I went to the small pizzeria in a nearby village last month and asked for a calzone, and when she brought it to me the owner had a look on her face I can only describe as bitter.
Naturally my first assumption was that she was judging me for my food order (maybe calzones are too easy compared to other pizzas and she felt under-challenged as a pizza chef?), but then I looked at my calzone and the more I looked at it, the more I felt like it might have been a failed attempt at a cat calzone.
(I didn't ask for a cat calzone, just a calzone.)
If I had immediately identified it as a cat calzone I would have of course said something about it, such as "Aww that's so cute! You made it in the shape of a cat!! Thank you!" — but it was too late. I hesitated too long, and it was just failed enough that I wasn't sure it was meant to be a cat.
I think this poor woman knew her cat calzone was a failure and I wouldn't be able to recognise her effort for what it was, hence the bitterness in her eyes when she brought it to me.
I asked my friend if my pizza looked like a cat to her, and she said "Are you saying this because of the olives? I think they were just placed randomly."
no, I think they were meant to be eyes, and a cat nose. And those are the ears. Wait, I'll turn it in your direction so you can see
Friend: "It's just a pointy calzone... Maybe you should ask the chef if she meant to make it a cat?"
If I tried to make a cat calzone and the recipient of this gift went like 'hey, sorry, is this weird-looking thing meant to be cat?' I would sell my pizza restaurant and drown myself in the river.
After considering this, my friend said we could brainstorm a better phrasing—but then we ended up agreeing that since the chef didn't go 'haha sorry I tried to make a cat and failed!!' when she brought my pizza, the options were a) she didn't try to make a cat; b) she feels humiliated by her failure, and either way it's better to say nothing.
But I felt deeply curious about this unresolved mystery, so this week when I went back to the pizzeria I asked for a calzone again.
The options were now: a) the chef brings me a better, recognisable cat calzone and I immediately remark upon it and she's happy and we erase the failed cat calzone from the historical record and never mention it ever;
or b) the chef brings me a normal calzone, which suggests that the vague cat shape from last time was accidental and just another instance of chronic cat pareidolia.
(I refused to consider option c) The chef brings me another failed, hardly-recognisable cat. She just doesn't seem like the kind of person who would let that happen to her twice.)
Here's the photo of the failed cat calzone from last time, which, according to my friend, just looks like a pointy calzone with randomly-placed olives and not a deliberate attempt to make a cat:
And here's what the chef brought me this time:
THAT'S A CAT.
I knew it!!!!
And it looks so sad!! This cat calzone looks like it will burst into olive oil tears if you once again fail to identify it as the cat that it is
But I didn't; I was so ready this time. I went "A cat!!!!! It's so cute!" and the chef went like yes!!! I tried to make one last time but it looked weird :(
I said I was pretty sure it was a cat last time and apologised for not bringing it up and she said no, it's my responsibility to make it a decent cat. She also said she was glad I'd come back and ordered another calzone because she was really bothered ("vraiment embêtée") by that first failed attempt, and wondering if I'd noticed an attempt was made (and failed)
That's so relatable. It's like when you make a really embarrassing spelling mistake in a text and you're not sure if the other person has seen it and is judging you for it. Should you bring it up? Can it go unnoticed if you don't? It's the cat calzone equivalent of that. I'm so glad we were able to clear the air.
saw fellowship of the ring extended edition in theaters tonight and honestly hearing a full audience laugh at legolas being told to sit down and cheering when characters escape and saying “though i do not know the way” along with frodo… truly such a fun way to experience it
return of the king whipped the audience into such a frenzy that halfway through the movie, people were applauding every time a character showed up on screen for the first time in a battle, the woman next to me started sobbing and didn’t let up until the credits, somebody went “WOO!” when denethor ate a tomato
crazy how fanfic authors drop the most beautiful and gorgeous pieces of work ever, leaving you speechless and sobbing at three in the morning as you quietly contemplate the masterpiece you just read
and they don’t get paid for it they just do it because they’re having fun and they want to share their joy with you
like I would literally die for all of you fanfic authors out there reblog to swear your allegiance to fanfic authors
I've been resource gathering for YEARS so now I am going to share my dragons hoard
Floorplanner. Design and furnish a house for you to use for having a consistent background in your comic or anything! Free, you need an account, easy to use, and you can save multiple houses.
Comparing Heights. Input the heights of characters to see what the different is between them. Great for keeping consistency. Free.
Magma. Draw online with friends in real time. Great for practice or hanging out. Free, paid plan available, account preferred.
Smithsonian Open Access. Loads of free images. Free.
SketchDaily. Lots of pose references, massive library, is set on a timer so you can practice quick figure drawing. Free.
SculptGL. A sculpting tool which I am yet to master, but you should be able to make whatever 3d object you like with it. free.
Pexels. Free stock images. And the search engine is actually pretty good at pulling up what you want.
Figurosity. Great pose references, diverse body types, lots of "how to draw" videos directly on the site, the models are 3d and you can rotate the angle, but you can't make custom poses or edit body proportions. Free, account option, paid plans available.
Line of Action. More drawing references, this one also has a focus on expressions, hands/feet, animals, landscapes. Free.
Animal Photo. You pose a 3d skull model and select an animal species, and they give you a bunch of photo references for that animal at that angle. Super handy. Free.
Height Weight Chart. You ever see an OC listed as having a certain weight but then they look Wildly different than the number suggests? Well here's a site to avoid that! It shows real people at different weights and heights to give you a better idea of what these abstract numbers all look like. Free to use.
I think my favorite variant of ‘The Chosen One’ trope is when the character just goes “WELL THEN UNCHOSE ME IM NOT DOING ALL THAT” then they do all that but scared
I think the really insidious part of the whole "I don't need to forgive the people who hurt me" attitude that's so prominant nowadays, is that it perpetuates the cycle of abuse.
Not every person who does bad things has a tragedy fueling their behavior. But a lot of them do. You can be a victim and also an abuser. Those are not mutually exclusive things. In fact, one of the best ways to become an abuser is to take the pain of the injustice you've experienced and to let it fester inside you. And that is what happens if you don't forgive.
