When I make eye contact my dog wags his tails and stops when I look away (via)

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When I make eye contact my dog wags his tails and stops when I look away (via)
The New American Gothic (2017) by Criselda Vasquez
LMFAO
every time you make art of any kind, a stat that is not visible to the player goes up. also, this is the most important stat in the game
does singing in the shower count as art
does a strong as fuck ice mummy have ice powers
i dont care if monday sucks... tuesday cost me sixty bucks... wednesday thursday give no fucks. it's friday im a duck
My girlfriend and I are laying quietly in the pitch black bedroom. In a soft whisper with no inflection, I said, “Someone is here.”
My girlfriend’s whole body stiffens and they go, “What the FUCK!”
They didn’t feel the little kitty feet I felt or have the context so instead of understanding a cat was joining us in bed they thought I was signaling the start of a horror movie.
You got a rug designed to look like an Ouija board as a gift. Liking it, you placed it in your living room. Now your roomba’s summoned a demon and it can’t leave until the roomba asks for something.
“…it’s a Roomba.”
“I know,” the demon sighed, looking just as annoyed as you felt about all this. The Roomba in question brushed past your feet, sucking up the ash that the demon had thrown up with his explosive entrance in your living room. At least the rug that had started all this was gone.
“…it can’t think.”
“I know.”
“So, uh…how can it ask for things?” Sure, you anthropomorphized your Roomba, everyone did, but that didn’t mean it could make a deal. “I mean, I like the wings and…” Your gestured to the demon, not sure how to word this. Your monster-fucking fantasies never prepared you for this. “Your everything, but that doesn’t mean I want you haunting my living room for all eternity.”
The Roomba beeped the same moment as the demon grinned.
“Well, with that, how can I say no to that request?” A clawed hand grabbed your own and suddenly you were being pulled out of your house. “Your Roomba’s a little matchmaker.”
“Wait, what-”
Why do they keep taking away their swag/cuteness
The raptors one is the most painful one for me they literally had a dinosaur playing basketball in their logo maybe the coolest thing in the fucking world and they were like let's get rid of him
Controversial Truths About Ancient Egypt Masterpost
The pyramids were built by contemporary workers who received wages and were fed and taken care of during construction
The Dendera “lightbulb” is a representation of the creation myth and has nothing to do with electricity
We didn’t find “““copper wiring””” in the great pyramid either
Hatshepsut wasn’t transgender
The gods didn’t actually have animal heads
Hieroglyphs aren’t mysteriously magical; they’re just a language (seriously we have shopping lists and work rosters and even ancient erotica)
The ancient Egyptian ethnicity wasn’t homogeneous
Noses (and ears, and arms) broke off statues and reliefs for a variety of reasons, none of which are “there is a widespread archaeological conspiracy to hide the Egyptian ethnicity”
The carvings at Abydos aren’t modern machines but recarvings over old carvings. Sure they look like them but if you can read hieroglyphs and know that Ramesses II will even usurp the carvings of his own father just to be a little shit
‘No soot on the ceilings and walls of the Dendera temple!’ is actually because of extensive restoration works and not because Egyptians were in on shit like Baghdad “batteries”
While the Egyptians were fine-ass astronomers they didn’t align any of their enormous and/or important buildings to modern star constellations, because constellations look very different now than they did ~5000 years ago
The pyramid is the simplest, sturdiest shape with which to build and many different cultures discovered this in their own time. There were never any weird fish humans/aliens involved
The sphinx of Gizah is only an approximate 5000 years old; the 10,000 year/rain erosion nonsense is proven hokum
Speaking of that particular sphinx, the Napoleonic expedition is not responsible for its missing nose
Akhenaten was not a “heretic” by contemporary standards
Ramses II appropriated a lot of his predecessors’ buildings/reliefs and isn’t really deserving of the epithet “the Great”
The Battle of Kadesh ended in a stalemate (twice)
While they had feline deities throughout their history, Egyptians didn’t actually worship cats themselves. This was a later Greek/Ptolemaeic addition
It was not, in fact, practice to shave off eyebrows after cats died; Herodotus lied about that
Herodotus lied about a lot of things and many misconceptions about ancient Egypt can be traced back to his Greek ass
I can’t believe I forgot my favourite Hill to Die On
Seth was not the god of “evil”, and despite his chaos providing a foil to order, he wasn’t completely villified until very late in Egyptian history, when he became associated with despised foreign enemies
Hats off to the few of you who’re reblogging this with tags saying you’re going to check my claims later. You make me not entirely despair of this hellhole.
Here are some vetted Egyptological books/sources (that are by and large appropriate for a lay-audience) you can find most, if not all of the above:
Lehner, M., The Complete Pyramids
Wilkinson, R. H., The Complete Temples of Ancient Egypt
Hornung, E., The One and the Many: Conceptions of God in Ancient Egypt
Dunand, F. & Zivie-Coche, C., Gods and Men in Egypt
Kemp, B., Ancient Egypt: Anatomy of a Civilization
Bard, K., An Introduction to the Archaeology of Ancient Egypt
Stevenson Smith, W., The Art and Architecture of Ancient Egypt
Kitchen, K. A., The Life and Times of Ramesses II, King of Egypt
Sweeney, D., Sex and Gender (in Ancient Egypt)
McDowell, A. G., Village Life in Ancient Egypt: Laundry Lists and Love Songs
Te Velde, H., Seth, God of Confusion
Guys do me a solid and reblog this version instead of continuously asking for sources on the other versions thanks
Excuse me please post ancient erotica link
hey it’s not my fault people keep reblogging the version without it!
sometimes you have to read your dad's texts and just move on with your day
This man’s Jewish father is gonna guilt trip *ME* into calling *MY* parents.
It's absolutely crazy that intellectual labor can wipe you out. It seems like it shouldn't be a thing, like your stores of brain juice shouldn't be able to be depleted in that way.
I feel like a wizard that's out of spell slots, and to me that's a hackish mechanical limitation put in place to try to balance the classes.
This is weird bevause ive had this exact thought before
Actually it really does help to paint the picture
"why don't you set an alarm to remind yourself to put your marbles in your bag?" i will fill your shoes with goo
I thought I needed a new laptop but nope, youtube is slowing down your PC if you have adblock on on any open tab...
To be very clear about this: CPUs aren't magical devices that can operate forever. They generate heat. They wear out over time. This happens faster when they're operating near capacity. This is not just an attempt to inconvenience you; this is an attempt to damage your property.
For the "crime" of not wanting to be tracked/have ads pissed into your eyeballs 24/7.
Even if you've paid for the "privilege" of the latter.
Fuck Google, and I hope they get sued into oblivion over this.
i see everyone in the notes talking about newpipe but nobody's talking about youtube alternatives for desktop
IF YOU USE A DESKTOP PC OR LAPTOP, TRY INVIDIOUS
https://invidious.io/
it is a free, open-source alternative YouTube front-end. in addition to not having ads, it has other great QoL features like a download button. try one of the several instances on that link up there ^^^^
When I make eye contact my dog wags his tails and stops when I look away (via)
Did you hear a new love language just dropped? yeah its crazy. Its called just fuckin biting them.
reblogging this but shaking my head the whole time to show i don't believe in love languages
Reblogging this while biting someone and shaking my head the whole time to rend flesh