I Think I'm Funny

My name is Jessi, 24, USA, she/her, and I post stuff that I like

[knight-sapphic]

Different love languages:

Knowing someone's coffee/food order

"Saw this and thought of you" texts

Falling asleep on their shoulder

"Drive safe" and "text me when you get home"

Having nicknames for eachother

[juzavoices]

Visit Original Link

[new-clown-in-town]

I’M IN HYSTERICS

[good-tiktoks]

[peachie5000]

this is the only tik tokk ever, actually

[tinfoil-tits-deactivated2020062]

Oh my FUCK

[heckifiknowcomics]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

what do other people have against subtitles? like bitch,.. my ears are Not Friends with my brain, let me have my captions

[deanhoney-deactivated20220819]

me, age 12, watching elizabeth swann becoming pirate king:

[showerthoughtspost]

The world is constantly trying to produce the hottest pepper, but never the coolest mint.

[e-seal-deactivated20210319]

I’m at the combination psychiatrist/taco bell

[thetyrannosaur]

call that a [joke pending]

[thetyrannosaur]

call that a shrinkwrap supreme

[the-memedaddy]

[sixpenceee]

What sort of witch craft is this? Via u/-sUBzERoo-

Friends, follow me on instagram as I’ll be posting more on there: instagram.com/sixpenceee

[misssatori]

sewing friends, what is this stitch? I have so many things to repair…please ; 3 ;/

[tashvi]

This is called ladder stitch, or blind stitch, iirc. Super useful stitch!

[queer-blue-sky]

My seamstress heart is screaming rn WHAT

[trapezelove]

4 guys from school do the Mean Girls dance.

[ocean-mindedyouth]

yea guys at my high school were never that cool

[feistyfrank]

this is amazing on so many levels

[maitrebate]

the guy playing cady has been waiting for that his whole life

[mezzodical]

one round/action in D&D is 6 seconds so anything you could accomplish during a vine you could do during your turn

[theorynoodle]

Rogue: “I’m back at it again at Krispy Kreme.”

DM: “Roll an acrobatics check.”

[lovelylovelyartist]

Fighter: I want to see my little boy

DM: roll a perception check

*nat 20*

DM: here he comes

[z-nogyrop]

bard: toss me my keys

*rolls a 1*

DM: i thought you said printer

[spiritednug]

Fairy: I still haven’t found my berries

DM: roll a perception check

*rolls a 9*

Fairy: BUT! *holds up an orange* I found this.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

Druid: I am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand.

DM: Roll an intimidation check.

*nat 20*

DM: Poseidon quivers before him!

Druid: Fuck off!

[redwoodriver-deactivated2018042]

Dm: can you read this for us?

Fighter: rolls a nat 1

Fighter: what up im Jared im 19 and I never fuckin learned how to read

[sparrow-va]

Fighter: It’s summer, I got my helm on backwards and it’s time to fuckin’ party.

DM: Roll for Dodge.

Fighter: *rolls a 1*

Fighter: *slams head into ye olde portcullis*

[mjalti]

do u think that angels having sex with humans was seen as like beastiality in angel-world

[humancoffeegrounds]

do you think that when you reach the gates of heaven they’ll show you this post 

[mjalti]

bold of you to presume I can die

[crystalquintessential]

Pretty sure they actually answer this in the bible and the answer is yes. The whole ‘Lucifer and the lesser angels want have free will’ part has the ‘angels also wanting to be gendered so they can be with humans’ part in it.

[aviculor]

god was kinkshaming satan

[dont-at-m3]

God got a virgin pregnant without consent, he can mind his business

[seaflying-fliptuna]

She did consent tho, like, that’s a whole thing, I’ve been in masses where the main focus was Mary’s Yes. It didn’t happen without warning, an angel was literally like “hey my pal up there is thinking u should birth his humansona” and she was like “that’d be an honor”

[mjalti]

I didn’t claw my way out of hell just to be sent back there by reading the word Humansona,

[thepansexualbaker]

@tinfoil-tits

[westindianheaux]

ppl will defend this nihilistic and depressive world view to the ends of the earth but some of yall need to check yourself before all this negativity worsens your clinical depression. there’s too much hopelessness on the internet and all of those messages are really toxic. especially fixating on things that you cannot change in the immediate moment. take a break… sniff a flower… tell your friend she looks beautiful… not everything is about the end of the world or how hopeless our survival is as a species.

[pukicho]

You flirt and kiss and for what??? Sex?????! Love?????? Pathetic.

[aphuckingbeesechurger]

To level my charisma stat

[pukicho]

Ah a gamer, you may pass

[shes-a-killer-queeeen]

john mulaney as broadway musicals: