Why Is There Even A Self Destruct Button???

My battle against whatever the heck pushed my self destruct button *glares at no one in particular* This is a side blog for me to express my mental STUFF and I will follow back on my main blog :3

[enki2]

[coinandcandle]

Local house witch telling you to please learn basic housekeeping skills.

It’s not your fault if no one ever taught you but YouTube is a magical place and can teach you at your own pace.

[coinandcandle]

Someone asked me what housekeeping skills I’d recommend learning.

Keep in ming that this is not me shaming you, I know you have your reasons, folks. This is just a guy who enjoys clean spaces asking that you start learning now.

Here’s what I suggest as an adult who has lived with other adults who didn’t have housekeeping skills:

First and foremost, learn about all the places in your house that need to be cleaned and understand how often they should be cleaned. the American Cleaning Institute (I guess that’s a thing) has a good article about basic cleaning info. Plus this video on cleaning tips is great!

Learn how to do your dishes. HOT water is the only way to clean your dishes.

Learn how to clean your shower head, especially if you live in a place with hard water. Same goes for your sinks.

Learn how to do your laundry correctly. Even without the whole “separating whites and colors” thing, there are things you need to learn about washing your clothes. Learn what the tags mean, too.

Also, you don’t have to use fabric softener and you shouldn’t use it on towels or any fabric meant to absorb. (Learn about laundromats) And please learn how to clean out your dryer vent, it’s a safety hazard!

Get a disinfecting cleaner for your high-touch areas, especially the gross ones like the bathroom. Just because it doesn’t look dirty, doesn’t mean it’s clean!

Learn how to sweep, mop, and vacuum effectively.

You’ll also want to make sure to change out your home’s air filters.

TL;DR, here are some cleaning videos.

How to Clean Everything in Your Bathroom

How to Clean Everything in Your Kitchen

Livingroom Cleaning Routine

How to Clean Everything in Your Bedroom

Now these resources are not the end-all-be-all, but I think if you don’t know much about cleaning your space this is a good way to start.

[thumperdaetime]

here’s some of the things that are helping me actually clean (as an adult who had messy parents, and has a hard time getting threw my nurodivergency about cleaning specifically) that may be helpful to you:

Favorite Cleaning Book: it helps you work through the emotional side of cleaning (and other care tasks)

Current Favorite Decluttering Method/Concept: it helps you know how much is too much to keep and how to get started when you’re overwhelmed. (having too much stuff makes it incredibly hard to clean/organize.)

Basic Cleaning Skills: this channel is amazing! this man has a special interest in cleaning and cleans people’s spaces who deal nurodivergence that make it hard to clean. he does this for free (or at a deficit because he pays for supplies and dumpsters and transport and such) and does it all with empathy and kindness working With the people as much as people can handle instead of just coming in to “fix” an issue. these videos are a bit different from his usual ones, (the last one’s most like his usual videos) but i find having the sped up cleaning videos with a voiceover can help fill in for body doubling when im too ashamed to bring people into my messy spaces.

[analog-machine]

I’m gonna queue this as well so you’ll be seeing it again from me in a few months without any comments on it, but this is all good things to know

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Dealing With Executive Dysfunction - A Masterpost

The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.

The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.

The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.

The “get stuff done while you wait” method.

The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.

The “break the task into smaller steps” method.

The “treat yourself like a pet” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.

The “put on a persona” method.

The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.

The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.

The “wait for a trigger” method.

The “do it for your future self” method.

The “might as well” method.

The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.

The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.

The “make it easy” method.

The “junebugging” method.

The “just show up” method.

The “accept when you need help” method.

The “make it into a game” method.

The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.

The “trick yourself” method.

The “break it into even smaller steps” method.

The “let go of should” method.

The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.

The “fork theory” method.

The “effectivity over aesthetics” method.

[kurai-hono-blog]

This is the sacred texts, this is the holy grail.

[the-august-one]

TBR. If I can remember…

[lavenderlemniscate]

feels like im always recovering. when do i get to live

[lavenderlemniscate]

"it's okay to rest for as long as you need from burnout" how long is it actually going to take though. there's stuff i wanna do.

