The Truth Behind Reality

[thetruthbehindreality-blog]

The Reasons Why I Had Not Been Active

I know I hadn’t been writing blogs about my goals and diets, but the truth is.. I haven’t been eating so healthy. To be honest, I barely went to the gym this summer. A lot of things had happened in the past few months. I felt insecure, confused and scared. I felt so insecure that at some point I wanted to delete all my social media, including this blog. But I didn’t do it. I started going down hill in March when I started to have a crush on a girl. I knew and accept myself for not being straight 3 years ago, because, lets be honest here, this isn’t the first time I have a crush on a girl haha. 

The thing is, I haven’t been out to my family yet, but I had tried. Many times. The response wasn’t exactly supportive, therefore I went back into closet. What happened next was really complicated and hard to explain, maybe I will talk about it in the future. I am still in the closet, and I really really desperately want to be out and be openly gay. Because I feel bad and guilty for doing things behind their back. But I’m scared as fucked. I’m scared of the society and everything. The anxiety takes over and I wouldn’t be able to do anything but lying on the bed. It sucks. It really does. The only person that could make me feel better was my best friend, but at this point, I don’t think we are even friends anymore. It’s really complicated. So this is why I decided to come back to blogging. (I changed the name because,tbh, i think it fits better with the content of blog haha) After all, the whole reason why I started this blog is to document all the ups and downs of my life. Hopefully, by doing this, it will help me to get through this part of my life, and it will help other people who are going through the similar things too. 

[thetruthbehindreality-blog]

I DID IT!! After months of saving my hair and ignoring the temptation to get a haircut, I did it! I finally did it. I was surprised that I was able to cut off 12 inches of hair and being mushroom head..haha This is a great experience for me, and it’s something that I wanted to do for a long time. And it is probably the last time I will have my hair that long ever again haha.. since it takes a lot of time ,energy, most importantly shampoo and conditioner to maintain the quality of my hair. Especially because I go diving and to the gym a lot and chlorine damages my hair. One thin off of my bucket list, and more to be achieved! I still not quite sure what I want to do next, but right now it is to donate blood. Well...haha.. to be honest, I don’t think I am ready for that yet so.. maybe one day in the future..just maybe :p So yea.. I want to do something next but still not quite sure what to do yet... so feel free to leave a comment or suggestion below of what I should do next :) Talk to you next time!! :D 

Love,

Char

[thetruthbehindreality-blog]

The Result of my 3.5 Weeks of Sugar Free Challenge

Hello again! Long time no see! First of all, sorry for the lack of update recently, I had been insanely busy with school and paper work..:/ So! I think the last time I was on this blog, I was talking about me starting a sugar free diet. Well I think I did pretty well. My diet ended a few days ago because I ate a granola bar because I was really hungry and I did not have any other option. After this 3 weeks of challenge, I realized that pretty much every meal we eat everyday has sugar in eat. It is impossible for me to find a drink, other than water or milk, that doesn’t have added sugar in it. The same applies to snacks. The first few days of going sugar free wasn’t so bad because of my motivation and ambition, but a few days later, the craving starts. The way I overcame it was to eat a lot of fruit. I eat a lot of oranges lately because it stops my craving for sugar and in addition, it also brightens up my mood, which is good because it’s cold and dark right now in Canada. Even though I hadn’t been completely sugar free for a few days now, surprisingly I am not going crazy with sugar. I somehow am pretty much sticking with the sugar free diet without any effort. I think my sugar free diet was successful and I am planning to start again in March after I clean a few things like granola bars, jams, and cereal out of my fridge and pantry first so that I don’t waste any food. :P 

[thetruthbehindreality-blog]