And before anyone tries to tell me that you can't forgive someone because that means letting them to continue hurting you. That's not what forgiveness is. Resuming a relationship with someone who hurt you is Reconciling. Forgiveness is when you choose to let go of the anger and the hate and the bitterness and heal. I know this is an honest misunderstanding, but it's a dangerous one.
You don't have to remain a victim in order to forgive. But if you do not forgive you will become the same as your abuser. That's not a risk, but a fact. The cycle of abuse can be broken but you have to choose to do it.
You have to choose to heal. You owe it others and to yourself.
I’ll try my best to describe this. It’s a video with a mash-up of a bunch of different Disney movies, set to a song that’s a mash-up of a bunch of other songs. That in and of itself wouldn’t make it praiseworthy, but this is DONE SO WELL that just, holy cow.
people are not understanding that this isnt saying you cant like kids media because if thats what i meant i would look like the biggest goddamn fool right now. this post is about how limiting your interests to fandom is damaging to critical thinking but some adults refuse to leave their comfort zones because it makes them feel stupid and use their autism or adhd as an excuse to continue being ignorant. honestly i think its worth feeling a little stupid sometimes if it means learning more about the world and people around you
The Devoted Shadow - Chapter One: The Devoted (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1451195382-the-devoted-shadow-chapter-one-the-devoted?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=TheBanannah The Devoted of Erebor stood against the Dragon, fulfilling their oath to protect Durin's Heirs from harm, and the last of them followed her duty faithfully, wherever it was in Arda. Now, as the birds of yore begin to return to the Lonely Mountain, she must fulfill her oath and follow him once more, no matter if he wishes her to stay out of harm's way.
I'm so sorry this hasn't been updated, but I got the mojo juice back, and awayyy we go!
Snow had fallen much more than it had previously, delaying their departure by more than a few days, but allowing all injuries received to heal enough to travel. But with the sun no longer hidden behind the grey winter clouds, and the bright spring ahead of them, Thrain and his party began to take their leave.
Unlike many different parties that had come to the humble farm, this party lingered, more than apprehensive to leave. The family of the farm had grown quite fond of the royals and their escorts as well.
Bragar and Fundin played with the children, showing them dwarvish games and rhymes, all in the children's language; it had become an inside joke between Marlos' posterity for many years afterward. Bragar didn't show it much, but she missed how her children would run up to her and show her their little trinkets, and wished things had been different, so she could have cherished the years her sons were at this age. More than once, Fundin watched his wife wipe a stray tear from her eyes before they fell into her beard.
When Fundin wasn't with his wife and the Master's family, he was often found with Balin, walking among the fields. He and his son talked frequently, and hearts were laid out to bear. Fundin's family had been spared from the Calamity of Erebor, but he feared greatly with this approaching war.
Together, almost like clockwork, their discussion would turn to that of hope, of what they would do after the war, but their hope was more thin than a spider's silk. More than once, they would return to the guest house with their beards wet from tears more than overspent.
Gloin seemed to be the only one ready to leave when the day finally came. Thrain only had let the young one come because Dwalin, Fundin's other son, had sprained his foot three days before and wasn't fit for duty. Gloin was ready to show his steel, to prove how much of a warrior he was. What he failed to realize, however, was just how many days would pass before he could remove the armor from his frame, for fear of being run through from behind.
Thrain had more than befriended Marlos, he considered him a dear brother and looked forward to future business with the Man. Thrain also seemed the most unfazed by the looming war. His fury still burned bright in his belly at his Father's murder, as it should, but more than once, members of his escort would wonder just how far the King would go to avenge his Father before it killed him. Thrain did not doubt that the dwarves would rally at his call, and sooner than later, Moria would belong to his people once more, and his father's name would be cleansed from the Orc filth that had defiled it.
Thorin and Frerin were the most hesitant to leave. In the days that had followed Rolund and his snow slaughter, the Princes of Durin had made an effort to get to know their rescuer, although their pestering nearly caused them to leave the farm much earlier than planned. In turn, little did they know, Marlos and Thrain made arrangements to have Armis study within the settlement that housed the line of Durin when this war was over, wherever it happened to be.
"You will write to me, yes," Armis asked, holding tight to Frerin's gloved hands. She didn't know of the arrangement her father had made, she feared this would be the last time she would see them in a long while, if ever.
They stood before his pony, ready for a long journey. Thorin stood to their left, tightening the straps on his steed, feeling more than a little... he couldn't find the right word but he wasn't too happy that Frerin was hogging their friend's attention as of late.
"Of course I will, my little Rutty," Frerin said sweetly, stooping low and setting a gentle kiss on her knuckles.
Thorin's frustration bled into his actions, the pony called out as the movements, normally smooth and loving, suddenly became quick and sharp. Hooves stamped in the gravel path as Thorin quickly and quietly mumbled his apologies to the steed, running his hands over her hide as if that would soothe the pony.
The pony's sudden discomfort wasn't ignored as Thorin had vainly hoped, Armis immediately came to the pony's muzzle, her retort directed at Frerin, and ironically ignored by Thorin, for calling her Rutty was lost as she soothingly rubbed the pony's chin, whispering sweet nothings for only the steed to hear.
The brother's eyes locked for a half second as Armis calmed the pony, Frerin's gaze playful, his eyebrows wiggling as his mirth bubbled up from his heart, and Thorin's gaze cold, although love was hidden in its icy blue depths.
"I want you both to write to me," Armis commanded, now stroking the pony's muzzle to soothe her worries. She looked between them, not having seen their looks earlier. Thorin inhaled deeply, his fingers finding their way to the pony's mane, soft and smooth.
Thrain's call to move out came from the front of their group, Armis felt her heart squeeze. With a quick hug for the two princes, she backed up to join her family, standing at the edge of the porch as they bid their new friends safe travels. She held their eyes for a good while as the troop moved down the path. She felt a deep connection with them, one that she only recalled having with her parents.
"May your beards grow ever long," Marlos called out as the dwarves reached the end of the yard, his hand held out to say farewell, tears held bay so long as the Dwarf King could see him. The longer the dwarves had stayed, the more sure Marlos had become of the deep sorrow and dread that brought the old farmer to his knees.
