#extradirty
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Jules of Nature
KIROKAZE
Product Placement
oozey mess
cherry valley forever
@theartofmadeline
tumblr dot com
Xuebing Du
sheepfilms
Peter Solarz
pixel skylines
Today's Document
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Game of Thrones Daily
JVL
styofa doing anything
ellievsbear
if i look back, i am lost
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Lithuania
seen from France
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from Ireland
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Vietnam
seen from Ireland
seen from United States
seen from Japan
@the-babel-fish
parallels
Even as a big girl with small titties they design those bands for skinny girls. im a 38D My band always gets shoved down hard by my armpit fat and pushed up by my back fat creating a painful effect. You poor big chested women i cant imagine what those bands put you through
what the fuck u sayin
Josh Brolin became a double villain because of the wrong bra-size?
every now and my cat does something very human like and i get very nervous and ask him “are you a person trapped in a cat’s body. or did you choose this body” very seriously to see if this time he will communicate with me and he always kinda looks to the side and then does what i imagine to be a person doing a bad impression of a cat and it makes me so nervous cuz i do way too much weird shit around my cat for him to actually be a dude pretending to be a cat
The type of anxiety this post invokes is so rare and specific
peter pettigrew traumatized us
You don’t have to fake orgasm to help your partner’s ego. The guy I lost my virginity to wrote a play about the experience, and the character based on me gave a monologue about how she regretted sleeping with him because no one else would ever be that good. So, yeah. Just tell him you didn’t cum.
Im sorry he wrote a fucking what
i love cutthroat kitchen but bingewatching makes it really stand out how often alton brown refers to himself as ‘daddy’ and makes contestants wear spreader bars
I’m sorry what
you heard me
13 year old me was soooo damn proud of not being like other girls because I wasn’t “‘‘‘‘‘boy crazy’‘‘‘‘‘‘‘‘ hooty hoo dumbass there’s a reason for that
“can you keep a secret?”
me: of course
* 3 minutes later in group chat *
why the hell are we still on this stupid website
not straight enough for facebook & too ugly for instagram
I’m the girl with the extremely knowing smile in the foreground
in this house we love, treasure, and support the oxford comma
If you take ALL the commas out of this sentence, you end up with grammarian dragons.
In this house we love treasure and support the Oxford comma.
i put jergens natural glow on one part of my arm to see what would happen and now i regret it
Wow she really needs to shave her legs
im a fucking man #whyineedfeminism
I just need whatever u put on your arm… I don’t tan at all… Ever.
i literally said what it was
this post is such a fucking mess
Is no one going to talk about the perfect rectanglular shape this thing makes on her arm
i literally said i was a man already why is this still happening
Worst and most surreal time of the week is Sunday afternoons when you’re like hyper aware of your insignificance and nothingness there has to be a name for this phenomenon
“In the end, it was the Sunday afternoons he couldn’t cope with, and that terrible listlessness which starts to set in at about 2:55, when you know that you’ve had all the baths you can usefully have that day, that however hard you stare at any given paragraph in the papers you will never actually read it, or use the revolutionary new pruning technique it describes, and that as you stare at the clock the hands will move relentlessly on to four o'clock, and you will enter the long dark teatime of the soul.”
-Douglas Adams, Life, The Universe, and Everything
my mom texted me this morning to let me know she and my dad have recently been adopted by this parliament of overprotective owls
The Council has gathered.
they watch
live from twitter
This is a roller coaster ride, start to finish.
i remember when i was little and i had to microwave something i’d always ask my mom how much time i needed to microwave it. like i thought at some point adults just learned the right amount of time to microwave anything. she was always right too so i believed her. now i’m an adult and i realized she didn’t know the right times for stuff. she just made it up. she’d be like, “i don’t know, a minute thirty?” and i’d walk away like, “wow how did she know that?” i used to think microwave times were like cooking laws you never broke. now i just throw shit in the microwave and set it on a whim. one minute? two minutes? four minutes? who cares? nothing is what you think it is.
I still ask mom how long to put things in the microwave, but I never ask dad, because dad’s instinct is to put everything in the microwave for 6 minutes and take it out before it explodes
me: logs into gmail from a different computer
my phone, having a nervous breakdown: if you don’t confirm your identity in the next ten seconds i’m gonna shoot your whole family and then myself
Jeff Goldblum Reads Hilarious Thirst Tweets
These are not owls.
are you sure
When you’re switching forms and get confused….the drunk witch chronicles.
