the castle system

complex did system working on fusion, pls read pinned post

[thecastlesystem]

the scary pro-healing blog your disorders warned you about

anti-endo in the 'yeah i'm a normal person who knows how the theory of structural dissociation works' way. anti-transid in the 'what the fuck is the matter with you people, stop dressing up appropriation as a trans thing' way. anti-harrassment in the 'i think you're all thinking about yourselves too much, go touch grass/interact with another human being' way.

we use parts language pretty much exclusively. they/them collectively.

alter intros

dni

[calicosistema-deactivated202511]

How some people with DID look at you when you tell them that having alters is just the tip of the iceberg of the whole disorder

[dissociativefreak]

I need more people to know that parts are not the most important or debilitating symptom of DID. The way "system" communities hyperfocus on parts can be extremely alienating for many people who live with this condition. In fact, parts are so far from being the central issue for most people, that one treatment for DID involves maintaining parts and lowering other symptoms of DID. Amnesia, PTSD, Depersonalisation, Derealisation are the primary symptoms that impact my and other people's daily lives. We need to stop giving in to the media's narrative of what DID is. We need to stop choosing to discuss DID by its most fantastical parts. I'm tired of feeling like I don't belong in spaces that are supposedly made for people with DID just because I don't meet the social media presentation of what DID is.

[the-io-collective]

parts that fused didn't die.

you don't need to mourn them. they're right there.

they don't need to feel guilty for healing.

[thecastlesystem]

OSDDID Propaganda We Aren't Falling For

parts language is dehumanising

you must always know who's out, and always tell people

fusion is bad/murder

getting so attached to alters being separate that it hinders communication and healing

there's a correct way and an incorrect way to resolve did treatment (both final fusion and functional multiplicity are good depending on the patient)

being stable and having communication with alters makes you functionally multiple, even if you still have memory problems and ptsd symptoms

trauma does change the brain but healing doesn't

not taking system responsibility

acting like it's not a problem to want a bigger system/to split more alters/to have 'worse' trauma

always treat alters as separate people

[thecastlesystem]

the build a headmate thing pisses me off so bad

character. the word you're looking for is character.

like if you're going to make up fake alters you could at least not be lazy about it. like imagine outsourcing an alter's traits. you know, the only thing that differentiates them from you becuse you're doing this on purpose and not dissociating from your identity as part of a disorder.

[hazedxg0]

People always talk about non-human alters as if they're this funny little quirk of DID, but no-one talks about the fucking dread you feel when you discover a non-human alter.

How nauseating it is to find out you were abused to such a severity that part of your brain doesn't even believe it's human anymore. And how much worse it is when you can tell exactly what kind of trauma it must of experienced based on the form it takes. And you had somehow forgotten about all of it until now.

[thecastlesystem]

tw antirecovery

ugh i hate that i feel this way but i want to be less stable than i am. there's my logical brain, that loves the jumps we've made in recovery, and is so excited to be done with this trauma processing. but then there's another part that wants the novelty of splitting, especially introjects.

because this stage of healing, with this amount of trauma, is soooo boring. it's the same story over and over, always a child part in terrible amounts of pain. it's not fun, it's not an adventure like it was when we were first learning we had did. when we were a teenager, we had heehee haha fun little characters in our head along with a few child parts that held more minor trauma (ofc, we had the more major trauma holders, but they weren't accessible). now, all those 'fun' parts have fused, and all that's left is just trauma on trauma on trauma.

and now we have a hyperfixation, and oh i can just TELL which character our brain would've latched onto, and that would have been so fun. but we're too stable to split now. and we want fewer alters, not more, and introjects tend to be the ones to fuse first so it's not like we could fuse down all the trauma holders and keep the fun ones. and i like being stable, but i miss when my brain was entertaining.

idk i just sometimes wish did actually was what did fetishisers think it is.

[coolhumanoidbeing]

Shout out to people with Complex Dissociative Disorders (parents edition):

If your parents genuinely changed and improved overtime

If your parents were absent when you were a kid because they were sick / ill / working / otherwise indisposed

If your parents were not your abusers

If your parents would have acted differently if they knew you were being abused

If your parents didn't have the resources or knowledge to help / understand you

If your parents were loving and yet still neglectful

If your parents inadvertently invalidated / didn't believe you, but now do

If your parents weren't your primary caregivers when the abuse happend

If you weren't abused at all and your trauma was medical / environmental / etc

Had emotionally and physically present parents but you still had disorganized attachment with them as a kid because of your delusions / paranoia / etc.

If your parents regret how they treated you

If your parents loved and love you but acted the way they did because of substances / mental illness

If your parents are not completely bad people, or bad people at all

If you still get along with your parents regardless of what they did

If you ever invalidated your own traumatic childhood experiences because your parents were "too nice"

Your trauma is not less valid if you get along with your parents today. Sure, you needed disorganized attachment to your primary caregivers as a kid to develop a CDD. But that can take plenty of formes, and they don't all include your parents being monsters.

