Today I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, specifically, Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD, for short). Like many people with the disorder, I didn't seek diagnosis/treatment for years. I've put hundreds of hours of thought over the course of the last few years and worked up the necessary courage to seek treatment.
Social anxiety disorder is a common type of anxiety disorder. A person with social anxiety disorder feels symptoms of anxiety or fear in certain or all social situations, such as meeting new people, dating, being on a job interview, answering a question in class, or having to talk to a cashier in a store. Doing everyday things in front of people—such as eating or drinking in front of others or using a public restroom—also causes anxiety or fear. The person is afraid that he or she will be humiliated, judged, and rejected.
Social anxiety disorder symptoms include:
Feeling highly anxious about being with other people and having a hard time talking to them
Feeling very self-conscious in front of other people and worried about feeling humiliated, embarrassed, or rejected, or fearful of offending others
Being very afraid that other people will judge them
Worrying for days or weeks before an event where other people will be
Staying away from places where there are other people
Having a hard time making friends and keeping friends
Blushing, sweating, or trembling around other people
Feeling nauseous or sick to your stomach when other people are around (source: NIH)
SAD is beyond being shy and quiet; beyond feeling nervous before giving a speech or before a first date. It interferes with my ability to form friendships and relationships; my ability to be "social". It deters self-esteem and exacerbates alienation. It interferes with my life on a daily basis. Although I take responsibility for what I can or cannot accomplish socially, I understand and accept that I am significantly hindered by the disorder.
Many people, knowing this, misunderstanding, will question my choice of profession, being that communication is, arguably, the most prominent function of a nurse. SAD doesn't significantly interfere or impair my work. I do not feel anxious with patients. Families do not cause me any more anxiety than the next nurse. It's a role I've practiced for a few years now. I have, for the most part, overcome the anxieties associated with nursing, and that was by design as it was a secondary reason for me in choosing nursing as a career (primary reasons being: working in the medical field, helping people, etc.). However, being social, making friends, interacting with people beyond work and school, attempting to form intimate relationships: those are roles that cause me significant anxiety.
I'm looking forward to working on myself in this manner with the help of medical professionals. I share this to raise awareness for mental health, although, at my own expense this time. To express that mental disorders are just as real and, many times, just as physical as disorders like diabetes or hypothyroidism. People with mental disorders have no more control over their conditions than people with "physical" ones, but treatment is available.
Treatment for SAD often consists of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (the “hallmark” treatment for SAD; very effective), Exposure Therapy, etc., so I may help rid myself of the cognitive distortions I have woven in my brain and so I may think more rationally, which, in turn, will improve my behavior.
Anxiety disorders affect millions and millions of Americans. SAD, in particular, affects 7% of Americans on a daily basis.