The Time I Started a Sugar-Free Challenge

Dear Internet,

ALRIGHT!.. DISCLAIMER HERE!! I know this is going to be EXTREMELY hard for me since I LOVE sugar, but I had looked back and realized I am not getting the result that I want from my workout yet. I realized that it is mostly because of my diet. I admit that what I ate and when I ate during the day wasn’t exactly the “ideal” workout/training diet, but I am in school and when stress and exams come, so does ur desire to eat everything in the fridge. I realized that I just couldn’t lose belly fat, and I found out that sugar is one of the things that is responsible for that chunk of “restored energy” in front of my belly. I also haven’t been working out like I should. Well, I have but I for the last few weeks, I would workout for days and not work out for like another couple of days, instead of being consistent. It isn’t because I couldn’t go to the gym, but it’s more like I felt lazy and sore. I really need to be consistent, because I see that I worked hard and got stronger, but that only lasts for about a week before I fall back to where I started. And same things applies to my diet. This is also going to be harder since it is winter time and I live in Canada, which is like a freezer right now tbh, and I can get sick really easily from the cold, which that can set me back from my workout plans/ goals. So this isn’t just a sugar free challenge, but more like a being healthy challenge. I’m not going to be super strict about carbs, because I do need carbs in my body to function properly,but I don’t need sugar from drinks and processed food. Since I am just starting out, I am just going to try for one week! AKA 7 days, starting tomorrow. I think I can do it!Wait no.. I GOT THIS!!

Sincerely,

Char

[thetruthbehindreality-blog]

FIRST BLOG IN 2016!

Dear Internet,

Hey guys! I’m back!! XD haha. Sorry I kind of stop doing the daily blogs in all the sudden and yea..:/ I guess it’s only right for me to tell you why I stopped doing daily blogs. Well, I think you all see it coming. First of all.. blogging everyday is pretty hard, especially you have 10 other things to do in your day. As you can see.. for the few blogs that I wrote.. they aren’t that interesting and they are usually late. I basically just lost interest doing daily blogs. Well..it’s more like I already feel exhausted at the end of the day, and doing the daily blogs was like one more thing on the list to do before I can rest. I feel like if I am not happy or enjoying when doing this, why am I doing it then. So. basically, I just got really busy with diving, school, and project that I am working, and doing daily blogs just don’t work for me at the moment. So yea... I decided to take this moment to clear everything up. BUT HEY! That doesn’t mean I won’t blog anymore. I will still do it but maybe not everyday. I will also be posting and releasing new original fun stuff in the future so stay tune!! 

Love,

Char

[thetruthbehindreality-blog]

Day56: The Time I Wrote My Last Blog In 2015

Satisfaction:8/10                 Hrs for diving:0            Hrs for school:0

Breakfast:none

Lunch:curry noodles, eggs

snack:grapes

Dinner:none

Dear Internet,

First of all, the time I eat has been all over the place for the past one week if you paid attention. I didn’t not have breakfast for most of the days and it’s because I woke up like 12pm and go to sleep at 1 am everyday. Today is the last day of 2015!! I can’t believe that it’s been a year already. This had been a great year and I am looking forward to 2016 and to see what life have in store for me. Today was just a really relaxing day. I was pretty much on youtube watching videos all day. It was awesome. I am actually going to go to sleep early today because I need to fix my sleep schedule as soon as possible and have a fresh start in 2016. Happy New Year everyone!!

Hope. Dreams. Motivation. Optimistic. 

Love,

Char

[thetruthbehindreality-blog]

Day55: The Time I Locked Myself Out

Satisfaction:8/10                 Hrs for diving:2.5           Hrs for school:3

Breakfast:none

Lunch:salad

snack:none

Dinner:curry noodles, eggs

Dear Internet,

Oh man! I can’t believe I locked myself out of my room again. Thanks god that I live in residence and that there are people there for me if I lock myself out. This is actually the third time in this term. I haven’t actually lose my keys yet( let’s hope that I don’t and let’s not jinx it), I just lock myself out accidentally. The funny thing is, I realized it half a second after I shut the door. Every. Single. Time. Anyway, the only good news about me locking myself out this time is that I don’t have to pay 10 dollars to borrow keys, which is awesome, because since I borrowed keys before earlier this term, I would have to pay 10 dollars every time I need to borrow them. After that dramatic incident, I went to the gym as planned today. I can really say that I worked really hard today, because I did and I feel super sore after it. Later tonight, which is right now, I just uploaded the video that I had been working on for the past few days and was responsible for my late/missed daily blogs. :p You can watch it here:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3vDRLl-JF8 and I hope you like it because I loved making it so much. Funny thing, I always upload and post something that I ended of editing it 10 seconds later. I don’t get why I couldn’t just watch the video and proof read everything before I post it. But yea.. hope you like it. I am also trying out style and different kinds of videos, so definitely let me know if you like this one and would like to see more of it in the future. That’s all for now! Talk to you later!

