IAmFangirlingRightNow

[thebookreadingdragon]

A concept:

Sparkling Milk.

[akissforyou-deactivated20210304]

please live for yourself. Don’t forget that this life is yours and nobody else’s, don’t get caught up in trying to do things for others at the expense of hurting yourself in the process. Live beautifully, love vibrantly, and celebrate to the fullest. Dance for yourself, sing for yourself, be kind to yourself. Fill yourself up with passion that never seems to die because you remember why you do all of this. You are your own greatest reason for living! For going out there in world and doing what you love most, enjoying every minute because you say you can. Don’t forget about yourself please. Do me a favor and honor yourself.

[rhetoricallesbian]

“yeehaw” is actually code for “gay rights”

[endangered-justice-seeker]

This is painful. I have no words..

[stevviefox]

And people say monsters aren’t real.

[huntydraws]

For whatever reason you’re in the closet, you deserve to enjoy pride! 

[loweana-deactivated20211112]

“If I cannot be better than them, I will become so much worse”

Jude Duarte from The Cruel Prince by Holly Black

[werewolfmonkie]

i found a christian retelling of the first harry potter book and it claims that birthdays are unholy and are made up

[werewolfmonkie]

some highlights

Ron is a Slytherin

Draco is a Ravenclaw AND a mysogonist

Snape isn’t a cunt and is really nice and caring towards Harry

Angels have replaced owls

Dean Thomas is a main character for no reason

Dumbledore isn’t gay and is married to a woman and is ALSO Hermionies dad

It doesn’t take place in the UK for some reason

Wizard duels are now called pray-offs

I’ll add more when i read more

[werewolfmonkie]

more

Harry converts Draco into being a Gryffindor (who are depicted as pitch perfect Christians who follow the bible closely and only take orders from God)

Eco friendly-ness is bad apparently

Voldemort has hair

Believing in evolution is apparently Satanic

Voldemort wanted to make Christianity ILLEGAL

Voldemort ALSO has a Reddit account

Dumbledore calls Reddit a “godless coven”

THEY LITERALLY TRY AND CONVERT VOLDEMORT INTO BEING A CHRISTIAN

Harry says that Voldemort has been tricked by the lies of society and that he deserves to burn in hell 

““I’m just so upset that you don’t accept the Bible,” Hermionie sobbed femininely. “The Bible is the best book ever. Why can’t you respect that?”“

Voldemort is described as a fornicating, drug-addicted evolutionist (Actually, this is what the author says that all Evolutionists are like this)

I can’t believe i found a fic to rival My Immortal

[sleepy-loopin]

This is some anti My Immortal shit

[sorry]

how does one sob femininely? 

[oddpyromaniac]

PLEASE SOMEONE SEND ME A NAME OR A LINK TO THIS

[chaiischii-deactivated20190628]

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10644439/1/Hogwarts-School-of-Prayer-and-Miracles

[oddpyromaniac]

I love you thank you

[5000angryspiders]

Dumbledore is married to McGonagall.

There are several paragraphs describing beloved fictional characters’ chest hair.

Slytherins are Catholics.

Petunia wears pant suits.

[bidootdoot-deactivated20190601]

“Aunt Petunia smacked her hands over Harry’s young ears; and her voice was sickly sweet when she said, “Thank you very much for your concern, sir, but he does not need your religion, he has science and socialism and birthdays. “

[sawyer-saucee]

Reblog if you don’t need religion because you have science socialism and birthdays

[emybain]

can you write "dying kisses" for nodrian? I'm sorry omg

i flipped a coin to decide on who was finna die 

context: final battle for gatlon, they know of one another’s identities, and they pretty much hate each other ngl. 

based off of a kiss text post

I refuse to edit and for that i have no regrets fight me

“Nova?”

Nova looked up at Adrian, unmasked in her Nightmare uniform. Then, she looked back down at the knife driven through her middle. Slowly, she grabbed its hilt as her knees buckled from underneath her. Adrian jumped forward, using the springs under his feet, and caught her before her head could hit the ground.

“That’s what traitors get,” her attacker, a filthy sewer dweller that pledged allegiance to the Anarchists, spit out, right as a bullet went through their head. Adrian whipped his head around. Danna lowered the gun.

Nova gripped his arm tightly then, and he looked back down at her. Her chest was rising and falling unsteadily. She moved her mouth, speaking, but the roaring in Adrian’s ears prevented him from hearing her.

“You’re going to be okay,” he found himself saying, eyes frantically assessing her wound, knowing better than to remove the knife. He looked over his shoulder at his team, all staring in shock. “Danna, get help! Ruby, Oscar, come help me!”

Even as he yelled, even as they did as they were told, Nova touched her hand to his cheek. There were unshed tears in her eyes that didn’t match the quivering smile on her lips.

“I’m going to hold my sister again,” she breathed. Her chest shook with each inhale. “See…my parents.”

Adrian shook his head. A tear fell from his cheek. “No, stay with me, okay, Nova? A healer is coming. You’re going to be okay.”

