noodlepuke @thedrunkplatypus - Tumblr Blog

jelloapocalypse

Original Scooby-Doo is hilarious

movedaccount12345-deactivated20

Oh look it’s God

the-worm-man

He made it with his thought and 0.000001% power

aqueerkettleofish

I remember this episode and it’s worth pointing out that all of the villian-in-rubber-mask’s hijinks were explained…. BUT THIS WASN’T.

excellent-monster-girl-ideas

…HEY YEAH YOU’RE RIGHT

turing-tested

gay is in fact the gender that i want people to percieve me as

turing-tested

i want people to look at me and go 'oh i have no idea what you are but you're definitely a homosexual'

loverism-deactivated20230916

i consider it a true tragedy and failure that we, as a human race, have let lavish masquerade balls go out of fashion

bardstardish

when i woke up this morning, my first thought was ‘no one visits my grave anymore’ and i was really sad for a few minutes so i lay on my bed with my eyes shut and then all of a sudden i opened my eyes and was like ‘wait i don’t have a grave what the fuck’

vvitchella

you were possessed

cryptiboy

find the spirit that possessed you and visit their grave you jackass

murdockquills

sir that is my emotional support snarky tragic male character with parental issues

yuyufashion

insidetoout

Tattoo by Thomas Hooper

oberonsson

Dame Archer kicks McDougal’s Scots ass there in the rain at the Washington Midsummer Renaissance Faire - August 11, 2018 - Photo by Douglas Herring

anarcho-wormism-deactivated2019

😮

garrettauthor

Oh NO.

treacleaergia

me, a sheltered noblewoman: Pray who is that brave knight? Dame Archer:*turns around* me: gasp! *instantly in love*

dirtyriver

Alicia Archer

ex-sang-uination

my bi heart………

ohmightysmiter

I’VE NEVER SEEN THE ADDED PICS

hrefnatheravenqueen

Ah heck, reposting again for some more A. Archer goodness:

.

This final picture will make you 300% gayer:

khromata

[dies in gay swordsexual]

wheeloffortune-design

does she know how many women are in love with her right now.

pansen1802

there-is-still-some-liquor-left

the only adjectives in the english language:

1. tender

2. feral

littlegreenfag-deactivated20240

3. horny

tearlessrain

for your consideration

birdtypegirl

conquered-gnomes

Why is Jesus Feral

birdtypegirl

- Killed a tree because he was angry that it didn’t give him fruit when it wasn’t fruit season

- Destroyed a bunch of tables and chased the owners with a whip

- Blew up and then acted like he didn’t know nobody (Mark 3:33)

- Yelled at his followers for interrupting his nap to let him know their boat was about to sink

- Healed a blind man by spitting on him

- Explicitly ordered his followers to steal a donkey for him

And that’s just the highlights from Mark.

gingerdaile

Now who is Tender/Mild and Feral/Mild

actualaster

BABY Jesus, specifically, is Tender and Mild

twistedthicket1-deactivated2022

like a good roast ham

youeitherskateoryoudie-deactiva

i hate when ur in public somewhere and something goes mildly wrong/something inconvenient happens and the nearest baby boomer tries to get you to complain with them

blueeyeddoll-deactivated2017041

what does this even mean

youeitherskateoryoudie-deactiva

EXAMPLE:

you are in line at mcdonalds. its really busy and the employees are overwhelmed. it’s taking a long time. you are minding your own business. the old man in line next to you says to you, “boy, this is absolutely ridiculous, isn’t it? these kids working just dont know what they’re doing. Or they just dont care…” you awkwardly nod and take a step to the side

gallusrostromegalus

This has probably been said a million times before but: Defend the employees.

Really, you’re never going to see Karen from Stubenville again in your life, so side-eye her real good and say:

“It’s not thier fault they’re understaffed. Having worked retail before, they’d love to have another three or five people back there helping out. But since the whole ‘downsizing’ craze of the ninties, companies try to get as much out of thier employees as possible without regard for thier welfare, or the effect on service. You should really get on McD’s website and complain about the chronic understaffing and tell them you’re willing to pay more elsewhere for better service. They LISTEN to people like you.”

People love to complain, especially entitled people. The good news is that they’re easily redirected with mild praise and a shiny new target. Butter the elders and aim them at the bourgoise.