Work. Progress. Result. Breakthrough

Love,

Char

[thetruthbehindreality-blog]

Day54: The Time I Need To Get Back On Track

Satisfaction:8/10                 Hrs for diving:2           Hrs for school:5

Breakfast:toast and jam

Lunch:none

snack:none

Dinner:ham sandwich and eggs

Dear Internet,

Yeah.. I forgot to post a blog yesterday again. :/ I feel like this blogging thing is slipping off for me. Wow.. now I think about those daily bloggers, especially daily vloggers, they are amazing. The amount of determination and consistency on posting something daily is just “wow”. I feel kind of tired of writing something everyday now because I am so busy and I don’t always have the time to post something. Not even for 10 minutes. Anyway, yesterday was pretty average. I went hard in the gym and my arms are pretty sore today. I finished my “secret” project and I will add the intro and things like that and upload it today. Hopefully the school labs will be open, or else I am going to have to decide whether to post a poor quality video that was put together in iMovie, or a good one from PremierePro. I really need to get the adobe creative clouds but they are pricy compares to the number of time that I will use it on my own computer. Besides, I can use them on the school computers. That’s all for yesterday. Talk to you soon.

Focus. Self-Control. Think. Grateful. 

Love,

Char

[thetruthbehindreality-blog]

Day53: The Time I Turned 20

Satisfaction:9/10                 Hrs for diving:0           Hrs for school:7

Breakfast:toast and jam

Lunch:mashed potatoes

snack:none

Dinner:wine, spicy bbq chicken sandwich, frozen yogurt

Dear Internet,

So! Today is my special day. I didn’t really celebrate it the way other people would I guess. I decided to spend the day with myself, because I kind of want to spend some time with myself and just relax and do whatever I want. I started out my day by working on the secret project.( yes.. if you enjoy your work, then work doesn’t stop, not even on your birthday) I didn’t go to the gym nor diving today, because I am so sore from yesterday’s workout, besides the diving boards are broken. I am mostly done with my secret project, and with a few more hours of final editing, I think I will be able to upload it by tomorrow. That’s really all for today. 

Love,

Char

[thetruthbehindreality-blog]

Day52: The Time When I Forgot to Blog Again

Satisfaction:9/10                 Hrs for diving:2.5           Hrs for school:10

Breakfast:toast and jam

Lunch:none

snack:bananas

Dinner:mashed potatoes, fish

Dear Internet,

So.. this blog was actually for yesterday. I was so into working that I forgot to post one up. Nothing interesting yesterday actually. I was just working really hard on a secret project. I also went to gym but believe or not, the diving boards are closed, because for some reasons they are broken. I guess this made me feel less guilty for not working out last week for being lazy lol. Anyways, that’s pretty much it for yesterday. I will talk to you very soon in a couple of hours. :P

Focus. Dedication. Passion. Reward.

Love,

Char

[thetruthbehindreality-blog]

Day51: The Time I Forgot To Eat

Satisfaction:8/10                 Hrs for diving:0           Hrs for school:10

Breakfast:toast and jam

Lunch:mashed potatoes, chicken

snack:bananas

Dinner:none

Dear Internet,

Okay, so today’s blog is going to be super short, because I am working so something super cool and I really want to get back to work. So, I have been working on this for the entire day, and believe or not, I loved it! I even forgot to eat lol. Anyways, nothing really fancy happened today really, other than the fact that I cooked a delicious dish for myself. I forgot to at least take a picture of it because it was too delicious. So that’s all for today really, because I REALLY REALLY want to get back to work. Hopefully tomorrow I will have time to catch with you. Talk to you later!!

Passion. Joy. Excellence. Pride.

