aka Nyarlathotep - Somewhere East of the Sun. West of the Moon.
@terminusverge
Things I am doing: more than likely working on my book (about architecure) after my countless (mis)adventures around the world. But not every adventure is worth recording, I have found. Living a charmed but not charming life...still. I would like to remind you that the colour of hope is not always the sign of goodness. Collector of masks (thanks for that mom). Sometimes known as "The Time Being". Monster (affectionate) to my friends and I have no enemies, they are all dead. Cognitohazard. IRL Emet Selch. And finally, I personally prefer embodying three truths: one ineluctable, one debatable and one incomprehensible. P.S. I am not the Pope.
If this is the first time we are interacting, then "Hello! Nice to meet you." Otherwise, it is probably because I used to follow you on my old tumblr and am back. Speaking of back, no obligation to follow me back (not counting the accidental follow on mobile, which has gotten me at least one new friend though). I may follow and unfollow randomly due to forgetting why I followed someone or even who that person is/was. No offense meant, just sometimes memories slip through the cracks and wander off. Times have changed, you may have changed as well. Me? I am sitll the one with "many names and a singular nature", so there is that.
Of those names the one I recall using here the most was void-liminality (yes the same name I once had on the unfriendly bird site. I may have changed it from a different name. Will have to search my archives. More on that in the next paragraph.)
But wait, you may ask, "How did this person even remember or know who I am now after nearly a decade?!"
Well, you see...even though I ditched my tumblr (I had a stalker or two...one of which was my employer at the time and tumblr had much less robust features to shield from that) I kept every single notification I got just to remember what I had here. And have an extensive archive of my own blog to boot.
Every reblog. Every ask. Every follow notification. Why yes, yes I am a bit of a sentimental fool at times, why do you ask?
So hey there, nice to meet you all. Again.
The mortality of other people (and myself) is weighing on my mind lately.
Update the first - sometime in 2024 -
30+ years is a long time to know someone, to be certain, but...it was not, is not, and never will be long enough. Same with the person (my mom) I knew for 40+ years passed. And 50+ (my aunt recently) ...and so on.
Some of you I could know for 1000+ years and I would still want for one more day with you. And then another. And still more until the sun cools to a brown dwarf.
Amusingly (morbidly so sometimes), the way things are going, no one living now that knows me is ever going to get the chance to feel this way about me.
HOWEVER, when I finally perish, please name a shrub after me: something hardy, durable, prickly, and hard to eradicate.
Update the second - sometime in 2025 -
Since all the cool kids are doing it: my name is a reference to my (nuked/placeholder) twitter handle, which is a reference to an older handle (one of which I used on my old tumblr), which is a reference to my LiveJournal name (iykyk). All of which is a reference to the the fact that Death constantly has near me encounters since birth.
While I will not joke about suicide or anything of the sort, I will make occasional reference to the fact that by all accounts I should not be here. To the point that I have been and probably still am a subject in medical and psychology journals. At least two exes wanted to go the mad scientist route and study me "FOR SCIENCE!"...they only half joked about that being why they were dating me no less. That is not even counting the two people I was close to that went into the mortuary biz just to be the one to handle my body when I eventually died…only for both of them to pass long before me. Hey you two, I am still here…and you are not.
Anwyay, I might have more than a bit of experience with pulling one's self back from the point of no return and finding something worth living for...if you ever need someone to talk to. I will ask for a bit of patience on the reply as, against all odds, I am out here living life and enjoying it.