Oscar and Ruby appeared beside him, although there wasn’t much they could do. Not with the knife still embedded in her. Not until they had a healer.

Her eyes, which had previously been pointed at his shoulder, met his. They were the eyes of the girl he knew, of the girl he knew before she betrayed him. But none of that mattered now. She had taken the knife meant for him. His enemy had saved his life, sacrificing herself in the process.

But Nova was never his enemy. Not really. Even though they were on opposite sides of the war.

“I’m sorry.” She gasped for air, blinking rapidly. “For…for hurting you. I really…really did care…for you, Adrian.”

Adrian held the hand against his cheek, clutching it. “Just a few more minutes.” He didn’t want to answer, afraid of what he might say. Too much said too late.

“Adrian.” Nova tugged at his hand, surprisingly strong. Upon her request, he leaned down. She pressed a kiss below his eye, then kissed his lips. He responded immediately, gentle in his caress, but pulled back just as quickly.

“You need to save your air.” Adrian gulped. His lips tingled.

Despite the circumstances, Nova managed to roll her eyes.

“Tell the others I’m sorry.” Her voice dropped in volume, eyes flickering to Oscar and Ruby who watched helplessly, holding one another.

“Please, don’t go.” Another tear fell from his face, and Adrian let it fall shamelessly. “Please, stay with me.”

Nova shivered and huddled closer to Adrian’s body. “Don’t…let things go back-go back…back to the way they were,” she whispered to his chest, barely audible.

She went still in his arms. He shuddered when he heard her last breath. Throat closed, head on fire, Adrian raised her face to his and kissed her forehead.

Then, as the battle raged on around them, he closed her eyes.

They were the first thing he noticed about her, months ago at the parade, and they were the last thing he would see as he said goodbye to his enemy, who was so much more than just an enemy.

[images-that-are-only-blessed]

[butchdarry-deactivated20180612]

the greatest skill a woman can learn for herself is self reliance

[butchdarry-deactivated20180612]

to clarify … so many strong women in my life rely on men. that dependence is dangerous. ladies here are some good ref resources I’ve found helpful on my journey towards self reliance

automobile

changing coolant

changing oil

changing tire

jumping a car

plumbing

toilet running

basement flooding

replace a faucet

clogged drain

electrical

replacing light switches

blew a fuse

installing overhead light

earth vs. neutral vs. live wires

home

patching drywall

finding studs

this list is in no way comprehensive feel free to add on

[nerdgul]

a lot of ‘man things’ are a lot easier than you think they are. especially considering the fact that most of these things when buying the parts come with directions on the packaging that men usually don’t even look at (and often end up doing it wrong because they were taught by fathers who also did not look at the packaging). 

like i recently had to change my car battery and freaked out cause i thought id electrocute myself but turns out new batteries come with directions and its the easiest shit in the world so long as you can lift the damn thing. 

so yeah, ladies dont ever feel like a man is a necessity for life, you can do this shit on your own its easier than you think!  

[lovelysuggestions]

strech marks, freckles, spots, and scars are all what make you human. your body is beautiful.

[nerdonthemoon]

someone: haha why are you so obsessed with (insert show/book series/film/etc)

me, internally: because throwing myself into something allows me to briefly forget the constant depression misery and sadness i suffer through every day and when i marathon things my self hatred sometimes starts to disappear because i forget that i’m a real person who exists in the real world. my obsessions help me to cope when i feel like i’m about to explode or cry or scream or all of those at once and once i get into something i barely think of anything else for weeks which is a very unhealthy coping tactic but hey it helps so

me: haha idk :))

[i-hate-chick-fil-a]

Nevaeh now wears a scarf to cover several bald spots and her singed hair. She was left with first-degree burns, but it could have been worse according to Tanya Robinson, Nevaeh’s mother.

“The doctor told me her hairstyle saved her life,” Tanya recalled. “Had it been different, she might not be here.”

This isn’t the first time Nevaeh has experienced bullying. Two years ago, another student broke her thumb.

I’m walking into that school like

Hate crime. It should qualify as one.

[hundondestiny]

Nevaeh is thirteen years old. This happened at Gompers School in the Philadelphia School District. The school district has not issued any comment, but y'all can make yours:

Samuel Gompers School

Address: 5701 Wynnefield Ave, Philadelphia, PA 19131

District: The School District of Philadelphia

Phone: [phone]

The School District of Philadelphia

Address:  440 N Broad St, Philadelphia, PA 19130

Phone: [phone]

[betthearm]

This happened October 25, 2018. This isn’t some random post that won’t die. It’s happening now. Call. Demand accountability and this be treated as a hate crime.

[stand-up-gifs]

Baron Vaughn (x)

[smosh]

I’ve never seen such an appropriate font change in a gif set.

[itsgeauxtime-deactivated2023082]

“There as as many knives as bands of strangers to wield them against you” is the most raw, metal line I think I’ve ever seen

And it came from a fucking standup routine

[writing-prompt-s]

The Devil is known for being incapable of love. You are determined to romance the living hell out of him.

