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thetrial

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couldn’t stop thinking about this post

ramblingsarah

gotta lie down every time I remember this recording and the post about it

animentality

mikkeneko

#my family does this thing#when we've majorly unfucked a room or done chore that we were putting off#or whatever. Any sort of household Improvement.#'Come brag on me.'#I means come look I cleaned/rearranged/did dishes/put away the laundry#and the scripted response is 'oh nice it looks SO much better in here now'#like my mom did this when we were kids.#'girls comr brag on the garage I finally organized it so I can get my car in there'#and we go and 'ooh' and 'aah' and tell her how nice it looked and how she did a good job#and we could have her 'come brag on' us for like doing the dishes or cleaning our rooms#I do it to my wife now too#it's a dialogue that means#'I did a chore and it feels like an Accomplishment even if it objectively wasn't a big thing. Please acknowledge this.'#and#'Wow you sure did do a thing. It has improved our material circumstance even if only in a small way. Thank you for doing it.'#like yeah scrubbing the pans is my Job and it's a Little Task but sometimes it feels like a Big Task#and it's nice to have an Accepted Script where I can just demand 'I have functioned as an independent adult praise me with great praise' - by @thepioden

idlelizard

shapely sugar bowl

castironfrying-pan

@elodieunderglass please enjoy this horrible thing with legs that I just saw

elodieunderglass

So charming, dont mind if i do!!

prunsel

if you've ever pet more than a few dogs you'd Know what dog residue is

computationalcalculator

dopamineforthedepraved

Xenomorph frogs - Sculptures by Li Changchun

2018

bethanydelleman

I have been listening to this podcast called Betwixt the Sheets, The History of Sex, Scandal & Society, and it's really reminding me of the main reason that you should listen to experts. It's not because of the reason media usually shows, them having encyclopedic knowledge of their subject (though many do have that) it's their ability to sort.

This podcast demonstrates that ability really well because sex scandals tend to be used as propaganda, so it's difficult to tell if they are true or not. The host will ask the historian guest, "Did he have sex with men?" and the guest will say something like, "Well four sources say so, but three were written after his death and the one from his lifetime was from a dude who REALLY hated him, so I'm going to conclude no."

That is what an expert can do, that we've perhaps forgotten about because we have so much information at our fingertips, an expert can tell which information is good & valid vs. bad & unreliable. An expert can sort much faster than a layman because they've been doing it for years.

It's the same for my field. Some things I am absolutely sure are wrong, like if someone says "We only use 10% of our brains." No, we use all of it and I can even tell you what every part does. But other claims, if I see a news article claiming something that sounds fishy, I can read the research article behind it and judge the validity of the source. I can sort. I know which parameters to sort on. That was the entire point of my education and it was pounded into my head.

Knowledge isn't enough. Researching isn't enough because if you don't know how to sort you'll just be led astray down dangerous rabbit holes. That is why experts are so important.

maemaybe

I don't know who my intended audience is here, so whoever needs to hear this, I am begging you to learn to participate in conversations that are about things you aren't interested in.

Part of socializing and having friends is being a good listener even when you don't actually give a shit about the subject.

Your are hurting other people's feelings when you bluntly respond with "Anyway..." and then change the topic.

It can not always be about your preferred topic.

You are being rude. Yes, even if you are neurodivergent. You can be both autistic and rude.

curiositysavesthecat

Do you think it's weird and/or predatory for a 13 year-old and a 30 year-old to be best friends if they're not family members or related by blood? Assuming everything is innocent and platonic. Nothing romantic or sexual.

Yes, it's weird and predatory

It's weird. But not predatory

It's predatory. But not weird

No, it's not weird or predatory

Voting ended onJun 9

*This poll was submitted to us and we simply posted it so people could vote and discuss their opinions on the matter. If you’d like for us to ask the internet a question for you, feel free to drop the poll of your choice in our inbox and we’ll post them anonymously (for more info, please check our pinned post).

creelson

unpopular opinion but I don't think there's anything weird or predatory about an innocent friendship

dianxiacantastemolecules

The question is why the fuck is a thirty year old hanging out with a 13 year old if not in their family?? The only other relation that could have them interact is through teacher/student and bring friends like that would be weird as fuck

creelson

found family? the kid not feeling safe in their house? the adult wanting to help? family / teacher / school isn't always a guaranteed safe place. should the kid and adult each have friends that are their own age too? sure. but if their friendship is genuinely innocent then I think the problem isn't them but people who project their weird and predatory thoughts onto them

the-bar-sinister

Don't forget shared hobbies?