Love,

Char

[thetruthbehindreality-blog]

Day50: The Time I Did A Harry Potter Challenge

Satisfaction:8/10                 Hrs for diving:0           Hrs for school:9

Breakfast:toast and jam

Lunch:oranges 

snack:a ton of chocolate

Dinner: banana

Dear Internet,

First thing first! Merry Christmas everyone! I celebrated Christmas by eating and trying out different flavours of Lindor truffles from Lindt Chocolate. They are my absolute favourite! I used to not be able to eat dark chocolate because of the taste and bitterness, but I find that the Lindor truffles dark chocolate taste not bad to me. I’m not supposed to eat too much chocolate, but after me trying out most of the flavours in Lindor truffles, my favourite are the ones with white chocolate. I absolutely loved them. Moving on, I did not go to gym today because everywhere is closed, but I spend the rest of my day filming and editing video. Which while we are on the topic of that.. Here’s a new video I made on my Youtube channel!! :D I’m pretty sure you all guessed it right, it’s a Harry Potter challenge! The wizarding world of Harry Potter means a lot to me, and I don’t think my life would be the same as today without it, so go check it out! I hope you like it!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFsAQxduGEQ  That’s really all for today.I am going to read some books and tomorrow is going to be another day of video editing, and I might go out and buy more Lindor truffles :p See you tomorrow!!

Achievement. Reward. Celebration. Resolution.

Love,

Char

[thetruthbehindreality-blog]

Day49: The Time My Indecisiveness Troubles Me

Satisfaction:8/10                 Hrs for diving:1           Hrs for school:8

Breakfast:toast and jam

Lunch:none

snack:oranges

Dinner:mashed potatoes

Dear Internet,

First of all, lets just appreciate the amazing that we are having right now. 16 degrees on Christmas Eve. It felt like summer to be honest, even though it was a bit windy. I did a lot of work today. The gymnastic session yesterday was AMAZING. I learned a lot and I am so sore today. The location of the place is a bit far from my place and it’s till 11 pm. As much as I love it, I don’t think I will be actually take lessons there since the time of the classes are held so late. I might just go once in awhile for the drop-in sessions. Moving on, this morning I went out for a run. I feel like my biggest obstacle when I am running is that I have really bad endurance. For example, I can’t run for more than a few minutes because I felt bored, and I just get distracted on the thoughts of my heart pounding and every step that I take. It just makes me feel more tired. In addition, it is worse when there is no music. I don’t think it is my cardio work, because when I am training, I dive really fast and I don’t feel tired at all after climbing flights of stairs. Moving on, today I went and bought a movie ticket for my bday celebration. I was going to invite one or two friends to come. In fact, I had already asked them and they said yes. I decided not to because I kind of want to spend the day with myself. Just calm and enjoy a stress free day. Also, it is because I’m kind of on a tight budget too and my movie ticket that I bought is really late, and they live very far from the theatre. I don’t really want to trouble them. I feel like they felt disappointed that I cancelled my bday celebration, and I’m not sure what I did was right or not. By the way,this is a classic example of how my indecisiveness adds a little bit of drama to my daily life. So, that’s that. I didn’t really think or get distracted by that because I was so busy working on my own projects. I am on a tight schedule, and I really have to and trying to finish it in the next 3 days if possible. That’s all for now I guess. Oh.. almost forgot. When it comes to food, especially things that I am not suppose to have, I have no self control. I am not suppose to have any chocolate, but I went to the Lindt chocolate shop ( I have no idea how I ended up there), and I bought some chocolate. And now, I am thinking of going back and buy more. Ugh.. they are soo good! Anyways, that’s all for today I think. Talk to you later!

Cautious. Confess. Honest. Forgive.

