Sent a 12 year old on a fake Hero’s Journey last week and holy shit he actually did it

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@theenigmaofkirkwall
Sent a 12 year old on a fake Hero’s Journey last week and holy shit he actually did it
obviously we know in our hearts that Jabba the Hutt is not a dragon. that’s ridiculous.
But Is Jabba A Dragon Though?
he has the body plan of a lindworm. I suppose you could argue that he is too thick to be considered “serpentine”, but he is longer than he is wide, and not entirely unlike an especially chunky gaboon viper. his upright posture distracts from the fact that he’s built like an abbreviated mole lizard, which are lindworms.
and then of course he acts like a dragon. I don’t know if Star Wars uses gold or something else but whatever it is I’m sure he hordes it. eats people sometimes. disturbing taste for princesses. knights come to kick his ass.
Is Jabba A Dragon?
Jabba the Hut isn’t a dragon. He doesn’t fly. He’s more like a slug.
Ah, but he uses a hoversled, which is much like flying:
And not all creatures under the broad category of “dragon” fly. Lindworms don’t fly, neither do wyrms, drakes, sea serpents, or hydras. Lungs/Chinese dragons can fly but they don’t use wings to do it. Jabba should not be disqualified as a dragon simply because he uses repulsor technology to achieve airborne locomotion.
Jabba is unlike a slug in so many ways. He has jointed limbs, a hard internal skeleton, a skull with fixed spherical eyeballs, and no sensory tentacles or pneumostome. He is capable of facultative parthenogenesis--like komodo dragons and other squamates--continuously growing larger and living for hundreds of years hoarding wealth and power and preying on princesses. His resemblance to a slug is superficial, though we may describe him as such in an insulting fashion... like how a dragon may be called a “worm”.
Also he can and does eat people.
Jabba the Hutt is a dragon and I have convinced myself of this.
No he aint bro hes a fuckin alien. dragons have to originate from the planet earth hes from a galaxy far far away.
The dragons from both The Dragonriders of Pern by Anne McCaffrey and The Pit Dragon Trilogy by Jane Yolen are aliens from extraterrestrial planets called Pern and Austar IV, respectively.
Jabba the Hutt is a dragon.
I think you will find that Hutts lack a backbone, commonly known as a spine, which, for the most part, dragons have either litterially or figuratively.
Jabba’s motions, limbs, and posture are clearly dependent upon the use of a hard interior support system. Lacking an exoskeleton and being unable to simply squelch out of Leia’s chokehold suggests he is not simply moving around via the hydrolics of a muscular hydrostat. Besides, there’s this art from the making of The Phantom Menace:
ship this is getting dangerously close to morphological taxonomy
do you want a plucked chicken swung at you? because this is how you get a plucked chicken swung at you.
“Dragon” is like “worm”, in my opinion. It’s not a taxonomy because the variety of creatures referred to as “worms” don’t even belong to related phylums. A horsehair worm and a nightcrawler are not related but they share an innate “worminess”. A velvet worm has many legs and is still counted as a worm-thing. Like I’ve said before, “worm” isn’t a taxonomy; it’s a lifestyle.
Dragons are the same way. It’s an umbrella term, and while some irritating pedants insist that only a four-legged creature with words god can be considered a dragon, they only say that to make sure everyone in the room knows that they know what a wyvern is. Wyverns and lindworms and amphitheres are obviously all under the dragon umbrella.
If these things are dragons, then “dragon” is as fluid a category as “worm”:
Jabba has more stereotypical “dragon traits” than some dragons do. He doesn’t hit every point, but a dragon is a worm is a dragon is a worm.
My general position is that the use of the word "dragon" to encompass all these disparate creatures is a bad thing and a relic of eurocentric colonialism. A Chinese Long is not the same thing as an English Dragon, nor is a wyvern or an amphithere, and calling them "dragons" belies the cultural differences in which these disparate creatures arose.
In terms of narrative purpose and lifestyle, Janba fills the role that a Dragon does in many stories, however. I would argue Jabba is a dragon in the same sense that a Tsuchigumo is.
I think enforcing a strict cultural differentiation would eliminate most dragons from fiction. Fiction, which supplies most modern dragons, does not stick to a strict historical consistency in dragon-depiction, either visually or behaviorally.
