The Almighty Beak

Engineering, cosplay, and bird masks. What could go wrong?

[mallowmaenad]

guy at the replicator: handful of mints crushed and slathered over braised donkey liver

me next in line: hey man are you okay? why are you doing this.

[mallowmaenad]

me at the replicator: lactation cookies. laced with domperidone. HAWT.

replicator: hi I'm the replicator. You're not getting that.

[mallowmaenad]

guy over the ship PA system: for the time being we are limiting the replicator to only dispensing turkey sandwiches and house salads. You all are fucking weirdos stop ordering fucked up shit.

me: well I guess I know what this episode's moral conundrum is!

guy next to me: what are you talking about?

someone with a spoon glued to their nose: in my culture we slap our asses with both hands when we peee

klingon gf: shall I split this imbecile in twain my queen?

someone with a fork glued to their nose: Yes! I hate that other guy! Due to my prejudices, which resemble a simplified version of 21st century American prejudices!

me: FUCK OFF THIS IS MY EPISODE

[mutationgirl]

>have distinct thought "i sure am feeling strange right now. this is probably a good time to finally get around to reading worm, the webnovel.

>open new tab

>google search

>"worm"

>pictures of worms

[kushblazer666]

araki in nebraska: fuuuuck dude what if there was an enemy

[gcu-sovereign]

@nerdfuckerrr driving most of the way to and from Colorado last year, the plains are definitely Like This.

You are in God's Bowling Lane, and He throws tornadoes

instead of balls across that yawning expanse.

[falsedetective]

cake is such an underappreciated band. i can’t believe we brought back low rise flare jeans before we brought back cake in the top 40

[falsedetective]

i’m just saying cake’s music would be widely regarded as so sexy if it wasn’t for all the mariachi horns and vibraslap and the vocalist didn’t always sound like he was explaining his suicide plans to a gun store clerk in sacramento. the world wasn’t ready for them

[digital-morganism-deactivated20]

The fact that it sounds like a dispassionate reading of a terrorist manifesto is a feature

[moggiem]

My new favourite GLaDOS character trait is that, as per her announcer pack for DOTA, she thinks high fantasy is stupid and doesn't make any sense. Her refusal to engage seriously with anything she isn't familiar with really drives home the fact that she's literally just an old woman.

[cryptotheism]

I'm frankly frustrated with the coal vs nuclear vs solar debate in modern leftist circles. Ideology seems to be blinding us to the fact that the Lego rock raiders solved all this shit with power crystals.

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

OP: If Backrooms Were in China (cr除颚贴，秋多余不是秋刀鱼，波波奶茶)

[a-book-of-creatures]

Is it socially acceptable to use opaque watercolors, or is that considered gouache?

[wumblr]

uline catalog ending explained

[gender-trash]

every game day giants fans invent a new way to use the bike car wrong .

[zvaigzdelasas]

长征十号万岁！！！

[zvaigzdelasas]

World's first zip tied rocket

[hoktom]

[nine-hyacinth]

i hate astronomers so much.

[nine-hyacinth]

this is getting ridiculous. the file extension for this cannot be .sex it just cannot be. what the fuck SExtractor. astronomers aren't real.

[nine-hyacinth]

to extract the parameters you run SEX -DP ????????? this cannot be real.

[pipewire-official]

this was literally me when people told me about lisp programming like wtf do you mean what the hell is a sexpr

[vi-official]

it's a sex pull request

[dirichletttt]

[amanitaphalloides]

I worry a little bit that people who refuse to learn about ai as a part of their anti ai position are going to be extremely unprepared to understand what’s actually scary about it and already have their digital literacy at risk tbh

[amanitaphalloides]

not that I am some genius in this regard but if you follow ai developments even slightly you might change the things you are most worried about. do people know the extent to which ai is already eating itself and how meaningless this is making swaths of the internet. do people know that there are plenty of random mid-sized companies today buying their employees’ likenesses to create digital clones and using these to make hundreds of videos. I am so much more worried about labor and surveillance and abuse than people becoming lazy about writing emails. and idk man I sort of like and respect people who are willfully ignorant about it as a way of minimizing its force in their lives and I am in some ways jealous but also when I see posts that basically still boil down to “chatgpt will never fool me” I am like 😭😭😭 for one thing not the only thing to be concerned about, for another thing I am really sorry but I don’t think you’re right

[gondorrevealparty]

what are we doing this year. how are we celebrating. is it fireworks? is it fireworks in the middle of the city? is it fighter jet flyovers? are we celebrating with a 26% increase in drunk driving fatalities? what operations is the military conducting today, untelevised?

or maybe it's just a classic family barbecue: where the men drink beer and the women are sent inside to cook and clean. maybe this holiday really does represent unity: from the most racist uncle in south carolina to a stars-and-stripes-themed drag show in seattle, everyone can come together to appreciate the luxury their country creates for them at the expense of the rest of the world. they can both look up as the fighter jets fly over, and they can cheer or they can complain about the noise but they have never known bombs in their own country and they'll have forgotten the planes in five minutes.

who will die of heat, in this heatwave manufactured by decades of coal and industry and luxurious imperial growth? will we watch the world cup, and pan over a flag-draped crowd who paid $1000 a seat and more on travel? will we grumble about trump but allow ourselves one patriotic moment for the men's team? we won't need to televise the houses bulldozed to make the highways to the stadiums, and the homeless outside of them dying in wet-bulb heat. they'll write "happy fourth" on their cardboard signs by the highway, hoping someone will be kinder for it, but no one will.

are we singing the anthem? are we standing for the flag? what are we doing this year. how are we celebrating.

[romanceyourdemons]

sewing affirmations

it’s okay that i don’t have a sewing machine

i love backstitching by hand for hours

this has got to be great for my back

millions of my ancestors did this and they lived almost as long as i want to

i’m making so many beautiful things for my house—oh goddamn it

[nohoperadio]

just saw a pigeon doing the puffed up courtship dance thing to another pigeon, and as he was strutting around he suddenly stopped for a split second to do a very brief preen-peck at his own side, then returned to the strutting around. and i surprised myself by instantly losing respect for the male pigeon in that moment, like come on man i appreciate you had an itch or whatever but how is she supposed to feel special when you're getting distracted by bullshit like that? which on reflection i don't endorse, i mean those are pretty harsh dating norms i'm imposing on these pigeons, from a total outsider perspective, for no reason. probably not all girl pigeons are as uptight about that sort of thing as i would apparently be if i was a girl pigeon, maybe she even found it endearing who knows, i don't know her. it's none of my business really. sorry pigeons.