I'm me today

Yo, I'm stupid and I'm here

[b1tchcup]

my favorite tweet ever. Every time I go to find it I’m blown away by how few retweets it has

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"taken" style action movie where a man searches for his wife. as he fights baddies in gunfights and hand-to-hand combat, it's slowly revealed that:

his wife hasn't been kidnapped

their marriage is not healthy or functional

this guy isn't rescuing his wife, he's hunting her down

his wife is a crime boss, those are her henchpeople he's fighting in a john-wick bloodbath

the tension builds until, drenched in blood, our protagonist steps forward for the final showdown. he pulls a manila envelope from his bullet-torn jacket and throws it at his wife's feet. he's just spent an entire trilogy biting & killing & maiming....all so he can deliver his shit wife her divorce papers

[penumbriel]

call it Taken… To Court

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#Taken 2: Court

[back-on-my-bullsh-again]

And, for a comedic bit, I want one of the wounded/dying henchmen to just say they're a notary or something and he could have had it done in 5 minutes. And she would have known that had she bothered to get to know the people she employs.

[dragoncarrion]

????

[dragoncarrion]

They're taking over.

[elainiisms]

"that show is queerbaiting" maybe you just aren't evolved enough to appreciate those freaks being homoerotic but i am

[alexbutrandomthoughts]

"Can't two guys be just friends?" If they stop looking at each other like that then sure

[bogleech]

[depsidase]

[cerastes]

All these big companies changing their logos a dozen of times for something that looks worse every time, while the real all-time GOAT found the winning formula on the first try and then even did a victory lap with it:

[bug-swarm]

Nothing! Traffic cones have nothing to do with media players. However they do have to do with the students that original made VLC. The original students used to steal traffic cones when they got drunk together and had amassed a collection of them. So the traffic cone was basically their mascot

[chamiryokuroi]

MEXICO WIN!!! FUCK AI!!!

[lastoneout]

[starlit-meadow]

i miss when subscriptions didnt really exist and you could just pay one time to buy an app or some software, and then just.. have it. without ads. without recurring costs. without more paywalls. it was just yours forever.

[theconcealedweapon]

[soulsty]

For a moment we were just...

We were just creatures in Heaven

[holdoncallfailed]

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to deny location sharing and turn off personalized ads and reject all non-essential cookies and not set up siri and face ID

[ash-rigby]

[ash-rigby]

some additions 👊💥

[anarchistmemedistro]

[thecaptainkindofgirl]

My dad works at Home Depot and this one customer came in trying to return a lawnmower that wouldn’t start. Another employee asked the customer if he had put any gas in it and the customer was outraged, yelling that they should have told him it needed gas (it was in the manual) and the employee told him “Well it doesn’t run on hopes and dreams, sir.” That pissed the guy off more so he called the manager all “Can you believe this guy!? He told me it doesn’t run on hopes and dreams!” and the manager just said “Well, it doesn’t.”

[modogoblin]

[certifiedgirlthing]

[the-quasar-hero]

Ungentrified version

[themainspoon]

[sun--spirit-deactivated20210126]

Only fifty bucks for these rambunctious gals.