Thrain turned back, his arm held high as he waved back, oblivious to the tears in his companions' eyes and that of the Farmer's Family, "And your days be long on this land!"
That was years and years ago it seemed. Almost another life, Armis felt. So much had changed since that day, including her. For seven long years she had exchanged letters with the Heirs of Durin via a raven. She had never known the birds to be clever, but the princes quickly set her right, they also communicated with their Mother in the Iron Hills, over half a world away, via ravens. It was how Armis, now settled into an apprenticeship within Ered Luin, communicated with her Father, still on their humble farm, and still tending every day to his land.
Armis chuckled to herself as the bittersweet memories of letters and ravens filled her mind. Her last correspondence with them was over forty years ago, she hoped beyond hope that they had simply misplaced the raven, but she knew something had happened. Last she had heard from them, there was going to be a last battle, a final stand against the Orcs. She swept away the memories with the dust on the porch she stood upon, the front of a tinker shop run by a dear friend of her mother's family, his name was Bofur.
His bright and jovial laugh pulled Armis further out of her melancholy feelings, and with a final push, the porch was free of dust and ready for the stampede of children soon to come.
"Now that's a sight I'll never get tired of," He said, joining her on the porch. His hat was on crooked, like always, and his mustache was twisted up with wax to its usual points, on either side of his bright and wide smile. Armis leaned on the broom, turning her head on its side as she waited for him to continue, her braid, long and thick gently swaying in the summer breeze. He chuckled and pulled a hand out of his front apron pocket, pointing at the street before them.
Armis turned and looked, finding the street empty, save a stray cat and a few barrels. She could see clear to the school's door at the far end, the children all in single file just behind the door frame, the strong door held open by the tutor. He held his hand up, as if he was to start a race, ready to duck behind the door should the children decide to all come out at once, which had happened more than once. The tutor didn't seem annoyed, or frustrated, his bright smile betraying the professional atmosphere he otherwise displayed.
The bell from the towers rang, one, two, three, and the children began to march, something that Bofur had made them promise to do, or else be barred from his shop for the next two weeks. The eldest of the children, Bofur's little nephew Bunbur, stood at the front of the line, whispering to the youngest of the children behind him how it should be done. They copied his motions, exaggerating their swinging arms, their faces pinched up in an attempt to look stern, "Like a soldier," Bunbur had said. If the young dwarrow's heart wasn't set on taking over his Father's Bakery when he grew older, Armis thought he would have made a great tutor when the time came.
Armis lifted the broom off the ground, caught it in its upward motion, and twirled around on the ball of her foot, quickly tucking the broom away into the shop, just inside the door, employee's side of the counter. By the time she returned to the porch, all the children were lined up again, looking more like the start of a race and less like being let out of school. Armis brushed the front of her own apron off, pulling the drawstrings tight behind her, making sure that a few sweets were safely stored in her own pockets for the select children who couldn't afford their own.
With the school's door firmly shut and secured, the Tutor stood to one side of the children, something he, nor the tutor before him had done previously. She turned to Bofur, he turned to lean on one of the supports for the awning, his eyes still glued to the sight across the market, but otherwise facing his apprentice.
"He's just making sure everyone knows where they're going, lass." Small shouts, excitement plainly heard in their voices, came from the little students then, one at a time. "We had a pebble go missing last release because he went one way when he was told to go another."
Armis nodded as the Tutor said something else, but with a quick bow, the children were off to their devices, a great majority of them racing as fast as they could to Bofur's tinkering shop. Some went to the public washing house to ask their mothers for spare coins, and others went home, promising their friends that they'd be back as soon as their chores were finished.
The door was pushed open by the shop owner himself, Armis recalled last week when a young one had slammed the door open, a new dent was left on the said door, the child had been so eager to enter!
Business went by quickly, children marveled at the new tinkers Bofur had set up to display, a few tears were shed as the children realized that some of the more popular trinkets had been sold, but the tears were soon stifled as a taller child saw the display saying that more would be coming soon.
Armis ran the sweets 'bar', making sure to wipe off the stone countertop frequently to keep the sticky messes from building up. She tended to the children with care, being extra sure to wipe their sticky fingers too. Bofur ran the rest of the shop, grateful for his brother's generous supply of sweets, treats, and discounted prices for them, and for the extra help Armis had been. He had been running it with his cousin, but since returning from the Iron Hills, and fully recovering, Bifur never quite was the same around children. He preferred to stay in the back, providing the tinkering trinkets rather than handing them out.
The flood of children had stemmed finally, some odd hours later, and Armis could step away from the counter for just long enough to clean up the shop. She took her trusty broom from behind the counter again and began to sweep away the cookie crumbs from the Children's bar, setting the forgotten toys up on the counter so they could be set into the lost bin, kept right next to the broom's corner.
The door flew open and a little pebble ran right up to Armis, barreling into her legs with such force she thought for sure that she would topple over.
"Up, up, up," He shouted, holding his arms up as he bounced on his feet. With a bright smile, Armis obliged, lifting the dwarfling and setting him on her hip. He threw his arms around her neck, humming as he pulled her tight, Armis couldn't help but laugh.
"Now what are you up to today, Master Fili," She asked, pulling away to look at the blonde menace, and a menace indeed! If you couldn't tell from his frizzy braids or his dirty face, you could tell by the look in his bright blue eyes, that he was always up to something. He pulled back and put his finger to his chin, tapping it thoughtfully.
"I dunno- Whaz that?!" He pointed past Armis to the top display on the window, white, black, and green stone shone in the wooden frame, Armis couldn't help but smile to herself.
"It's a jewelry box! It's where your amad would keep her stones and pretties-"
"What does the other side look like," He asked, leaning out just enough to cause Armis's balance to shift, she pulled him close again. She quickly stepped out the door and brought him around to see it, pointing at the box for emphasis. It was a simple box, but one that Armis was proud of, her first of hopefully many more.
"Didja make that one," He asked, pointing as he stared at her. She nodded and he shrieked, bouncing on her hip as she struggled to keep from teetering over, his momentum and weight adding to the struggle. "It's so pretty, how long did you take? How did you make the stone all those colors?"
