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CALLING ALL HEARTS

//Those of you that know me know that I regularly play DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS with my fiance and fellow tumblrite Guitarboy. He is the Dungeon Master (DM) for several of our groups and in RL he works with as an early years/pre-K teacher.

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There is a little boy connected to his nursery called Thomas, who has celebral palsy and requires some very expensive physio and surgeries to help him be more independent. Even in the UK this is not available on the NHS, and will cost over £75,000. His parents want to give him the best chance in life, so they are appealing to the local community to help them raise the money.

To support Thomas in his dream to be able to dance, we are going to attempt a SPONSORED 24-HOUR ROLEPLAYING MARATHON!

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Anything you can spare to help this charming little guy would be amazing, and our whole escapade will be livestreamed on TWITCH. We are hoping to have people skype in to take part too, so if you want to stretch your D&D muscles, do get in touch!

Final date and details to follow, please tune in and support us!

lokitheliesmith

Even if you can’t donate, please reblog to spread the word!

#HelpThomasToDance

phantomrose96

A friend of mine is taking an astronomy class, and she was telling me about some of the impressively large telescopes that exist throughout the world. These are the sorts of things that cost hundreds-of-millions, sometimes billions of dollars, and see into the deepest, farthest, most distant recesses of space, beyond anything even conceivable in human imagination.

And of course, for projects that take many years, hundreds of people, and billions of dollars, that broaden the entire realm of human understanding, the telescopes need names. And no one tops astronomers at naming.

Ask yourself, what should one call a very large telescope? Something cool? Something unique? Something meaningful. Well ask no more, as astronomers have solved that problem. Allow me to introduce you to the

Brilliant. Beautiful. Send it to the presses Jim. But wait! What about a telescope that’s even larger! Worry not Jim, as we’ve got that covered:

Of course. Exceptional. Elegant. But wait! What if there’s one even larg–

TL:DR Someone……please help the astronomers.

contrabassmellotron-deactivated

I’m on mobile but https://xkcd.com/1294/

phantomrose96

the xkcd link:

xkcd understands

mega-tsuna

a gem about Pokemon i found on imgur. glad you could make it to the end.

emerald-city-games

What did I just read?

thebootydiaries

noah fence but if the earth is round then explain the protractor in my esophagus?? lms if u agree

teluahc

Hold up… What the fuck is “Noah fence”? You joking, right? Am I missing some kind of joke out of all of this? No offense…

thebootydiaries

none taken

reddingtton-blog

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability. think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

dragoninthedesert

as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck

misanthropemom

I still like teleport, no error, whether I’ve ever been there or not.

ralfmaximus

The superpower of probability is terrifying for other reasons.

what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

Consider all the unlikely things that must occur in just the proper sequence for this to happen. It’s not just wishing 50 gallons of mac & cheese into existence – that’d be a different superpower.

No, we’re talking about some serious reality bending here.

Like maybe: an 18-wheeler hauling a load of instant Kraft macaroni & cheese collides with a tanker truck filled with water outside your home. Both vehicles erupt into flame, which cooks the combined noodles & cheese mixture within a small non-nuclear mushroom cloud of an explosion.

The cooked mixture of mac & cheese (and burning fuel!) rises into the air on thermals a hundred feet above your house, exactly above your bathroom.

At just the right moment, as the starchy cloud of cheesy noodles reaches the apex of its hideous arc, a freak storm causes a lightning bolt to crash down out of the blue, blasting a hole in your roof above the bathtub.

Shingles and plywood explode away from the roof and are diverted to the side by sudden 50 mph crosswinds… which, because of freak weather conditions, are perfectly timed to whisk away the roof debris but stop just as suddenly before the descending cloud of mac & cheese can be blown aside.

Four seconds later there is a moist mighty THLUPPPP noise as ~50 gallons of half-cooked, badly mixed mac & cheese & diesel fuel land in a soggy mess within your bathtub.

Ding! Your bathtub full of mac & cheese? Probability 100%.

Also: two dead truck drivers, untold collateral damage from the explosion, a wrecked roof, dangerous storms trashing the neighborhood, and a disgusting inedible mess in your bathroom.

Oh wait, you wanted it perfectly cooked, ready to eat? Too bad… you didn’t specify that. And if you had, imagine the FURTHER ridiculous unlikely events required to make that happen.

Because you’re not just wishing shit into existence. You’re shifting realities.

Which, if you’re selecting for a very improbable circumstance means moving a LOT of existing reality out of the way – which takes energy. Because reality has inertia & momentum just like a river does, and does not want to be diverted.

This might be the most terrifying super power ever, just from its side effects.

bobbycaputo

infinitemachine

So, like making deals with demons, you would need to be very, very careful in how you worded your probability shifts. “Probability that fully cooked, still warm, edible macaroni and cheese appears in my bathtub in a manner that is entirely legal, that no one is harmed in any way by the circumstances of its arrival and existence, and that everyone involved with the macaroni, directly or indirectly, is left better off and happier by the event, now and for all time: 100%”

marauders4evr

I mean yeah.

Or.

“What is the probability that every single thing I wish for happens with absolutely no adverse effects? 100%? Sweet!“

nutwit

God it’s like trying to program an AI

val-ritz

Well, see, when you start getting into meta-alterations like that, you’re fucking with some serious underpinnings of the universe. It’s one thing to engineer the deaths of a few truck drivers, but rearranging the cosmos around your whims? The entirely of the universe, all laws of physics, any applicable theological forces at work, those would all have to go out the window.