Ah, so you think that men are the 'REAL' victims of sexism...
Yes, I believe that men are victims of sexism. I also think that women are victims of sexism. I donât believe that there is a such a thing as one group being the ârealâ victims.
In fact, I find the whole idea of there being ârealâ victims very problematic indeed. You see, it implies that there are victims who arenât real victims, people whose experiences donât matter. People who we can erase and speak over. It suggests that we should only pay attention to those people who are hurt the most. We should find out which side suffers more, and ignore everybody else.
But itâs not even as if different experiences can be compared in this way, and it would certainly be wrong to censor one. Especially on gender lines, especially when we are talking about gender equality. We canât ignore a gender which represents half of the worldâs population when we are talking about gender. We canât only listen to one sex when discussing sexism. It is entirely possible for men to never notice that women suffer from sexism, because it doesnât affect them. It is entirely possible for women to never notice that men suffer from sexism, because it doesnât affect them. We have to listen to as wide a range of views as possible. We have to keep an open mind, and never turn away somebody who needs our help. All sexism is sexism, and we cannot say that one half is âmore realâ than the other.
The idea doesnât even make sense. We now understand sexism to be the simple enforcement of a gender binary. We can see such a binary in many different animals, and our close relatives the chimpanzees have a similar one to ours. Gender roles are divided up along this binary.
Men are forced, often against their will, into the male role. Primatively this means that they will be expected to fight for dominance within the society, fight other societies to protect theirs, and to toil for protection and feeding rights for their family within the society. In more modern Western society this translated to being expected to vote and struggle in big business and politics, being judged and objectified on how much wealth and power they had in order to attract a women (whom they must also court), whilst not being allowed to be poor or weak as they would then be âless of a manâ. It translated to being expected to die for their country in many wars, a gender role which has killed millions of men throughout history simply because they are men. It translated to being expected to labour for money and food for their entire family, sacrificing their own happiness and health to ensure the survival of the unit and the next generation. These are expectations which we understand to have been evolved naturally, because they were beneficial to the society and to the families carrying these genes.
Women are forced, often against their will, into the female role. Primatively this means that they will be expected to ensure the delivery of the next generation, to care for those who cannot care for themselves, and to co-ordinate social stability. In more modern Western society this translated to being expected to marry and bear the child of a rich and successful man to ensure the future of the family, and to be objectified and valued based on appearance and sophistication to attract such a man. It translated to being expected to nurture and educate children, to support the elderly, and to treat the wounded. It translated to being expected to keep the home clean and functioning, and eschewing work to spend more effort raising the personal social standing of the family. These are expectations which we understand to have been evolved naturally, because they were beneficial to the society and to the families carrying these genes.
The binary restricted men from entering the female role and raised impossible standards for them within the male role. The binary restricted women from entering the male role and raised impossible standards for them within the female role. Non-binaries, meanwhile, we erased and deemed impossible.
This model makes sense. It accounts for all experiences of sexism. It accounts for apparent natural sexism in other species. It accounts for the variance of gender roles between cultures. It does not designate a ârealâ victim of sexism. All of these groups have indubitably been oppressed by the patriarchal gender binary. There is no need to focus on one group as the more oppressed, and it is in fact impossible to do so as although there are clear parallels the suffering on different levels cannot be compared. There is no need to focus on one group as the oppressor, for although it would be convenient to have a scapegoat to blame, the natural explanation is the only true fit to the facts. The binary developed naturally as it was previously beneficial, and as such it has been perpetuated by all ends of society. That is an overly simplistic view, and it is an outdated one.
No, this new model is not disproved by suggesting an example of women being disadvantaged, because it acknowledges that this exists and asks that we fight against it. The only difference is that it asks for us to fight against male suffering as well.
No, this new model is not disproved by suggesting an example of men being advantaged, because it acknowledges that this exists and asks that we take it into account. The only difference is that it asks for us to take female advantages into account as well.
So please, no, do not quote one stereotype and refuse to consider the parallel. Do not refer to one injustice and close your eyes to those which befall others. There is no ârealâ sexism and non-real sexism. There is only sexism, and we should fight it whether it hurts us or whether it hurts others. We should fight it whether it fits into our agenda or not, whether it calls our ideology into question or not, whether it challenges our dogma or not. We should keep and open mind, and only make one thing certain: sexism is sexism, and it is wrong. It does not require political power, but the binary, as enforced by all society, is power enough to cause it. We cannot therefore look to male leaders as the cause, as these men are only in power because the binary tells us that men should be leaders and need power to be men, not the reverse. No political leader can eliminate or create sexism overnight. No political leader can truly control our subconscious bias, though many have tried. This is a binary that we have evolved with. Do not look at men in power and assume an evil conspiracy of men must exist, perhaps owning great factories where slaves craft big blocks of sexism, with which they can realise their wicked plans of world domination. This is the fantasy of a simple mind, a mind which would rather have somebody to attack than more people to defend. This is not the mind of an egalitarian. Men, women, and non-binaries are all repressed, supressed, and oppressed by the enforcement of a gender binary, and yet they have all equally helped to enforce it through passing on their ingrained bias.
The old model, the simplistic model, still attempts to pass on this bias. It sees men as powerful and violent, and women as weak and innocent. It assumes that men must have created this binary single handedly, and that only women can be hurt by its touch. It is a model created by those with a bias, and it is a model which erases the experiences of everybody who is not a cis women. In most elaborate versions of the model, it also erases those who arenât white, middle-class, able-bodied, and of the correct religion. This is not an egalitarian model. It is an old model, it served its purpose in raising attention through simplicity, but it is now obsolete. We understand these things better now, and it is time to give a voice to those who have not yet had a chance to tell their stories. Equality needs to be universal, and for too long one narrow section of the population have controlled all of the teaching, all of the dogma, all of the campaigns. They have written books outlining the old model, the model which is seen from a single perspective. A cube from one side might only seem like a square, a cylinder can be either rectangle or circle. A binary may from one end only appear to be oppressing one group, as this group will only have experienced their own oppression. When other groups speak up, they are not claiming that they are âthe real victimsâ. They only wish to be acknowledged as victims at all. They only want the same thing we allegedly do. Equality.
This is the biggest of pictures, and if we are truly to understand it then we need as many perspectives as we can get. The first wave of feminism did not understand how deep sexism ran in our society, only attacking a few injust laws. The second wave of feminism did not understand how deep sexism ran in our society, and only defended a select group of white women. The third wave of feminism is now telling us âbut sexism doesnât run that deepâ, and continues to only listen to one gender on gender equality. The fourth wave knows that it is not perfect, but it understands because it listens, and it listens because it understands. It is not equality itself, but it is one step further, and there is one thing is knows for certain.
We cannot have freedom from sexism if we are sexist ourselves.
There are no ârealâ victims, and there are no ârealâ perpetrators, but there is real equality. Fourth wave.
areudirty
titsay
