the-elder-world

Art blog of @psychadelic-fool. It is eternally Wednesday, my dudes. (18+)

[theelderworld]

Here we are - first attack of the month. Rawr and a Rawrling for ExistentialBread on Artfight!

[theelderworld]

Hey hey, I'm on artfight.

Come and check me out.

[writing-prompt-s]

Every cleric has the ability to directly manifest their deity. It can only be done once in their lifetimes, and the cost is enormous. The invaders are getting ready to raze the town. You're the last defense, though you worship the god of harvest and childbirth, not war. You begin the ritual.

[theelderworld]

"You know 'childbirth' doesn't just extend to humans in this case, right?" the cleric says.

"Yes, I know," you call back. "But I still don't know what you're plann-"

The air turns cold. The skies turn dark. The clouds seem unusually black, you note, before you see that they're moving closer to the ground. The invading soldiers watch, horrified, as the sound of whirring wings and rhythmic chirping grows deafening.

You feel your face go as pale as the enemy's. You turn towards the cleric, who only responds to your horrified gaze with a beatific smile.

"The locusts need food to produce their eggs," she says proudly.

[writing-prompt-s]

The merchant in your town has been selling dragon's milk cheese for a few months now and everyone seem to like it. However, an adventurer reminded that dragons aren't mammals and now you all are concerned about the cheese you just ate.

[psychadelic-fool]

“Platypus situation,” the merchant said in a patient tone.

It took you a while to register the words. “A - a what?”

“Platypus situation. The dragons I heard may LOOK like reptiles, but they’re actually mammals.”

“Oh, I’ve heard of platypuses!” The local bard chirped up. “They’re the little furry guys with duck bills and a beaver tail, right?”

“Yeah! Looks like a bird, but it’s not.”

You had never seen a platypus in your life, but there was so much going on in the world that you just shrugged and accepted what the two were saying.

“Both platypuses and my dragons produce milk,” the merchant continued. “Usually it’s for their babies, but for the dragons it just builds up to the point of actually harming them. So it’s a good thing to ‘milk’ them - my dragons are happy, and I get to make cheese and sell it. It’s a win-win all around.”

You nodded and took another bite of your cheese. Well, that made sense when it came down to it. You were about to let the matter pass when another question sprung to you.

“So where does the milk come from? Do they have udders?”

The merchant paused in the middle of chewing his food.

“…is it that bad?” you asked, now feeling less like things made sense.

“Oh! I know!” The bard twisted in their seat towards the merchant, eyes sparkling. “Platypuses sweat milk out of their skin! Do your dragons do the same?”

The merchant didn’t answer.

The bard was waiting.

You looked down at your cheese and decided that, for the sake of enjoying good food, maybe some things were better left unanswered.

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

I drew this in a haze and had to post it immediately

[paradoxbeta]

Scyther

[skodasforge]

“It’s photoshopped” honestly in the age of AI that has a homey sort of nostalgia to it. Remember when people used to put effort into faking things?

[backupstardust]

@valdevia

[valdevia]

You don't need to remember folks, some of us are still out there doing photoshops the traditional way:

As long as I live, may the old ways never die.

[valdevia]

Of course, let me show you!

JPEG Compression as a sillier take on my usual medical horror

Euderus cephalophaga, a much less silly medical horror

Slide-rock bolter-ish creature hunted by the US park service

Organoid designed to feel pain

[theelderworld]

Superheroes.

[theelderworld]

My New Year’s resolution is to post on this blog more often.

Here’s an old piece from 2018.

[theelderworld]

pubby.

[theelderworld]

haha

I'm cooking.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[kaity--did]

can not recommend letting your child do a big scream when they are frustrated enough. Just straight up ask them like "hey do you need to do a big scream?" And if they say yes let cover your ears and say okay GO and let them scream because you know what eventually when you're really frustrated your little person with your face is gonna look at you with their ears covered and yell "HEY DO YOU NEED TA DO A BIG SCHREAM?!" and you can just... do a big scream and it won't scare them and you will feel better too

[theelderworld]

There is a severe lack of werebugs in fiction. I’m willing to fill that niche.

behold, a perfectly ordinary scorpion.

[writing-prompt-s]

"I told you to take me to the most powerful defense force our empire has, so why are we at the food district?" "Well sir, it turns out the magic they use for cooking is terrifying when used on living beings, and those people definitely don't want to lose their businesses."

[theelderworld]

"But this is just a spell for boiling water."

"Yes, and do you know how MUCH of a person's body is made of water?"

[theelderworld]

haha

I'm cooking.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[theelderworld]

haha

I'm cooking.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[theelderworld]

There is a severe lack of werebugs in fiction. I’m willing to fill that niche.

behold, a perfectly ordinary scorpion.