don't panic, call me up I'll tell you a joke

Hi I'm Ken/K.B., this is my "main blog" I post more on yeehaw-and-depression tho. 25

[json-derulo]

I love lying to my landlord. “We’re currently looking at a comparable unit in the area at $[a hundred dollars less than our current rent]/month, so if your offer has any flexibility to come down on the rent, that would help us reach a decision about whether or not to renew our lease here” and the comparable unit exists only in my own beautiful mind

[json-derulo]

Actually, no! And since several people have replied asked for my script for negotiating lower rent, I’m gonna share that below, as well as the philosophy behind it. Full disclosure that I’m not a leasing office person or a realtor or god forbid, a landlord—I’m just someone who has been a renter for 10+ years across different states, and I know for a fact that I have saved myself thousands of dollars by successfully negotiating a lower monthly rent on almost every lease I’ve ever signed. (Also, I’ve only ever rented in the U.S., so this advice may not be as applicable elsewhere.)

Step 0: Know Thy Enemy

The key thing to understand about all residential landlords, whether they’re corporate conglomerates or Just Some Asshole, is that their asset—the property—is a Cinderella carriage that magically turns back into an expensive ass pumpkin of a liability any time it’s sitting empty. The property taxes, insurance, mortgage, HOA fees, and maintenance costs all still come due every month/quarter/year whether they have a tenant to cover it all and then some, or not. 

Because of this, at the end of the day, their ultimate goal is to fill every unit at all times with someone who will reliably pay the rent on time and in full. And because everything else is secondary to that goal—and because with the exception of Just Some Asshole landlords, the person responding to your emails and writing up your lease paperwork is several degrees of separation removed from the shareholders who profit off your rent money—they’re almost always willing to negotiate with you. As long as it gets the liability converted into an asset faster or keeps the carriage from turning back into a pumpkin for longer, then in the long run, it’s actually in their best interest to give you a better price. 

Step 1: Identify Your Leverage

If you understand how supply and demand works, you can figure out how much leverage you have pretty easily.  High supply and low demand = you have more leverage, and vice versa. Do they have an “AVAILABLE NOW - MOVE IN TODAY” sandwich board on the sidewalk or a web banner that says “First month free”? Does their website and/or Apartments.com show a bunch of currently open listings? Do you already live there and know at least two families on your floor have moved out in the last several months with no one new moving in to replace them? These are all indications that they have more than one unit currently sitting empty, meaning higher supply and lower demand. No sandwich board and a website that just says “call for availability”? They might just suck at marketing, but more likely, supply is lower and demand is higher. 

You have the least leverage if you’re a prospective tenant looking to move in somewhere that has a waitlist. They have no reason to offer you a discount if six other people are already in line to pay full price for apartments that aren’t even vacant yet (but you can still ask!). You also have no leverage to negotiate if you’ve already signed a lease and you’re in the middle of the lease period; you legally agreed to pay $X/month for Y months, so you’re stuck with that until the lease is up.

At the other end of the spectrum, you have the most leverage if you’re a current tenant who has always paid your rent on time and you’re being offered a renewal on your existing lease with higher rent than you're currently paying, especially if they already have some units that have been empty for a while. If you move out, not only is your unit going to sit vacant for at least part of a month, they’re also probably going to have to put in some work to “turn” the unit (repainting, professional cleaning, etc) to get it in move-in condition for the next tenant.

All of this means that if you move out, even if they can fleece you out of your security deposit and find a new tenant the very next month, it’s still gonna cost them at least a few thousand dollars to turn that pumpkin back into a carriage again. They’re probably willing to come down by $100-$200/month or so on the renewal offer rent if you ask, because they know it’ll actually save them money in the long run. Similar situation if you’re a prospective new tenant—if they can’t get you or anyone else to sign a lease and move in this month, that’s $[whatever the monthly rent is] down the drain, and they’ll never get it back. It’s a perishable item about to spoil. 

Step 2: Get Their Opening Offer

This is the first number they’ll quote you for the rent—the sticker price that you’ve always just accepted as set in stone. The truth is, they’ve built some buffer into that number. There’s almost always some room for them to come down, and depending on your leverage, they will if you ask nicely. But for reasons that baffle me, most people don’t!

Step 3: Wait, Research, & Counter

Don’t reply to their initial offer right away—unless there’s a waitlist (in which case, you have little haggling power anyway), wait a few days. It makes them sweat a bit, and it shows you aren’t desperate. The person who is rushing to reply is not the one who has more leverage in the negotiation, and making them wait reminds them of that. In the meantime, use Apartments.com or Zillow to get an idea of what similar units in the same area are currently going for. Then you come up with your counteroffer.

