People who are impossible to please fucking hate it when you give up trying. If nothing's ever good enough anyway, literally why bother. If you're going to bitch just as hard about how uncomfortable your bed is no matter how nice it is, you're sleeping on the floor. If you're going to bitch just as hard about how the nice outing specifically tailored to accommodate you doesn't please you enough no matter how much anyone tries to appease you, you're not coming. If no homecooked gourmet meal made exactly how you said you like it is sufficiently to your liking, you're getting the cheapest shitty frozen TV dinner. Maybe seething at it harder will make it thaw faster.
maybe people who are impossible to please are in fact impossible to please because they don't know how to express gratitude, they actually really appreciate it, just no one ever taught them to say thank you
System Recommendations Based On What I Like About D&D
Sometimes you want to play a different system because you are looking for a brand-new experience. Sometimes you want to play a different system because you have an ethical objection to the one you're playing now. If you're the latter, you probably don't want to hear about how awesome games like Orbital Blues and Stillfleet are. They are awesome, but right now you're looking for a system to move to that can capture the magic you feel playing Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition. This post is for you.
Here are the parts of D&D 5e that I really enjoy:
Involved Character Customization ("Build Creating")
Tactical Combat
Ability to use Magic
Appealing World
High Fantasy With Heroic, Upbeat, or even Comedic Undertones
Getting to be Gay with my Friends
Each of my recommendations has at least two of these factors and is intended to be played in a group setting over multiple sessions. So let's jump in!
Blue Rose uses the AGE System, which might be some of my favorite tactical combat design. In particular, I love stunts. When you roll good in combat or other scenarios, you get stunt points, which you can spend to create additional effects, like setting up a teammate or taunting your opponent. There's a lot of options to choose from when building a character, and you can make some of that stuff synergize real well. This is all true of most AGE system games, so I'd also recommend checking out Fantasy AGE and the Dragon Age TTRPG.
Blue Rose in particular is all about Romantic Fantasy: humans going on fantastical adventures with magic talking animals, protecting the land and those who would harm it, that kind of stuff. The setting is also explicitly queer, and "relationships" are an emphasized part of character creation and development. Found Family all over the place.
If you liked The Wild Beyond the Witchlight, or the Uncaged anthologies, you might enjoy Blue Rose!
7th Sea
Features: Tactical "Combat," Magic, Appealing World
7th Sea is all about swashbuckling adventure, court intrigue, and intense action. There technically isn't a "combat" system in 7th Sea, so much as there is an "action" system. Swordfights, escaping a burning ship, high-stakes chases: all that stuff uses the same system, where you have to think about how to set up good opportunities. The combat is meant to be fast-paced. GMs are encouraged to not give players too much time to think.
The world is full of secret societies and shadow organizations, as one would expect for a game about gentlefolk and intrigue. One of my favorite parts in particular is the "Story," which is what 7th Sea calls a PC's backstory. There are guidelines for creating one, with expectations and progression hard-coded in, from the First Step to the ultimate resolution.
There's a lot here to do with Ship Combat. If you liked Ghosts of Saltmarsh or 3rd Party products like the Seas of Vodari, give this a look.
Thirsty Sword Lesbians
Features: Upbeat Fantasy, GAY
Let me start by saying that you can play this game in any genre. In the Advanced Lovers and Lesbians expansion there's even rules for playing a session as a pack of hyenas. But if your table is the type to really lean hard into developing your characters' relationships, between PC and NPC and PC and PC, then this is the game for you. Mechanics allow you to place strings on other characters, giving you "pull" with them to influence a later decision. Status conditions are extreme emotions, and the only way to deal with them is to lean on another teammate for emotional support or indulge them in a cathartic and destructive manner (you can relieve being angry by breaking something that has value to another person, for example).
If you are gay and you play D&D you are legally obligated to try TSL. I DO make the rules.
Court of Blades
Features: Magic, Appealing World
When folks say they like Eberron and want to do crimes, I tell them to play Blades in the Dark. When folks say they like fey magic and high society and doing dirty work for wealthy patrons, I tell them to play its sexy cousin Court of Blades. CoB is a Forged in the Dark game, meaning it uses the Blades system. Instead of a heist crew, you're a coterie, and you perform errands for your patron that run the gamut from assaulting a rival to publicly embarrassing them.
One of my favorite parts about FitD systems is how it handles the aftermath of your adventures. Different groups across the city might react differently to the news, and that propels future adventures. The City of Ilrien is full of hooks and briars for your characters and GMs to get stuck on.
Court of Blades might seem like the outlier on this list, but my favorite official 5e adventure was Waterdeep: Dragon Heist. If you liked that one too, and you're looking to lean into that WAY more, you should give CoB a look.
It was too late, when the humans came. They were a young species, still exploring outwards, vital and thriving.Â
We… were not.Â
War had ravaged us, and sickness, and war once again, until our population dwindled beyond the point of recovery. We struggled against that, of course… we used genetic manipulation, and cloning, and even more desperate measures. None succeeded. When the humans came, we were sinking into apathy, only a few tens of us left. We had begun to discuss whether we should commit a mass suicide, or simply wait to fade away.Â
And then the young species came, in their clumsy ships, and they asked us why we were so few.Â
“We are becoming extinct,” we told them. “We have passed the point of recovery.”Â
It is custom to avoid the races that are dying – once a species reaches the point of inevitable extinction, even war is suspended, and the fiercest enemy pulls back. The custom was born of plagues and poisons that could be carried forth from a dying world to afflict a healthy one, but it has the implacable weight of tradition now. After we are gone, after they have waited for the prescribed period of quarantine, there will be a fight for our world. Habitable worlds are few, and this is a good one, with plenty of free groundwater and thriving vegetation. It is a bitter thing to be grateful for the custom that allows us to die in peace, but we are grateful.
But the humans don’t know that custom, and they do not leave. They seem distraught, when we tell them we are dying, and try to offer their aid - but their technology is behind ours, and it is too late. When they realize that they can’t save us, though, they do something that bewilders us.Â
You’re in his living room distracting him with champagne and a low cut dress, I’m in his high tech vault stealing his diamonds. We are not the same.
But we are on the same team, and the payout is gonna be great for us
