Eat My Entire Ass

[lakemojave]

Hi honey how was your day at the gaslighting factory?

[the-vaudevillain-deactivated202]

ive never worked there. stop saying i work there

[thebonewitch]

Honey, remember what your union rep said about working off the clock

[teaboot]

I genuinely believe that the new SW trilogy wouldn’t have flopped out into irrelevance like it did if they hadn’t dumped Finn on the side of the freeway like a new pet rabbit the week after easter

[teaboot]

Anyway in my heart Finn became a Jedi alongside Rey and inspired a Stormtrooper insurrection and Kyle Ron went back to his mom like he should have day fucking one and that angry redhead dude blew up with the star destroyer and Poe got to make it happen and at the end Rey doesn’t give a shit who her bitch ass non-palpatine parents might have been because she gets her new family like she needed and palpatine stays dead at the bottom of his musty hole like he should have and Finn and Poe give each other approximately 130% the amount of lingering meaningful looks and then one of their run-together-to-reunite moments results in a heat-of-the-moment make out like it should have and Luke and Leia meet in person a minimum of once so she can sibling slap him at least once for being a useless dramatic old hermit for a billion years and tell him to get the Chanel boots back on and stop being a sad hobo and then for no reason at all there is an ewok style moon of Endor forest party at the end like God intended

[little-onion-heart]

[eccebitch]

[altrbody]

Fabio Viale, marble sculpture.

[hereforthefunnyguys]

[technicalzombie]

now this is modern art i love

[toskarin]

thanks google

[rollerska8er]

there's 👏 still 👏 time 👏

[jewish-microwave-laser]

[walrusberries]

[asingularcanadian]

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[asingularcanadian]

my sister does this thing where anytime anyone names an American city she will go "ah, the windy city" i do something similar where someone will mention just about any state or province and ill go "ah, big sky country"

Also saying "like hell you will" in a dramatic fashion when someone says they're going to do something utterly benign. Bonus points if you follow it up with a brief and ridiculous scenario of how you're gonna keep them from completing whatever it was they were going to do.

[partywithponies]

I love vague labels that make people go "but that's confusing" or "but that could mean anything" Good. Keep guessing lol

[partywithponies]

"Queer doesn't actually tell me anything" who says I wanted to tell you anything. Who even are you.

[livethrushit]

[tiktokarchive]

[birdsareblooming]

[lizzienoodles]

guy who's having gauzy idealized wife flashbacks for the whole adventure but it turns out she isn't dead or anything he just really misses her and wants to get home

[luce-er]

my breakfast sandwich just blasted thick ropes onto my keyboard fuck my life. She might as well be smoking a cigarette right now look at this

[weirdgirlass]

I barely even bit her and she came all over the place. Whore.

[i-like-forcefem]

[tatdritt]

@funnier-when-objectum

[funny-tik-toks]

[kayas-wife]

this is from an Australian youtube channel where they go to hat tower and drop things

[white-throated-packrat]

Water doesn’t compress very much, so once it hit it’s terminal velocity, it was basically a solid ball, not a liquid. This is why you can use water to cut things if you have a high enough pressurized jet of it.

[gigglingkat]

The reverse POV of “if you’re too high, hitting the water is like hitting concrete”

[bitchassslytherinsnakery]

Well that's not in one piece anymore

[oneheadtoanother]

[beatrice-of-the-stars]

This shit reads like a tumblr post

[vermilionstarlight]

the beach that. makes you dead

[tastylemonbread]

[evilwizard]

say no more

[warumin]

[felixfeliccis]

Preach I guess

[felixfeliccis]

OH I HAVE MISUNDERSTOOD

[fatsexybitch]

[nick-nonya]