I am for myself

Widow, weirdo, singer, naturopathic physician, cat lady, intersectional feminist (they/she), Zelda (Sacred Realms), Trek (Friend of DeSoto), casual gamer, voracious reader, loving friend.

[criminallyaddictedtomilk]

[nuttysaladtree]

@elodieunderglass

[elodieunderglass]

That is very strange indeed!

[faethverity]

I read this as "be safe because I know" at first.

[javarisx-fightingthosedemons]

[angelbabymikaa]

some of you are mentally unwell bc your reusable water bottle is filled with black mold go wash that shit

[kienava]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[birdsareblooming]

hi i was drinking mold all my freshman year and got the most sick ive ever been in my life here's good ways to avoid that shit:

number one rule is get stainless steel shit. stainless steel water bottle stainless steel straw, you dont want that rubber plastic etc shit it grows mold like a mf. turns out that was the main culprit of what happened to me, my reusable water bottle was plastic and it didn't matter how much i let it soak or cleaned it out.

get this either if you can or can't afford the stainless steel stuff and just be really on cleaning it; staw cleaner looks like this:

and get one its mammas the bottle cleaner for your cup:

this one is 3 dollars you get soap in there and spin this shit around and push it up and down and the mold will be begging for mercy

[magicalrocketships]

My additional piece of advice: get a pack of denture cleaning tablets. These are especially good if you use your bottle for anything other than water (squash, coffee etc) or if you’ve got a built in straw with awkward curvy bits.

You put that tablet in the bottle, add hot water, let it fizz and soak for a bit and hey presto, any stains or discolouration or weird little crevices are suddenly removed of their hidden nasty bits.

My niece kept saying her water bottle tasted weird, and she washed it and washed it, and then me and my mum were like GIVE IT HERE and we put a denture tablet in it and added the straw to it and it started fizzing up the straw and all this black gunk started coming out the weird curvy bits of the fitted straw like a Coke-mentos experiment.

It’ll taste slightly minty unless you rinse rinse rinse rinse rinse rinse but that’s not a terrible thing, and let’s face it, denture tablets are for cleaning dentures so, you know, designed to clean things that go in mouths.

Anyway: wash your water bottles! Wash your flasks! More often than you think you need to!! Keep denture tablets in the cupboard!!

[fleettothebrig]

[elodieunderglass]

For whatever reasons, which are far beyond my ability to research or understand, the concept of “nonbinary” continually slides off the brain of my eldest child (Bear, 9) and they keep having to be reminded it of it. The word simply carries no associations or permanence, which is hilarious because two children they see fairly often are nonbinary and use they/them pronouns; Max, the uncle/aunt of their close friend, and Dorset, a child they go swimming with. Bear sees these kids at least once a week.

And then Bear regularly goes “WHATS NONBINARY”

And we’re like “LIKE 👏 DORSET 👏 BEAR. LOCK THE FUCK IN”

And every time Bear goes, USING THE RIGHT PRONOUNS, in a tone of receiving information they have never heard before, “THEYRE NONBINARY?”

[ramblingandpie]

This reminds me...

Many years ago, my oldest, R, now age 10, came home from a playdate and asked "who was the other lady at [friend]'s house?"

Well, buddy, that's his mom.

No, R insisted, because he knew [friend]'s mom.

Well, buddy, [friend] has two moms.

R's mind was blown. That's possible? A person can have two moms? Since when???

... well, buddy, at least since your own two moms decided to have kids. You. You also have two moms. Didn't realize it needed further explanation that other kids can also have two moms.

[rettaroo]

I have three partners who all cohabitate and we have a daughter together. I cannot tell you the number of times when she was little when she'd have the shocking revelation of "Wait, you LOVE Dad??" or "You and Mom are DATING??" Like yeah bud. We have all very obviously been together for most of your life and have been very upfront about that lmao "You and M are MARRIED?!?" Kid you were there! You watched the ceremony!!

[elodieunderglass]

SHRIEK this is EXACTLY what it’s LIKE

[drumlincountry]

Why do they even make apps for ADHD. You want me to use my 24/7 handheld immediate distraction device? To manage my 'gets distracted too easily' disorder? Ooooh we developed the perfect tool for managing your anemia. Its hosted in Dracula's castle. 👍

[shortshortking]

Picked up my phone to consult my task list for today and now I'm reblogging this instead, case in point

[vulpinesaint]

saying "question mark?" and "however comma," out loud are game changers. punctuation on the go. and it's always the funniest thing that anyone around you has ever heard

[bedupolker]

It feels cool to be "in" on celebrity gossip before anyone else. I ran into Californian Condor V9 and looked her up on the condor lookup website. It says her current mate is dead and she has no kids but I saw her with a new man AND a juvenile.

[mons7errr]

biting your forehead friday

[lionesshathor]

Actually that's very affectionate and careful grooming. Wolves and other carnivores use their incisor teeth to nibble out tangles and scratch itches in their fur. Doing so for someone else, especially on their very sensitive face, shows a highly intimate level of trust. These two are likely a mated pair, or possibly parent and child.

If you have a cat, you've probably had this happen to you. If they lick and then bite your arm, they're trying to groom you. Trouble is, we humans don't have fur, and those teeth are sharp!

[atreidespacito]

[atreidespacito]

[christianstepmoms]

The entirety of the Apollo 11 mission took up less computer storage and computation space than a single instance of Microsoft Outlook running in the background.

[pizzaback]

this is among the worst possible PR for microsoft. outlook is so shit that it fucked with the billion dollar space computer

[elodieunderglass]

And I think that’s beautiful

[everyday-cutephoto]

[ailithnight]

This is a worm? Or perhaps some sort of slug?

[marlynnofmany]

And it's gonna getcha

[desolationlesbian]

years later still thinking about the time i was being interviewed for a judicial clerkship and the judge asked me what i do in my free time and being a student i was like uh idk videogames and this very old very venerable respected jurist looked at me over his little glasses and said quote "oh, what kind? I love Dark Souls."

[costanzian]

Undulates anguilliformly at you to confuse and threaten you with my highly maneuverable body

[costanzian]

[faethverity]

I initially read this as a riff on "breasting boobily" and was very confused. Perhaps I should so get some sleep.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"smart appliances" fuck u i want them dumb as a brick and incidentally as sturdy and enduring

[cheacegirl]

I made a bad comic and now you have to look at it

[shimmervee]

be sure to leave out milk and cookies for brutus tonight

[statelywingmanor]

You can leave as many cookies as you want but he’ll only et two

[shimmervee]

this remains the funniest addition anyone’s made to one of my posts

[asmeesh]

1$ flea market score. Tiny glass 1960s perfume bottles. I love them.

[shit-show-no-go]

Can you swap their heads ?

[asmeesh]

omg you can

[asmeesh]

Their meeting was foretold in the ancient texts

[theinvisiblespoon]