Take, for example, the dragons from The Last Airbender. They’re clearly dragons, as they breathe fire and have wings, but they’re also more like elemental spirits that visually and behaviorally resemble lungs more than they resemble, say, Smaug. Do their similarities to lungs disqualify them from dragonhood?
Also, it’s not like the medieval Welsh concept of a “dragon” evolved in a vacuum. There are mythical creatures from around the world that bear strong resemblances to That Specific Creature Which We Are Apparently Now Inisisting Is The Only True Dragon. Welsh and British folklore was surely being influenced by mythology from disparate cultures.
I am firmly against declaring wyverns “not dragons” because even in British cultural history, the distinction only arose out of the technicalities of heraldry, not folklore or even art.
The only thing that Jabba lacks in terms of dragon qualifications: the innately obvious “dragony-ness” that makes most people take one look and go “oh yeah that’s a dragon”. But i don’t think that that’s a REQUIREMENT of dragon-hood. Like, what the fuck is that thing down there?
That thing does not have innate dragony-ness to me. It looks like a turtle with tentacles.
But, while I think the answer to “can we consider Jabba the Hutt to be a dragon” is yes, no one has asked whether or not Jabba would consider himself to be a dragon.
there’s a whole list on wookiepedia of dragons in star wars and it turns out there’s a bunch of creatures that have “dragon” in their name and they all have quite a lot of dragony-ness but also none of them seem to reach anything beyond semi-sentience. So maybe Jabba has enough dragon-y qualities to be considered a dragon, but he himself would be insulted if you called him one.
@glumshoe
i’m reading Maul: Lockdown by Joe Schreiber and
he’s a fucking dragon
@glumshoe
you make some good points and also I ABSOLUTELY HATE YOU FOR THIS
fine.
DRAGON LOCATED
i hate this i hate this i hate this
official dragon post
unfortunately
what a fucking journey of a post
brb re-arranging my internal conception of what a dragon is
Let’s climb on and chew and get chomped by mama
Me, seeing the first frame of this video: Oh, mama's at the end of her rope. :')
she seems a lil stressed
my mom and i dissected this video bc the 2 being Actually Menaces get off scot free, while the one good siblings gets chomped. Justice for the Least Annoying Cub!
this except it's me and my cat. and i can't/won't put her entire head in my mouth
doing a playthrough of dao where i recruit loghain for the first time ever
oof i knew it was coming but i still was not ready for how mad sweet baby alistair would be at me 😭
he's never exactly *happy* to marry anora but let me tell you, he's *real* pissed about it now
(hearing loghain gush over maric is giving me the strength to not instantly reload and undo it all)
one interesting thing about the solas crestwood catastrophe is that:
if we look at the relationship from solas' perspective, he knows he's already... permanently altered lavellan with his magic, in a way that they didn't consent to/fully understand the ramifications of. oops! that was accidental, and he didn't even know them then, so presumably he manages to get over the guilt enough to have somewhat of a normal relationship afterwards.
but then, let's assume that he did stick to his plan to tell the truth... then he essentially:
altered their physical body with magic.
lied a LOT by omission.
drew them in with friendship/affection before dropping a Huge Moral Burden onto them.
can't REMOVE the magic in his current state, until he gets the orb back.
if the explanation goes badly, and lavellan ends up hating him/disagreeing with his plan, they wouldn't even be able to tell him to fuck off permanently. bc the anchor is still slowly killing them.
if lavellan agrees with his plan in theory, then... they still have to accept the deaths of most people they knew and cared about. which even if they're ok with for the Greater Good™, will horrifically change their personality and ruin their life.
if lavellan agrees to help with the plan, then... they're basically solas' agent afterwards, and will have to personally bloody their hands even more. and the power differential only gets Worse.
so he's... a bit mythal-esque in his approach, by accident, isn't he? RIP! mythal is of course, the Best Of The Evanuris™ and a girlboss, but that's presumably unsettling to him when he realizes it. it seems like he had thought his confession through up to the point of "hm, maybe if i explain it really well, they'll accept me as the dread wolf, and the necessity of my plan? and we'll be together :)" without planning any further steps fhsjsgjf
so then he goes "oh, fuck. nevermind. what if i just stay as solas the Normal Apostate™ a bit longer. but, i need SOME pretext about why we're even here, or what 'the truth' is that i'm telling them. uhhhh... the vallaslin are... removable?" out of reflex.
then that's, once again:
lying, and with the expectation that he'd have to keep lying even longer.
encouraging lavellan to change an integral part of themselves, when they trust him deeply.
which is STILL very mythal-esque, or possibly dread wolf vs his foes type of behaviour, and it's towards someone that he loves! even when he's trying to be solas the Normal Apostate™. incredible. then solas either takes off the vallaslin, and realizes that he's altered lavellan further on false pretenses; or lavellan refuses, and he realizes that he's asked them to change themselves, still on false pretenses. and then he decides that it's Joever and there's no way to remain in the relationship that preserves his ethics. presumably, the fact that he killed felassan for showing 2% of this emotional bias towards mortals, is also weighing on him throughout.