As a general rule, anything more than about 20-25% below their opening offer (or below market rates) will probably just piss them off or make them take you less seriously. But when we’re talking about your monthly rent over the course of a year or two, even a 10% discount adds up to a lot of money!

When I negotiated our original lease for my current place, I also asked for and got a two year lease term instead of the standard one year. But whatever automated calendar event system they use to remind their leasing office staff when it’s time to send out renewal offers didn’t get the memo about that, so they mistakenly sent me a renewal offer the following year, meaning I got to see how much they would have jacked up the rent if they could’ve. For that second year of the lease alone, my negotiating saved us $3,000! 

Step 4: BDE (Big Dick Emailing) 

Here’s the tricky part. You need to write an email—always negotiate over email if you can, it’s too easy for a salesperson to bowl you over on the phone and anything they say that isn’t in writing means nothing—which simultaneously makes it sound like you would sign a lease with them in a heartbeat and like you are actively flirting with five other apartment complexes right now who all want you so bad it makes them look stupid, because you are just so sexy and fun and your credit score is eight inches flaccid. You need to make them believe you are both highly motivated and ready to sign on the dotted line and willing to just walk away from the table at any second, but if they could just come down a little bit on that number, you’d delete those other hoes’ numbers forever! Here’s the rough script I use every time:

“ Thank you for [your email/the tour/sending over the offer letter/etc]. I have had a chance to review and consider it. I think [name of apartment complex] would be the perfect fit for me, but I am also exploring and touring other options in the area, including a comparable unit nearby at $[a little below your counteroffer number]/month.

If we could come down to $[your counteroffer number]/month on the rent, I would be prepared to sign the lease today. Let me know your thoughts. Thanks! "

Step 6: You Win Either Way

Sometimes they really do just accept your counteroffer without question and send you over a revised lease to sign. (When this happens, I make a note for next time that my counteroffer was probably too high and I should’ve asked for more!) More often, they get approval from The Powers That Be and come back with a number that’s higher than your counteroffer but lower than their initial offer. Assuming I can afford it, I always accept this offer; you’ve achieved your goal of saving yourself money from sticker price, and they’re likely to lose patience if they have to keep going around and around with you. And sometimes (though only very rarely), they may come back and say the price is firm—in which case, guess what? You still didn’t lose anything by asking!

[json-derulo]

THIS!!! Exactly this. I didn’t mention it above because I just couldn’t fit it neatly anywhere, but once while negotiating a lease renewal, I got as far as receiving their counteroffer, which was basically “price firm :(”, but then life happened, so I forgot to respond and accept. The email sat in my inbox for a week. And then, completely unprompted, they magically replied again saying, “actually, nvm, how’s $[number that is lower than our opening offer] sound?”

To them, it looked like I was staring them down cold as ice like

I was literally just busy with other stuff! and they were sweating!!! BULLETS!!!

[scientia-rex]

Me: Exercise does not cause weight loss. This is a fact that has been demonstrated so robustly in research that even doctors, who hate and fear evidence, are grudgingly starting to admit this.

Someone reading that post: Cool, but have you considered that exercise leads to weight loss?

Me: I am going to eat you

[scientia-rex]

lololol "does too"

does it? not for women after childbirth

does it? not if you want to see an effect size of greater than 1 kilo (2.2lbs)

does it? not if you'd like to see a maintained loss greater than 3.3% of your body weight

does it? not for people with type 2 diabetes

does it? not for people exercising for their non-alcoholic fatty liver disease

Interactive computer-based reminders to diet and exercise are useless.

I mean, I literally went to Cochrane Reviews, one of the best-respected sources for massive meta-analyses, and I just input the keywords "weight loss" and "exercise," and I'm tooling through the results. Every one of the damn things shows that we do not have high-quality research indicating that exercise leads to weight loss. So no. I'm right, and you need to adjust your worldview--ask yourself, if not for weight loss, then why? Re-read those sources: exercise improved muscle density, insulin sensitivity, and cholesterol. It's good for your blood vessels, it's good for your strength, it's good for your brain.

But it won't make you thin. Maybe two pounds, maybe five, but that's about it. If you're looking at short-term, like a year, sure, you can lose weight--but the effort will almost always result in your body going "oh shit, we're living in a famine" and you will regain it, and now, with your body at a new set-point, losing it will be harder. Regaining will be easier. Welcome to the life-destroying yo-yo.

[scientia-rex]

#then what the fuck are we supposed to do?

