Vexi's Secret Meme Catalogue

I haven't updated in like a decade. Most probably know me by Vexi (TheDeadVexillologist) now. 33 years old now jesus. Pronouns are found by rolling a 2d6 and comparing it to a table somewhere.

[razielim]

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[beleester]

>#I love how this gag would be funny at any point since the third century BCE

[imprincessez]

would transitioning have saved oda nobunaga?

[phaeton-flier]

I'm not an expert on this gal but everything I've read screams "Estrogen would have made her worse"

[phaeton-flier]

Nobunaga was already super chuuni, you wanna know what would happen if she got a decent rack? They'd be speaking Japanese in Chiang Mai, that's what would happen.

[intj-confessions]

Tread here.

[toothsalad]

The best part is OP got fired because their boss asked why they weren’t “incorporating blockchain technology” into the video switcher they were building and OP straight up said “you have no idea what you’re talking about” and went to lunch

[random-brushstrokes]

Nikolai Bodarevsky - Her Favourite (1905)

[y-kasa-deactivated20240228]

Perfectly matching and replicating colors just by seeing them is an art, and, while it's also a very useful task, people who can do this are primarily artists.

Massimo / X

[fish-fido]

Wow.

[cuprohastes]

Yeah but no but yeah -- Look he didn't just colour match it, he also added in the turbulence medium, the clearcoat and the correct metallic flecks... for a paint that will dry a lighter shade than when it goes on.

That's like being served an entire thanksgiving meal made my one person in 45 minutes and then saying "Oh they made me a snack": It is radically underselling what this person can do.

[transmortifried]

idk why people are still trying to do "hear me out"s on tumblr

you could talk about wanting to fuck the space needle on here and people would still call you a poser for insisting on fucking "conventionally attractive architecture" as if that's a coherent, easily-recognizable category

[charlesoberonn]

I want to fuck Antoni Gaudi's unbuilt Hotel Attraction skyscraper design

[anatomizer]

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

[thepersonalmossblog]

“hear me out” and it’s the fucking dildopolis

[youtubeswordsofwisdom2]

"You were named after the two most brave people I've ever known; XKCD Pomni."

Scout Young, 2026

[retroactivebakeries]

if you’re going to have viziers you need to have two viziers and they need to be the following viziers:

the vizier who is cold and calculating and utterly heartless whose only concern is how best to achieve your goals and uphold your ethical principles; and

the vizier who recognizes that 100% absolute understanding of objective truth is not the optimal percentage and will lie to you, convincingly, as needed to maintain optimal conditions

having a third vizier is always inadvisable, but if you are to have one, it should be the vizier who ensures that you are aware that all things are transient and suffering is inescapable.

if you have a fourth vizier, fire them. if you persist in your folly, make this one like a sexy maid vizier, because I want this post to do numbers.

five is right out

[enki2]

[hotvampireadjacent]

[ozempicofficial]

[whosname]

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

[ram-me-ramiel]

*thap thaps you*

[moffpup]

[gremlininho]

A butternut woollyworm ♡

[lierabee]

awawa

[brittdyke]

sends me into the stratosphere every time