Cosmic Speaks @thecosmicjackalope - Tumblr Blog

Responding to a pandemic in the world’s wealthiest and most powerful nation:

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU’RE APOLOGIZING FOR BECAUSE I’M COMPLETELY CONFUSED

The RNA vaccines approved for COVID-19 in the US both need to be distributed at extremely low temperatures. Like 40F lower than any other mass-distributed medicine.

It turns out the Dippin Dots company runs the only nationwide supply chain that’s ever operated at those temperatures. So all these big serious health orgs are consulting the expertise of, and even exploring renting equipment from, The Ice Cream of the Future™️.

roseverdict

WODJSKXNSIJXSKD

systlin

I had to look this up and it is true

what the FUCK 2020

officialdippindots

We are the ice cream of the FUTURE, after all :)

pharmdup

The tags on this post are my favorite ever so I’ve collected the best ones for y’all:

pharmdup

thecosmicjackalope

Guys I’m famous now!

Not as famous as Dippin Dots but that’s okay!

nyaa

“omg you’re just blogging for attention”

and you’re blogging??? for gold? Women? Immortality?

geekandmisandry

nookisms

Person in my gas station talking to someone on the phone: ...We're in Ohio...

Me, knowing we're in Utah: ????

nookisms

paddysnuffles

Thank you for the map for context. It makes this 1,000 times funnier and intriguing.

remnantglow

when being insufferably obnoxious abt a piece of media u love actually convinces ppl to check it out

notcaptainjack

eclipticasolaris

Gift it to the goth girl to win her heart.

jooshthepunished-deactivated202

Stole a mermaid's actual fucking heart oh my God

vexedandperplexed-deactivated20

ooppo

I remember one time I got INSANELY high off of edibles while playing Among Us, and it quickly became apparent to the other players online. I forget how honestly but literally anything "sus" I did was ignored by everyone because I was so fucking high. I tested this theory by standing in front of a body and the person that actually reported it didn't even mention me. The funniest part was when I was trying to do wires, I kept fucking up over and over again, so I was just standing in front of wires for actual minutes trying to figure it out. A small crowd of players gathered around me to watch and would get mad every time someone reported a body or emergency meeting because "she's never going to get her tasks done if you keep interrupting them." I don't think anyone cared about winning at that point, they just wanted to see the high crew mate succeed in her tasks.

the-infinite-casmos

ooppo

THIS IS 1000% ACCURATE LMFAO. Thank you op

ooppo

Ohhhh yeah

eliyahu613

this tweet. but for tumblr

dashaibo

And what, pray tell, is so wrong with that? Must a king lower himself to the vocabulary of insects? Must an academiac explain his reasoning to kindergartners? There is no shame in knowledge nor is there in verbosity. Quite the opposite, they are to be celebrated. But I guess this is the world we are forced to inhabit. This world... This planet, teeming with life and all its infinite possibilities. And you would dare dilute it, so that a simpleton's mind could comprehend it? I will not stand for this. No more shall a man be judged for his might, his ambition, his intellect. No more shall we look down on those who propose a mere thought experiment about owning a human pec9sdjv0 c9i2ewokhndvoi adsjvci uwqeowdsxujvnli ufdsiuljfcniu ofeidcvjpc9nUIODSuljvniuwqopisafjvp985erioewaudJHB9jrg8frjuv8ar9jvuw08rd9vujq35g89spdujigk[0e9ravjik0rvu9jq54w8yvh r8og;af9ukjgmoiaelgurj9g8zboifyhvlo8fivujawp89 OC:Ivjare0sd9oizl

semicolonthefifth

Please leave the mall, you're making a scene.

dashaibo

You won't... Keep me... from Hot Topic... forever...

sandersstudies

Every time you go in a public place and something ISN’T disgusting it’s because somebody cleaned it. Every time you feel comfortable using a public bathroom or sitting at a restaurant table or setting something on a gas station counter or playing on a playground it’s because somebody cleaned it.

Thank you to everyone who cleans the world, especially those who are underpaid and under appreciated.

fantasmadebarovia

there is nothing more important than a dear friend you can be a huge fucking asshole hater with

fantasmadebarovia

weirdplutoprince

Well, well, well. If it isn't the consequences of someone else's actions that I am directly impacted and severely affected by

genericpuff

husband just reminded me of that time years ago when we were running a co-op farm in stardew valley

after we got married in-game it did the thing it does and asked us if we wanted to have a baby

we were like yeah sure why not, we're not having kids irl so may as well have a cute lil' virtual baby that costs us nothing and we can turn into a dove at any time

like the very next day we got that super rare 0.8% chance event that we had NO CLUE ABOUT where a freaking alien capsule drops on your farm in the middle of the night and the next day it's like shattered and whatever was inside is running loose

and we just froze and looked at each other like "??? is this our baby???" 😭😔

genericpuff

c'mon guys i really can't handle another shitpost flooding my inbox

especially not one about me and my husband's stardew valley alien baby

cease this behavior at once

genericpuff

i hate it here

natalieironside

Shout out to trans women who aren’t computer scientists or musicians or avant-garde artists or whatever.

Shout-out to tgirls who work at Taco Bell. Thank u queen, society would collapse without you

snkrfnd

Over twenty years ago my big brother got me a job at a Taco Bell in the St. Louis suburbs-West County. He warned me that it was the “gay Taco Bell”, but since I was coming from the “gay Howard Johnson’s” I wasn’t shocked. It turns out it was the black trans women Taco Bell complete with black trans women in management. And they’d worked out an arrangement with the local teen Narcotics Anonymous group so that twice a week we would shut down the drive thru and the dining room and exclusively serve 60+ teens in various stages of recovery. And many of the women I worked with were in various stages of being out or transitioning and they were from all generations from teens to over 50. One woman I worked with had a regular corporate job presenting as a man 9-5 Mon-Fri and then came to Taco Bell and worked 6pm -2am Friday and Saturday night so she could be herself surrounded by other black transwomen in those stolen weekends. And we had customers come from all over the metro area because they knew they could be themselves in the dining room. I only worked there from 1999-2001 but for young me, this was a vital, formative experience. Some of the girls came from north city all the way out to the “gay Taco Bell” on Manchester in west county because they heard it was safe to work there. Like- I know times have changed but they haven’t changed much in 20 years. I’m still convinced that for lgbt youth, finding a job at your city’s version of the “gay Taco Bell” is key to survival.

natalieironside

Thank u for sharing this with us

allwhiterain-deactivated2025061

Matthew Lillard and Angelina Jolie as “Cereal Killer” and “Acid Burn” in Hackers (1995)

zagreus

previously unseen genders in human history

hiveswap

Everyone say thank you american indigenous people for cultivating corn, potatoes, peppers, tomatoes, cacao, pumpkin, squash, and anything i missed. Makes life more meaningful globally

xiaguangmagpie

Yes actually I will not shut up about how these foods are from the Americas/cultivated by the people there, and did NOT exist in Asia, Africa or Europe before the 1490s, there was an absolute food revolution going on in the 1500s. Whatever you think is traditional food for your country? Check again, you’ve maybe only been using that ingredient for maybe 500 years. Here is the full list of crops, it is very interesting :))