Edit: any other emotions regarding your parents are also valid and okay, and I couldn't mean that more. Childhood trauma survivors go through so many rough emotions, and self-invalidation is sadly way too common. Your feelings are a direct result of what happened and that makes them normal.

[thecastlesystem]

i love you parts language i love you integration i love you organic fusion i love you trauma processing i love you feeling less fragmented i love you feeling freer from trauma i love you seeing parts as a whole i love you my parts i love you my childhood self i love you healing

[thecastlesystem]

castle's moodboards: the valley subsys

[thecastlesystem]

OSDDID terms: a completely subjective rating list by solace

based on this post by @jaybird3756. this is not objective by any means, just personal opinion on what we like to be called. if you love a term we don't like or vice versa, that's completely ok. this is just for fun :)

individual

alters - 7/10. a little clinical but accurate. points taken off because it feels like i'm armchair diagnosing myself when i say it (<-- has been diagnosed for years)

parts - 10/10. we love this one. integrated into the english language enough that it doesn't call attention to it, but also nonspecific enough that it can mean whatever each part wants it to mean. part of a person? part of a system? part of a family? all valid!!! emphasises that we're all in this together, which helps with system unity. can also cover any alter from the most elaborated to the most fragmented. cannot say enough good things about parts language!

headmates, brain friends, other 'quirky' names along those lines - 2/10. idk why it just squicks me out. something about it being so obviously a term that was made up specifically to talk about this experience, which feels othering to me.

others - 9/10. if we can't use parts, we're using this.

voices - either 1/10 or 8/10 depending on context. if it's anyone talking about it in a serious way, ew. if it's someone talking about their own system in a lighthearted manner, it's fun and i like it.

insiders - 4/10. very confusing, do you mean only ish alters? or any alter that isn't the host? it kind of reinforces the idea that only the host is 'real' to me. however, it's not something that makes me feel gross so it's getting a higher score than some others.

people - 5/10. fine i guess. not super accurate in our case, we're heavily fragmented and most of us don't have the emotional range to be considered a fully fleshed out person, but a couple of us like it.

any word referring to family members, friends, or coworkers. - 7/10. discreet, which i like. kind of a cool code if people know what you're talking about. points taken off because i can't tell whether people are talking about their outer life or inner life.

[legal-sounding words] (eg: delegates, jury members) - 8/10. we don't really remember to use it but very fun.

system members - 5/10. accurate, but a bit boring and clunky.

comrades - 8/10 cool and commie.

mes - 5/10. alright i guess. our younger parts use it sometimes.

collective

system (as in 'the system is saying this') - 10/10. the classic.

collective - 9/10. we don't use this personally but i wouldn't think anything of it if we were referred to as one.

constellation - 7/10. cute!! we don't use it but it's cool.

[a name for a group of people] (eg: the kids) - 10/10 if it's accurate, 4/10 if it isn't. one part calls us all children even though he's including the adults in the system and it's a little frustrating.

[a name for a group of animals] (eg: pack) - 2/10. gives me the ick. maybe it's just that i was dehumanised as a kid but please don't call us this.

the [blank] system - 6/10. a bit clunky.

^ shortened to just [blank] (so for us, castle) - 10/10. we like this one a lot. gets rid of the clunkiness but retains the ability to distinguish the whole system from each individual alter.

[a collective human name] (so for us, alex) - 7/10. wish we had chosen a better collective name but it works so it's fine. problems come in when the name is also the name of an alter, or people assume it's the name of an alter when it isn't.

chat - 10/10. no notes, funny as hell.

the counsel - 9/10. yeah man that's what it's like.

identity terms

system (as in 'i am a system') - 8/10. sure.

multiple - 5/10. we don't really experience our did as being a group of people in one body, so it's not really accurate to our experience.

plural - 2/10. ^^ plus it feels icky idk.

dissociative - 10/10. accurate, doesn't sensationalise or put undue focus on the alters aspect of osddid.

person first language (as in 'i have did/osdd') - 10/10. this is one of the only things where we prefer person first language.

possessed - 1/10. we believed this for years and it's not helpful at all. don't ever call us this.

[ackleyz]

Many Voices Newsletter (1989-2012)

[ghostjustliketherest]

forgive yourself for

living in the dark

loss of wonder

forgetting how to play

being absent in public

bored before stars

not remembering

not being in my body

not starting right now

Voting ended onOct 30, 2024

[coolhumanoidbeing]

Shout out to people with Complex Dissociative Disorders (parents edition):

If your parents genuinely changed and improved overtime

If your parents were absent when you were a kid because they were sick / ill / working / otherwise indisposed

If your parents were not your abusers

If your parents would have acted differently if they knew you were being abused

If your parents didn't have the resources or knowledge to help / understand you

If your parents were loving and yet still neglectful

If your parents inadvertently invalidated / didn't believe you, but now do

If your parents weren't your primary caregivers when the abuse happend

If you weren't abused at all and your trauma was medical / environmental / etc

Had emotionally and physically present parents but you still had disorganized attachment with them as a kid because of your delusions / paranoia / etc.

