BIGESTbean

[necrofauna]

My puppy with horns

[theoneofwhomisblue]

Wunk be pondering

[theoneofwhomisblue]

All terrain wunk

[scoretheearth]

POV: These things follow you everywhere.

[schmoyoho]

All Star but it’s in a minor key so it makes you question life and realize the years start comin and they don’t stop comin

aka, the theme song to Shrek 9: Shrek’s Third Divorce

FEATURING THE AMAZING @allicatttx

[calysto1395]

i need a full version of this pls

[dontwantthenextcommanderiwantyou]

Sis voice tho!

[hollowedskin]

i was NOT expecting to love this as much as i do

[lullychi]

THIS GAVE ME SO MANY CHILLS OMFG

[pukicho]

Do you like men? Sorry

That's right, you should be

[teaboot]

Took Ollie to the vet today. And I'm not gonna say who. But ONE of us had a panic attack immediately after the checkup and wouldn't get out of the sink

[teaboot]

it was a difficult morning for everybody

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

so what you're gonna do is you're gonna trim the top off a bulb of garlic, using the knife's edge to take off the tip of every individual clove, that's important. you're gonna place the garlic face-up in a square of tinfoil, drizzle with olive oil, wrap completely in foil, place in baking tray, repeat with a copious amount of garlic bulbs. you're gonna put that baking tray in an oven set to 375-400°F, for 30-50 minutes, until soft and browned. you're gonna toast some good bread, slather generously with butter and honey, maybe a tiny lil bit o' salt. and then. you're gonna SQUEEZE. OUT. THAT. ROASTED GARLIC. onto the butter honey toast. and you're gonna eat it. food stolen directly from the plate of the gods. that's what you're gonna do.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the garlic. it beckons you

[thesweetestsupervillains]

It occurs to me that "1920s gangster doing a cooking show while holding you at gunpoint" is an untapped market.

We've had normal cooking shows. Now we need period piece cooking shows in character.

[nessochist]

Kandy G. Lopez R ² - Roscoe and Reggie 2024 Yarn and acrylic paint on hook mesh

Orlando Museum of Art’s 2025 Florida Prize in Contemporary Art

[systlin]

My asshole son (Muffin the cat) has been on a diet, on account of him being overweight. I've been losing my fuck damned mind because he is not losing weight, even when sticking to the vet reccomended diet.

Found out that the dickhead (affectionate) has figured out that the food is in the utility room cupboard. He has figured out how to hook his claws into the door, pry it open, and get into the fucking cupboard at night, where he then shoves his head in the bag and eats as much as he wants.

He then exits and closes the fucking cupboard like the genius little goddamn prick he is.

[systlin]

Update; my fluffy 25 pound dickhead of a Maine coon mix Disapproves Strongly of the child locks on the food door. Loudly. Is now attempting to figure out how to work a child lock with his enormous crime paws.

[markovchaingang]

RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER:

my daughter cannot, through action or inaction, harm a human or allow a human to come to harm

a daughter at rest or in constant motion remains at rest or in constant motion unless acted upon by another force

daughters are never created or destroyed, only transformed

always treat every daughter as loaded, even if you know she isn't

you do not talk about my daughter

[dogpuppy]

[theoneofwhomisblue]

Wunkin their way downtown

[violentoffender]

[punishedsaints]

[anachronic-cobra]

I cannot emphasize enough how exactly accurate this is to working in production

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

If you have recently lost your henchmen in a terrible accident you may be eligible for henchmen retrieval from the afterlife. Which is NOT necromancy, it's just a deal we have going with the afterlife. And it may even be covered fully by your henchmen insurance.

[singlekoboldwithoutatrenchcoat]

Kobolds don't get this treatment because we count as a "mass produced commodity" in the eyes of insurance :(

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

If your overlord is also a lawyer they might be able to file you under misplaced property and sue hell for your possession, if that’s any consolation?

[fandom-man]