pour 6 ounces of cocaine and 20 vitamin tablets in your coffee and you’ll never have to sleep again.

[van-dyne]

My two moods when someone mentions Tony Stark

[lesbianjamies]

vince gilligan making el camino:

[glumshoe]

Dad kept hiding pine nuts in the pages of this magazine and letting Edgar root around for them.

(Edgar cannot be released to the wild due to an injury. He now works as an ambassador bird and general household nuisance.)

[glumshoe]

Edgar has added to his vocalizations since I last saw him! He used to only say “oh wow” in a really sarcastic voice and to mimic the trill of a screech owl. Now he also screams “WHAT?!” and mumbles “what a WHOPPER!”

It was hysterically funny discussing politics with him in the room. We’d mention some new scandal and he’d randomly interject with cries of astonishment.

[fieldbears]

Please let Edgar know that I love him

[unlicenseddrsexymd-deactivated2]

Edgar has graced my dash twice today and I learned something new each time. I too love him.

[banashee]

I love everything about this, most of all the fact that you named him Edgar because it makes me think of Poe’s “The Raven” immediately

[glumshoe]

His full name is Edgar Allen Crow.

[glumshoe]

I don’t know if I added this video to this post but here are some of Edgar’s vocalizations:

Edgar isn’t a pet, he’s an educational “ambassador bird” who lives as a rehab center with licensed professionals due to a permanent foot injury that prevents him from being released to the wild.