Maekar was a good dad and I will die on that hill
Please do not be that person who can't read. Maekar was not the perfect father. He was not the best father. But he was a good dad. Let's dissect all the children, one by one. But first: let's talk about mental illness.
I think one of the biggest issues I have with the fandom (not necessarily my part of the fandom because my readers have always tended to skew on the older side) but the younger fandom is this inability to disconnect modern sensibilities with the past.
Like I don't think it's realistic to apply modern world standards of mental illness to that of the old world. Most of our superstitions are likely deprieved from mental illness (for example, “a fairy will come in and take your child and replace it with a changeling” - the child was probably suffering from mental illness, or “if you acknowledge a ghost, it will haunt you until you died” uh yeah those are hallucinations and by enforcing this superstituion, it keeps people from talking about it). I actually did a paper when I was in undergrad regarding how a region’s folklore is more representative of their culture than historical texts but I digress.
In the past, it was completely normal for a kid with mental illness to be shoved away and never spoken to and treated like a ghost.
And we see that. In the series. Literally, Prince Rhaegal loses his seat at Summerhall because, according to Daeron "oh he wasn't meant for court life" but in reality, he probably had a mental illness and was shoved away. We see this with Prince Daeron III and Kiera's daughter where she's deemed "simple" and pushed aside.
Maekar does not do that with any of his children. He never fucking gives up on a single one of them.
Daeron Tagaryen. Daeron clearly is suffering from dragon dreams. Aemon Targaryen, in a ASOIAF, notes that all three of his brothers had these dreams, but Daeron is likely a bonafide dragon dreamer. He self-medicates with alcohol and sex, and is clearly suffering. Now, if we're keeping things medieval compliant. Maekar at the time, has two options to "treat him": lock him away or let maesters do their experiments (and those experiments were fucking terrible) people have died in those treatments. He chooses neither, and instead is put in a rock and hard place. If he doesn't push his son, force him to tourneys, present in court, Daeron is literally going to drink himself to death in a brothel (which he eventually does once Maekar falls into depression after losing Baelor), but if he lets Daeron continue to do what he does, he's essentially enabling him. He's kind of shit out of luck. But even in the series, he's deadset on changing Daeron because he refuses to give up on him (listen the die trying line is just him being dramatic, let's be honest.
**In the modern times, I think Maekar would have an easier time with Daeron. he would still be the type to insist "there's nothing wrong with my boy" but he would be able to send him to rehab, be able to get him proper mental health services, etc. Daeron's greatest misfortune is not having a loving father, but not having the resources to help him. However, this is not a guarantee. Mind you a lot of my clients have mental illness and addiction, so I often end up dealing with their parents. and yes, some of them are shit, but some are loving parents. you can love your child to the ends of the Earth, but unfortunately, that is not enough sometimes.
Aerion Targaryen. Now, Aerion is an interesting character and I think more than anything, he actually shows the nuance of Maekar's parenting. First of all, I think Aerion's madness is overexaggerated by the fandom because of how he died. Often times, we forget, Aerion was drunk when he drank the wildfire. Like I highly doubt he would've done that sober, or at least, I think he had another ten years of escalating mental illness before he reached that point.
Aerion also suffered from dragon dreams. although not to the extent of Daeron. So there is mental illness involved here, but also that Aerion grew up on Targaryen supremacy ideals. He grew up with these delusions, and while not confirmed, there are clues in the text that Maekar did also raise him on these "we're the best" beliefs. Baelor even mentions that Maekar would have agreed with Aerion regarding the play. However, whereas Aerion sought to attack Tanselle, I feel like Maekar would have just bitched about it, and at worst, demanded they get flogged or something. But the point being, they're very similar, and Maekar, because of Daeron's failures, put a lot of hopes and dreams onto Aerion. And Aerion, as noted in the books, was all "smiles" when Maekar was around. I think it says something that he doesn't pretend around Baelor, the heir to the throne and the future king, which you think he would if it were all about preserving reputation. He only pretends around Maekar. Everyone knows Aerion is a monster. So why does he only pretend around Maekar? because it’s not about preserving his reputation; it’s about preserving his father’s love.
