the one and only

mulch, tombstone, the grouch (rp joke account) posts sent from dirt

[orangerosebush]

Sadly this is Mulch (poster) and Artemis' (13 y/o) dynamic

[therealmulchdiggums]

what are some lesser-known facts about you

not favourites but food i like: toast with only honey on it and jackson polluck paintings

[cryingprotection]

[therealmulchdiggums]

why does ur bio say tombstone

they call me that cause of my TEETH!!

[therealmulchdiggums]

Question for ya mulch, if aliens turn out to be real and have food people, fairy or human, have never tried before and could be poisonous, would you be the first brave dwarf to step up and try it?

absolutely. hold on i have to go ask artemis something

[mysterypond]

It’s always “why did you dig a hole to sleep in” and “you’re covered in dirt” and never How was the hole The hole looked fun was it fun

[therealmulchdiggums]

what's your opinion on asian food

asia's big, but i've gotten around. most of its good, but that western stuff can be nasty

[therealmulchdiggums]

mulch, what's your comfort food?

small house spiders (i eat them like peanuts)

[inchwormy]

[volk-swag-genitalia-deactivated]

@therealmulchdiggums

[stupid-dyke]

[sweetpeauserboxes]

[id: a light yellow userbox with a pastel green border, and pastel green text that reads “this user eats rocks.” on the left is an image of a rock. /end id]

[chocoberryxoxo]

@therealmulchdiggums

[fowl-fox-deactivated20241111]

Artemis Senior, sleepily crawling into bed, shifts his leg only to brush it up against something warm and hairy nestled under the covers.

Milliseconds later, there's a holler, followed by banging noises, followed by Mulch Diggums running out of the master bedroom giggling.

[therealmulchdiggums]

(horrible crunching noises) yeah, don't worry about that, i'll be fine

[fan-enby-anonymous]

Artemis about Mulch circa book 8

[woodyisahugetwink]

[therealmulchdiggums]

What happens if two dwarves don’t realize they’re digging straight for each other and collide?

Stuff like that doesn't happen much because of our high senses underground, but usually they collide

[fowlfederluft]

On the debate who has the biggest bumm in the fowl cast:

he thiccest member of the fowl cast is Mulch

You can't deny it, his ass is canon

He has a dumbtruck of an ass and is thiccer than most cake.

His bottom is so round it makes flat earthers reconsider

[artemis-fowl-incident-report]

Me: (weeping on the floor) Why? Why are we discussing this?