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Esther | she/her | early 20s | questioning | Not NT or American | here to post about things I like (including cats and art) and important real world stuff. no TERFs or bigots of any kind allowed. I'll block you if I don't want you interacting with my blog.

[spockvarietyhour]

Star Trek The Next Generation "Encounter at Farpoint" (1987)

[kenta-nikki]

まったりツーショット

[theconcealedweapon]

Stop teaching your children "if someone doesn't like you, there must be something wrong with them".

If your child struggles to make friends and feels like there must be something wrong with them because of it, it can be tempting to reassure them that there's instead something wrong with the people who don't like them.

But lying to boost their confidence will only further throw off their ability to connect with others.

Everyone has people who they don't like and people who don't like them. And that's okay. It only becomes a problem if someone goes out of their way to hurt someone who they don't like or tries to recruit others to not like them.

Also, they could be inadvertently giving people good reasons to not like them. Maybe they try to be funny and end up being mean. Maybe they struggle to read signs of disinterest and end up crossing people's boundaries. Maybe they hurt people and don't realize what's wrong with it because it's done to them. Everyone has flaws and bad habits. By telling them a blanket statement that there's something wrong with anyone who doesn't like them, you could very easily turn them into a total asshole who thinks they're incapable of doing anything wrong.

Also, when they start pursuing romance, sex, or other types of intimacy, consent is critically important. Rejection can happen for any reason, and they have to be okay with that. If you've spent someone's entire life making it so the only thing saving their confidence is the belief that there's something wrong with anyone who doesn't like them, it will be pretty much impossible to suddenly switch to telling them that people must be freely allowed to reject them. You're pretty much training them to become an incel.

Instead, teach them how to tell the difference between someone who likes them and someone who doesn't. Teach them how to tell the difference between being bullied and being held accountable for their actions. Teach them the difference between being bullied and being rejected. Teach them about common bad habits that people have so they can avoid those bad habits. Teach them how to recognize when they're treated unjustly so they can avoid continuing the pattern and treating others the same way. Teach them the difference between a reasonable adaptation and sacrificing your individuality to fit in.

[autie-j]

Me after an awkward social interaction:

Image description: A poll with the title at the top "how would you rate the quality of this conversation?" Then five options next to circles descending downward labeled "Very toxic" "Toxic" "Neither" "Healthy" and "Very healthy."

[dominicdelagol2]

Stim toys are very fun to play with! A little something to keep my mind going.

Not sure about "revolutionary," but Mercury finds the Orbit Ball stim toy very intriguing!

Check out my comic, Element Eon!

[dominicdelagol2]

07: Sensory Euphoria (Auctober 2024)

Candles that are related to food or autumn have the best scent out of many others!

Pane loves to smell different candles in stores!

Check out my comic, Element Eon!

[uncanny-tranny]

[l3irdl3rain]

Go wild go crazy (Bug Edition)

[prismatic-bell]

May their memories be for a blessing.

[purr-in-ink]

[homunculus-argument]

If any part of your plan involves the words “nobody could be that stupid”, please be prepared to be proven wrong at any minute at a moment’s notice. Pay in mind that the person determined to prove you wrong may already be aware of this assumption, and is already approaching your current location at an alarming speed.

[the-real-seebs]

“it will be fine if people just”

people will not just

[alarajrogers]

In 2011 I attended an event called Bmore Fail, in which entrepreneurs in Baltimore talked about their failures and what they learned from them.

What I learned is that there is an inflexible rule about how people interact with systems. If your system would work perfectly if people Just Would, and yet they Don’t, then your system is bad and you should feel bad. Systems must be built with an eye toward “will people actually do this”?

Recycling was a thing when I was a child. (The 70’s.) In my home in New York State, you could carry recyclables to a recycling center. Nobody did. Now in 2024 Baltimore there is a trash truck that comes every week to pick up my recyclables, and I and my neighbors fill our cans with objects that can be recycled, because a system was developed that was easy for busy people to do, and there’s a lot of social pressure to do it – but the social pressure wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t easy to do. Only the most crunchy granola people bitched at you if you didn’t recycle in 1979, when it required a lot of effort. Now it is considered kind of on par with spitting in the street or leaving a dirty diaper on the diaper changing table in the bathroom instead of throwing it out, if you don’t recycle.