A 13 year old and a 30 year old could reasonably meet at a tabletop gaming store, a fiber arts group, a book club....

audacityinblack

They could literally just be neighbors. This whole isolationist thing of never even talking to the people you live closest to is new and weird.

olderthannetfic

When I was 13, an art teacher who worked for my mother (who ran after school programs) got into the X-Files. This was season 1. Neither of us knew anyone else who was into it, and she wasn't very online given that this was 1994, so she had nowhere else to discuss it. I'd call her every Friday night after the episode, and we'd obsessively go over it.

I'd probably have called her my best friend at the time, though I very much doubt she'd have said the same, partly because having One Single Best Friend and being super weird about which of your friends gets this coveted spot is not something middle-aged people care about.

Some of you have very weird ideas about 13-year-olds living in hermetically sealed bubbles. Frankly, many neurodivergent weirdo 13-year-olds who grew up to be Tumblr users were far, far better at talking to adults at that age than at talking to other 13-year-olds. Many of you would have had a way happier year if you'd also had an old-ass "best friend" to talk to back then.

katanahime

People really need to be more normal about intergenerational friendship.

This concept that it is still "weird" even if it isn't predatory is cutting kids off from community and from the concept of safe adults. And I think it's really really important to have that outside of spaces where people can legally control you.

And as far as what the adult gets out of it. Basically the same thing you get out of any other friendship? Teens are people just like adults are people. You may not be on the same maturity level, but that doesn't mean they aren't fun to hang out with and talk to.

avayarising

Also, is ‘friend of the family’ not a thing any more? At thirteen I was good friends with a 27-year-old whose family had been friends with mine for three generations at that point. Our generations were a bit out of sync (due to differences in when people had kids) but it didn’t stop us being friends.

baronfulmen

It's for sure weird, but specifically because the poll said BEST friend. Most of the examples above are friends in one specific context (like when doing some particular hobby). A best friend is someone that's a preferred person to hang with across multiple contexts.

More importantly, I don't think of someone as my best friend unless we can share each other's lives and burdens to some extent. I can't talk to a thirteen year old about sex, bills, marriage, death, etc. in the way that I would need to for it to feel like we're in an equal relationship.

There's nothing wrong with a thirty year old and a thirteen year old hanging out and considering themselves friends in certain situations, but if the thirty year old considers the thirteen year old their best friend I'm going to assume they're socially stunted.

bumblebeerror

I didn’t take it to mean that the friendship had to be openly stated to be “best friends” mostly bc like. As someone approaching 30, I have multiple equally close friends in a variety of ages. But by your definition, my best friend is my mom. Which like, I do love her and live with her and prefer her company, but she’s firmly my mom before anything else.

Either way, I don’t think it’s weird. Friendships with adults, even best-friendships, are incredibly important for kids. Your parents and teachers cannot be the only adults in your life. Someone has to teach you how people who haven’t changed your diapers or given you Tardies are supposed to treat a kid or young adult.

baronfulmen

I think a lot of you guys are not realizing just how young thirteen is. Thirteen is SO YOUNG you guys.

What does this friendship look like? What the fuck are you talking about? What are you doing together? And again, the poll says "best friends" which - regardless of your personal definition - is for sure not the same as "neighbor kid I chat with because he always runs out to pet my dog when I'm walking him" or "kid that always comes to Magic: the Gathering night at the local shop and we have fun playing together" or "kid that I'm mentoring in some specific way".