Exercise and eat lots of fruits and vegetables and whole grains because those things will keep you healthier longer, regardless of how much you weigh, and pick up your pick-axe in the ongoing horribly slow and frustrating fight of chipping away at the idea that being fat is a bad thing that means you’re a bad person. I recommend the book Fat Talk for a good place to start.

[elfwreck]

Regular exercise helps your general health. Builds muscle. Reduces your heart rate. Keeps your body generally fit and flexible. Often, reduces stress because it gives you time to focus on something other than whatever was stressing you.

Eating good veggies helps digestion, your skin health, emotional balance, and has plenty of other benefits.

Exercise and eating green leafy vegetables have very minimal effects on weight. The biggest effects are on people who gained weight because of a debilitating condition - exercise and diet can help them get back to the shape that's their body's natural condition with their normal metabolism. Usually not quite to where they were before - bodies try very hard to hold on to mass after illness or injuries - but bodies also want to find their normal equilibrium.

Exercise will not turn a fat person into a skinny person. It has plenty of health benefits; "being skinny" is not a health benefit.

Repeat: "Being skinny" is not an indicator of health.

And occasionally I share this one around again:

A few years ago I was getting a pap smear. The doctor—whom I had just met that morning—had me in those cold metal stirrups and was rooting a

[thepositivitytreatment]

Emphasis on the exercise builds muscle part!

You can be fat and also have a ton of muscle, in fact historically speaking, fat people were seen as stronger and healthier. It wasn't really until beauty standards shifted to view skinny as more desirable that fat people were considered unhealthy, and then food started being produced in more and more unhealthy ways on top of that. A strong fat person in the 1800s was considered way healthier than a strong skinny person, because their body was clearly getting the nutrients they needed.

Additionally, exercise builds muscle, muscle weighs more than fat, so exercise does not equal weight loss. There's been times in my life where I've looked skinny but weighed more than I looked like I did, because at the time I was building muscle, but not providing my body with proper nutrients, so I didn't have the healthy amount of fat that I should have had. So I looked skinny, but was bothered by how much I weighed because the numbers weren't going down on the scale.

Anyways, as long as you're taking care of your body and your health, weight is simply a number, so try not to be too bothered by numbers. If you have concerns about your health, talk to a doctor and a nutritionist if you have those available to you. If you don't have access to a doctor and a nutritionist, you might have to play around with what kind of food you're eating and what kind of exercise you're doing, till you reach a point where you feel good and healthy.

Skinny doesn't equal healthy, exercise doesn't equal weight loss, and fat does not equal unhealthy.

[thepeacefulgarden]

[thepositivitytreatment]

Also singing! Singing is a great way to deactivate your fight or flight!

[wifislim]

[queerspacepunk]

i want to be asked to come over and help put my friend’s kids to bed as casually as they might text their spouse and ask them to pick up milk on the way home

i want to stop and pick up milk for another friend because i know their spouse hates the grocery store

i want to buy fruit that i dont like because it’s on special and i know people who do

i want to pass lemons over the fence and to take my neighbours bins out when the forget

i want group chats instead of rideshare apps, calls in the middle of the night because someone’s at the hospital, lonely or hungry or both

i want to do the dishes in other people’s houses, extra servings wrapped in tinfoil and tea towels so it’s still warm when you drop it off, a basket of other people’s mending by my couch

i want to be surrounded by reminders that ‘imposing’ on each other is what we were born to do

[squishmelo]

Yes yes yes!!! 

I want to know when someone is sick so I can make them soup and drop it off at their door, so they don't have to make a meal.

I want to pick up medications for someone who isn't able to leave the house right now to get them.

I want to buy my friends favorite gatorade when I see it, because it’s hard to find and you’ve got to scoop it up when you see it.

I want to bake a cake because it’s fun and give slices to everyone I see to enjoy.

I want to be text when someone needs their dog taken out while they’re having a long day at work.

I want to take my friends kids out to the zoo for silly events, because I want to go and they would enjoy it too.

I want to go to the doctor with someone who’s worried, and hold their hand, and take notes, so they don’t have to be alone.

I want to bring a hot thermos of tea to someone outside on a cold day, or a cool glass of lemonade on a hot one.

[merrybitchmas91-deactivated2019]

Why "doing something relaxing” does not help your anxiety

A lot of the time when people give advice intended to relieve anxiety, they suggest doing “relaxing” things like drawing, painting, knitting, taking a bubble bath, coloring in one of those zen coloring books, or watching glitter settle to the bottom of a jar.