Love,

Char

[thetruthbehindreality-blog]

Day48: The Time I Did Nothing All Day

Satisfaction:2/10                 Hrs for diving:2               Hrs for school:0

Breakfast:toast and jam

Lunch:none

snack:oranges

Dinner:mashed potatoes

Dear Internet,

Just another typical day really. I was a bit stressed about when I am trying to plan what to do on my birthday. I didn’t do much today, but I will be going to an open gym for gymnastics later today when I finish writing this blog. I am really looking forward to it actually. It was hard for me to do anything else today. My motivational level is still quite low. Maybe it is because everyone left for Christmas and I am pretty much the only one who’s still in residence. Hopefully, gymnastics will change this and I will be ready to work tomorrow. It is so ironic that when I am the busiest, I want to do so many things, but when I actually have free time to do the things that I want to do, my motivational level is super low and I decide to do nothing. There is no gym tomorrow nor the day after because everything will be close since it is Christmas Eve and Christmas. Hopefully, I will get started on some of my plans that I had planned tomorrow. Ugh..today has just been quite frustrating, but tomorrow is a new day. I will start fresh tomorrow and get things done!

Mistakes. Learn. Try. Repeat.

Love,

Char

[thetruthbehindreality-blog]

Day47: The Time I Wanted To Give Up

Satisfaction:6/10                 Hrs for diving:0               Hrs for school:0

Breakfast:none

Lunch:meatball sub, potatoes, pasta

snack:none

Dinner:cereal

Dear Internet,

Today is day 47th that I had started daily blogging. Hats off to those who blog or vlog daily. Oh man! This is tough. Not only you have to think of a topic everyday, but also do something everyday. And it’s not just “doing” something everyday, it has to be interesting and you HAVE to do something or else at the end of the day you will be feeling guilty because you just wasted another day of you precise life. I didn’t do much today. I just went grocery shopping. I was going to go to the theatre and watch movies but decided because I wanted to save money. Ugh.. I wish I am a billionaire lol, living under a budge is hard. #college students lol. I know I am supposed to go to gym like everyday, but my neck hurts :( . So I hope I will feel better tomorrow and I will get back on track. 

Can’t. Think. Of. Anything. 

Love,

Char

[thetruthbehindreality-blog]

Day46: The Time I Got Back On My Usual Routine

Satisfaction:7/10                 Hrs for diving:1               Hrs for school:5

Breakfast:none

Lunch:rice, meatball, eggs, potatoes

snack:none

Dinner: a slice of pizza,pasta, noodles

Dear Internet,

Oh MAN!..After today’s workout, I can feel that I gained a bit of unnecessary weight on me. I knew I gained weight because of how much I am eating(stress eating) and how “less” of physical activity that I did for the last 2 weeks because of finals. That’s why I am getting back on track now. Hopefully by the end of the holiday, I will see some improvements. I didn’t do a lot of strength and conditioning today to be honest, but I will work harder tomorrow. I didn’t actually work on school since school is over and there isn’t any more school work for me for now. I am actually working on some secret projects that I will be sharing with you guys later at the very end of the month and things for next year. So.. stay tune! :) That’s all for now, I really want to rest because my neck hurts. :( Talk to you later!

Persistent. Work. Reflect. Change

Love,

Char

[thetruthbehindreality-blog]

Day45: The Time I Watched Movies For 14 Hours Straight

Satisfaction:8/10                 Hrs for diving:0                 Hrs for school:0

Breakfast:none

Lunch:eggs, rice,seafood, a slice of pizza

snack:cookies

Dinner: a slice of pizza, tiny tuna sub, omelette, juice

Dear Internet,

Another day has come to the end, so does my “ do whatever I want weekend”. It was pretty good actually, although I didn’t do much. I just watched Harry Potter all day. So.. as promised, here is the update of my Harry Potter marathon. It took me 28 hours to finish watching all of the movie. BUT! That’s because I had to sleep when I finished watching the 6th movie. By the end of the 6th movie, I had already been watching movies for approximately 14 hours straight, so I kind of have to sleep because I got too tired. So, after 8 hours of sleep I woke up and finished the 2 deathly hallows ones. I really wanted to watch all without sleeping but I couldn’t I was too tired lol. So the past 2 days had been relaxing and I felt pretty good. Tomorrow, I am going to start my actual “plan” for the break. It should be fun and interesting. Who knows.. I guess we just have to wait till tomorrow and see! 

Excitement. Hope. Motivated. Energized. 

Love,

Char