my heart is like a claw machine

its only function is to reach, it can't hold on to anything

[neurotoxinsonline]

[nixpunk]

people aren't even getting a little bit genghis khan anymore. you guys used to love getting a little bit genghis khan

[lakidaa]

[draconym]

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

[draconym]

[orcboxer]

Every time I go they put me in a chair and they say look into this machine there's a hot air balloon or a farmhouse in there and I do and I'm like you're right I see it and they're like yeah keep admiring that hot air balloon or farmhouse and I do and I'm like this shit's quaint as fuck and then do you know what happens next they attack me they jumpscare me with air directly into my eyeballs and i fall out the chair and they say sorryyyy but they're NOT they wanted this to happen they KNEW about the jumpscare well now I'm wise to it now I know better when I go in and they say look at this bodacious hot air balloon I'm like NO WAY DUDE that balloon wishes me harm have at thee and I attack them and push them on the ground and spit on them

[mammalianmammals]

Northern Hog Badger (Arctonyx albogularis), family Mustelidae, Kaziranga Tiger Reserve, Assam, India

Once considered to be a subspecies of the Greater Hog Badger, A. collaris, which has now been split into 3 species.

photograph by Soumyajit Nandy

[hackfurs]

General tumblr reminder, since some people don't know: If the person's URL has "deactivated" plus a string of numbers (a date) after it, that means that they manually deleted their own blog. It doesn't mean they were banned. Banned blogs don't have "deactivated" after them and will just be the normal URL you can't click on or interact with. They look very similar and function the same, but they were caused by two very different things.

[hackfurs]

thats not true i dont think people would do that

[orangezinnia]

what being a transfem jax truther feels like rn

[astraleliza]

so real bestie

[orangezinnia]

"i am NOT crazy! i am not crazy. i KNOW that rabbit is an EGG. i knew it was "progesterone makes you better at gambling." one just like the canvas of doodles that came true, as if i could ever make such a mistake, never! NEVER! i just couldn't PROVE it! she covered her tracks, she's got that idiot "pinnacle of masculinity" lie going for her. you think this is something? you think this is bad? this? this chicken eggery? she's done worse! that MAID DRESS! are you telling me that a "man" just happens to hyperventilate like that? no! they orchestrated it! Zooble!" @astraleliza

[astraleliza]

this post truly was made for me specifically this is the best thing i’ve ever seen in my life

i love you so much

[orangezinnia]

just remembered this post. we won @astraleliza

[astraleliza]

we SO did omg 😭😭😭

[indolentjellyfish]

tiny glass aphid

[catgirl-kaiju]

Has anyone else noticed recently that when you press the 🅐 Button while in the air you can hardly find the strength to do a Double Jump anymore? Go ahead and try if you want, but it won't work.

[orcboxer]

autism tests are so funny. I'm extremely literal most of the time, but people don't tell me that generally, so I'm inclined to answer disagree. because I'm taking the statement too literally

[peopleingishard]

^not my post but same sentiment

[friendlyfrankenstein]

the scariest thing about old tv isnt really the racism or the sexisim because you kinda go in braced for that it's all the scenes where suddenly an actress is holding a lion cub or a chimpanzee is in the same room as a toddler, or suddenly theres a lion, or there's a chimpanzee again but it's driving a car, or holding a lighter, or holding fireworks. You just kind of watch in horror as over and over an actress performs with only 1960s tv film shootings best animal handling between her and the opening to Nope.

[retroactivebakeries]

[kiradical]

This is how I learn that the famous chimp my dad got my nickname from tried to kill Reagan. Fuck yeah.

[anglaised]

the desire to pretend white women are simply always victims and groomed into fascist movements instead of being willing participants is by design, u have been taught ur entire life that white women are dainty angels that have to be lead and protected and no harm they do is fault of their own, thats why u think literal nazi women are just confused harmless babies, it’s designed that way on purpose

[tzikeh]

More examples of the WORST mansplaining here.

[useyourblinker]

This might be my favorite

[lotsofcatsandcheapwine]

This is mine

[stockyardsyndrome]

[polishkurapika]

[cryptotheism]

if you were gonna completely reimagine wizards, what implement would you replace staves and sticks with?

Play station 2 controller

[noelle-ism]

Playstation 4 controller would be better because it's wireless and has gyro functions for rotating Wizard Things (i dont do wizard stuff)

[cryptotheism]

What's interesting is that the gyro controls represent the four watchtower spirits (north south east west) along with the spiritual dimension (outer, inner). Pitch, Yaw, and Roll represent Jachim, Boaz, and the Da'ath-Tifareth path respectively.

[book-of-forbidden-knowledge]

Triangle before me, X behind me, Circle at my right hand, Square at my left hand. For about me flames the PLAYSTATION.

[cryptotheism]

Hey CT, why do wizards have staves? Is there some ritual or utilitarian purpose to having a staff that got enshrined into magical practice? Is it just that wizards = old men and they need something to lean on? Is a wizard staff even a historical thing or is this like Vikings having horned helmets?

The imagery goes back to Moses.

[cryptotheism]

Broadly speaking staves and sticks are independently common magical imagery. They carry such potential! They could be a kings scepter or a masons rule or a million other things. But in western esoteric history, the most famous stick-having magician figure is Moses.

[sivavakkiyar]

I’m pretty sure it’s so that you can or threaten to hit people with it if they get annoying

[cryptotheism]

They are also instruments of connection. Paths of organic tissue between you and the annoying guy you're wacking.

[pukicho]

One bird in my neighborhood starts chirping at 4am, way earlier than the other birds in my neighborhood. If you think about it, it’s actually really annoying, and it probably pisses off the other birds, including me, who isn’t even a bird.

[omegaversereloaded]

Smoking my clown and/or my beetle