BUT. then he does say afterwards that "everything will be made clear once corypheus is defeated". which is a pretty douchey thing to say if he expects to take the orb, and then for lavellan to like... die in the veilfall immediately? hdjsjfhsf. so to me, that seems like he had an intention to retake the anchor, and then tear down the veil and reveal his identity, and expected lavellan to still be alive afterwards to see it. and then they would no longer be magically attached to him, so at least that would equalize the situation a bit.
but then the orb breaks too! so, he has to slink off with 0 additional clarity to lavellan beyond saying "ough... what we had was real 🥺" before going to kill mythal himself. absolute trainwreck of a breakup.
So... i love them very much
my favorite part of heated rivalry is the playing and companionship and the having fun together and watching that intensify as they learn each other. At this point I'm watching it like I'm studying the fundamentals of human interaction and narrating every exchange between Shane and Ilya like a sports commentator "okay now he is making a bid for connection... aaannnndd it's reciprocated!!! okay they're playing!!! they're flirting!!! they're taking delight in each other's company!!!" and of course the growing pains of the bids being rejected or misunderstood as they watch each other grow up and are figuring out themselves and the world and then getting to the place of "okay now Ilya is experiencing an emotional burden too large to carry alone... and Shane is helping him hold the weight of it!!! they're supporting each other!!! they're making the world a gentler place for each other!!!!" and also they have gorgeous fulfilling sex. hello????
honestly, narrating shane and ilya's connection like a sports commentator is the Right Way to consume their romance
just feels correct
Meeting The Red Prince Divinity Original Sin II 27 / ?
I'm always feeling particularly frivolous
“i asked chatgpt—”
ok well i asked the cryptic fucking dragon that was imprisoned underground 20 years ago and he told me that no one can choose or escape their destiny so. he may have also told me i have a soulmate in the guy whose guts i hate but i dont really have time to think about that right now
honestly it's a toss up between the two on who gives worse advice
Dragon Age as a media franchise is so good at ignoring it's own implications, that if you start to pick apart the world building, the brain worms get you and you are trapped here forever.
hello it's me im stuck here
heated rivalry has been like the reintroduction of wolves in yellowstone for this website
Happy holidays everybody!
Don't know if you've gotten this question before, but why did Bhaal throw DU Drow into the Underdark and make him look like... well, a drow (even though he's obviously Not)?
Is there any particular "lore" reason for that or was it just an aesthetic decision you made on a whim in character creation?
I feel like this question can be more accurately answered not by character lore, but by a dramatization of the real life events that took place sometime in late 2023:
"Oh boy here I go play this Totally Legal Copy of the video game Balder Gates 3, but for only exactly the amount of time that it takes until I can find and pet a talking cat, and not a minute longer."
"Okay this must be the Custom Character option since it's the only one that allows me to edit my little guy."
"Nah man I'm in a rush to pet some kitties. Pass."
"Now this dragon they randomized for me is pretty neat but where's the Cool Evil Elf."
"Can I super-size it"
"Oh hell yeah."
"Since I'm not a nerd I better pick the most bone-headed class possible or I will never pet those damn cats."
"I mean the face and hair are fine but this Evil Elf isn't looking very evil to me."
"Much better"
"🤷"
"There I am in some... Weird Scorn-like contraption. Man that outfit is bad, I'm taking that off immediately."
".....Huh."
"I feel like I may have skipped past something important."
"Oh I have the funniest little pout though. Man I can't WAIT to talk to some cats."
rewatching atla. love those little 2d freaks
Headcanon that sokka is always very affectionate but doubles it down when they're in his village
so heres some sketches of clingy sokka with the Gaang all in the Southern Water Tribe hehe
he was bracing himself for bad news
When the Wolf visited her for one last time....
This is the sequel from regret prison comic, you can read it here