This advice is always well-intentioned, and I’m not here to diss people who either give it or who benefit from it. But it has never, ever done shit for me, and this is because it goes about resolving anxiety in the completely wrong way.  

THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO when suffering from anxiety is to do a “relaxing” thing that just enables your mind to dwell and obsess more on the thing that’s bothering you. You need to ESCAPE from the dwelling and the obsession in order to experience relief.

You can drive to a quiet farm, drive to the beach, drive to a park, or anywhere else, but as someone who has tried it all many, many times, trust me–it’s a waste of gas. You will just end up still sad and stressed, only with sand on your butt. You can’t physically escape your sadness. Your sadness is inside of you. To escape, you need to give your brain something to play with for a while until you can approach the issue with a healthier frame of mind. 

People who have anxiety do not need more time to contemplate, because we will use it to contemplate how much we suck.

In fact, you could say that’s what anxiety is–hyper-contemplating. When we let our minds run free, they run straight into the thorn bushes. Our minds are already running, and they need to be controlled. They need to be given something to do, or they’ll destroy everything, just like an overactive husky dog ripping up all the furniture. 

Therefore, I present to you: 

THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN ANXIOUS

–Go on a walk

–Watch a sunset, watch fish in an aquarium, watch glitter, etc.

–Go anywhere where the main activity is sitting and watching

–Draw, color, do anything that occupies the hands and not the mind

–Do yoga, jog, go fishing, or anything that lets you mentally drift 

–Do literally ANYTHING that gives you great amounts of mental space to obsess and dwell on things.

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO WHEN ANXIOUS:

–Do a crossword puzzle, Sudoku, or any other mind teaser game. Crosswords are the best.

–Write something. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece. Write the Top 10 Best Restaurants in My City. Rank celebrities according to Best Smile. Write some dumb Legolas fanfiction and rip it up when you’re done. It’s not for publication, it’s a relief exercise that only you will see. 

–Read something, watch TV, or watch a movie–as long as it’s engrossing. Don’t watch anything which you can run as background noise (like, off the top of my head, Say Yes to The Dress.) As weird as it seems, American Horror Story actually helps me a lot, because it sucks me in. 

–Masturbate. Yes, I’m serious. Your mind has to concentrate on the mini-movie it’s running. It can’t run Sexy Titillating Things and All The Things That are Bothering Me at the same time. (…I hope. If it can, then…ignore this one.) 

–Do math problems—literally, google “algebra problems worksheet” and solve them. If you haven’t done math since 7th grade this will really help you. I don’t mean with math, I mean with the anxiety. 

–Play a game or a sport with someone that requires great mental concentration. Working with 5 people to get a ball over a net is a challenge which will require your brain to turn off the Sadness Channel. 

–Play a video game, as long as it’s not something like candy crush or Tetris that’s mindless. 

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO DURING PANIC ATTACKS ESPECIALLY:

–List the capitals of all the U.S. states

–List the capitals of all the European countries

–List all the shapes you can see. Or all the colors. 

–List all the blonde celebrities you can think of.

–Pull up a random block of text and count all the As in it, or Es or whatever.  

Now obviously, I am not a doctor. I am just an anxious person who has tried almost everything to help myself.  I’ve finally realized that the stuff people recommend never works because this is a disorder that thrives on free time and free mental space. When I do the stuff I listed above, I can breathe again. And I hope it helps someone here too. 

(Now this shouldn’t have to be said but if the “do nots” work for you then by all means do them. They’ve just never worked for me.)

[changelingfangs]

What I used to do when my PTSD flashbacks would get really bad is trying to name (and picture) as many different breeds of cat (or dog) as I could.

It also worked when I was having panic attacks bc it would occupy my brain (trying to remember the name + the image) and it was *also* something I love (CATS!)

[c3po]

squeak now or forever hold ur cheese

[c3po]

i think this might literally be one of my top thoughts of all time

[bloodenjoyer]

“how do autistic people flirt” Inreresting question. have you every heard of the kubrick stare

[tashiyouslay]

[callistomist-deactivated2020091]

I decided to create a masterpost that would help you with what you are struggling with. Hopefully any of the links below will help you! Reminder; You’re going to be okay. What you are going through will pass, just remember to breathe. 

————————————————————————————-

Distractions;

Here are some distractions to help keep your mind occupied so you aren’t too focused on your thoughts. 

-Draw something

-This website translates the time into colours.

-Create your own galaxy.

-Play flowing.

-Make a 3D line travel where ever you like. 

-Listen to music.

-Calm.

-Ocean mood, do nothing for two minutes.

