the dogs^ name is Steve

they/them|Scottish Jew|personal tag is #faerietalks

[terefah]

[muttsandmustelidae]

“hey this dog looks to be struggling to perform very basic functions and that is very worrying” “well ACTUALLY if you STUDIED THE BREED STANDARD you’d see that this dog is actually the IDEAL ______” YEAH. THIS TOO IS THE PROBLEM. WHAT ARE YOU NOT GETTING.

[muttsandmustelidae]

“you can’t blame breeders for breeding to standard :/“ i actually find it very easy to blame them. they are the ones creating the dogs on purpose, you see

[teethwreath]

[rocketbirdie]

guys. Guys please you're allowed to say big boy words. please we cannot keep just rolling with the sanitization of every space on the internet ok. you're allowed to say suicide. you're allowed to say porn. they're not bad words, they're just words.

also by ''censoring'' the words with silly spellings you're actually making it much harder for people to filter out. please just say Sex you don't have to call it woohoo like it's the fucking sims. i promise the Word Police aren't going to arrest you

[nature-travel-photography]

From the stunning peaks of Hunza to the serene lakes of Skardu, Pakistan’s landscapes are truly breathtaking. - Author: Top_Distribution199

[imsoofuckingsad-deactivated2018]

it’s like i always say: fuck

[stormsbourne]

usually when you have a stomach bug your body is like yes sir we'll get this punk out of here, 48 hours tops. then you get a cold and your body is like I dunno ... between a few hours and eleven months ... maybe a week minimum .... you gotta understand we're short staffed

[tibli]

tbf to the body, stomach bugs are easier to flush out since they are already in The System That Flushes Things Out From The Body, and that includes BOTH ends.

with a cold you gotta wait for the macrophages in your blood to start Eating Everything, and they are. not big. it takes them a while. please be more considerate of your macrophages in the future, theyre doing their best

[marlinspirkhall]

I've got to find myself more macrophage

[acesexualspock]

Now Hiring: macrophages

[daughter-of-sapph0]

immunesystem.com/careers/macrophage

[goshkanani]

[geocaprican]

[bisexualhunterbiden]

Why are people so offended if you don't like Mamdani lmao. He's a fucking politician. Why do I have to be in his fan club? If he ends up being great for NYC, cool. I still think it's stupid to act like he's idk The Face Of The Party when he is literally just a mayor who isn't even one year into his term. Also I live in fucking Tennessee. I didn't vote for him. I never will vote for him. Because I don't live in NYC.

[bisexualhunterbiden]

Also fuck that guy for ass-kissing Trump. Why do we just blow past that? Kamala Harris did 2 campaign stops with Liz Cheney, who lost her political career for opposing Trump and I still have to hear people whining about that. But Mamdani does his little photo op and defends Trump's health and it's him playing 6D chess.

Like why are you so fucking obsessed with this dude. His wife worked for a woman who calls Jewish people cockroaches. What are we doing.

[froggos-are-superior]

I love you characters who try so hard to avoid becoming one specific thing that they end up becoming something arguably worse. I love you characters with backwards development. I love you characters whose ideals dissolve over time. I love you characters who start out bright-eyed and end their stories with several important pieces missing.

[filmgifs]

Jennifer's body (2009) dr. Karyn Kusama

[sandersstudies]

Every time you go in a public place and something ISN’T disgusting it’s because somebody cleaned it. Every time you feel comfortable using a public bathroom or sitting at a restaurant table or setting something on a gas station counter or playing on a playground it’s because somebody cleaned it.

Thank you to everyone who cleans the world, especially those who are underpaid and under appreciated.

[invisible-goats]

saw an ad outside a local restaurant that said "have a star-crossed dinner this valentine's day"

do...do people not know being star-crossed is bad?

