This isn't for you

wait what was the point of this again .

[maxxie-or-smth]

every 5 minutes i go wow i NEED to kill myself and then i ignore it because i have things to do

[mothprincess]

i can always relate to a girl who wants to leave

[thestarsdancedtonight]

picture: im on the couch watching a movie. my younger siblings simultaneously lean their heads onto my shoulders, gently like leaves covering a tree branch. my fondness for these terrible and brilliant kids bursts through my heart marching band style. so i just stay still and breathe normally even as my eyes tear up and my chest explodes with sunshine and fireworks and a brutal sentimental ache.

the last time we were in that exact position was years ago, when they were younger and smaller and would sometimes mistakenly call me mom.

these two whirlwind teenagers finding comfort in me blows me away sometimes. it's entirely unsurprising, and yet still catches me off guard every now and then. they'll act so independent some days and brush off my advise. the next day im making them breakfast or help find their stuff. i am endlessly endeared and annoyed and endeared and annoyed and then hearing their dumb jokes and laughing with them.

i guess being a big sister will always be this. being overwhelmed by all the love, and hope and gratefulness, i have for them. being amazed by all the love, and hope and gratefulness, i have for them. being scared by all the love, and hope and gratefulness, i have for them. being brave by all the love, and hope and gratefulness, i have for them.

anyways getting older has made me so emotional trust im fighting the embarrassment so hard

[fairycosmos]

subject shows painful degree of self awareness paired with a complete inability to act on it

[ceruleanheaven]

month starting on a monday we have no excuse guys lets get to work and lock the fuck in

[ceruleanheaven]

yk its actually very chic and avant garde to start on tuesday the second

[ceruleanheaven]

many claim theres nothing more subversive and revolutionary than starting on wednesday the third

[ceruleanheaven]

there are simply no words in the english language that can describe starting on thursday the fourth. thats how iconic it is

[ceruleanheaven]

choosing to start on friday the fifth. i just think its very inspiring

[ceruleanheaven]

lets all kill ourselves

[damazcuz]

"What were you doing at the devils sacrament" jarking my whole thing off. Next quiestuon.

[dustisus]

the trifecta

[isabellecantread]

i enjoy the miserable girl character.

[ceruleanheaven]

all that and i havent killed myself yet i must really love this stupid fucking life

[kosmogrl]

baby girl I can complicate situations you’ve never even thought of

[ornitharts]

[reading-writing-revolution]

[ashenmind]

truly breathtaking just how many series would be massively improved if the author gave a shit about women

[hangsawoman]

leave tonight or live and die this way

[ihopejakeydiesnow]

[averytauntingletter]

i will never be convinced that lucas' storyline in season 4 of st is not a tragedy. a young black boy feels as if he must give up the interests that he has held all his life and that he loves and that are a part of him and become a part of something more socially acceptable just so that he wouldn't have to get bullied and treated horribly and he wouldn't be the victim of racism anymore...oh my son. having to be on the same basketball team that fell all over themselves trying to impress billy hargrove the year before, the man that attacked him and hated him for the crime of being black and wanting to befriend a girl because he doesnt want to worry about getting hate-crimed in the street. everytime someone boils him down to playing basketball a flower dies he would much prefer to be playing dnd and indulging in the interests he's had for years with the friends he's had for years but he feels as though he must play basketball because basketball is safe and basketball offers protection and social capital and basketball players dont get accused of being in cults and dont get beat up by men 5 years older than them

oh lucas sinclair the duffers could never write you correctly

[bean-there-before]

ive been thinking about lucas so much recently. i love him so much he deserves more of my brain space actually. especially ive been thinking about during season 4 when he tells the team that erica's the one who likes d&d and not him. ignoring for a moment the sadness that he has to put away one of his favorite things in the world for his own physical safety i'm now considering him post season 4 finale finding out that jason went to his house and talked to erica. and yeah he didn't do anything then but i can't imagine how lucas would feel knowing he put his sister in danger rather than himself.

also rewatching that scene where jason is talking to erica, it's so scary. she tries to close the door multiple times and he pushes it back open and you can see these moments where both of their facades crack just a little bit. you can see erica's snarkiness go away and her fear at this white man who is significantly older than her hit at the same time that you see jason's polite small town smile falter just a little bit

[bombshellsandbluebells]

one of my favorite things about Lucas in season 5 is how ready he is to support and protect his friends. in s4, the storyline is a little shakily done, but I think the idea is that while he was constantly reaching out to Max, he wasn't really recognizing where she was at. he was viewing things like how their relationship had previously been -- Max breaks up with him, he pursues and wins her back, they get back together. but Max wasn't pushing him away like she had previously over silly drama, she was self-isolating. she didn't feel like she DESERVED someone loving her.

"I see you now. I see you." marks the moment where Lucas recognizes what's actually happening, and it changes from "I'm trying to win you back" to "I'm supporting you however you need. I'm just here."

and I think we can see that steady support in s5 with his friends as well. not only is he a constant presence at Max's bedside, but he's defending Dustin from the bullies. he's arguing that El knows what's best for her and can handle herself. he trusts Will to be able to handle locking into the hive mind through the dead demo.

like Lucas learns SO MUCH about supporting his friends through the series, and he's such a wise but supportive presence by the end.

if there was a way to improve this, however, it would be that Lucas's own wants and emotions didn't get neglected by his friends and received more validation post s4. we never get to see the others recognize how abandoned Lucas felt by them choosing the DnD game without him over supporting him BACK. we don't get Dustin recognizing how much Lucas puts himself on the line to stand between him and the rest of the basketball team. hell, there's not much acknowledgement that Lucas is likely no longer on the team after the events of s4.

like as much as I love Lucas growing into this constant bastion of wise, steady support and how much that reflects the strengths he started with but with added maturity (loyal, fierce, ready to fight for his loved ones, but less ready to be a hothead or go off alone), it would have been nice to see his friends support HIM as well