The Almighty Beak

Engineering, cosplay, and bird masks. What could go wrong?

[pinstripehourglass]

new yorker cartoon

[pinstripehourglass]

[pinstripehourglass]

[swagophile]

"when all you have a hammer every problem starts to look like a nail" is such a stupid fucking saying. like what are you saying. every problem IS a nail. it's all nails. what the fuck do you think the hammer is for????

[arachnopus]

have you tried putting down the hammer and thinking about this again

[swagophile]

what kind of suggestion is that? i have a hammer! i'm gonna use the hammer! its rsally effective on nails of course im gonna keep using the hammer. what a silly silly suggestion

[wetsaltinesworld]

dorohedoro side characters are always like ‘my name is ham and cheese sandwich and everybody in the whole world has hated me since the day i was born’ and their design looks like 3-day-old roadkill wearing a gas mask and 4 belts and a feather boa and brand new nikes. and theyre awesome.

[prokopetz]

Speaking of player-hostile design, are you familiar at all with the Cursed Halo mod? FPS games don't seem to be your normal wheelhouse but it's a fascinating example of playing around with the kind of player-hostile decisions you've talked about before

I'll probably never play it, but the promotional video for the expanded Steam Workshop version is one of the funniest trailers I've ever seen:

[clansocreations]

the fuck did I just watch

[prokopetz]

I think it's pretty self-explanatory.

[prokopetz]

@moonlightcrazyphoenix replied:

There are several things with rng effects, one of which is a giant naked Thanos, with his giant purple dick out. This of course gets your stream instantly demonetized, which definitely lends a certain amount of fear to using the rng frag grenade

I believe the dev eventually caved on that one and added a setting you can toggle to censor Thanos' giant purple cock. The censor bar is shaped like a Twitch logo.

[space-wizards]

Can confirm

[helicalsymmetry]

cute diy video where the fuck is your respirator

[crowns-of-violets-and-roses]

It’s a shame that walkable cities will require tracking cars that enter city limits and exploding them with a bazooka but policy requires trade-offs

[baldingfemale]

In my early-twenties I was addicted to photoshopping my nudes into Hieronymus Bosch paintings, though there came a point when the cohesiveness of the end products began to offend me

[odoes]

Deep Space Nine promotional ICEE machine cards, 1993

[maxknightley]

getting a cardassian coke at the Space 7-11 and everybody looks at me like I just ordered a black and tan in an irish pub

[photogdenography]

A Good Stretch

Brown Pelican - Point La Jolla, CA

[photogdenography]

The Reviews Are In

[eradacted]

It may not be that deep, but I have a shovel and I will make it as deep as I want.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

High key what House of Leaves is meta about

[eradacted]

I know not what House of Leaves is but I wholeheartedly trust your comparison and I shall take it as fact!

[asteroidtroglodyte]

House of Leaves is a book about a man trying to explore the inside of his new home, which proves substantially more difficult than should be possible, due to its non-Euclidean dimensions.

Except that House of Leaves is actually about a documentary about a man trying to explore the inside of his new home, which proves impossible to document properly, due to its non-Euclidean dimensions.

Except that House of Leaves is actually about an academic paper, which itself is about an alleged documentary about an alleged non-Euclidean home, but none of this can be verified.

Except that House of Leaves is just, like, this fucking stack of papers I found in this old dead guy’s apartment, and, like, I don’t even know if its his or what because like both his eyes were gone and he didn’t have any degrees or anything. I tried asking my friend from the tattoo shop about it but she was fixing up this thumper tattoo right above a girl’s pussy the whole time we were talking; like Thumper from Bambi, and I’m not gonna lie man I was pretty distracted and I just couldn’t [XXXXS XXXX XXXX. XXXX XXXX XXX X XXX XX XXXXXXX XXXXXX XX XXXX XX XXXXXX XXXX XXX]^*

———

* Editor’s Note: House of Leaves is a metatextual examination of the ability for a minor inconsistency in measurement, which might have been ignored by a normal person, to cause an all-consuming obsession spiral in the sort of person who is academically trained, obsessed with documentation, or overtly pedantic, and-

“Johnny, please, I’m your Mother; I know I have a lot to apologize for but I can’t, not unless you return my letters; are you even getting my letters? I send one every week you know, but I think that nurse keeps them from you, keeps you from getting my letters, because I know, I know my sweet Johnny would never leave his poor old mother rotting away by herself in this horrible drafty ward if he was getting his mother’s letters, would you, sweet boy? I know she’s stealing my letters from you, she’s always touching my things, even though they haven’t moved I know she’s touching them I know she keeps you from me I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know [there’s a limit to what you can know. Some folks bump up against that limit and bounce right off and keep swimming, and some folks, well. Some folks SPLAT]I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know [they just gotta keep digging away at it. Even when it’s not that deep, they just… grab a shovel and keep digging. Lord knows what motivates them. A kind of Madness I suppose. Some folks find GOD in that madness. Not much of a believer myself]I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know

I know

I know

I know

I know

I know

I know you’ll visit me for Mother’s Day, won’t you?