Armis began to tell him how the stone came that way, but a sharp and deep and familiar voice cut through her thoughts, silencing her words.
"FILI SON OF VILI!"
"Down, down, down," Fili hissed, practically jumping from her arms. She quickly set him down, keeping a good hold on his shoulders as he turned to face the voice, should he want to run off. That's happened a few times with the more troublesome pebbles. They'll retreat to Bofur's shop and have their guardian furious for whatever trouble they had caused, and now for running away from their consequence.
The two of them turned around to face who had called, and Armis felt her heart stop as a familiar face stomped up to the porch. At first, she had recognized the voice as that of the dwarrow's Father, her heart hammering against her ribs, but she was glad she was mistaken, she only hoped his temper wasn't as famed as his sire's.
His hair was streaked with silver, but still the dark black she remembered, and many a faded or fading scar lay on his bare forearms, his shirt sleeves were rolled up. He was speaking harshly to Fili, his finger wagging at him as he picked up the youngster. Armis thought Fili had said something back but she couldn't hear him but she wasn't sure. He turned from looking at Fili, sternly, to apologize to Armis for disrupting her business, but he stopped too, shock crossing his face as their eyes locked. Warmth, shock, and joy radiated from Armis then, her dear friend smiled widely at her, saying something, but Armis couldn't hear it again...
Armis was awoken by the memory of the shock she had felt, but she figured it was a good thing that it happened. She had to get everyone up and out if they were to remain on schedule. She peeled her tired and aching body from the soft dirt and blankets, pushing away the sleep that tempted her to pull her back down. If she was to see Thorin's cursed dream fulfilled, she would have to see it through until he got here. If he got here...
She pulled herself further upright to fix her boots upon her feet. Her body quietly protested as she willed it to move, but not without a very valid reason. She had practically sprinted from Ered Luin to the edges of the Shire before she dared even attempt to acquire a steed. Everyone in their grand settlement would have immediately told Dis, and then she'd have to deal with yet another Durin's famous temper. She knew one was coming once her dear one was upon them...
The dwarrowdam stumbled over to the last watchman for the night, Dwalin, raising her hands far over her head as she stretched out the last of her tiredness. He had his back to her, set on a pack of wood, he hardly turned around when she let out her loud and ragged yawn. With an eyebrow raised, she leaned into his view to find his entire being pinched up. His eyes were the most pinched, she couldn't read what they were silently trying to tell her. With a deep intake of breath, Dwalin finally relaxed, uncrossing his arms from his chest and setting his hands on his knees, shaking his head as his gaze fell to the ground.
"You will deal with him when he returns," He muttered, not meeting her gaze. Armis finally got his hidden message. She threw her head up to the sky, throwing her hands out as she tried to find the words to explain her reasoning. Dwalin stood up, deft and quick, before she could even utter a syllable.
"I don't want to hear your reasoning," He began quietly, his face lowered to look her in the eyes. Armis couldn't read his face or his emotions again, she was more than a little worried. "In truth, I'm glad you're here with us." Armis let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding, "But don't assume I will defend your actions. It's bad enough you disobeyed your husband, don't make me have to choose between my friend or my king..." With those parting words, Dwalin left his post, his foot purposefully colliding with Nori's back, rudely awakening the reformed thief. Together, once Nori had finished grumbling his complaints at the rude awakening, they went to gather the saddles and tack for their steeds.
"If this could be avoided, I wouldn't be here," She mumbled as she went to pack up her things.
Truth be told, Armis was going to come. Ever since Thorin had come back from Bree the first time in early March, that had been the plan. He and her were going to reclaim Erebor, hand in hand, but plans had changed. Armis remembered it clearly.
The dwarves of Ered Luin had thrown a party for their heroes, a solemn but joyous party, and only those of close kin knew the true reason for their leaving. Most assumed that Thorin was taking the young princes to visit their kin in the Iron Hills, a chance to experience more of the Long Beard's culture and clan, having been raised around the Broad Beams all their lives.
Armis hadn't seen her husband all day, he had left early in the morning, before the sun had peered over the horizon even. She recalled him stepping out to give the final toast before the celebration was to fully begin, the traditional Parting Glass, and their eyes locked. That same familiarity from so many years ago on Bofur's shop porch shone in their eyes, warm, loving, a hidden smile within, but he took a deep breath and broke their gaze. With his glass raised high, Thorin asked a blessing of safety and success come to them, and that loved ones would find the strength they needed to continue.
Glasses and mugs were raised solemnly, the drink of each dwarrow's choice was downed and the party resumed at Thorin's behest. Armis should have known something was eating away at him, but at the time he only looked tired. He soon joined her at the table she, Dis, Fili and Kili had taken up, unnaturally silent. He didn't stay long, and for that matter, neither did she. He pulled her away from the grand party, found a small room that was unoccupied and gently shut the door behind them.
His face, Armis will never forget his face then. His eyes, normally bright and full of emotion, were dull and cold, not cold like when he was being polite to a rude dwarrow, but cold as if there was nobody within; his poker face, Dis called it. Armis hadn't spent many days with him at City Meetings, but she did recognize the wall set up around his heart. Before she could ask what was troubling him, Thorin gently pleaded with her to stay in Ered Luin. Tears welled in his eyes, now dark with fear and sorrow she hadn't seen in him in many years.
Armis wanted to lash out then, scream at him, how dare he ask this of her! In all his plans, in all their schemes, she had always been a part of them, ever since he had formally asked for her hand, so many years ago. Now, to change them so suddenly, and without a valid reason, she had half a mind to smack some sense into him.
But his eyes. It's always his eyes...
And so, Armis had stayed at Thorin's request, after many tears, empty threats, and promises that Armis somehow knew wouldn't be kept. Thorin had left again before the sun had graced their small home, or the land roundabout with its light.
