Faded Echoes

[the-silent-voices]

how can i miss someone who is in the same room? how can i feel lonely when you sit beside me? how can there be such a distance between us when i could simply reach out and touch you? i look at you and my heart tightens. time is already counting down — so much of it, and yet so little. i fear the day when you will be gone. when i won’t hear your laughter, won’t see your smile, won’t catch your familiar scent. i know you will be fine. i know i will become just a memory. but you— you will remain a part of my soul forever. i wish you as much joy as the pain i carry. as much happiness as the tears i have cried. i mean it. from the deepest place in my heart i wish you only the best.

[the-silent-voices]

i’m mentally preparing to leave. maybe i’ve given up. maybe i’m just trying to save myself. i carry conversations with you inside my mind, quietly hoping my absence might sting just a little bit. i imagine how it would be. what you would say. not because i want to hurt you. not because i want you to stop me. i struggle. i search for the right words — how to say it, how to hint at it, or whether i should say anything at all. if i’m really honest, i’m afraid you won’t feel anything at all. and i’ll finally understand how little i meant to you. i am someone who hasn’t yet learned how to stay silent where i have already said enough. and in the cemetery of my dreams, another stone will be placed.

[the-silent-voices]

again and again i gather flowers of hope and throw them off each time swearing this is the last time. i remind myself this was never meant for me. love is for others. always for others. not for me. they told me: go. look. search. so i did. among dozens of voices, yours caught my attention. gentle. lively. full of dreams. you made me feel like i could lift from the ground and fly. once, you joked that i was made up. and i hoped i was made up for you. you appeared in my life like a bright star, shining upon the dark places in my soul — the ones even my thoughts avoided. but as quickly as you came, you disappeared. now the voices scream that they warned me. that this is all i deserve. my heart only sighs, quietly, inside my chest. i believed a fragile thread formed between us. poor little fool. yet my soul keeps believing anyway. you became a small bird i cannot catch. i won’t try anymore. i will let it fly where it wants to be. i wish you a safe flight, my dear. maybe some other bird will come my way.

[the-silent-voices]

the sad truth is this: you are not unlovable. you are not inadequate. you simply chose the wrong recipient. that’s all. the love you carry is beautiful — you just kept giving it to people who were never yours. and your mind turned it into: “maybe i’m the problem.” no. a person loves with the heart, not the mind. and hearts don’t know maps. it’s not even their fault — love is a gift. but not every gift is received the way we wish it would be. it is what it is yes, it’s hard no, it’s not easy to accept but it simply is

[the-silent-voices]

i don’t want to be this way falling apart again and again as it gets dark all i want is to be in your arms there’s nothing i could do or say to keep you from leaving i try not to cry try to tell myself stupid lies like i’m no good for you you’re not right for me you can call me a friend but please keep me close i will always be there i give a smile fake pretend i’m okay even when it feels like dying i’ve learned to lose but my heart keeps bleeding keeps wishing for victory there’s nothing you could do or say to change the way i love you i don’t want to but i do

[the-silent-voices]

it’s strange i often think about you — what you’re doing, whether you’re okay, if you need anything, if there’s some way i could help. my whole being tunes itself to you whenever you’re near. when you say something funny, you often glance straight at me, and i see how pleased you are when i laugh with you. every time my spirit sinks, you’re the one who knows how to lift me so quickly, so effortlessly. i long for you — i do. for your presence, your touch, for the closeness we slip into without trying — and yet when your eyes meet mine, my heart stays quiet — and i feel hollow. even when you praise me, i don’t believe your words, i feel only familiar sadness. maybe this isn’t love at all, maybe it’s just the ache of wanting to be wanted. maybe i’m trying too hard to matter to you. my soul is tired of chasing faint echoes of your affection. but i don’t know how to stop.

[the-silent-voices]

i know you’re probably not the one i need. i know you’re probably not the one my soul truly longs for.

but you’re the one my heart keeps calling for — the one i ache to hold.

maybe you’re my karmic love, sent to teach me, to test me. maybe we’re both lessons in each other’s story. maybe i’ll be the one who fails, maybe you will. maybe we both already have, in different ways.

but your happiness feels like my fulfillment. your smile, my quiet reward.

i love you even if it makes no sense. i call your name into the emptiness.

it's late for me, my love Please, stay

[the-silent-voices]

i know i love him and he likes my attention— smiling, laughing, the way i light up, the way i fold into the cracks of his amusement. but sometimes i forget that my heart is not invincible. i love to make him happy, i love the warmth in his smile, the way he winks, like he’s sharing a secret with me. yet some days, i wonder if he even notices me— the real me. i want to be more than just a soul lingering nearby. i want him to see me, to catch the things i don’t say, the things i bury beneath my attempts to shine. sometimes, i want him to see the trembling, to feel the weight, and just be there. i know he likes my attention, and i like giving it, but my heart wants more than acknowledgment— it wants to be held, to be cherished. i love him, yes, but i also need to be seen.