Sleep issues; 

- 8 hour sleep music.

-Rainy mood. 

-Meditation.

-Coping with nightmares.

-How to cope with nightmares, 11 steps.

-Calm

-Foods that can affect your sleeping, both positive and negatively. 

 Uncomfortable with silence; 

-Rainy mood.

-10 hours of rain and thunder.

-3 hours of rain and thunder.

-Human heartbeat.

-Rainforest.

-Sound of rain on a tin roof.

-Autumn wind.

-Rain on a tent

-Traffic in the rain.

-Soft traffic. 

-Fan.

-Train.

-Simply noise.

-My noise.

-Rainy cafe.

Anxiety; 

-How to stop worrying. 

-Tips to manage anxiety and stress.

-The 10 best ever anxiety management techniques. 

-Self-help strategies for anxiety. 

-Helping a friend with anxiety. 

-All about worrying.

-8 myths about anxiety. 

Sad, angry and depressed/depression; 

-“I’m always sad”

-Feeling sad.

-Going through trauma.

-“I’m always angry”.

-Anger management. 

-All about anger.

-National helplines and websites.

-Self-help strategies for depression.

-Dealing with depression at work.

-Dealing with depression at school.

Isolation and loneliness; 

-Pets and mental health.

-All about loneliness. 

-“I feel so alone”

-10 more ideas to help with loneliness. 

-How to deal with loneliness.

 Self-harm;

-Alternatives to self-harm and distraction techniques.

-146 things to do besides self-harm.

-More alternatives to self-harm.

-Self-harm alternatives.

-How to take care of self-harm wounds/injuries.

-Getting rid of scars.  

Addiction; 

-How to help a friend with a drug addiction.

-What is addiction?

-All about alcohol and addiction.

-The facts about drug addiction.

 Eating disorders; 

-Helping a friend with an eating disorder.

-Eating disorder treatments. 

-Support services for eating disorders. 

-Self-help tips with eating disorders.

-Eating disorder recovery. 

-Recovering from an eating disorder. 

-100+ reasons to recover. 

-Understanding and managing eating disorders. 

 Dealing with self-hatred;  

-3 ways to ease self-loathing. 

-How to turn self-hatred into self-compassion.

-Self-hatred resources.

-10 step plan to deal with self-hate. 

 Suicidal; 

-International suicide hotlines (1)  (2)

-Preventing suicide. 

-Reasons to stay alive.

-Dealing with suicidal thoughts and feelings.

-Coping with suicidal ideation.  

 Schizophrenia;

-All about schizophrenia.  

-Helping a person with schizophrenia.  

-Understanding and dealing with schizophrenia.  

-Delusions and hallucinations.  

OCD;

-Managing your OCD at home. 

-Overcoming OCD.

-How to cope with OCD. 

-Strategies for dealing with the anxious moments. 

Borderline personality disorder; 

-Helping someone with BPD. 

-All about personality disorders.

-Treatment for BPD.

Abuse; 

-Healthy relationships VS abusive relationships. 

-Emotional abuse

-Overcoming sexual abuse. 

-Hotlines services. 

-5 ways to escape an abusive relationship. 

-Domestic violence support. 

-Signs of an abusive relationship. 

-What do to if you’re in an abusive relationship. 

-Surviving abuse. 

-What you can do if you’re sexual harassed. 

-Sexual assault support.

-What to do if you’ve been sexually assaulted or abused. 

 Bullying;

-How to stand up against bullying.

-How to protect yourself when it comes to cyber bullying.

-How to help stop people bullying you. 

 Loss and grief; 

-How to cope with a suicide of a loved one.

-Grieving for a stranger. 

-Common reactions to death. 

-Working through grief.

(Other loss and grief)

-Moving away from friends and family. 

-Coping with a breakup.

 Getting help; 

-Seeking help early. 

-All about psychological treatments. 

-Types of help.

-All about age and confidentiality. 

Things you need to remember; 

- Don’t stress about being fixed because you’re not broken.

-Remember to remind yourself of your accomplishments. Tell yourself that you’re proud of yourself, even if you’re not. 

- This is temporary. You won’t always feel like this. 

-You are not alone. 

-You are enough. 

-You are important. 

-You are worth it. 

-You are strong. 

-You are not a failure, 

-Good people exist. 

-Reaching out shows strength. 

-Breathe. 

-Don’t listen to the thoughts that are not helping you. 

-Give yourself credit. 

-Don’t be ashamed of your emotions, for the good or bad ones. 

-Treat yourself the same way as you would treat a good friend. 