When the Company settled down for the evening, they had found a nice little wide-mouthed cave. Well, it was more of a rock, carved out so the 'occupants' could shelter from the wind. Dwalin and Armis hadn't spoken since that morning, other than to discuss travel paths. Armis made a point to keep a few feet away from him, she didn't want to step on already bruised or broken toes. After supper had been put away, she set herself on a shelf found in the rock, by the mouth's cave, deciding to shut her eyes for just a moment. Her green eyes scanned her companions, most of them were sat around the fire or tucked into their sleeping sacks, although she thought it was far too hot, hence her spot up on the stone. She happened a glance at Fili and Kili, they were busy sharpening sticks to poke the fire with, or knives simply for the sake of doing something. With a final sigh, she settled further into her stony seat. She hadn't gotten much sleep in her haste, so she might as well try now.
Her mind wandered, the memory of her dream came then, and she thought of that particular moment. She smiled to herself, Thorin's words coming to mind now. He had been scolding Fili, who had always gone to Bofur's shop after his schoolwork was done, while his Amad and brother washed up laundry nearby. Thorin had just returned from the Iron Hills, Dis had mentioned in passing that her brother was going to be arriving sooner than later, but Armis hadn't even fathomed who it could have been. Thorin was still getting used to how Dis ran her household, a task even he dared not to undertake with Fili, being just old enough to begin attending primary school, and Kili, who began toddling around the house two months ago; Dis was still 'baby-proofing' the house and furniture again.
As far as Thorin knew, Fili was distracting Armis from her work, hence the scolding, to which Armis assured him that her work very much included showing the young pebbles possible paths they could pursue, such as tinkering, mining, carpentry, and cooking, to name but a few.
She had been with Bofur, Bifur, and Bombur for nearly a year at that point, as they had befriended her mother's nephew and was with him when he passed from his life in Arda, due to an illness of the lungs. When Marlos had written her kin about housing Armis in her studies, unaware of his passing, Bofur had been quick to respond, with condolences, and then assurance that Armis would be welcome in his shop and home if she still wanted. Within his humble home, she learned different types of tools required in carpentry and general tinkering, and she was shown the mines and their vast depths. Armis remembered she felt out of place within the mines, but kept that to herself, as the teacher of her youth had mentioned how much the dwarves loved to mine, as they were 'made of stone.'
Shortly after Thrain and his party had left their farms, two more dwarrow had stumbled into their home, sometime in the middle of the night. Armis recalled that she had been awoken by her Father and this new visitor's companion the morning following their arrival, shouting about something within the upstairs Study. When Marlos finally emerged, he informed those at the dining table that they would have a guest with them for a few months, the other was to return to whatever he had been doing before, Marlos was very irritated at that. Armis didn't pry into it. This guest was to teach Armis about her heritage as a dwarf, in exchange for room and board while his leg healed from a breakage in the thigh. This dwarrow had taught her much, but as he had told her, "Experience is everything!"
Soon enough, Armis had learned all she could, and the guest's leg had long been healed, Marlos allowed his board to continue until there was nothing left to teach. When the time had come, about five years had passed, and the guest urged Armis to visit Ered Luin, which was the closest settlement. At the time it had been a little hamlet, mostly occupied with Broad Beams and the stray human, but overall a safe place to visit.
Marlos thanked the Guest but said they would wait a few years before Armis could say anything, as much as she had wanted to visit the hamlet then and there! Thrain had paid his debt in the years that had followed but made no mention of housing Armis at the time, Marlos hoped that he would remember and mention it, but the Old King never did...
When Armis finally left Ered Luin, when her father's health began to fail, Kili was just old enough to begin school, which was to start a new session at the end of the month. Armis smiled to herself again as sleep gently took her away, tears welling under her eyelids at the memory of her sorrow at leaving the small family behind. Fili had told the younger brother for years about how wonderful it was to leave the school after a 'hard day's work' and sprint to the shop, finding Armis within with treats and snacks ready for them. Kili had at first bawled because he wouldn't be able to experience that, only to stifle his tears when Armis assured him Bofur knew their favorite sweets almost as well as she did. He started back up when he realized she was going away, and she might not be coming back.
I'm back baby!!! Sorry for the long wait, this one is a doozy, but y'all already know the gist! Have fun!!!
Kili's POV
Three days since we emerged from the Goblin tunnels, with barely anything to eat. Right now, we were camping in a hidden gully, and everyone was getting worried. Myrin and Bilbo had gone missing, and there was no sign of them. Right now, Balin was up top, keeping watch for Goblins, Wargs, Orcs, and anything that could kill us. None of us were seriously hurt, just a few bruises, maybe a cut, but we all were fine. Gandalf was leaning up against a tree, glaring at Thorin. Thorin had his head held in his hands, grumbling to himself, every now and then shaking his head. Then Gandalf stood up and shook his staff at Thorin.
"Why did you lose my hobbit," Gandalf snarled. Thorin stood up and glared back.
"Why did you bring him, he's been useless since he left the shire," He growled back. Gandalf took a step towards Thorin.
"I do not bring useless things, and he hasn't been useless! He saved you from the trolls, and might I remind you that he helped Myrin take care of you and Oin while we were staying in Bree?" Thorin growled and lowered his gaze. I glanced at Fili, who glanced at me and shrugged.
"What do you suggest we do then," Thorin growled.
"Return to the tunnels and look for your missing companions," Gandalf shouted like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and in a way it was.
"What about leaving nobody behind," I shouted. Thorin flinched and looked at me, a pained expression in his eyes.
"It's suicide going back in there," Dwalin growled back. "As much as I don't agree with the idea, we must venture on without Myrin or the hobbit."
"Why don't you agree, you hate them both," Fili snarled at Dwalin. Dwalin stood up and pointed at Fili.
"I don't hate them, I just don't trust them," He corrected. "There is a difference!"
"You wouldn't strike up a conversation with them, and I don't trust either one bit," Dori growled. As everyone started to yell, I had enough.
"STOP YELLING," I shouted. "This won't solve anything! Petty issues aside, preferences and dislikes aside, should we go back and find Myrin and Bilbo?"
"While you all are deciding, they could be getting mauled," Gandalf reminded.
"For all we know, they could be dead already," Bofur added. "Why risk our hides if they're already dead?"
