Self-care motivation loophole: Treat yourself like a queer-coded yet endearing villain.
The evil scheme: To keep this person alive and in some state of functionality in every aspect of their life. And soon... very soon they will thrive! Thrive I say! Mwahahahaha!
Personal grooming: I need to look my best while implementing my evil plans of self-preservation, and this is in fact one of the first steps in that plan.
Putting actual thought into how I dress? I dress to feel confident and to intimidate my foes, not to conform to arbitrary standards of gender. So long as it is appropriate for the occasion and looks good, I can do what I want.
Keeping my space clean? An evil lair needs to be pristine for conducting experiments and seducing other villains whose long-term evil schemes align well with my own.
Searching for a romantic partner in villainy? I must remember that no villain is perfect, that what really matters is their readiness to grow in evil with me and that our long-term schemes should be compatible. While compromise in the collaborative process is inevitable, I will not settle for someone who tries to replace my scheme with their own.
Going out to socialize? I go out of my way to study etiquette. If I am going to be evil, I may as well be polite. It quietly commands the respect of underlings and potential henchfolk, as well as pissing off annoying heroes through maintaining some moral high ground.
Canceling plans? Telling people no? Setting boundaries? My time and energy are valuable and so long as I am not breaking a serious contract, they can figure something out.
Going out with people I actually like and connect to? Every villain needs other villains to discuss evil schemes and maniacally laugh with, not to mention blowing off steam about the heroes you put up with.
Waking up early? I have important evil business to attend to, like exercising and completing my work on time and making moderately healthy food.
Sleeping in? A powerful villain such as myself needs their beauty rest. A day of indulgence is necessary every so often to avert villain-burnout.
Completing tasks on time? Any villain worth their salt always plans several steps ahead and gets things done on time. Just because heroes are up all night wondering what's going to happen next does not mean I have to be.
Doing well at my job/in school? Hahaha! I have successfully infiltrated the world of functioning citizens! I have tricked them all into thinking I am one of them! And not one of them suspects a thing!
I'll add more if I think of any, but yeah. If you have been conditioned into trying to take up less space and that taking care of yourself is selfish, it can take a lot of energy to deconstruct that in your mind. While I hope to get to a place where setting boundaries and getting enough sleep and all of that are not associated with amorality, for the time being it is easier to own it in a way. Like, yes! I am planning several weeks ahead and getting things done on time and taking care of myself and setting boundaries with people! I'm so evil.
Also, if it not obvious, hero in this case means those types of people who expect you and others (and often themselves) to overextend yourself to the breaking point. Villains don't do that. Villains take care of themselves and their henchfolk AND still get done what needs to get done.
It is worth noting that all of this can look different for everyone depending on your own tragic backstory and personal style of villainy.
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2087