-Focus on the things you can change. 

-Let go of toxic people. 

-You don’t need to hide, you’re allowed to feel the way you do. 

-Try not to beat yourself up. 

-Something is always happening, you don’t want to miss out on what’s going to happen next. 

-You are not a bother.

-Your existence is more than your appearance. 

-You are smart. 

-You are loved. 

-You are wanted. 

-You are needed. 

-Better days are coming. 

-Just because your past is dark, doesn’t mean your future isn’t bright. 

-You have more potential than you think. 

- Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.

Please remember to look after yourself and know that you are more than worth it and you deserve to be happy. Keep smiling butterflies x

[moodyehudi-deactivated20180519]

thanks bud

[reddieforstenbrough-deactivated]

You all need this

[filmnoirsbian]

Obviously there are many things to dislike about adulthood but as someone who grew up in an abusive household for whom adulthood offered the only chance at an escape, it's incredibly important to me that i romanticize adulthood whenever possible because i know there are kids and teenagers like me out there who are seeing nothing but complaints about rent and taxes and the loneliness of living on your own and i know they're going to internalize all of that and assume it means that adulthood won't offer them the freedom and safety they've been dreaming of. So while i never want to minimize the difficulties of being an adult, i also want to highlight how incredibly nice it can be to finally have ownership of your life and your body and your time and money and food and everything else in a way that you never had before. You can choose when you wake up! You can choose what you have for breakfast! You can choose when to go to sleep or if you want to (inadvisably) stay up all night watching tv in the living room! In the living room! You can choose what to watch! These are little things, but they are worth taking pleasure in, and they are worth looking forward to.

[stitch-n-time]

Oh. Man. I'm in my 40s now, but can STILL remember the first apartment I lived in alone. The first week, I had nothing. NOTHING. I slept on the floor wrapped up in curtains, until a friend came to visit and was like "welp. This ain't keepin' on" and gave me a folding bed and a couple of blankets. There were part of it that were just... not fun. You know what I did, though? I made cookies. Because I wanted them, and nobody could keep me from using the kitchen. I got a cat, because nobody could tell me "no". I took long, hot bubble baths because the bathroom - and the bathtub - were MINE and nobody else's. I turned MY music up and danced around MY living room all day (but was aware of the family with children downstairs, so shut down the one person party before it got too late). I bought a cast-off couch for cheap and had friends help me bring it in, and sat on MY couch and sewed. And crocheted. And started to teach myself to knit. The only one there to tell me "no" was the kitten, and she loved playing with the yarn. There were things about it that were exceptionally hard. I was a pregnant single waitress truly struggling to pay bills and put food on the table. But that's not what stuck. What stayed with me, and what was important, was those little things that made being an adult worthwhile.

[cwicseolfor]

You will get out and you will get free and it still rains, sometimes, but you get to decide whether to stay in or put up your umbrella or just let it pour down your face while you stomp puddles. You get to choose. It's not paradise, but it is, in the end, yours, which is such a relief. And all the things they say about the best of life being free - that's true. You will have happiness of your own making.

[surohsopsisofclouds]

"You will have happiness of your own making."

Dang I needed all of that but especially that last part.

[nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear]

So I stumbled through the Barbie aisle at Walmart the other day…

…and y'all, I almost cried. Just look at these. LOOK AT THEM.

So many skin tones!

PLUS SIZED BODY TYPES!

NATURAL HAIR STYLES!!! MULTIPLE SHADES OF DARK SKIN!!!

A WOMAN AS A DOCTOR!!!!!

[nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear]

I’M NOT DONE, THERE IS A PHOTO LIMIT!

LOOK AT THIS PROFESSIONAL LADY!

SO MANY SKIN TONES AND BODY TYPES AND LOOK AT THAT MERMAN!!!

FRECKLES!!!

Y'all, I’m just…so so happy.

I’m 35 years old and I’ve never seen a Barbie that looked like me, and then there I am as a Barbie in a purple sweater with thick thighs and evenly proportioned boobs and pink hair and a cat.

I can only imagine how other girls must feel.

Nicely done, Mattel. Nicely done!

[immaplatypus]

Mattel also just announced some new Barbie dolls who have wheelchairs or prosthetic limbs!!!

Like screw anything calling this “politically correct,” this is what the real world literally is.  And the world’s population of children is just as diverse as its adults.  Kids deserve to see themselves represented.  As a disabled person myself, I can’t tell you how much this would have meant to me as a little girl.