Your job as the system creator is to make it as easy as possible for people to do the right thing, and as hard as possible to do the wrong thing. This is why web forms have data validation (but too much data validation actually makes the forms harder, so hit the spot in the middle.) And if you want people to adopt social change, whether it’s environmentalism, accepting gay people, or whatever, make it as easy as possible. And don’t guilt people about not doing it until it’s as easy as possible; instead phrase things more like “wouldn’t it be cool if”. It’s not the fault of the individual that they can’t get things done in a bad system. Fix the system.

[the-real-seebs]

if users regularly fuck up using a tool you made, and your answer is “you’re holding it wrong”, the next question you should ask is “why did i make this tool so it’s easy to hold it wrong?”

[xclowniex]

I want to talk about this article here.

I think it has completely missed the mark.

To sum it up, it talks about Israeli government led and individual jewish/Israeli led memorial projects for Oct 7th.

It's main criticism is that everything happened to quickly for it to be a genuine thing so it must be pro Israel propaganda.

And whilst I do agree that some of what Netanyahu has done isn't really memorial, I disagree with it being pro Israel propaganda, I would say it's more so pro Netanyahu stuff, to prime him as a good candidate for next election. I also disagree with all of the things from the israeli government not being genuine memorial, as some stuff is.

I also disagree with non Israeli government aka jewish and/or israeli led memorials such as the Nova exhibit being pro Israel propaganda. It just feeds into the whole antisemitic tropes of jews doing something nefarious behind the scenes and dual loyality tropes and jews control the media tropes. Sure a few may have ulterior motives, but acting like they all or even the majority do is just gross.

I also vehemently dislike the "the memorials happened too quickly to be genuine" because the reason for the quickness is right there.

People widely believed it didn't happen

Or that it didn't happen to the extent Israel said it did. And well, we know it was as bad as Israeli media reported it to be. But people didn't believe the reports.

And we see this all the time with holocaust denial. How could a country where the majority ethnicity experienced a genocide which still gets denied by people to this day, see the biggest massacre of jews since the holocaust and see it being denied and not go "fuck we need to do something".

Is the way it was went about tasteful? In some cases yes, and some cases no. But that is not what the article is saying.

The trauma of the holocaust is still ingrained in us. Holocaust survivor's are still alive. It ended 79 years ago. How can one not get worried when the history of denial repeats itself?

Then you also have to factor in that people don't dwell as long on history as they once did. Look at how fast the Russian invasion of Ukraine left the front page of the news. Look at how many people online no longer post about it. Look at Congo, Venezuela, Bangladesh. Those countries have all recently had important historical events. Yet how many people online post about them? How much attention did the media give to them before moving on?

How much time do we have to make an Oct 7th memorial before people who aren't jewish or Israeli don't care about it anymore? And it tied back in to the Oct 7th denial. Not to mention the fact that we have not been allowed to mourn Oct 7th. We have not been allowed to grieve.

It is not weaponizing trauma.

Would you dare say the same to black people about slavery? Queer folk about the aids crisis? Because it is very obvious that in those situations and in the current, it is not okay to claim that.

Jews and Israelis are not weaponizing our trauma. We do not have some secret agenda. We are just trying to grieve, to mourn, to honor those lost, using past experiences as a guide.

[mamaangiwine]

When people graffiti on buildings: Yes! Ha ha! Fuck yes!

When people graffiti on rockfaces and cliffsides on hiking trails: What the absolute fuck.

[mamaangiwine]

It's not punk to poison the soil, dude.

[dragonsrequiem]

It's down with The Man, not down with Mother Nature, my dude.

[depsidase]

[sandersstudies]

Obviously it’s wrong to make sweeping statements like “everyone needs to X to earn my respect” (i.e. not be a virgin, be at the club, have siblings, work in customer service) but sometimes I hear specific people’s opinions and thoughts and I’m like well. You definitely need to have some experiences that you haven’t had.

[dramatic-dolphin]

their wicked doggo pupper vs our heroic gizsgugya

[tlirsgender]

I bet biting cardboard feels good as hell if you're a cat

[tlirsgender]

Many are telling me to bite cardboard & I could but I just feel like it wouldn't be the same because my teeth aren't like a staple remover