"Because they deserve more," I shouted. "Think about it, you are running for your life, being chased by goblins and Durin knows what else down there, you're all alone, and you die. Wouldn't you want someone to find you and give you a proper burial?" As the company thought, the gully grew silent. "Bilbo did sign the contract, and it states that we would take care of his funeral if it happens," I added.
"I would hope that I won't need to have one," Bilbo said behind me. Oh, how he startled me. If he hadn't dodged, I would have run him through, and I didn't need a wizard against me! Everyone crowded around Bilbo, slapping his back and giving him brotherly hugs. Balin came down, absolutely puzzled at how the hobbit had gotten past him, but Bilbo wouldn't give him any answers. Thorin stayed back, he wasn't a hugger or anything of that sort.
"How did you get out of there," Dori asked. "There were guards and we heard Wargs on the way out!" Bilbo smirked and slid something into his pocket. Gandalf sniffed and leaned forward.
"What does it matter," THe wizard said. "He's back!" Thorin looked up and growled at the wizard.
"Something that does matter," Thorin snarled. He turned to Bilbo and his gaze softened from anger to confusion. "Why did you come back? Last I remember, you were going back to Rivendell." Bilbo shuffled his feet and looked around, a thoughtful look plastered on his face.
"Well, Thorin you are right, I miss my books, armchair, and not having to worry about whether or not I'll live another day, and because of that, I have been rather useless," Bilbo said. "I would like to go home, but then, I realized that you all don't have a home. Or maybe you have one, but it's just a house, not a home. That got me thinking, and I have decided to do anything within reason to help you get your home back." Bilbo's eyes landed on Thorin and pain crossed his face for a split second, I barely caught it.
"Did you see Myrin down there," I asked. Bilbo looked at me and opened his mouth. Then a howl split the air.
"Crap, how did they follow me," Bilbo shouted, looking behind him.
"This way, quickly," Gandalf shouted, running down, farther into the gully. I ran ahead of everyone, only to stop as I came to a large hill, covered with rocks. Fili ran into me, just about knocking me over the edge. Someone else ran into us, and then Bombur tumbled into us. The entire company tumbled down the rocky slopes, then it turned into an avalanche of little pebbles. We came to a stop at the bottom, my lower half was under the rocks, and I was almost certain that I had a few in my trousers and boots. Gandalf, who was the only one besides Bombur who had everything above ground, looked back up the slope and chuckled.
"I believe that will stump them for a while," He chuckled. Thorin pulled his foot out of the rubble and helped Fili out. When everyone was out of the rubble, we continued to run away from the Goblin tunnels, and away from the mountains. I looked over at Bilbo and felt my mouth open up.
"Stop, stop, The hobbit's injured," I shouted, pulling Bilbo to a stop.
"What," Gandalf, Thorin, and Bilbo shouted. I pointed to his shirt, which was covered in blood. Oin lifted the hobbit's shirt and grunted.
"It's not my blood," Bilbo shouted, pulling his shirt back down. He had been frowning two seconds ago, but now he was panicked.
"What hobbit," Oin asked.
"It's Myrin's-"
"Climb the trees," Balin shouted. Wargs burst into the clearing I stopped the company in. Everyone scrambled to the trees, swords and other various weapons drawn. Those who weren't climbing were fighting off the Wargs. Gandalf climbed the tree at the far end of the clearing, disappearing into the boughs. Dori reached down and pulled up the hobbit, who had his sword stuck in a Warg. Bilbo and sword came up as the rest of the Wargs sprinted into the clearing. They snapped at the lowest branches, tearing them off the trees and shaking them, the company, horribly. The Wargs circled the trees and sat under them so we couldn't escape. It was at times like these that I wished that I had my bow still. However, Gandalf came up with the next best thing, flaming pinecones of all different colors. He handed one to me and Fili, we snatched more off the tree, lit them up, and threw them at the Wargs. When it hit their pelt, it stuck and I felt a little sorry for the creatures as they went tearing back into the woods, howling. Then the Wargs got smart and started to dodge the pinecones. They hit the ground and started to burn the layers of pine needles and other things that lay on forest floors. Then Wargs with Orc riders came into the clearing. The Orcs were as fouler than the others that attacked us, not only in smell. They rode towards our trees staring into the boughs.
"Fifteen bird in five firtrees," One shouted. His voice sent chills down my back. Not only was he off-key, his voice sounded like knives on a chalkboard.
"Their feathers were fanned in a firey breeze," Another yelled, sing-songing too. "But, funny little birds, they had no wings! Oh, what shall we do with the funny little things? Roast 'em alive, or stew them in a pot; fry them, boil them, and eat them hot?" More Orcs had joined the first two by this point and were laughing at us.
"Fly away little birdies, while you still can," One shouted, his voice worse than the first.
"Go away, you naughty boys," Gandalf yelled. I couldn't help but be shocked! How could Gandalf not be afraid?! "Little boys who play with fire get punished," Gandalf added. The Orcs, as much as I wished they had, didn't mind Gandalf and continued to sing.
"Burn, burn tree and fern! Shrivel and scorch! A fizzling torch to light the night for our delight, Yo HEY!" At this point, I was quaking in my boots, they frightened me so!
"Bake and toast 'em, fry and roast 'em! Till beards blaze and eyes glaze, till hair smells and skin cracks, fat melts, and bones black, in cinders, lie beneath the sky! So the dwarves shall die and light the night for our delight! Ya hey, Ya harri hey, Ya HEY!" As their song finished, I was beyond terrified. Over twenty Orcs were around the trees, or just emerging from the tree line. One just coming into my view, however, looked just like an Orc that older children would describe to scare the younger dwarflings. Thorin lowered the branch in front of him and stared at the Orc. The Orc raised his head and sniffed the air. He turned to the rider next to him and said something in Orcish. They both smiled, sending chills down my back. Thorin lowered his head and growled at the two Orcs, shaking his head.
