Dungeon Master Claire

I once received a marriage proposal solely so that the other party would own half of my Masterpiece Optimus Prime. I insisted on a pre-nup. On this blog you will find Dungeons and Dragons stuffs, fandom reblogs and tidbits about the goings-on in my life.

[omghotmemes]

This is what he would have wanted

[aztechnology]

op link the video it’s fucking hilarious

[comingfromastatechampionasshole]

Easy, Lazy, Potato Soup

I Am A Lazy Asshole With No Motivation Because the World is Broken Potato Soup

This is a great, comforting, extremely low effort soup. Who among us has any motivation right now? I like to serve it with a buffet of toppings, by which I mean go ahead and dig around in your fridge for anything to put on top of it. I’ll give you some ideas! 

3-4 pounds of potatoes, cubed into about 1-2 inch cubes. Not to go full Cooking 101 with Holligay, but there are two major types of potatoes, starchy and waxy, and you want waxy type for this or the texture will be off! Easy to find waxy types are Yukon Gold and Red. 

1 medium onion, chopped

6 cloves of garlic, chopped lazily. 

2 tbsp of dried thyme or dill or basil or whatever your herb of choice generally is

2 tsp (or more) smoked paprika

4 cups chicken or veg broth. 

A heaping spoonful of whole grain mustard

Salt and pepper (Or Alpine, which is the greatest choice. I use alpine and pepper) 

1.5 cups heavy cream. 

Toppings! Anything you like, but ideas: chopped green onion, bacon, cheese, sour cream, sauteed mushrooms, go nuts. 

Toss everything but the cream and toppings into a slow cooker. Cook on low eight hours or high for four hours if you MUST but it tastes better on low for eight. 

Stir in heavy cream and use an immersion blender, regular blender, or food processor to blend until creamy. Adjust seasoning to taste, put in a bowl with any toppings you fancy, and eat! IT’S THAT EASY. 

[keyofjetwolf]

Jesus fucking wept you guys, this soup is INCREDIBLE. It’s thick and hearty and absolutely delicious. Try this soup, and know what is the first dish on heaven’s chef menu.

[dduane]

This looks good. :)

[speremint]

why am i allowed to draw

[harriyanna-deactivated20221223]

everyone forgot about this wholesome video so i dug through the deep files of the internet cause it needs to be seen again

[bugsongs]

bacon pancakes state of mind saturday

[theshambler]

[the sky is grey and it's cold outside]

me: yesssss

[the wind picks up and it starts to rain]

me: Y ESSSSSSS

[everybidenjusthavegoodtime]

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

[hotcommunist-deactivated2019032]

invasive species encroach on lesbian territory

[dreaming-shark]

This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.

[ailithnight]

A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.

Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.

[chequerootlurks]

As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.

Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.

This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.

A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.

Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.

One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.

Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.

Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.

Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.

Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.

[thatdisasterauthor]

As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.

[swindle94]

now how in the FUCK am i supposed to leave tumblr when a god tier post like THIS is just is just waiting for me daily?!?!?!

[vetmedirl]

Bisexuals chillin in Ace Hardware, shopping for leather gardening gloves, avoiding your drama.

[gestopft-deactivated20200103]

is this what the kids are listening to these days?

[stevedusa]

Took me a while to identify what in the world the other brass was till I realized it wasn’t.

[beelzibubbles]

Someone even transcribed it!

[abkvs]

jesus god someone transcribed this i can’t believe it

(for those of u who are new to my house: my cousin is the one playing the chair)

[elodieunderglass]

Transcript for the hearing impaired:

TOOT scoot scoot TOOT scoot scoot

[whispycayenne]

I love this so much

[bidoof]

will there ever be anything more timelessly funnier on this site than seeing some joyless idiot asserting their stupid controversial worldviews internet toughguy style and then checking their blog and they’re just, completely openly and shamelessly addicted to hentai

[apolloniosofrhodes-deactivated2]

This post was a historic moment

[smbc-comics]

[naphthalin]

仙星降臨

[arealtrashact]

The first Lost Boy

[jaycee-penny-art]

oh shiiiiit you right

[mewwitch]

[crystalleena-deactivated2022101]

OOOOOOHHHHHHH I LOVE THIS

[aughtpunk]

huh I wonder what this art is for oH FUCK

[markv5]

[sailorbrazil]

absolute unit

[kaible-deactivated20181205]

ROUND!!!!!!!!!!

[kaijuno]

R O T U N D

[kelssiel]

A Full-bodied Experience

[softest-star-deactivated2021053]

B O D E

[bestthriftfinds]

positively Rotund

[aghostintheforest]

@bears-official

[bears-official]

ORBULAR & friend shaped!!!

[buggyeyes]

SPHERICAL

[wholesome90stv]

X-Files Season 6 behind the scenes

[bossymarmalade]

they make the best aliens because little girls are fucking bizarre, nobody else can match that energy

[froginakettle]

In an interview he said that the boys always ended up breaking their costumes bc they would fight each other, but the girls Got. Into. Character. and were amazing creepy little aliens. 

[fairyofsomething]

You go, you funky little girl aliens

[whitepeopletwitter]

[samshine-and-lollipops-deactiva]

Wait, it got better.

[shitpostbot5k]

[micdotcom]

Watch: Complaining about political correctness says more about you than it does others.

[kevinwada-deactivated20230323]

This says, so succinctly, what I’ve always tried to say about political correctness and how it is not a new thing, nor is it a bad thing.