[movementnudge]

Movement nudge! Just do something!

X

[asexual-amanita]

Fun fact! When someone tells you they have low/no empathy, it is wrong and disrespectful when you respond with hostility, and asking stupid questions like if they kick puppies or manipulate people.

No, seriously, don’t respond like this.

[sugary-sheep]

it's really painfully obvious that the most extreme thing some people can imagine a parent doing to a child is hitting them once out of uniquely monumental anger and feeling bad about it afterwards. I'm sorry but you have to understand that parents are, actively, at a larger scale than literally anyone else (chapter 3, perpetrator relationship): raping their kids for years on end (my childhood); beating them to the point they regularly fear for their lives (my friend's childhood); torturing them to death (candace newmaker); locking them up without any human contact, depriving them of every single human necessity (genie). There are countless stories like this, of exploitation and abuse in a thousand awful flavors, countless examples of all of these things, and you have to understand that these are not exceptions to the healthy, functional family; these abuses are all made possible, even probable (e.g. spanking, forced dressing/undressing, unwanted sexual comments about the body, unwanted invasion or denial of privacy) by the ownership and power parents are given over their children. You don't need exceptional wealth and power to wreak the worst kinds of violence on a child. All you need are the natural rights given for parenting one.

[sugary-sheep]

every single fucking study shows that parents are the biggest abusers of their own children in every fucking category but no one cares!!!!! we can't change anything about the world, we just need to whack-a-mole punish the mentally-predisposed-exceptional-degeneretes the bourgeois state manage to catch and prosecute, and oh of course give more fucking power to parents so they can Keep Kids Safe And Isolated Fanily Home Is Perfect Place To Put Child Safe Environment Good Size, but it's never going to fucking stop until something fundamentally changes!!!!!!!!! Children need political power, they need economic support, they need independence and they need rights. The right to say no to what adults want from you, the right to leave your parents, the right to be provided with food and a home.

[shadowgremlin]

My wife’s idea of decompressing after the busy holiday was to rearrange every piece of furniture in our home is this an ADHD thing or just a her thing

I’m not complaining the way she’s done it is much better than it was it’s just like how is this your idea of a relaxing weekend

[kaity--did]

Listen I don't get to decide when the drunk elf that is my executive actually does the functioning but when he does we have a SMALL WINDOW OF TIME before he finds the schnapps again and we're done

[honeysbunchesofoats]

[kaity--did]

yes this exactly

[luminouspica]

So to me, there are spoons (general energy cost) and carnival tickets (specific energy cost).

Spoons can be used pretty much anywhere.

Carnival tickets are only good for the carnival, and it’s only in town for a limited amount of time.

So like, if I get “kitchen cleaning” carnival tickets, I can’t use that to clean my bedroom, that’s not where the carnival is.

[mihai-florescu]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Except, critically, at bedtime.

[findersfeeders]

Ravings and urges get miscoded over time. Let’s say you’re thirsty, and you live in a strawberry field. Strawberries contain some water and a bunch of sugar so, over time, you may start to crave strawberries when you are thirsty because you get a reward and some relief in shorter time from the need starting than the trek to the stream. This can happen for every need: sleep, food, whatever.

Trevor Noah has a great tip, that when he craves ice cream at night he breaks it down into parts: I want something cold, I want something sweet. He drinks a glass of cold water then waits to see if he still has the ice cream craving. Usually he doesn’t.

So listening to your body isn’t “follow every urge” but “decompose the urge to discover the underlying need.”

If you always feel like getting cozy in bed you may be: cold, dehydrated, and/or malnourished (maybe a need for high calories that are bioaccessible…not processed).

If you do not feel tired at bedtime you may: need to eat dinner earlier because your body is still digesting, need to exercise or go outside more during the day, get the fuck off your screen for an hour so your brain can enter sleep mode.

Hope this helps someone.

P.S. notice i said nothing about neurodivergence. Not that it’s not a likelihood but the over-pathologization of behaviors prevents us from taking simple actions to improve our wellbeing. Also, these tips are pretty accessible and applicable to most brain variations.