"It cannot be," He mumbled quietly. Azog said something more, and the Wargs launched at the base of the tree Bilbo and the Ri's were in. The tree started to fall over, it knocked into my tree and the company was forced to jump from tree to tree until we all were in the last tree. Wargs started to dig at its roots, and the tree lurched backward, over the edge of the cliff I hadn't noticed before. The tree was balanced on the edge of the cliff, almost horizontal, and we all were hanging from the boughs that didn't break when the tree landed. Thorin was on the trunk, the least dazed of us. He looked up at Azog, who was almost smiling back. It was a sight that I could never forget... Azog reached behind with his good hand and grabbed something that was on his saddle. The Pale Orc raised it high and glared at Thorin as a sack cut in half fell off whatever the orc was holding. I felt my eyes bug.
"MYRIN," Fili shouted. That's what Azog was holding, and I wanted to rip him a new one! Saying one thing, and doing another are two different things, I found out then. Terror and shock kept me frozen to my branch, where my feet were dangling over nothingness. Thorin looked back at Fili and I, determination crossed his face. He got to his feet and drew Orcrist. Azog smiled again and leaned forward on his Warg saddle, egging Thorin on. Thorin brought up his armguard and raced down the trunk. As he did so, Azog threw Myrin to the ground, she rolled near the cliff and stopped. I glanced back towards Thorin, fear pricked my heart again as I saw Azog bash Thorin's face with his four-bladed mace.
"THORIN," I yelled as he fell to the ground. I swung up onto my branch, only to have it snap under my weight. Fili grabbed my arm and heaved me up to the branch that was supporting him. We both turned back to the cliff, where Thorin was getting chewed on by the White Warg like a piece of meat. He yelled out and brought his sword down onto the Warg's muzzle. It yelped and threw him across the clearing. Thorin bounced on the rock and rolled to a stop, dazed. Azog pulled his jaw in and growled something to the other Orc. That Orc snarled/smiled and slid off the Warg, sword drawn. It crept over to Thorin and put his sword at his neck. He raised it up and Bilbo tumbled into the Orc, stabbed it a few times, and stood between Thorin and Azog. Thorin's head jerked as he slipped into unconsciousness. Azog growled and rode his Warg towards Thorin, but Bilbo wouldn't have any of it. He swung his sword a few times, and that was enough to make Azog hesitate. Fili and I took that chance to get up off the branch and attack the Orcs. Dwalin, Gloin, and Balin were with us in attacking. We slashed and hacked at the Wargs and Orcs, and then something grabbed my shoulders and lifted me into the air. I looked up and saw Lakita. Then she dropped me and I yelled. I landed on the back of a giant eagle, Fili landed seconds later. The eagle circled the blazing clearing for a while as others picked up the rest of the company. Lakita scooped up Myrin and flew away, the eagles seeming to fly another way. We flew away from the clearing, and Azog's howl of furry pierced the night.
"Thorin," Fili shouted a while later. The sun was just coming over the horizon, and we could barely see our uncle. He was in bad shape, and if it wasn't for the eagle's hold on him, well..... I'm not going to think about it. A few minutes later, we came to a bear-shaped rock and that's what the eagle set Thorin down on. Gandalf was next and he raced to Thorin. Fili and mine eagle landed and we scrambled off, racing over to Thorin. He took a shuddering breath and his eyes flung open.
"The half-ling," He mumbled. Gandalf sighed and leaned on his staff, getting up.
"It's alright, Bilbo is here, he's quite safe," He mumbled back. Thorin started to get up, so Dwalin and I helped him to his feet. He shoved us off rather rudely. Thorin glared at Bilbo, who was noticing the anger on Thorin's face.
"You," Thorin growled at the hobbit. "What were you doing, you nearly got killed!" Thorin took a few steps forward, still glaring at Bilbo. "Did I not say you would be a burden," He asked. "That you would not survive in the wild?! That you had no place among us?!" If Thorin kicked Bilbo off the rock, I would never forgive him! Thorin's gaze softened and he walked towards Bilbo. "I have never been so wrong in my life," He said, embracing the startled hobbit. I was beyond startled, and so was Fili. Thorin never hugged, unless you get lost for a few days..... Fili leaned on my shoulder and sighed.
"I thought he was going to kill him," Fili mumbled. I leaned over.
"So did I," I agreed. Thorin let go of the hobbit and looked him square in the face.
"I am sorry that I doubted you," Thorin said. Bilbo held up his hand and looked around as if the rock we stood on would give him words.
"No, I would have doubted me too," Bilbo said. "I'm not a hero or a warrior..." Bilbo looked up at Gandalf. "I'm not even a burglar." Everyone chuckled. The eagles screeched and returned to the west, back towards the mountains. Thorin looked beyond the hobbit and the smile on his face disappeared. Bilbo noticed and turned around.
"Is that what I think it is," He asked. Thorin didn't answer, he just walked beyond Bilbo, an even brighter smile starting to show on his face. I wondered what he was looking at, so I walked towards him, then I spotted it.
"Erebor," Gandalf said. Bilbo looked back at him, surprised. "The Lonely Mountain. The last of the great Dwarf Kingdoms of Middle Earth."
"Our home," Thorin added quietly. I looked at Fili and smiled, looping an arm around his shoulders. A bird twittered past and Oin pointed it out.
"A raven, the birds are returning to the Mountain," He shouted, holding up his flattened trumpet. Gandalf looked at the bird and shook his head slightly.
"That my dear Oin, is a thrush," Gandalf corrected. Thorin heard it twitter and the smile brightened. I could almost see the gears in his head working.
"But we'll take it as a sign, a good omen," He said softly. Bilbo and he shared a look and the hobbit nodded.
"I do believe that the worst is behind us," Bilbo said. I found myself nodding, agreeing to the hobbit's words.
"We can't stay up here all day," Thorin said loudly, turning around. He took a step forward and winced, but he continued. Dwalin stepped up and supported Thorin until we got to the stairs. Then Thorin leaned on the rock and made his way down.
About an hour later, we were almost down to the ground. Thorin was getting worse, now he was panting with every other step, but he wouldn't accept help from anyone. The injuries that I could see were numerous. He had a nasty cut above his left eye, his nose had another, his arm was held against his ribs, where I was sure a few were broken, and he was limping on his right foot. But he walked with a certain air around him that said he was on a mission, and nothing would stop it. That and the smile had brightened tenfold, I think he was doing great, despite his panting and limping. We came around the last corner and Thorin stopped. I could barely see him around the corner. Everyone else hesitated, then ran forward. Screeching came and I sprinted around the corner. Lakita was backed up against a spire of rock, wings raised offensively and trilling angrily. I ran towards her head and started to pet it. She lowered her wings and trilled at me as Fili went to the saddle and checked on Myrin, who somehow got on Lakita's back.
