Luo Binghe remembers the teeth of Shrieking Fire Lizard. Full mouth of them, in too many rows to count, and each as sharp as a tiny, venomous sword. He remembers the way those teeth clenched around his thigh, cutting and burning and tearing at his skin and flesh.
And yet, none of it hurt as much as seeing his shizun, clad in brilliant crimson robes, getting married to another man.
Back in the Abyss, he tore the Shrieking Fire Lizard away, only for dozens more to appear, seemingly out of nowhere, latching at him, melting his hair and eating him alive. Those wounds took the longest time to heal.
Will he be able to heal from the sight of Liu Qingge, landing effortlessly next to a bamboo house, wearing all red? Luo Binghe isnāt so sure.
Liu Qingge looks serious, as he always does, but his eyes, fixed on Shen Qingqiu, betray his feelings. Luo Binghe wonders if his shizun looks at the Bai Zhan brute with the same expression. He wonders if he even wants to know.
At this point, Luo Binghe is almost thankful for his position ā being hidden behind the thick bamboo, only seeing shizunās back. He might not handle it well, if he sees the person he aches for being happy with someone as undeserving, as-
āLetās get this over with.ā He hears Shen Qingqiuās voice, weak and tired, but still easily recognizable to him, even through the quiet, nervous chatter of gathered Peak Lords.
Itās enough for Luo Binghe to act. He tears through bamboo, straightens his shoulders, and strides confidently in the direction of the small crowd. He feels the phantom pain in his chest, right where his only scar is located. His heart is beating too hard and too fast. Years in hell, crying and begging and raging, and now, now he will see the face of the person who sent him there. The face of his shizun, who seemingly moved on, cast him aside like the trash he is, but.
But there was something in his voice, something that got Luo Bingheās feet moving on their own.
And there is something in Luo Bingheās chest that is burning and it wonāt be soothed by anything but his shizun.
If shizun is happy with what is undeniably a quickly made up wedding, will Luo Binghe let it happen? Come back another day to ask his questions and demand his answers?
His aching, burning heart is beating so fast. His eyes threaten to overflow with either tears or red glow.
It was supposed to be me, he canāt help but think, you were supposed to marry me.
He will not let shizun get married, Luo Binghe realizes. He might have to kill Liu Qingge, if it comes to that.
Shen Qingqiu is not the first to notice him. Yue Qingyuan gives him a surprised look, dimmed eyes widening for a second. Liu Qinggeās frown deepens.
āArenāt you dead?ā He asks in his usual, idiotic manner.
Luo Binghe doesnāt answer. Because, hearing Liu Qingge say that, Shen Qingqiu starts to turn.
A breath, a moment and Luo Binghe will see him. He feels starved and half crazed.
āShizun,ā Luo Binghe says, āIs this one late to celebration?ā
A sharp intake of air and suddenly Luo Binghe is, once again, a sole proprietor of those green eyes. Theyāre the only thing he sees for a short, dizzying moment. Then, he blinks and lets himself look at his shizun, really look at him.
He almost wishes he didnāt.