"come here and have a dinner that's cursed by fate"

[3liza]

everone in the replies going "no it isnt" and "ive never heard it used that way before" take a look around at what and who you are surrounding yourself with. ignorance is contagious, never just assume you know the actual literal meaning of anything, look it up

[tzikeh]

Did no one in the replies read Romeo and Juliet in school? It's the source of the phrase. It's in the Prologue -- the first lines of the play:

Two households, both alike in dignity (In fair Verona, where we lay our scene), From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. From forth the fatal loins of these two foes, A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life Whose misadventured piteous overthrows Doth with their death bury their parents’ strife. The fearful passage of their death-marked love And the continuance of their parents’ rage, Which, but their children’s end, naught could remove, Is now the two hours’ traffic of our stage; The which, if you with patient ears attend, What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.

This is shit you learn in 8th-grade English. You folks in the replies... wow.

[the-haiku-bot]

This is shit you learn

in 8th-grade English. You folks

in the replies… wow.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[oddandalarmingsexualfeelings]

they should invent a headache that goes away the second you drink any water at all

[miiilowo]

where is my favorite painting i need to find my favorite painting

[miiilowo]

a break in their day by david hettinger. i loveyou

[cilantroodon]

[ID: A blotchy-looking painting of a person and a cat sleeping on a made bed in a green room. End ID.]

[leahbasavraham]

Wilhelm Wachtel (1875-1942)

Lighting the Shabbat Candles

[fluffysheeple]

christian bad driver: my guardian angel watches over me, I don't need to look before I merge

atheist bad driver: I will rely on my own skill to see myself safely home after a mere 8 drinks

agnostic bad driver: no one knows where all these dents and scratches came from

[whumpster-fire]

hindu bad driver: yes I totally cut them off but have you considered the possibility that they were a douchebag in a past life so they deserve it?

buddhist bad driver: stop getting mad you are too attached to material things (your car that I rear ended)

jewish bad driver: according to this highly controversial interpretation of the melachot which five separate rabbis have told me is completely stupid, driving during Shabbat is fine as long as you ask your non jewish neighbor to turn the car on because then the engine is already on. However, using turn signals is prohibited and you can't turn headlights on or off which is why I just leave my high-beams on at all times

muslim bad driver: muslims are never required to yield the right of way to non muslims

neopagan bad driver: if we follow the teachings of the Great Earth Mother, traffic is like a flowing river. Turbulence and disorder are part of nature. "Lanes" are a product of a Christian society obsessed with rigid status and social control. You gotta just go with the flow, man. (jerks wheel and sends 2004 Subaru Outback with COEXIST bumper sticker and Etsy Dreamcatcher hanging from the rear view mirror careening across 3 lanes of traffic to make an exit)

satanist bad driver: much as great Lucifer defied god's oppressive vision of rigid order and obedience, I am treating this "stop" sign as a suggestion

pastafarian bad driver: this interchange is a sacred place. the convoluted mess of twisted, tangled ramps reflects the form of His divine noodley appendages. When I enter it I must meditate on the interchange and lose all awareness of surrounding cars.

amish bad driver: I don't need to pay attention to the road, my horses know the way home (is currently in the oncoming lane and has just run over a toddler because a leaf fell 200 yards away and spooked the horses)

cthulhu cultist bad driver: human "traffic laws" are insignificant and meaningless in the face of a bleak and uncaring universe. Ia, ia, Cthulhu fhtagn!

[penandinkprincess]

so wildly obnoxious when you agree with the starting point of someone's stance only for them to hard turn into things you DON'T agree with and now you have to defend the thing that was originally annoying you

"too many authors in the current market are focusing on selling 'spice' instead of telling interesting stories"

"oh yeah, i agree. i started reading one that i heard a lot about and it just wasn't-"

"and it's all of these women reading their fucking mommy porn out in public like FREAKS"

*through gritted teeth* "people should be allowed to read whatever they want, and actually these books should be left alone and you should shut up about it"

[literaryroses]

[brostateexam]

[changelingcyborg]

[Image ID:

Image 1. Screenshot of tags in all caps. Reads:

#I don't want to defend shitty smut #But I am being forced to stand shield to shield #thanks a lot asshole now i have to ride or die for the worst sex i've ever read

Image 2. Image of following text:

Too often these days I find myself in the position of defending someone I think is annoying from someone I know is dangerous

/End ID]