Cue @theycallme-cue - Tumblr Blog

eye marbles

How do Chinese cooks cut vegetables

At first I was like, oh neat some fun tricks to make chopping faster and less messy, and then he made an extendable potato and I died

advanced-procrastination

Witchcraft

jumpingjacktrash

aww i love this guy making hand hearts at the camera i’m so proud of him

valtsv

thebestoftumbling

arvanitish

This is hands down the best tik tok ever made.

actualfkntrash

mAM dOES yOUR hUSBAND HAVE NIPPLES

drferox

A universal experience.

chocolatemilkaficionado

[Transcription: all speech in the video is auto-tuned]

Story time: I’m a vet tech and one time I was [???] this lady for an appointment with her little dog who was covered in bugs

I searched this dog high and low for bugs, couldn’t find a single one

I said ma’am can you please point out these bugs to me

She said oh my gosh can’t you see them they’re right on his belly

She showed me her dog’s nipples and proceeded to try to rip them off

I said ma’am no stop

Those are his nipples

She said

There’s no way, he’s a boy

I said ma’am that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have nipples

Those are definitely his nipples, notice how they’re so symmetrical

She said no way, he’s a boy I said

Ma’am doesn’t your husband have nipples

discardedscream

I add vet tech storytime….lady brings in a kitten, terribly concerned he’s got a cold or asthma or something…he’s always making this alarming sound in his chest but he’s so active and affectionate and loves to snuggle. Neither her or her husband have ever had a cat before, so she just wants to make sure they get everything right and take good care of their newest family member.

I pet the kitten as I give this lady pamphlets and a personalized Cat Owner 101 lesson.

The kitten is leaving a great time, nearly comatose with happy in my lapm

She goes “That’s it!! That’s the sound!! What’s wrong with him?! If there’s anything we can do, we’ll do it! He’s my son’s best friend, we love him!”

I stare at her helplessly, fighting every impulse because this woman is so genuine in her love and concern for this, the first cat her family has ever experienced.

“Ma'am,” I say, so, SO gently.

“Ma'am, he’s purring. It means you’re making him happy.”