Theseus Scamander

The pain of being obsessed with a side character :(

[true-bluesargent]

the thing is is that you'll be like. 11 years old and someone will tell you that you have to shave your legs. either it will be your mum or a friend or a mean girl in the p.e. changing rooms telling you how gross it is that you have hair on your legs. so then you ask your mum about it and she says yep you have to take this razor blade and drag it across your skin under running water and just hope you don't cut yourself too badly and you have to do this every single week and maybe more frequently than that and you have to do that for fucking ever. the rest of your fucking life. because the hair that grows naturally on your legs is gross and ugly and people will laugh and boys won't like you! of course boys have hair on THEIR legs. but that's normal and even attractive and it's just not the same for you. and a few years later they'll say well you obviously should also be shaving your armpits. and then it's your arms and then it's that you have to wax your upper lip and pluck your eyebrows and ewww why do you have hair on your fingers and your toes.. you need to shave that too. and then suddenly you need to buy spray that will make invisible hairs on your face visible so that you can shave that too! and it's expensive and time consuming and difficult and it HURTS but they just say beauty is pain babe! and you're not allowed to say that maybe if beauty is pain then you don't actually want to be beautiful

[true-bluesargent]

and i'm so fucking tired of girls who do shave being defensive when this topic comes up because then i have to say well of COURSE it's your personal choice whether you want to shave or not! no offense! maybe it makes you feel empowered! you do it for YOURSELF! because that's bullshit and i actually DO think you should stop shaving your legs because it's not fucking empowering it's insane. if you give it more than a minute of thought it can't possibly be empowering. you're in a PRISON!!!!! and i was in the prison too okay and i know it seems hard to break out but i promise you it's not. and the more people we can break out of the prison the easier it gets for everyone else i swear to god. please

[neenarchive]

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

[neenarchive]

starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homewear are any of you actually lost

[elektrashocktherapy]

At the checkout in Home Goods loading the belt with nothing but candelabras in all shapes & sizes while the cashier watches sympathetically and asks if it’s the maidens again

[crabanarchy]

I can tell my evil advisor has been feeling down lately so I've been pretending to take big sips from his cursed chalice and then roaming the palace grounds groaning and clutching my abdomen. Lowkey I know it's deceptive but I can tell it's really cheering him up. I heard him evilly cackle for the first time in weeks. WIBTA if I keep doing this

[mosslingg]

My liege im sorry to break it to you but your advisor that's actually evil and wants you dead turned out to be straight. I know you really wanted to have an enemies to lovers situation with him. Yeah I'm afraid the poisoning didn't hold any romantic intent behind it. The king of the enemy kingdom is bisexual though, I could send him a letter? Yes, I'll make sure to include multiple threats of homoerotic nature. You will have your toxic yaoi, my liege

[five-flavor-soup]

firelord zuko who loves going to the southern water tribe not just bc it makes katara happy but also bc he’s treated like a normal guy and is put to work and only needs to do breathing exercises to remain optimally warm. not only is he meditating as he goes, he can make himself SO useful outside of the politics of it all. kanna doesn’t feel like using the spark rocks for a fire? chop chop blowtorch boy, the fire won’t start itself. they need hot water? yeah katara’s boy can heat that up in a few seconds and he can also do the laundry. he’ll get to you in a minute he’s making me tea. hakoda is like mom you can’t just demand the firelord does chores and kanna goes well he’s not the firelord here is he. hashtag not my firelord. and don’t pretend you didn’t come in here to take him hunting. zuko is like oh i can tag along if you need me to and kanna goes no you need to do dishes after that tea is done. hakoda slinks back out and is like sorry boys the space heater can’t go, and sokka is like ah fuck. is gran-gran hogging him again. i was hoping he could warm my hands when they get cold. and katara goes well i wish you would all stop stealing my boyfriend but we can’t all get what we want can we sokka.

[cosmicallytiredd]

hate to break this to you but if you call yourself self aware but you are only aware of your faults and never acknowledge your strengths you are not self aware. you have repackaged your self hatred

[airlocksandaviariesarchive]

2 genres of fanfiction:

1) put that guy into situations

2) take that guy OUT of situations for the love of GOD let them REST 

[ckret2]

#you put the sad guy in #you take the sad guy out #you put the sad guy in and you shake him all about

[xargon]

me: yeah so a few years ago someone invented infinite scrolling and really it was a terrible idea

the elf I just hooked up with, taking the lavender and honeysuckle lollipop from their mouth: An infinite scroll... most elfmaidens learn to enchant a scroll to never end before they're a mere 300 years old. It saves on paper.

me: oh see that's just writing, with social media it's really bad, it just leads to people doomscrolling all day

the elf I just hooked up with, spluttering and panicked: The Doomscroll! Be silent human, thou shoulds't not speak the name of that fell parchment

me: oh so you get it

[omtai]

oh log we’re really in it now

[rylandsgrace]

#Mood

Gilmore Girls (2000 - 2007) I 2.08

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Me, tears streaming down my face, sobbing, as I stare at the stars: it’s just so beautiful

The medieval peasant I went back in time to give a bag of Doritos to, concerned: what terrible and powerful sorcerers they must have in your age, to be able to veil the vault of heaven itself from view, as you say

Me, sniffling: I didn’t realize, I can’t, it’s so much, I, I… are the chips good, at least?

Medieval peasant, trying to make me feel better: they’re… magical, strange traveler

[arielseaworth]

“Perhaps you have forgotten. That’s one of the great problems of our modern world, you know. Forgetting. The victim never forgets. Ask an Irishman what the English did to him in 1920 and he’ll tell you the day of the month and the time and the name of every man they killed. Ask an Iranian what the English did to him in 1953 and he’ll tell you. His child will tell you. His grandchild will tell you. And when he has one, his great-grandchild will tell you too. But ask an Englishman—” He flung up his hands in mock ignorance. “If he ever knew, he has forgotten. ‘Move on!’ you tell us. ‘Move on! Forget what we’ve done to you. Tomorrow’s another day!’ But it isn’t, Mr. Brue.” He still had Brue’s hand. “Tomorrow was created yesterday, you see. That is the point I was making to you. And by the day before yesterday, too. To ignore history is to ignore the wolf at the door.”

- A Most Wanted Man, John le Carré

[south-africa-official]

Official post of South Africa

[kimiko24]

You're life isn't yours if you always care what others think. // Remember when you wanted what you currently have?

[source]

[crabussy]

holy shit I just discovered this crazy technique for being right almost all of the time it's called "double checking something before boldly stating it as if it were fact" this could be the next big thing. this could be the song of the summer

[primulaceas]

Naomi Shihab Nye, “Sifter.” A Maze Me: Poems for Girls

[cheruib]

that comment about how you should not borrow grief from the future has saved me multiple times from spiraling into an inescapable state of anxiety. like every time i find myself thinking about how something in the future could go wrong i remember that comment and i think to myself: well i never know, it might get better. it might not even happen the way i think it will and if it does happen and it is sad and bad ill be sad about it then, when it happens. and it’s somehow soo freeing

[theliterarygnome]

Edward Culllen + text posts

Twilight (2008)