Hello!

I'm Morgan from Aotearoa, the land of the long white cloud (aka New Zealand)

[mishha]

THE GOOD PLACE (2016-2020)

1.03 “Tahani Al-Jamil”

[howelljenkins]

having to come to terms with the fact that love is not an everlasting performance in which you attempt to retain the attention of your significant other but rather a release of control and putting faith into them and trusting them to choose to stay with you no matter what you have to offer

[philosoverted-deactivated202006]

Do you ever lie awake wondering how the heck Gimli knows what a nervous system is

[systlin]

Clearly dwarves have medical knowledge far more advanced than that of the other races.

[gallusrostromegalus]

His Majesty Dr. Gimli, son of Gloin, Neurosurgeon, M.D.

[filthyprotozoan]

gimli trying to explain his studies to legolas, a flat-earther

[hubris-i]

#*scroll down* #*remember that middle earth is canonically flat for elves and round for everyone else* #*scroll back up & smash that reblog button"

[fridge246]

tired: legolas took gimli to valinor with him because they were bffs/in love/etc. 

wired: legolas took gimli to valinor to prove the world was flat after arguing with him about it for decades

[jemthecrystalgem]

Sorry it’s what to elves

[dvandom]

So, in Tolkein lore, the world was originally flat, with most of the land in the middle (hence Middle Earth).  But the Numenorians (men who were rewarded with their own Atlantis-equivalent island for service in the first big war against Melkor, but eventually Power Corrupts etc) tried to invade the uttermost west which was basically Elf Heaven.  To put an end to that sort of thing, the creator of the world Bent The World and made it a sphere…but left elves able to treat it like a flat disk.  So elves can sail west and reach Elf Heaven, but a man or dwarf or hobbit who sails west will eventually wrap around to the east coast of Middle Earth.

[moomoobooboo-deactivated2020102]

This is why Legolas can see for such great, almost impossible distances. The Earth does not curve for him.

[endreal]

Legolas said fuck the horizon

[nathanielthecurious]

i think you should be allowed to cite scholars who are bad people but only if you put the word (oof) or (yikes) after their name

like Parker (yikes, 1989) or Obbink (big oof, 2007)

[kaceycat]

Freud (derogatory, 1923)

[punstars]

[ding-dong-the-bitch-is-dead]

How dare you make me read this with my own two eyes

[zlink]

lil nas x finding out he’s an industry plant

[graveconversations]

frankly clarice, i don’t give a lamb

[uncahier]

[anyataylorjoy]

Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of Men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the Age of Men comes crashing down. But it is not this day. This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West! 

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King 2003, dir. Peter Jackson

[lesbi3nne-deactivated20210707]

i just need to be held for like 4 days.. minimum

[draconym]

Found a dozen eggs in the middle of the woods. Still cold even though it's a hundred degrees outside. Is this a faerie trick?

[draconym]

My coworkers to me this morning: Oh, glad to see you're still alive!

Me: After getting stung by wasps?

Them: No, after eating Bush Eggs.

[lemon-bastard-deactivated202110]

excuse me tumblr user Draconym? you belong to the Fae now

[draconym]

I didn't eat all twelve eggs because I gave one to my bird; surely that should protect me at least somewhat from being bound by the Fairy Queen?

[draconym]

Everyone's supportive when life gives you lemons but then as soon as the forest starts handing out eggs everybody's a critic

[monstersandmaw]

I laughed so hard at this. The Fae are probably just standing there with their mouths open and the sheer and beautiful audacity of you feeding their ‘gift’ failed trap to your beautiful birb.

[imalwaysaslutforthevoid]

i’d say that since op only ate 11/12 they belong to the fae 11 months of the year, the other month is when they get op’s bird

[draconym]

I give it a week before the fae send him back

[theriddlerisanerd]

They dropped this on us as if we knew about the Diet Coke button

[thestraggletag]

I'm tired of googling nonsensical Donald Trump posts only to find out they're true.

[dotty-literati]

[hugtheteadrinkthekitten]

[borzoiboogers]

[demonic-mnemonic]

Are you fucking telling me that 'diet coke button' wasn't just someone's shitpost? Is that what you're telling me? Is that

JFHZTFLHJXHXJ

I'm...i just.. I'm gonna go commit a felony, i don't even care which one

[meladoodle]

this is my favourite poem

[programmerhumour]

Google Assistant

[jaubaius]

Diver convince octopus to trade his plastic cup for a seashell

[waffilicious]

imagine if a fuckin……. giant alien just showed up and stuck a huge hand in front of your face and then proceeded to offer you three different houses and wouldn’t stop until you moved out of your old shitty apartment and then helped you fuckin move

and then just left

[exceptionalcelestial]

oftentimes when you look back on media you enjoyed as a child it's like hello why did they let a 14 year old fight a dragon? but star wars holds up. luke is 19. his reaction to losing his whole family is to say "alright, let's do this. I'm gonna learn to meditate and hire a sexy drug dealer and his friend who's a furry to be my uber across the galaxy so I can blow up a fascist government" that's something only a 19 y/o would do

[catchymemes]

[grabnok]

5 minutes into the 1 minute plank and your buddy says “45 seconds”

[babyanimalgifs]

This praying mantis standing its ground 

(via)

[dustflier-deactivated20210913]

The thing about this that absolutely kills me is the person operating the excavator is gently trying to shoo the mantis away with the giant machine and the mantis is still trying to pick a fight with it