Crypt Chick @thecryptchick - Tumblr Blog

The new Odyssey adaptation has inevitably gotten people talking about a Muppet version of it, and they’re frequently suggesting Kermit as Odysseus, Miss Piggy as Penelope.

I’m sorry but that’s thinking way too small, hear me out:

We need to have Miss Piggy as Odysseus, and Kermit as Penelope.

Think about it… who’s the more fickle, prideful, warlike one in that relationship? Who is absolutely ready to go ham, at a moment’s notice?

It ain’t Kermit

anyroads

Miss Piggy tied to the mast while Statler and Waldorf heckle her from the sea

merlinmumbles

Okay but who's the one human actor playing?

literary-potato

I vote Nobody, but I could see arguments for Helen of Troy or Circe as well.

Also important:

How does the Circe turning men into pigs thing get handled given that Miss Piggy is a pig-Muppet and there are multiple other muppets who are already canonically pig-Muppets?

They get turned into real live action pigs, nobody remarks on it

They get turned into real live action pigs & Piggy looks directly at the camera

They get turned into chickens

They get turned into live action humans

Nothing happens at first to the guy Muppet-pig, so Circe has to get creative

Other/I’m bald/vanilla extract

Voting ended onJul 30

Just to clarify my vision on a couple of these:

* by chickens I mean Muppet-chickens à la Camilla (Gonzo naturally would have some reaction to this)

* in the “nothing happens at first to muppet pig”, what I’m visualizing is that Cpt James Pork (or whatever his name is - the pigs in space one) is in the crew, everyone else in the crew gets transformed into either live action pigs or non-sentient Muppet-pigs (walking on 4 legs, etc), and he is completely unchanged… until Circe sighs and snaps her fingers again, and he turns into some other animal (maybe a chicken? or possibly a live action human, in which case it’s obviously either an INSANE celebrity cameo pull with someone who’s normally top billing, or literally William Shatner)

literary-potato

Can I just say I really appreciate that our collective commitment to the Muppets is so strong that at 120-something votes, not one person has chosen other/vanilla extract?

gardengarlic

Every time this crosses my dash there's a different string of comments and they are all gold so I'm consolidating.

amuseoffyre

Circe - only human in the film, played by Anne Hathaway! - turning the pig muppet crew into humans and Miss Piggy gasping "You monster!"

gecko-with-a-greatsword

*guy who doesn't know anything about sports and has never cared about sports in his life* hey did you know womens professional baseball is returning after 70 years and the games are going to be streamed for free on youtube and the season starts august 1st

gecko-with-a-greatsword

youtube link

Our time is now. The inaugural season of the WPBL begins August 1st, 2026.

website

butch-ragh-barkrock

I think this is so cool and it's awesome they're streaming games for free! I also think it's incredible that this picture is the one they used to advertise the opening day. It's like those videos where someone threatens the camera while their partner shows off their collection of rocks they found.

lamignonette

beardedmrbean

Next up someone is going to claim that the Narnia series isn't kids books.

Kids books is probably not the best way to word it, you can enjoy them at every age, including your childhood, as you get older you may find new truths in them, but they're still good for any age.

cookingwithroxy

I want you to understand this. I NEED you to understand this. My mother read me the hobbit as bedtime story, and I started pushing myself to read before pre-school so I could in fact read the hobbit for myself instead of having to wait for bedtime.

I didn't do so right away but jesus wept I PUSHED myself to learn to read SPECIFICALLY so I could read The Hobbit! It is, in fact, a children's story! And children only see page count as 'there is a lot of this fun story to read!'

scifiscribbler

You can read The Hobbit in under 45 minutes if you're not reading it aloud to someone.

captain-price-returns

It’s very funny that Hegseth spends 100 percent of his time talking about how masculine and traditional and warrior are ethos he made the military, then his band of Real Men just speed ran a nearly unprecedented military failure

ghost-mantis

On this, the anniversary of the lunar landing, let us also celebrate the greatest post-mission achievement by a crewman.

I refer, of course, to the time Buzz Aldrin (age 72 at the time) cold-cocked a moon landing conspiracy theorist straight in his smug face after being accused of being a coward, liar, and thief.

Yes, someone was indeed dumb enough to tell a man so unafraid of death that he was willing to go into the void on a fragile explosive rocket, a coward.

Said dumbass was filming this confrontation as some sort of proof of moon fraud, but has instead captured this glorious moment of near-cosmic justice for us to loop for all time.