[freeunicornhug-deactivated20220]

BRO HAVE Y’ALL SEEN THE NEWLY RELEASED ONES

IM SOBBING

[nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear]

YES YES YES THIS IS PERFECT!!!

[frompawntoqueen]

I only ever saw the one disabled Barbie but their is at least two! And look a ramp!

[thefloatingstone]

the OP was made a year ago so for fun I went to check what they’re new dolls were

Guys… Even being confident there would be even MORE added to the barbie range of dolls…. I was not prepared.

I am about to image spam you so forgive but there’s just SO MUCH

holy shit. I’m like… not even a doll person and so many of these I want!

There’s LITERALLY too many to add

(who is she?)

Plus sized Barbie with DIMPLES

They actually have a barbie with albinism and bothered to give her a proper face-sculpt!

This one looks like she could kill me instantly if she made direct eye-contact

This one’s smile is just KILLING me

Nubian girl because we’re not messing around

Also… this doll does not have any name on the product listing nor on the packaging so this might just be me but…. help me out here guys… is this.. ….is this a non-binary barbie? Am I presuming too much or is that what I’m looking at here??

Also final note. Just to REALLY drill this all home, Barbie has some photos of kids playing with the dolls and

Ironically, Barbie did not come to play around.

Also I’m obsessed with this Sally Ride doll

[the-punning-ubus]

Barbie never played around, barbie played for keeps, why do you think she works so hard in so many fields?

[official-lucifers-child]

if any of y’all think this is overkill:

i babysat the sweetest little girl who was in a hot pink wheelchair. it was almost brand new, and she was just so excited to finally have a good wheelchair!! the day i walked into the house after she’d gotten it, she wheeled over to me with the biggest smile and said “it doesn’t hurt my back anymore!!”

for her birthday, i got her a barbie doll who looked a lot like her (it was the one with vitiligo) and a little barbie wheelchair and a few other accessories because who doesn’t like accessories?

apparently she’d had a white doll for a while and of course loved her doll but when she saw not only the one with vitiligo but also the wheelchair? and she put that little doll into the wheelchair and pushed her around a bit on the table? she looked up at me and burst into tears, grinning from ear to ear, and murmured to me “she’s like me. i didn’t know there were ones like me” and lemme tell you i nearly broke down right then and there and i gave her the warmest smile and hug i could muster up and her parents called me a few months later (i’d stopped babysitting because they didn’t have money to pay and wouldn’t allow me to babysit for little/free like i offered because i knew they both were searching for jobs and couldn’t be around their kid much bc interviews) and they just thanked me, their daughter was “so happy to have a doll like her that she carried the barbie around with her all the time”. they hadn’t been able to afford the doll and were actually saving up for a wheelchair at least.

this isn’t overkill.

this is giving kids a doll like themself. this is showing them that they aren’t weird or irregular or not normal. this is showing kids that others who are different from them, others who do have a prosthetic or a wheelchair or dark skin or vitiligo, that those kids aren’t weird. if a little girl sees a barbie in a wheelchair, she’ll just think “oh that’s my friend!!” and be exposed to the fact that these “different” kids are kids too, friends and acquaintances and not people to be mocked or bullied.

[thegreenpea]

I am so glad this came back. It always brings joy to me

[fuckup-perfectionist-deactivate]

So many TV shows/movies depict the Epi Pen as a total solution for anaphylaxis...it's not. The Epi Pen gives you 30 minutes to get to a hospital where they can save your life. TV makes it look like you just have to use the Epi Pen and then the crisis is over. Do people without allergies or a loved one with allergies know that an Epi Pen only buys you time? The more I see this on TV the more I worry...

**Maybe you should reblog this because I'm actually worried that most people don't know.

[thykingdomcole]

Omg so much this! I have to use my epipens about three times a year and my doctor recommends I shoot both of them in my thigh and then call an ambulance! They are a STABILISER not a cure!!

[penrosesun]

Relatedly, also – people don't realize just how long an allergic reaction affects your system, and how long it takes before your body is actually back to normal.

The last time I had a serious allergic reaction, I was put on IV meds in the hospital, and then discharged that day. But after I was discharged, I had to take both prescription antihistamines and over-the-counter antihistamines for two full weeks. Anaphylaxis fucks your body up. An epipen gives you time to get to a hospital, and a hospital stabilizes you to the point where you can go home, but these reactions are serious, and your body takes real time to heal from them.

[catchymemes]

[urbanfantasyinspiration]

My God they actually look like dogs now

[introvertbard]

Lord, the changes! DO PUGS NEXT!!!