🧿

*Editor’s Note: he did not

[certified-linguistics-moment]

[catboybiologist]

Imagine if a like 8 foot tall guy that looked kinda like an alien species just kinda showed up at the house you rent a room in and crashed on the couch and at first everyone hated him but you kinda just accepted this weird massive kinda-human alien species thing as a part of your group even though he's like twice the size of everyone else there

[catboybiologist]

Cuz that's literally happening to sea lions in San Francisco right now

[catboybiologist]

So there's two species of sea lion in North America: the California sea lion, ranging along California (including Baja) but not ranging into the north coast or into oregon

And the Stellar's sea lion, which are WAY bigger and live in Washington, British Columbia, and Alaska

A male Stellars sea lion showed up in SF like a month ago and just kinda. Didn't know what to do, and joined a colony of California sea lions, and is just kinda chilling there now.

[catboybiologist]

Weird vagrant species happen from time to time, but this is just a particularly funny instance of a highly social species getting very lost, and just trying to blend in with its closest nearby relatives

[sea-salted-wolverine]

From a personality perspective, this has to be fucking hilarious. Stellar sea lions are generally very, very chill. With humans in the water they are playful and inquisitive and have a ridiculous baseline friendliness simply because they are so large that nothing can fuck with them. They are sitting up at the top of the food chain, and there's not a lot of competition from other species. (Orcas nonwithstanding, but if an orca decides to fuck with you, it's just your day)

California sea lions on the other hand, tend to be much more skittish and hostile to anything that comes near them. Because they are much smaller there is a lot more that can threaten them. Not to mention, there are great whites down there and sharks generally considered normal size. Alaska may have some transient weirdos now and then, but for the most part, what we have is salmon sharks, which are a pint sized version.

So our buddy Stellar here, has gone south to the land of warm waters and neurotic elves. The little guys on the other hand are looking at this big guy thinking 'yeah of course he's easy going, he ate all his problems'.

[dragoncarrion]

????

[dragoncarrion]

They're taking over.

[vamp1rate]

sometimes i really love inaturalist

[sideiest-blog-around]

Oh this is great

[astra-the-dragon]

more highlights:

[Steller's Jay, Cyanocitta stelleri, USA]

[Knight Anole, Anolis equestris, USA]

[yet-to-be-identified fly, Phaoniinae, England]

[Northern Flicker, Colaptes auratus, USA]

you, too, can contribute to the project! :3

[cosmonautroger]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[drtanner]

Baby fucking SCARPERING the instant mama looks away, lmao.

[radwolf76]

[tsarina-anadyomene]

Why do we need astronauts to view the Moon when we have robotic observers? It's sick as fuck. Come on man. It's awesome. Seething, aren't you? Seething that you're down on Earth looking up at the moon while our astronauts are eyeballing it from our sick rocket ship. Well guess what little man: seethe harder. We're going to spend more of your tax dollars toward sending our guys around the moon and it's going to be awesome every time. There's nothing you can do about it. Fuck you.

[hellenhighwater]

Look if there is absolutely nothing else you take away from the nonsense I am posting, it's this: Make Art.

Make art, with whatever you have. Use scrap cardboard and tape and build something; doodle in your notebooks, make a beautiful dinner, grow a plant, write, paint your nails. Learn to whittle, to knit, to cut straight lines, to sew, to cook, to run at a problem and not solve it the first time. Learn to try again.

Make things the wrong way.

If it works, do it again, better. If it doesn't, do it again, different. Draw badly. Look at the way the light hits something and try to figure out the colors it makes. Watch the way strangers walk and how the weight of them shifts in motion.

Creating art--beautiful things, ugly things, silly things--is not something that you should be leaving to people who are better at it or can afford the expensive materials or have a deep message or whatever. Do it anyway. Do it worse, do it cheaply, do it just for the joy of doing it. The work itself has merit. The work itself is rewarding. Make art.

And pet your cat.