Ok so lemme get this straight the boys get advertised their body weight in protein powder and girls are told to get by on uncooked foliage and I’m supposed to believe that the observed differences in gender are strictly because of sex chromosomes with no cultural influence at all uh huh sure hey buddy what kind of idiot
oh like how sarcopenia (muscle loss) and the associated osteoporosis effects women significantly more than men? and we dont really talk about why, we just assume its biological? like yes okay it has to do with estrogen but HAVE WE NOT COMSIDERED. THAT WOMEN ARE TOLD TO EAT SALADS. AND MEN ARE TOLD TO SUBSIST PURELY ON TOMAHAWK STEAKS. and then men are at a higher risk of cholesterol issues and heart failure in later age HMMMMMMM.
blocking tip: you don't have to wait to have a negative interaction with someone to block them. you can block them without ever interacting with them. I can't tell you how many times I've seen someone being rude to someone else and preemptively blocked them
blows my mind that cheetahs are apex predators. that is the single most anxious creature I have ever seen. at any given moment a cheetah is exactly one stubbed paw away from bursting into tears. that is a sad dripping wet animal, and it's at the top of the local food chain? babygirl what happened
cheetahs regularly get bullied by lions, hyenas, crocodiles, and baboons
multiple people think this means cheetahs aren't an apex predator/belong lower on the food chain
which is how I learned humans equate social status with position on the food chain. (which is nonsense to anyone who's ever met, for instance, a moose)
an apex predator is just a predator without natural predators of its own. you can be an anxious pathetic mess, but if you're not getting eaten by your neighbors, congrats! you're an apex predator.
i look it up to make sure cheetahs are apex predators
I find out it's not uncommon for cheetah cubs (and very occasionally adults) to be eaten by lions, leopards, hyneas, and even eagles???
well that sure calls into question their apex predator status. out of curiosity i check to see if there are any animals that hunt lions
this is how I discover that cheetahs, lions, hyenas, and leopards will all eat each other's children if presented with an easy opportunity (and sometimes young/elderly/injured adults)
begining to wonder how useful 'apex predator' is as a term
in conclusion, cheetahs are so fast because they are fueled by Grade A+ Ultra Concentrated Anxiety and they need that speed to run away from their problems
Outdoor cat owners have no concept of basic ecology and it shows. "You're saying my kitty is EVIL for following its instincts???????" obviously not, you idiot, its an animal. I don't blame it because it is designed to hunt and doesn't understand human morality. The cat's human owner, though, should stop pretending that millions of people letting their pets hunt native species for fun WON'T make their ecossystem collapse. If you stop hearing birdsong in your neighborhood its your fault 👍.
Also cats are domestic animals????? Its your pet. Its your responsability to take care of it and it certainly doesn't look like you are doing this if your pet spends 90% of the day on the streets. Outside cats are in great risk for being ran over, stolen, beaten, poisoned, mauled or eaten by wild animals. A mildly bored cat is way better than a dead one and besides? Just offer your pet enrichment. You don't need to risk its life to keep it happy. You can even let it outside with supervision!! Look how many options we have. Insisting the only way to keep your cat happy is allowing it to wreck the environment and possibly die is not only fucking irresponsible, but also lazy and shows that you don't really care for the wildlife around you.
People in the notes need to shut the hell up about ai datacenters this is about the US military which you people are clearly not the true victims of so please fuck off and make your own post somewhere I'm not gonna see it.
USAmericans will really see a post about the harm they cause and go "is no one gonna talk about how I'm the real victim here? 🥺" And NOT wait for an answer
its all 'be gay do crime' until a black person starts making allusions to drugs or sex or god forbid VIOLENCE and then it turns out nobody can handle anything more hardcore than downloading illegal torrents of hamilton
This post is about racism. This post is about racism and antiblackness. This post is not about how cool YOU are for doing crimes or about how much you hate 'antis' or how bad tesla sucks. This post is about how ostensibly progressive white people will clutch pearls and moralize about not listening to rap or engaging with black art or culture because it seemingly condones drugs, or violence, or is overly sexual, while having no issue with those topics in other, non-black contexts. There are conversations to be had about the topics surrounding this but in the meantime the original post is One Sentence and I'm not convinced most of the commenters in the past few days even read it.
Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.
At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.
At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.
“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.
The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.
I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.
I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.
I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht.
i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.
i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.
as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.
disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.
at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.
i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.
i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.
