bukowski's suicide kid

how much remorse is enough

[azaablue]

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

[bucksaiga]

"Gimme Kiss" / "You're cold" ♡

version w/music on insta

[my-castles-crumbling]

What the fuck, why does Monday keep coming back? Like bro, nobody wants you here.

[frontmansdefender]

wigginsgolf on instagram

[thehungrytide]

they've already started with the valentine's heart!!! or it is something else I don't know about. anywhhooooo I love tumblr

[warmer-gaze]

mission success, waiting for pickup

[clementiens]

[joomju]

Reblog so she lives forever.

[terminusverge]

20 years. If this gets posted and we all survive for another 20…things might be alright.

[throwtime]

I’m about to have a fun afternoon.

So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.

She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and… wait for it…. a Navy seal. We’re gonna go get her shit for her.

This should make for an interesting story.

[throwtime]

So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right. That’s what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude’s house. But I’m very proud to say, this ended without violence.

Arrival:

So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker’s explorer and headed over to dude’s house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I’d say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like “FINE. Go take what you’re looking for.”

Retrieval:

So we’re all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn’t even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn’t enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there’s me. Who was causing general mischief…. He said to take what I was looking for, that’s what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I’m a sucker for egg salad.” We were in and out in 15 minutes.

Delivery:

So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl’s spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don’t. She sent us all an email once and didn’t blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?” Nothing. We’re not messenger boys. We’re delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked “Wtf is all that shit.” So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like “So…. chipoltle?” And we all got burrito bowls.

What a great day.

[impling]

I was thinking about this story for no reason and decided I should grace you all with it again.

[dduane]

Always reblog the Epics.

[aspens-treehouse]

Peak masculinity

[thehungrytide]

omg I found it!!! I've only seen this on Pinterest. I encountered the OG!!!!!

[evengirlierballs]

welcome to 2023 :) happy out of touch thursday

[transgendercyborg-deactivated20]

[mid-maryland]

[give-grian-rights]

happy holiday to those who celebrate

[fizziigoth]

First day of 2026 is out of touch Thursday - this better be a good fckn year

[thehungrytide]

oh my god! It's a snowman!!! I love Tumblr!!!

[panerasexual-deactivated2017100]

drop whatever you’re doing right now and climb a tree

[nintendowii2011]

its pitch black outside, and freezing cold. I think ill climb a tree tomorrow

[panerasexual-deactivated2017100]

you climb that fuckin tree right now

[likes-dinos]

I’ve literally never seen this post on my dash when it is not after dark and cold as balls. I’m beginning to think this is a conspiracy to get us eaten by some nocturnal tree demon.

[the-place-where]

everybody put in the tags at what time you saw this

[bintro]

​i’m such a fake idgafer everything bothers me tbh

[thehungrytide]

can't even kill myself because my parents will be disappointed that i took the easy way out instead of working hard and succeeding

[alwaystightrope]

[tazikiki]

I am a Steve Rogers defender in the "Civil War Ruined the MCU Fandom and I Cannot Stand how Steve is Constantly Mischaracterized and Vilified by Fans to Make Other Characters Look Better" way,

NOT a "Steve was the Only True Captain America and Sam Should have Stayed The Falcon" way.

[ophanic]

props to stem people wtf! i can bullshit my way through any english essay because literally u just have to say stuff. but for stem paper u have to say stuff AND it has to be true. wack. 

[luckysovreign]

props to hums people wtf! i can bullshit my way through any stem essay because literally u just have to repeat stuff. but for a hums paper u have to say stuff AND it has to be new stuff from your brain. wack. 

[jeaniefranklins]

#FINALLY the solidarity we need to defeat business majors

[jnsmine]

ARE YOU TODAY’S DATE?

BECAUSE YOURE 10/10

[jnsmine]

i’ve waited one year to reblog this

[charlesoberonn]