Sirius Black x Nico Di Angelo (fanfic)
We Get in a Zombie Driver's Taxi...
A red light? What in the world does that Muggle contraption mean?
Dammit, we were supposed to stop! Argh, too late…
Riding in a taxi with a zombie for a driver was definitely the most terrifying thing I had ever seen!
I didn't know the driving rules of Muggles, let alone the ones in France where dear Jules-Albert came from, but I was pretty sure that flattening every obstacle in his path — traffic lights, trash cans, other cars — wasn't exactly authorized by the highway code. Just like in Quidditch, it went without saying that you weren't allowed to knock players off their brooms, hit them with all sorts of potentially dangerous curses, or, obviously, decapitate the opposing team. Well, Jules-Albert clearly had every intention of destroying as much as possible along the way. The zombie driver swung sharply around a street corner even though the light was red for us (Cam gave me a quick rundown of traffic rules — apparently a red light meant "STOP"). Jules-Albert was going so fast that he plowed into several cars coming the other way and triggered a chain-reaction pileup of about twenty vehicles. As a bonus, he took out a traffic light on the way. I clung to the handrails with all my strength to avoid being thrown out of the taxi. My fingers were swollen and bright red, but that wasn't the biggest concern right now — first we had to make it to our destination alive, and with Jules-Albert behind the wheel, that was looking very unlikely...
Cam fell on top of me yet again at a turn, Nico gripped his seat's handrail firmly but didn't seem worried in the slightest. He was probably used to riding around with Jules-Albert by now. Our little joyride was setting off a symphony of honking horns from the Muggles.
"He used to be a race car driver when he was alive!" Nico informed us. "He even won a rally once."
"Good for him… but we're in a Muggle city right now, your zombie is completely off his rocker!"
Wizards always said I was the crazy one, but they clearly hadn't met Jules-Albert. I could hear sirens wailing in the distance.
"We're supposed to be staying under the radar! I've already got wizards on my tail, I don't need Muggle cops after me too because of your zombie!"
"You're exaggerating, he's not even going that fast!"
But the scenery was blurring past so wildly that I strongly suspected our dear zombie driver was well above the top speed of the fastest broom in the world — the Firebolt, which could hit 240 km/h!
Ow! Cam crashed into me again, her face gone completely pale, like she was about to faint.
"MUGGLE ON THE CROSSWALK!" I shouted, terrified, as Jules-Albert kept barreling toward the crosswalk at lightning speed.
He didn't seem to have noticed the old lady crossing the street with her little chihuahua. I braced for the worst, but Jules-Albert swerved at the very last second and missed the Muggle woman and her dog by barely a meter. In doing so, he plowed straight into a row of trash cans, sending them flying and raining all kinds of garbage down onto the car.
"Ugh…" Cam groaned as banana peels and a bunch of other disgusting things slid down the passenger windows.
Cam took it upon herself to clean the windows of peels using her telekinesis (don't ask me for more details on that one...).
After what felt like an eternity, Jules-Albert screeched to a halt beside a massive redbrick house with tall windows. Cam and I were both launched toward the ceiling. If there hadn't been a ceiling, I'm pretty sure we would have gone flying clean out of the car. Nico turned around at the sound of a loud boom.
My head was screaming in pain and I was seeing spots.
"Why didn't you two put your seatbelts on?"
Nico gestured toward the seatbelts sitting right next to our seats.
"Could've mentioned that earlier! I'm not used to Muggle cars."
"I don't like seatbelts," Cam retorted, still scrubbing peels off her window.
I stared at Cam, dumbfounded.
"If you knew that, why didn't you tell me…"
The door beside me was ripped off with brutal force. I may have screamed. Cam froze mid-scrub...
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