"Shhhh," I told Lakita as I rubbed her head. "Anything Fili," I asked, peeking around the griffon's head. Lakita trilled again as Fili pried off his glove and licked his finger. "Fee..." He looked back at me, tears in his eyes. Tears welled in my own and I raced to the saddle where Myrin was laid across. "No, she's alright, you just didn't check hard enough," I screamed as I reached for her. Fili grabbed my arms and held them at my sides. "NO, SHE ISN'T DEAD," I screamed. Fili held me tighter as I struggled against him. Tears fell off my face, she couldn't be dead! Fili lowered to the ground and turned me around, I buried my face into his shoulder, still sobbing. Then I remembered something. I turned towards Bilbo and looked him in the eye.
"Why is Myrin's blood on your shirt," I snarled at him. Bilbo looked up from staring at his feet and looked me in the eye.
"We ran into each other," Bilbo said. Anger started to boil.
"And you two didn't stay together," Dwalin asked. Bilbo nodded with a gulp. "Why would you two of stayed separate, there's strength in numbers!"
"She was leading away some Wargs," Bilbo said. "If I had known that she was going to get killed, or that she was injured, I would have gone with!"
"You sent her to her doom," I snarled at him. Bilbo looked at me, shocked. "She was injured and you knew it, yet you still let her go!"
"Kili, hold your tongue," Gloin shouted.
"NO! This hobbit has betrayed Myrin, and I refuse to travel any longer with him!"
"Kee, Bilbo didn't betray anyone," Fili said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "He just said he didn't know...." I stared at him, was he really doing this?! "You've had a stressful day, probably need some sleep-"
"I'm just fine," I shouted, wrenching my shoulder out of his grip. Before anyone could say anything, I ran into the woods to clear my head.
A few hours later, I was in a different clearing, and I was hearing sobbing, but it wasn't my own. Curious, and needing something to get my mind off of Myrin, I got up and crept towards the sobbing. I stopped just out of sight of a form hunched over, leaning up on a tree. I couldn't see his face, but I knew who the owner of Orcrist was.
"Kili," Bilbo called, stumbling into the clearing. Thorin's head shot up and looked at the hobbit. I backed farther into the bushes. "Oh, Thorin..... Sorry, but have you seen Kili?"
"No," Thorin croaked. He cleared his throat and looked up at the hobbit again. "I haven't seen him, did he run off or something?" Bilbo walked towards Thorin, rubbing his head.
"Yeah, he thinks I killed Myrin." Oh, right...... I kind of forgot about that........... Note to self, when Bilbo is alone, apologize to him. Apologizing in front of a crowd is very embarrassing.
"What," Thorin shouted.
"Myrin and I met each other in the tunnels, and she was injured at the time with Wargs on her tail. She told me to take one path, while she took another, and to not look back no matter what I heard. Her left shoulder touched my chest, and some blood got on-"
"That hair-brained idiot," Thorin mumbled. Bilbo stopped explaining and looked Thorin square in the eye.
"You talking about Myrin, me, or Kili?"
"Myrin," Thorin growled. He mumbled something quietly, I didn't hear what he said exactly. A tense and awkward silence followed.
"Did she have any family," Bilbo asked.
"No, just friends she thought family," Thorin said wistfully.
"What were you doing out here," Bilbo asked.
"Thinking, mourning, regretting, hurting-"
"Myrin's going to come back and kill you," Bilbo shouted. Thorin jumped. I must say that I did too, I hadn't heard that much reprimanding in the hobbit's voice. "You're injured, and here you are sitting in the dirt, getting mushroom spores and other things into those wounds! Back to camp, this second!" Bilbo was up and wagging a finger at Thorin. "Besides, when Fili and I went to search for that dim-wit, they were preparing Myrin's body. It would be an insult to miss her funeral."
"Now she's going to come back and kill you," Thorin chuckled. "Nobody can get away with calling Kili a dim-wit." Thorin looked around and frowned. He stumbled to his feet and stumbled back to camp.
"I know you're there Kili," Bilbo said, looking right at me. I stood up and walked out of the bushes.
"Bilbo, look I'm sorry about-" Bilbo held up his hand.
"Apology accepted Kili," Bilbo said.
We all were at the camp, crowded around a rock bed that everyone had made to rest Myrin's body on.
"I don't know about Dwarven traditions, but in the Shire, when a lady dies, those who knew her best would say something," Bilbo had said when Nori suggested that we just put her in the river, a true traveler's burial. Normally, we would put the dwarf in the ground, and then bury the coffin with molten gold. Seeing as we were short on gold, and shovels, we went with the Shire tradition. All eyes went to Thorin, he knew her best, even better than Fili and I, even though she had raised us. I turned my gaze to Thorin, tears welling in my eyes and blurring my vision.
"She deserved more than this," Thorin started. His face was still covered in blood, and you could see that he had been crying, thanks to the little clear spots running down his face. "Myrin deserved more than to be murdered by an Orc... She deserved more than to have her family killed... Myrin has been my friend since she was very small, and couldn't ask for a better friend, confident, or a warrior...... Fate has never been kind to her, not even in death. I had hoped she would have died in some lucky dwarrow's embrace, surrounded by her friends and family... At least now she will be...." Thorin nodded and Dori moved to pick her up, but Dwalin held up his hand.
"Might I say something," He asked. Thorin nodded again. "Like you said, you couldn't ask for a better confidence. There are so many things that I regret saying to her, and many more things I wanted to thank her for. Up until a few years ago, I wouldn't even think about her without getting a snarl, BALROG, I couldn't even talk to her without insulting her in some way or another. I know it's too late to get her apology, but I hope she can still hear me." Dwalin turned to Myrin's ashen face and folded his arms. "Myrin Flamebird, I am sorry for everything, for doubting you, but mostly for creating most of the chaos that affected you in Ered Luin."
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