michael anon here, helen and/or gerry
Michael and Helen headcanons let's go! (i love thinking about their coexistence i wish it was canon)
They insult each other's choice of corridor decoration constantly but the insults don't make particularly much sense to anyone else? Eg: "Your wallpaper is too plain to be perplexing," or "that only has enough intricacy as a rat king's tails".
They're competitive as heck though not in anything related to the Spiral. They instead spend their time playing a deck of Uno No Mercy that Helen stole against each other (or themselves? however the Distortion works.) They keep a score chart scratched into a random wall.
Since they're two parts of the Distortion, they don't both have to feed, which leads to them basically calling dibs on certain victims as well as basically the fear entity version of "I cooked last night, it's your turn!"
They're siblings your honor. This is unquestionable.
Michael occasionally pretends to be Helen which goes about as well as you'd expect, which is to say highly inaccurate and portraying Helen as far more annoying than she is. Michael is not aware of this.
Helen does an impression of Michael to get back at him. It's scarily accurate. She is aware of this.
Sometimes Michael will hear someone outside say something interesting and scream it at Helen the next time it sees her, not really sure what it means. Obviously, she screams it back and they start chanting it through the corridors. They're little shits I love them.
Michael yaps about all of the interesting and frustrating humans he's met recently, Helen empathizes with how many weirdos there were when Helen Richardson worked in real estate.
Michael messes up all of Helen's stuff by putting weird-ass stickers on it. Helen somehow makes the backs of the stickers unsticky and sprinkles them all over Michael's side of the floor.
Thanks for the request and I'm sorry it took me a while!