Aldrin was not charged with any crime. He should have been given another medal for public service.

talkgentlytome

carcinogenic-siren

Acting like society has at all addressed or even contemplated transmisogyny for even a moment is a fucking joke.

Just continuing the hate train on this poor girl, which if she was talking about how misogynistic classic horror movies are against cissexual women, everyone would be lauding her for having the guts to stand up and say something.

“I’m not trying to be mean” No, but you are being transmisogynistic. Because she (op) *is* right, these conversations are not had outside of transfem spaces, and trans women everywhere have to sit in silence while y’all praise sotl, rhps, whatever the fuck. You know for a fact you are not discussing how these classic horror films harm trans women. For fucks sake, you probably don’t even know what transmisogyny is.

No one outside of trans women is ready to have a conversation about transmisogyny.

davinaclaires

POOH'S HEFFALUMP HALLOWEEN MOVIE

"Charles, I will not stop living and breathing art... If you don't let me gut out this house and make it my own, I will go insane, AND I WILL TAKE YOU WITH ME!"

mousegirlheart

American politics is so bizarre to me. Every time I see fox news say something it's some ridiculous shit like

bigchungo8383-deactivated202208

this is the money ammy. reblog for blessed funds

sofuckingblue

small change chibiterasu to charge!!!

tiredherethicc

now THIS is a money spell post I can get behind!

titleknown

I will say, it's slightly sad that the "THE WRITER'S BARELY DISGUISED FETISH" thing has been taken as some kind of sex-negative slam against horny shit, because I know the dude who came up with it, @therobotmonster and he is nothing if not extremely anti-censorship and anti-prudity.

The use of that turn of phrase was never meant to apply to small creatives, it was meant to apply to mass media like TV or published fiction, things that are massively commercial enterprises rather than indie weirdos, as a part of his larger Thing of pop culture commentary.

The reason I bring that all up is because A) It's sad that the message of a person I consider a good friend keeps getting twisted...

...And B) It came to mind when I ran into an example of it in the wild via an old Call of Cthulhu campaign book that featured a 15-ft muscular dommy-mommy as a primary antagonist for one of the adventures, complete with rules for reproducing with her and a segment with the header "Watching the Giantess Grow"

therobotmonster

I am not 100% sure if that one was one of my contributions to @siphersaysstuff's project, memory's real bad what with the horrors and all, but no one's ever accused Siph of bein' a prude either.

If you're readin' it prudish, you're readin' it wrong.

Any comments I make about, say, Don Bluth or Chris Claremont's obvious peccadillos is intended from a place of demystification and appreciation, as well as exploration of the concept of creativity and how every part of a person's outlook and experiences play into it.

Because we all do it. We all write our own tastes into things from time to time.

So in the interest of calling myself out, here's a selection of my adult female OCs from the past couple of years. See if you can detect a pattern:

From "TyrannoMax", Maureen the Lizard Queen, BrontoSarah, Ms. Nice/Ms. Nautilus, PteroDarla, the Cold Shoulder, Aunt Acid. (to scale)

From "Farrah and the Familiars", the human and monster forms of Necrotari, Tilly Tepesh (Grandniece of Dracula), Ghoulatea, and Farrah Fyendlyne, and the Shockettes: Screamdream, Saccarene, and Venessa.

Misc characters: Queen Macheen, Hypnathize, Kitty Concolor, Captain Janet Starcraw

Melinoe Labs: Directer Maria Kleinheart, strain SCD3HeB/FeJ of the 9 out of 10 Solid Clone Dancers, and T.O.B.O.R. half of the time.

Sally Kleinheart, Sexbomb, KLE-Kat5.

DynoGuard (samples): Gloria Anning, LaBrea, Zara Hurlant

I could post a bunch of the Dæmes from Dæme-On, but I think the point is made. A lot of what makes you you comes out in your work, that includes that you find alluring, titillating, or psychosexually complex.

And I'm sure one could easily trace a lot of my "This better not awaken something in me" moments from media with veerrrry little trouble from this sliver of character designs.

This is just a variant on how Jack Kirby kept making powerful free-spirited goddess-characters based on his wife, or how Nagel's gals were all vamps, Akira Toriyama's thing for fierce-yet-hectoring women, or Sorayama's whole deal.

Or how Peter Paul Rubens painted the same kind of zaftig figure so often the term 'rubenesque' happened.