If your parents regret how they treated you

If your parents loved and love you but acted the way they did because of substances / mental illness

If your parents are not completely bad people, or bad people at all

If you still get alone with your parents regardless of what they did

If you ever invalidated your own traumatic childhood experiences because your parents were "too nice"

Your trauma is not less valid if you get alone with your parents today. Sure, you needed disorganized attachment to your primary caregivers as a kid to develop a CDD. But that can take plenty of formes, and they don't all include your parents being monsters.

[hiiragi7]

Things I've experienced post-Final Fusion:

All of a sudden, the days felt really... really... really long. I never really felt like there was any time in the day prior to final fusion; living my life in parts, I had never experienced such continuous flow of time before. It's long.

It feels like I now have a lot more time to do things in the day, and I have to be careful not to push myself too hard. I've found myself being online less and less and getting a lot more involved in my offline hobbies and reading. I have a lot more time to work towards things I want to do.

I can actually think about and plan for the future now, and it's incredibly exciting. I talk to my partner constantly about it. I am very excited about the future.

I can remember so much more of my childhood, things I never thought I would ever remember I now do. That being said, there are still things I don't remember, likely tied to other memory issues, and I've made my peace with that.

While my memory certainly got significantly better in many ways, I've realized I struggle with non-dissociative memory issues as well, and I will live with those issues for the rest of my life; it's just how my brain developed, and that's okay.

Speaking of memory, I can remember things freely that before were limited to the memory banks of my individual parts. I no longer have to worry about what parts hold which memories and go about tracking them down; I as a whole either remember something or I don't, and of my memories, I can remember any of them whenever I want.

I feel a sense of ownership over my life, over my memories and my sense of self and my body. I can look at it all and very confidently say "that's me", and I feel and know it to be 100% true. A long way away from not being able to recognize myself in the mirror.

I can't dissociatively "take a break" from life the way I used to (ie switching out and letting another part handle it), and while it took a long adjustment period to get used to this, I'm okay with that; I have other ways to take breaks while still being present, I can listen to music or watch videos. If I really just need to be unconscious, I take a nap.

I had to come to terms with the fact I couldn't push myself past my limits anymore in the way that I used to, and that this is in fact an expression of self-care for me. I used to be able to push far past what I should have been able to, especially with regards to physical pain, and to some extent I can still do this under specific circumstances, but it is no longer something that I will do in my day-to-day life living with disability and chronic pain.

Actually existing in my body now, I have come to realize just how much chronic pain I have been in. It's made me a lot more alert to my needs and how to care for myself, what makes it better and what makes it worse.

When people say "there's always a chance you'll split again", it doesn't scare me; it comforts me to know my brain would still know how to cope if such an extreme situation occured that I needed to split again. I've worked through dissociative barriers, I could do it again. I know what lies at the end of that path is love.

No part of me has ever gone away. Even fully fused, we are all still here. I can even still communicate with myself as parts if I choose to. I still have parts, they just look different now. There are no barriers between us.

My parts held a lot of different aspects of my identity to them, aspects I'm still to this day sorting out. I've had a lot of realizations about who I am as a person post-final fusion, especially with regards to gender and disability. A lot of things about myself were formerly very heavily fragmented and dissociated which no longer are, and I'm still making sense of them.

I no longer experience flashbacks and nightmares. This is a major thing for me I sometimes still am in disbelief about, my nightmares used to be so severe that I would refuse to sleep because of them, and my flashbacks were horrible and caused very intense physical sensations. I no longer have them, and that's incredible.

Life is so much more vivid and colorful than I ever realized. I never realized how dull everything felt and looked before final fusion. It feels like a complete perspective shift that is hard to grasp in words.

I can feel my body so much more now physically than I ever could before. I feel each of my limbs, I feel changes in temperature, I feel my own breath, I feel different textures and sensations, everything I hear and see and feel and taste has so much more depth to it now.

I have emotions! A whole lot of them, and I can feel all of them. I can feel emotions that might be percieved as "contradictory" at the same time, I can feel emotions over little things and big things and just about anything at all. I'm no longer limited to feeling my emotions in parts, and it's incredibly freeing.

On that note, I have so much more emotional capacity now for feeling all of the love I have for myself and others. It's wonderful. I can't shut up about it.

[luxlitemidnight-deactivated2025]

holding my OCs that haven't introjected very carefully so that I can continue to play with my dolls and hope that they do not turn into real boys like Pinocchio