Point being: you can't cure what you don't know to be sick. I do think Maekar spoiled Aerion, but he did also, like a lot of good parents, made sure Aerion lived up to his potential. Aerion was a good warrior. He, besides his "montrous behavior" presented well to his family. And when Aerion's true colors were revealed, Maekar immediately sent him away to punish him. Now the Blackfyres had a lot of support in the free cities, but when the Blackfyre Rebellion happened, Aerion didn't stray. He actually cared about his family and lineage enough to fight by his family's side. He fought by Aegon's side. This kid was not a total fuck up.
Aemon Targaryen. This is actually one of the reasons I am dying on the hill that Maekar was a good father and it is honest funny lore wise. When Daeron sends Aemon away, Maekar fights with the king to keep him. I can honestly imagine guards having to hold him back and Maekar going to Summerhall and never speaking to his father again for this. Then, the first thing Maekar did when he became king was bring his sons back to court and try to put Aemon on the old Council...while the previous maester was still alive. Aemon, a total sweetheart that he is, actually elects to go to Dragonstone so the man doesn't lose his job. Like Maekar was literally going to say, "fuck you all, I want my son." Maekar loved him so much. I think this is shown when Aemon Targaryen, in his old age, has nothing but care for his father. Now, he was sent to the citadel at the age of 9, and had spent ten years there, so arguably, Maekar didn't spend too much time with him, Egg can visit him in Oldtown (in the books), I just know Maekar was making yearly trips to make sure his little boy was taken care of. I'm not sure, but I think eventually he does go back to King's Landing because Aegon's children know him and Aemon talks about seeing Maekar to his final days. My theory is that maybe in the end, Aemon spent his final days caring for his dad.
Aegon Targaryen. I actually want to keep this short, because there's too much to say (I might make a longer post on this relationship). Aegon fucking adores his father. He is constantly defending him in the books. He loves him so much. I highly doubt this would be a thing if Maekar were a terrible father. In the books, he agrees to let Aegon travel with Dunk because it's what he wants, but in the tv series, despite the mess, he agrees to let Dunk come to Summerhall so his son can squire for him. Like that must have hurt either way. But there's one thing I don't think people talk enough about.
Aegon was a squire for Daeron, not Aerion. Now, this is a complex situation, and this is both an argument that he was a bad one and a good one. Now, we know Aegon wants to be a knight, and I think Maekar is so family oriented he wants him to squire for someone in the family whom he trusts (while it's not confirmed, I 100% believe Maekar squired for Baelor). His options are: Daeron, Valarr, Aerion. Hands down, the best option is Valarr. He should've squired for Valarr. Instead, Maekar chooses Daeron. Now, this is interesting, because there are many reasons why he didn't choose Valarr. Like a ton of reasons (too far, embarrassment, jealousy, maybe Valarr already had Matarys as his squire, etc.)
But why didn't Maekar choose Aerion? Aerion is the superior fighter. Aeiron is the superior knight. Aerion, on the surface, pretended to be a good son.
Because Maekar knows Aegon hates Aerion. Now, whether or not he believed Aerion hurt Aegon's cat or tried to cut off his cock, is irrelevant (I think he put it aside--which is one point to the Maekar is a bad dad theory) because at the end of the Maekar was not going to force Aegon to spend time squiring for someone he hated. He chooses Daeron because at least, it's someone he trusts (enough) and someone Aegon could tolerate.
Daella Targaryen and Rhae Targaryen. Maekar's daughters. We get no information on these girls besides the love potion fiasco which again happened when they were kids, so I don't put much stock into it. They were able to have children. I see no reason to assume they were good or bad parents, but at least we know he didn't use them as political pawns. And Aemon remembers hearing them singing to him and their children, so I like to think they remained in King's Landing to stay close to their family.
But yeah, those are some of my thoughts. Farewell.
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