The Real Mothman

when can i sleep

[mishmash-webster]

just had an amazing sleep paralysis experience wherein i looked above my bed and there was a green prompt box thing that said “reveal ghost” and of course my dumbass clicked on it and scary eyes slowly faded in as i tried to squirm around in fear and couldnt move like. man thats stupid you deserve whatever happens to you at that point

[misericordiia]

gen z deadbeat father who left to get oat milk and a vape

[animentality]

[hedwig-dordt]

Honestly, I don't remember when I started agreeing with the Vatican on important issues and yet here we are

[hajsndskskmsnxndn-deactivated20]

happy international women's day

[piratedllama-art]

Quarters only, please [x]

(done in procreate)

[wanderingnelipot]

[despazito]

[dreamsy990]

[infectiouspiss]

everyone line up i've got one bottle of testosterone gel and there's 17,000 of you i'm about to pull a move not seen since jesus did the bread and fish glitch 2000 years ago

[sporeblossom]

gonna tell my kids this was bridgerton

[butchdykekondraki-moved]

[the-fantastic-mrs-fuck]

these fucking tags 😭

[floristicgrave]

[wesandresons]

are you ready to die white boy

[bisexualcreature-deactivated202]

lvl 1: the plural of octopus is octopuses because the plural version of a word is the word with an s at the end

lvl 2: the plural version of octopus is octopi because if a word ends with "us" the plural version replaces the "us" with "i" e.g. cactus -> cacti and fungus -> fungi

lvl 3: actually, that rule is only for latin words. octopus is a greek word and the correct plural is octopuses or octopodes

lvl 4: actually, language is descriptive not prescriptive. since enough people over time have used octopi as the plural for octopus, it's a valid plural

lvl 5: the plural of octopus is octopeese, like geese

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Lvl 6: My Marine Biology professor told me it was technically “Octopods” to bring it in line with “Cephalopod,” but that if the class is falling asleep you can call them “Octopussies”

[hottestroadkill]

i think chris flemings is one of the only comedians thats going to get into heaven

[bowelfly]

Molumbo

[kingcriccket]

you CANNOT read too much old timey fiction because I was playing Raft with the lads this morning and without a THOUGHT said we could sail over to another island "if the wind would consent to blow" & let me tell you. This did not pass by unremarked.

[rainyydoves]

[raccoonmilf]

I was reading though my old diary and it’s like…

Girlypop, you were actively dying of scurvy. Like a pirate.

[raccoonmilf]

This was also how I realized that the man who would shake up and then bite into cans of carbonated koolaid like a deranged vampire before putting them to my mouth was actually keeping me alive. And when he moved out and the koolaid supply dried up, I literally had 0 vitamin C intake and got severe scurvy.

[cyber-newtype]

(in the middle of a heartfelt conversation, with concerning sincerity) and dont forget that I am evil, and that my death will be announced with singing in the streets