[dusky-phantom]

ACTUALLY! A breeder in Germany started to breed healthier pugs called “retro mops” and currebtly ppl are trying to get AKC and UKC to recongnize them as the new standard.

heres the comparison:

[introvertbard]

Reblogging with updates! Healthy bulldogs AND healthy pugs! ❤️

[dawdreygore]

I’ve been seeing these around! they’re so cute

[dsfjhd34jb2ibd-deactivated20210]

I think a lot of abled people get confused about ableism because they fail to recognize how diverse a category disability is. There are so many kinds of disabilities - intellectual, sensory, motor, chronic illness, neurodivergence, limb differences, to name a few - and people in these categories will have different needs.

Which is why you often end up with disability advocates saying seemingly "contradictory" things. One group may be advocating for more support while another wants increased independence. People with a terminal illness will fight for a cure and more research whereas some ND/sensory disabilities want to stop having their experience medicalized, and so on. The kinds of ableism that people experience will also vary for that reason.

And having one kind of disability doesn't make you an expert on all of them! Which is why it's important to have diverse disability rep within organizations and groups. I've encountered organizations in the past that claim to be accessible/disability friendly because they have one disabled person on their board, only to find them woefully unequipped to deal with my very different disabilities.

This disability pride month I really encourage abled "allies" to examine the ways they try to flatten disability into a monolith and to make an effort to listen to and uplift diverse disabled voices.

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Learn to articulate how you're feeling without accusing anyone of having bad intentions. You can say "I'm afraid of being alone" without saying "you're just going to leave me like everyone else." You can say "I need some reassurance" without saying "you probably don't love me anymore." You can say "I'm afraid I've hurt your feelings and I'd like to talk it through" without saying "you don't even like me anymore." You can say "I want to spend more time with you" without saying "you've gotten tired of me." You can say "I feel misunderstood" without saying "you always judge me." Try not to let your emotions get the best of you. Have a conversation focused on finding solutions instead of escalating the conflict.

[kaity--did]

Y’all being pregnant while moving into a new house is BUCKWILD

My husband is an intelligent man, but he has gotten in his head that if I lift one box I will PERISH

[kaity--did]

Here is the problem in a nutshell

Would I love to let my husband do everything? Of course?

But this absolute GIANT of a man after TEN YEARS together still has no spatial awareness and NO AWARENESS that his a A FOOT AND A HALF taller than me. If he is left to put thing away, he will do so diligently but he PUTS EVERYTHING ON THE TOP SHELF and my TINY TREX ARMS CAN NOT MAKE THAT TRIP

[kaity--did]

I threw out my back and he’s now convinced that it’s his fault for letting me carry paper plates in the house my self and that he’s going to be a terrible father

This man has a LAW DEGREE and is a PRACTICING ATTORNEY

[kaity--did]

“You have two skeletons inside you right now that is double the amount I have. You are my sweet special Eldritch Horror” - My Husband

Thanks I think?

[kaity--did]

“It’s insane that we just made a person! I’ve never even met a baby before what do I say?!”

Not worried about diapers here folks, just first impressions

[kaity--did]

“I’m going be be a dad which is just buckwild. I have your pregnancy checklist but here is my fatherhood check list

1. I need a riding lawn mower

2. I need a white tank top

3. I need a beer, particularly an amber colored one

4. I need a book of puns

5. I need a baby back pack to carry said baby

6. I want my own diaper bag, and I want it to be STYLISH

Kait are you writing this down this is important?”

[kaity--did]

Me: a lot of people on the internet are calling you a himbo, would you like to respond?

Husband: I am often very dumb, and I do drink the respect women juice like fine wine, however I am not very strong, and I just don’t know if I can accept this title if I do not meet all the qualifications

Me: I don’t know, you lifted all those boxes on your own

Husband: this was simply DAD ENERGY

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[kaity--did]

I can not with this fool

[catgirlnailpolish]

literally marry him

[kaity--did]

I have great news my friend

[404computerhamstersnotfound]

marry him again

[kaity--did]

I’ve read him some of these replies and he got very upset and yelled (which if you know my husband is barely over a whisper) “I CANT MARRY YOU ANY HARDER I KNOW IVE GOOGLED IT MANY TIMES”

Y’all I’m obsessed with this idiot

[kaity--did]

We had the baby! She was 13 weeks early! My husband got to hold her for the first time yesterday (due to her being in the NICU) and he took one look at her and said

“Oh yeah yup. I’m never going to be able to tell you no to anything ever in my whole entire life. We’re gonna have so many dogs. Oh I’m in so much trouble”

Also it’s his birthday

So he’s doing great ❤️