[brightlotusmoon]

[thisuserwillselfdestru-n0]

I’m having thoughts about ableism bc of that post i just rb but didn’t want to derail it

I feel like a big part of the shame I’ve felt is from people in my life who think they aren’t ableist but definitely are. It almost makes it worse bc they’re people who have earned my trust in some ways but even they don’t fully accept me.

I’ve had so many people who think they know my issues tell me “well at least you’re not as bad as those people” (hypothetical disabled people with more severe symptoms than me) and

1. What would you say to *those* people?? Would you shame them??? What the heck??

And 2. They don’t know that sometimes my symptoms *are* that bad. I actively hide that from you bc you’re obviously not understanding or compassionate towards disability. I DO stink from lack of hygiene. I DO pee my pants. I DO have meltdowns from minor inconveniences. I AM that slow and take THAT long at certain tasks.

I am slowly curating my social circle. I’m eliminating the ableists and finding people I feared didn’t exist, who understand and love me and actively go out of their way to accommodate my disability and don’t judge me at all. It’s amazing.

It sucks that so much of society is so shameful of us but I’m so grateful for the people I’ve found who accept me. It’s making me more confident to speak out about my issues and not worry about making ableists uncomfortable bc I know I have people who love me unconditionally

[dreary-zomb]

I hate those 'TMI' type of symptoms that I feel so humiliated by I don't even feel comfortable admitting them to medical professionals. I feel so much shame constantly. Stuff like incontinence.

It makes me scared to go in public sometimes and is genuinely so viscerally upsetting and humiliating for me on days when I deal with it.

Like my best friend is the most supportive person I know, and only recently did I admit that those symptoms were something I struggled with and needed to vent about.

I wish people were nicer as a society and more sensitive about these things and talked about them more in relation to disability. I've felt extremely alone in this sort of struggle for so long now, especially being young.

[thisuserwillselfdestru-n0]

I wet myself sometimes bc of interoception issues. It took me 9 psychotherapist to finally admit this to my current one. Thank god she was compassionate about it. It’s crazy I didn’t feel comfortable talking about it with literal therapists for so many years.

[springinthesky]

resist the urge to self-isolate, girl. people want you around. people don't think you're faulty. you're allowed to be wrong and make mistakes and missteps and people won't reject you for it. don't self-isolate. nobody in your life wants you to self-isolate. don't do it.

[free-my-mindd]

[nonbinary-wyvern]

some of y'all abled "allies" take back your support as soon as the person is "gross".

you still need to support disabled people if they use a catheter, diapers, IVs, food bags, and waste bags.

you still need to support disabled people if they cant shower, brush their teeth, put on deodorant, or shave regularly.

you still need to support disabled people if they bedrot, eat messily, and breathe noisily.

i am so tired of y'all treating disabled folks like trash.

This Post Is About Physical Disability. Do Not Derail.

[caspercryptid]

The really unfortunate thing about mental health progress is that sometimes you realize you've made it in the form of "wow, I haven't felt this bad in a fucking while"

[caspercryptid]

On the one hand it's a bit of a pick me up in a dark place to know that this will pass because it has passed before on the other hand sometimes it isn't entirely a pleasant thought to go "wow, I used to feel like this all the time. That was pretty fucking bad. It's pretty bad right now too also."

[caspercryptid]

Someday your current baseline will be the sort of thing you consider A Really Bad Day. It does get better.

[thoughtportal]

cleaning along desire paths

[lady-griffin]

Fantastic advice!! And something I’ve realized I’ve been doing for myself these last 6-7 years, even though I never had a name for it.

Seriously, this is such a great way to go about organizing your home.

I really can’t express how much easier your life can be when you accept that there’s no objectively right way to do this kind of stuff, especially when you let go of the idea that it’s a moral failure when you can’t do something the “correct way” nor is it evidence of you being lazy.

Working with (leaning into) your natural limits and instincts can do wonders for you in your day-to-day life.

[unfathomablylargekiwi]

I used to think I was manipulative bc I would sometimes make certain facial expressions/use body language that would make people see how I was feeling. Then I realised that that is called expressing yourself and I might be autistic