[mrmeow-meow]

“Hey, would you mind giving me a map,” I wink and found my finger guns at the Devil himself, “to your heart?”

He glanced at me for a second with a blank face before walking around me and continuing down the hall of his castle. I quickly turned and ran to walk beside him.

“I’m sorry, but it’s just that I got a little lost,” I explained before winking with another set of finger guns, “in your eyes.”

He comes to an abrupt stop and let’s out a heavy sigh. “We’ve been over this. I will not date you,” he strained out the word ‘not’.

“It’s cool. I get it,” I raised my hands in surrender, “But has anyone told you, you look,” I once more winked with a pair of finger guns, “hot as hell.”

He groaned and brought up his clawed hands to rub his forehead in frustration.

[adoratato]

Hehe this is exactly how I imagined this would go and I love it

[writing-prompt-s]

Due to a typo, your local store/mall/etc. put out a request for an appearance by Satan instead of Santa. He follows through with the request.

[pajama-nerd]

He shows up and reads through the entire job contract, notes the spelling ‘Santa’ and just corrects each one with a red pen. He eyes the mall representative, who is sweating bullets, but says nothing about the fact that the contracts he’s making are with children, or that they don’t involve souls of any kind. He signs on the bottom line in a strange, bony quill. There’s a strange red flash, and the mall rep is super reluctant to ask. Or touch the contract.

Satan wears the red suit and the hat and the boots, if awkwardly (those cloven hooves, don'tchaknow). 

The elves stand well away, but he’s hardly bothered by that, casually waiting on a throne that’s far more cheerful and composed of significantly less bone than the one he’s used to. The children are hesitant at first, until a little girl marches up, sans-parents, and plops herself on his knee, looking up at him with the set jaw of someone who isn’t interested in this farce.

“I want a pony,” she says with a roll of her eyes. She’s no more than nine. He arches an eyebrow “Do you?” he asks. She scoffs.

“Tch, no, but you’re just a man in a suit, it’s not like you can’t get me what I want.” He smiles at her assertiveness and steeples his fingers, careful not to jostle her from her perch. “Try me.” She narrows her eyes at him, studying his inscrutable face before folding her arms. “There’s a bully at my school, and I want him to go away,” she said. His eyebrow arched a little higher and he tilted his head. “And if I do this, I believe the standard contract is that you will be a ‘good girl’ and behave appropriately towards your most favored parent?’ he replied. The child rolls her eyes. “Yeah, sure,” she says. He nods and holds out his hand, which curls around hers entirely when she puts hers out. 

“It will be done.”

After that, the children are a lot less hesitant, although several adults attempt to leave. Several hundred bargains are made. For toys. For new family. For present family to suffer. For puppies. And kittens. For understanding. For acceptance. 

He declines anything borne of pettiness - of momentary squabbles between jealous children - and redirects them towards more productive desires.

He turns away anyone over the age of eighteen, though several adults attempt to approach. Later they are plagued with horrible nightmares.

At the end of each day, he returns to the underworld and assembles teams of demons, handing out assignments to each of them, to be researched heavily and then executed the night of December 24th. The demons are confused, but do as they’re told, because the dark lord’s edicts are undeniable. His secretary gives him an odd look, but Satan is immune to searching looks, and says nothing, just retires to his room, gets up in the morning, has his coffee, and returns to the mall, donning the suit and heading for the chair.

At the end of the week, he has made more than a thousand deals. The demon hordes are scurrying back and forth between hell and the physical plane.

There are many confused parents, come Christmas morning. Some find themselves with various pets they don’t remember registering for. Others with children. Others still find that their children have undergone some sort of personality shift, to the delight of their siblings. 

The first girl is bitter in her heart as she opens gifts, until a letter is personally delivered by a strange mailman, detailing the removal of a teacher from the school she attends. She reads and rereads the letter after her parents finish with it, heart beating strangely lighter in her chest. Her parents are bemused and delighted about the hugs she gives them, and about the enthusiasm with which she ravages her other presents. 

They are far less bemused by the black, hellfire-maned pony that is left on their doorstep, a tag attached to the pommel of the saddle that reads, ‘To Katie, Regards, Satan’

[rainnecassidy]

best.

[squeelyeah]

the best Christmas story I have read so far

[captainlordauditor]

is this terry pratchett

[dovewithscales]

This is brilliant.

[yulenaas]

Can you believe we live in a society where people are kissing Elsa’s ass and viewing her as a great big sister despite neglecting Anna through their whole ass childhood just cause she has the ability to make fucking freezer ice cubes while Nani, a dedicated brown woman who despite lost her parents by a lethal storm had to push her grief aside because Lilo was now her main priority, took care of her, fed her, probably paid money for her hula classes, busted her ass at her job to financially support Lilo, busted her ass to emotionally support Lilo, supported Lilo’s photography talent even though Lilo’s theme was a little weird, got her a dog and even during moments where Nani hit was hitting rock bottom (ex: getting fired but didn’t put her frustration out on Lilo) she did whatever it took to keep her little sister from being taken away, and wanted nothing but happiness and safety for her.