My life's not aesthetic

[cartoonofmilk]

yknow, as counterintuitive as it may seem, helping a suicidal friend isn't a matter of stopping them from dying. it's about helping to make their world one that's worth living in.

it's important to make that distinction, lest we make people's quality of life worse in the name of "protecting" them.

[thoughtsfrompennylane]

I would like to add some nuance to this: if someone is in accute danger, stop them from dying. All other moments, help them make their world worth living in.

I say this because sometimes people know their loved ones can be in danger but feel guilty or scared about calling in for help. You can't help make their lives worth living if they're not here anymore. I really do mean in accute situations though: if you know they're suicidal and go missing, if you know that they're in danger, if they say something that makes you believe they are in danger and then no one can reach them. Take all the steps available to you and worry about them being upset with you later. At least they'll be around to be mad at you.

Outside of that, please give people the chance to tell you how they want you to help them. Literally ask them. Show up from a place of love and not of fear

[windvexer]

IDK who needs to hear this but if there's something in your life that makes you feel better, but you never stick to it,

it's still actually perfectly fine to do it

and you shouldn't stop yourself from starting just because it won't be a permanent change.

Like if starting a new daily planner gives you an amazing afternoon of planning and four days where you feel in charge of your life,

why not do it?

It doesn't matter that it won't be a permanent change - 4 good days is still worth it.

If you ever catch yourself thinking, "I wish I could pray/stretch/prep/plan/do the thing, but I always get started on that and it never lasts more than a couple of days,"

what this really means is, "hey, I can feel better for a couple of days."

if this post is making you think of things in your own life that you wish you could stick to because of how good they make you feel,

just be aware:

you're not thinking of a list of ways you've failed to commit

you're thinking of a list of things that make you happy, and you should give yourself permission to start doing them as often as you want to

[thoughtsfrompennylane]

You know what, I only just learned that this was Gooseworx first project like this and that does change the way I look at it. I had a lot of fun watching it, the characters were really interesting and I enjoyed the animation and humor. I think I was too critical because I actually did think the show was that good and so judged it more harshley

[thoughtsfrompennylane]

I really can't get behind a character with that much power and that much cruelty immediately being forgiven because they said sorry and did one nice thing

[cherri-de-carcus1987]

[achillesinhighheels]

[so-many-ocs]

immediately after an interaction: i have GOT to get more normal oh god i need to get more normal immediately i have to get more normal or they're going to hunt me down they're going to hunt me down and flay me for sport

during an interaction: and why not put a little spin on it? why not add some conversational zest?

[bananonbinary]

one of the hardest things to learn as a depressed former Gifted Kid™ is that half-assed is better than nothing. take the 50%, 40%, even 20% job. scrubbing your face is better than not taking a shower at all. picking up your clothes is better than never cleaning. nibbling on some bread is better than starving.

DO THINGS HALFWAY. NOW YOU’RE 100% BETTER OFF THAN YOU WERE BEFORE.

[redheadhatchet]

One of my college professors used to say “anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.”  I didn’t understand that for years because I didn’t do anything poorly, I couldn’t do anything poorly, I had to Do Everything Perfectly.

But brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not brushing them at all when that 2 minutes seems exhausting.  Doing ten minutes of yoga is better than 10 minutes of sitting when 30 minutes of cardio sounds impossible.  Changing my clothes is good when a whole shower is impossible.  Standing on the porch for a few minutes is worth it after being in the house for three straight days because I don’t have the energy to go anywhere.

Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly… because doing it poorly is better than not doing it.

[resetium]

someone please hit me over the head with this post every day for like the next week thanks. a mention, a reblog with text, a message, something.

[thoughtsfrompennylane]

Everything worth doing is worth doing poorly is one of those sayings that has been saving my ass for the last couple of years. It has changed me for the better

[tpwrtrmnky]

Imagine if there was an account called "News Flashing" and it posted breaking news as seizure-inducing flashing black and white images, with a large group of supporters insisting that it's completely justified because it gets the Important News the attention they deserve, and actually if you block News Flashing you're doing a bad thing.