[the-silent-voices]

when i’m away from you something in me changes. when i’m with you i’m blinded by your presence. i feel your moods, your words, your being. and even if it hurts to admit — and even though i’ve said it before — i really feel that to you it doesn’t matter whether i’m there or not. i want to avoid you, not to check if you miss me, but to teach myself to stop wanting you. to stop loving someone for whom i’m only a pleasant distraction — to quiet that feeling, to give this love, this attention, to someone who wants it, who will truly receive it. i have so much love, and i don’t know who to give it to. i’m looking for someone who, in this world, is looking for something real. where are you?

[the-silent-voices]

my heart longs for you, screams even, though it knows there’s no love in the end, that some things simply won’t happen. foolish hope. wild belief. there’s something about you familiar, comforting— and i cling to it as if it could give me everything. it feels like home, like true connection. i try to stay rational, to keep my mind clear, and yet i know i’m chasing an illusion. and still… i can’t stop. or maybe i don’t want to. you are like a drug. i get high with you, and without you i feel hopeless and empty. i desire you even knowing it will never be the love i want. and even in this pain there is something beautiful— an intensity that makes me feel alive, even while vulnerable. i hate it, and i love it— all at once.

[the-silent-voices]

you still live in my head, in my thoughts. maybe it’s not even you anymore— just the idea of you. loving, but imagined. i miss you. my soul shines with you, like colored glass in the sunlight— shattered, but beautiful in its own way. be happy. oh gods, please let him be happy. my dearest, though i wish you could love me too, more than anything i wish for you to be happy. i love you— for both of us. and maybe, someday, someone will love me the same way. maybe. but for now— be happy. okay? for both of us.

[the-silent-voices]

there are days when i miss you less, and days when i miss you more. and today— today i miss you most. you don’t even know how deeply i love you. i love you with the very core of my soul. i don’t mind that it isn’t returned. it’s a feeling both beautiful and crushing. and yet— though i’m glad you never truly see it, sometimes i wish you could. just for a moment. just so you’d know how much. the depth of my longing, the emptiness in my soul when you’re not near. you remain ever-present in every thought i have.

[the-silent-voices]

I wish I could hug you every time you feel like no one is there for you. Every time the world feels too heavy, every time the silence in your room feels louder than your own heartbeat. I may not always be beside you, but my heart is always with you. I wish I could take away all the nights you’ve cried quietly into your pillow, all the mornings you’ve woken up pretending you were okay. I wish I could remind you that surviving is also a form of courage, and that every piece of you that kept going despite the weight— is proof of your strength. One day, the heaviness will lift. One day, your laughter will return like sunlight breaking through a long winter. Until then… close your eyes, and feel me there in spirit, holding the pieces you can’t carry alone.

— source unknown

[the-silent-voices]

i want to be someone to you, i’m in love with you, and to you it doesn’t matter whether i’m there or not. melancholy sits in my soul— the joy you bring, the lightness i feel, slowly shifts into quiet sorrow. why you? why not me? why at all? why can’t we love only those who love us back? i will rise, i will move on, with a smile. but right now, i am sad.

[the-silent-voices]

yesterday, i went to see you you never called me but still, i was there. i thought for so long whether to go or not, hesitated for hours if it was a good idea. in the end i told myself: go. you’ll regret it if you don’t. i wanted to see you in your own element, and with a quiet smile, i did. i wonder, did you notice me? i wonder, why does it matter? i wonder, why was i so afraid? before we could really meet, i left— with a smile.

[the-silent-voices]

do i miss you? or do i miss the way you made me feel? do i miss your presence, or am i just used to you being near? now the quiet without you feels too loud it’s only been a few days since i last saw you — no contact, just like you want it, and few more days and you’ll be back, but even these days feel longer than they are. i look at the chair you used to fill next to me. now, someone else sits there. i don’t search for you in the crowd — i know i won’t find you. and yet, a shiver runs through me when some a stranger almost looks like you. i like who i am when i’m with you. my soul feels lighter. i love watching your face, the way it shifts with every thought, how your smile becomes mine. how even your tired, quiet moments reach me somehow. i try my best not to get too attached. what’s the point? and yet, you’re in my thoughts every single day.

[the-silent-voices]

sometimes i wonder who i want to be — not in terms of a job, but in life. life is fragile, unpredictable. sometimes dull, empty. other times too full, too loud. life keeps teaching me that not everything will go my way. i won’t always get what i want just because i want it. i won’t receive things just because i “deserve” them. i can’t control everything — and honestly, i don’t want to. what i do want is to be a warm memory: to make people laugh, to bring a little joy, to give something good of myself. i want to know how to create safety, to soften fear, ease stress, quiet inner pain. i want to be someone you can rely on, someone who helps, who listens. to be kind, to be steady, to be a moment of calm in someone else’s storm. i want to be a home — the kind you want to come back to.