It's: "this is my friend Bobby, he's in seventh grade and thinks saying 6-7 is the funniest thing in the world. He's gonna ride his bike over so we can go see the new Mortal Kombat movie, since I need to buy the tickets; he's too young to be allowed in by himself. My ex wife says that I'm trying to make up for the fact that my own thirteen-year-old son isn't living with me, but that's ridiculous. We're just good friends. I told him about all the stress I'm having at work, and how my dating life is going, and he tells me about the other kids that are mean to him in Roblox. It's a really solid friendship that we both for sure get something out of."

bumblebeerror

Well no, that’s not how a close friendship with a person that much younger goes.

You can be incredibly fond of a child without having to “get anything” out of the interaction?? Never have I EVER assumed a friendship with a young person would involve me getting anything out of it, and in an innocent and platonic friendship as stipulated, adults have the responsibility to NOT unload on a kid like you would an adult.

There are ways you treat a kid as an adult, and those ways you treat a kid don’t go away when you become friends with them unless you’re being untoward.

Like I have worked in a daycare and I considered those children, as a close second to “my responsibility”, my friends, just like they considered me their friend. I did not ever talk about money or my problems with them, because they are *children*, and that’s not how you interact with a child. I’m sure for some of those kids, I was their best friend. Whether or not I considered them my “best” friend isn’t really needed imo.

I think, again, you have a very narrow idea of what a “best friend” is, and what it must be.

baronfulmen

Would you, the adult, consider the child to be your best friend? Not just someone you're friendly with, not just someone you have positive interactions with in some limited context, but in a general "who are my closest friends? Karl, who I've known since we were both in high school, Wendy, who was originally another friend's girlfriend but we kept her when they broke up and hang out all the time, and Billy, who is thirteen and does everything with us" kind of way?

Again, this isn't "can you be nice to kids without being a creep". It's not "can a kid consider YOU to be their best friend?", this is "can you, the ADULT, be BEST FRIENDS with a child".

And I mean yes, obviously you CAN, but it's 100% weird.

pocketss

Ummm she's literally sensitive :/

avatarmerida

Happy pride month to the tiny cowboy and tiny Trojan man from Night at the Museum

This hands down the best comment in the notes, I will not be taking criticism.

song-of-sea-and-sky

happy pride month 2021 I ain’t quittin’ you…

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

Rice planting. Nepal

Vibe checking. Nepal

I was curious about a source on this because OP has it tagged as “india,” while the two comments above affirm it as Nepal.

Interestingly, reverse image search brought up this photo, which appears to be a capture of the exact same moment, just from a different angle:

Nepalese farmers throw mud at each other in a paddy field in Tau-Daha village on the outskirts of Kathmandu on June 29, 2010. The farmers are celebrating National Paddy Day on ‘Asar 15’ of the Nepali calendar as the annual rice planting season begins. AFP PHOTO/Prakash MATHEMA

Two more photos of continued vibe checking, also from Prakash Mathema [1] [2]

And a personal favourite from 2018 (in Lele village):

escuerzoresucitado

churlsgonewild

yournewfriendshouse

HAND CRANKED AND TWISTED

lastoneout

I do think it's really funny that Sam has this reputation for being a madman who tortures and humiliates his friends for fun and profit but then when you look deeper and remember that these are all comedians it becomes abundantly clear that every single person on that stage is a massive masochistic freak and the dynamic is more that post about BDSM that's like

Sub: Can you drug me and then tie me up naked and throw me in the back of your truck and drive me to an abandoned warehouse where you do fucked up science experiments on me?

Dom, notebook in hand: I don't know, that's scary.

Like that's the real Game Changer cast vs host energy it's not Sam being an insane god of chaos and pain torturing his friends who are semi-unwilling and scared it's Sam offering his comedian friends a space of unlimited possibility and watching them immediately go off the deep end and suggest making an episode based on Slender where they have one hour in a park at night to find 6 pages while Brennan—who is high on shrooms, blindfolded, and holding a broadsword—hunts them for sport. It's not Sam's fault all of his friends are dangerously insane, he's just trying to offer them enough enrichment that they don't start trying to eat each other. In one of the latest episodes the contestants essentially torture themselves for fun and one tries to give a kid a beer while the others cheer him on, trust me the contestants are SCPs and Sam is their handler. This is containment, not torture.