Thought Notes

Just a place for my thoughts to go instead of running around in my mind.Feel free to message me any time. I follow back.

[thought-notes]

Success!

Just an update, the guy that I had been swooning over is now my boyfriend, we’ve been best friends since 2011, and finally decided to both gather all of our courage and be in a relationship. 

We only had our first date 19 days ago, where we promptly planned 4 more right after, needless to say we’re pretty into each other.

Even thinking of kids and marriage, and obviously living together. 

I was beginning to think that I’d be alone forever, since I have never liked someone as much as I have liked him. 

This is my first serious relationship and it’s long distance, fun. But I know we’ll be able to figure things out. We’ve been best friends for a long time, so know a lot of each other’s history, and we have a lot of history, but there is no doubt that we will always care for each other. 

It’s not like neither of us can professionally, or financially afford visiting each other, it’s more of the waiting until we can finally live together.  

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I’d like to.

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It's still night for you.

Him: morning! Though it's still night for me

Me: I mean technically the moon is still up for me too. The sun won't be out for another 30 mins ish.

Him: you're up earlyyyyy, you're crazy, you know that?

Me: Ya I'm crazy about you 😛

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Me too.

Him: I missed talking to you the last bit!

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でも最近はもう彼とは、結ばれないんだって半分諦めてたの。ほら私、「信じて待ち続けます」ってキャラじゃないじゃん。

白衣の戦士、５話

But lately, I had half given up, I’m never going to be with him. Like, it’s not in my character to say “I’ll wait for you”.　Hakui no Senshi, Episode 5

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It isn’t budging

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...so what are we?

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Teleportation. There’s a lot I’d like to take back, but it’s not worth losing the time that I’ve known you. Even if it meant I could make different decisions to be with you, I wouldn’t want it to change who you are, who the person I like is.

I’d rather sit beside you as a friend than as a significant other as result of my own doing. But I still wish that you’d like me as much as I like you.

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Push and pull.

Sometimes it feels like you’re deliberately being cruel to me, but maybe you’re oblivious of how your words affect me. 

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watch - Billie Eilish Written by: Finneas O’Connell

“My heart skips eight beats at once If we were meant to be, we would have been by now”

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If you want it, go get it. 

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Poor April. Just like the character in the story. Who's always been the friend then she realized she doesn't just want to be the friend she wants to be the girlfriend. Except it's too late.

Maya Hayes (Abigail Breslin), Definitely, Maybe.

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I’d love to say physical distance doesn’t matter, but it does. It makes things so much harder.

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I think you’re more than worth it.  But me to you? Apparently not.

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I’m envious of all that have the privilege to have you in their field of vision today, tomorrow, everyday that I don’t.

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I’m so excited to see you again, whenever that is. Is it the end of the year? or maybe sooner? If you come earlier does that mean I won’t see you again until the following year, or that you’ll be able to come back twice? 

I just want to see you in person.