Now, given how self-evidently ridiculous that is, and how it's clear that you could just get your news from elsewhere, you can go ahead and mute or block that account that keeps posting important stuff presented in a way that hits your emotional weak points. Curate your feed to be safe for you.

[tpwrtrmnky]

Passively witnessing horrible things that are happening, which you already know are happening, because someone made you feel an obligation to keep looking long after you've gained all the education you possibly could, is irresponsible and a bad use of your time.

You, as a person on the internet watching things happen, have limited resources to materially affect these things. You can donate to some fundraisers, you can share some educational resources, you can consider involving yourself in organizations that work with this stuff more meaningfully. That's about it.

If you do obtain special skills that can help with a horrible situation, what you will get hammered in there is that when you leave work, you leave work. You take breaks, because if you don't stop dealing with whatever shit you're dealing with to reset and recharge, you will get worse at your job until your mistakes start becoming a liability.

That's for people whose actions actually do something meaningful. If they are obligated to stop and rest, then you, who are just burning yourself out by looking at things without doing anything, absolutely have to.

Use the fucking mute function. Use the fucking filters.

[tpwrtrmnky]

"Oh but think about the people who are living through the horrors, they can't take breaks, think about how privileged it is to be able to!"

Yeah that's part of the horrors. Doesn't make doomscrolling productive. Trained firefighters go to bed and sleep while there are ongoing fires somewhere in the world, because while they might be able to get up and respond to a nearby emergency when needed, it's not feasible to have them stretch themselves thin to cover everything they could possibly help with. Reality will not realign to what is moral, your actions need to align with what's effective.

[sapphling]

the more time you spend in active recovery from any given self destructive behavior or addiction the more you understand the common conception of the "relapse" as defined by a broken "streak" to be, like, so bad for one's own well-being that it would be funny if it weren't resulting in just a lot of misery and death

[the-peoples-puppy]

I told my girlfriend to think of quitting vaping as training her endurance by seeing how long she can run before she gets tired, then doing it again and hoping to go further next time. She said it really helped her.

[thoughtsfrompennylane]

This is it!

[antisocialxconstruct]

man having your life even a little bit together will really make you realize how chronically sleep-deprived and poorly fed and under-enriched everyone is and then when they turn to you to implicitly agree that that's just the natural state of existing you feel like the asshole for being like "actually I think you might benefit from eating breakfast regularly and picking up a new hobby"

[wallpaper-walmart]

Hi, I love your wallpapers! Any chance you want to do a bisexual and demiromantic one? Idk how well the colors would work together 😅

I love a good challenge :>

(I did recycle some old bi wallpapers shhhh)

please like/rb if saving

[thoughtsfrompennylane]

Be still my little heart. These are so cute!

[vedajuno]

the “morbin time” tweet gets its dues for tricking Sony into making a movie bomb twice but we don’t talk about how there is a billion dollar cost franchise of films in theaters right now that only exists because James Cameron saw this tweet and got really really mad

[thoughtsfrompennylane]

I recently found out I’m an Avatar fan. I don’t particularly like these movies. But I saw the first one a LOT (because my baby bro was obsessed when he was two). I know it by heart. And I ended up going to the sequels, even though I hardly go to theatres anymore. And I’ve watched Jenny Nicholson’s and Sideways’ video essays. I know too much. I’m a fan against my will. I have accepted it.

[rowlfthedog]

[starryeyeddreamer21]

Someone's probably done this already but I'm still right

[thoughtsfrompennylane]

Or if Sara just brought down Sir Pentious for 5 seconds like he and Charlie asked

[tailofalastor]

NO. I NEED ANSWERS.

Niffty has powers?

Look at this group of people.

Princess of Hell, a seraphim angel, and multiple overlords...

So she IS an overlord??

This wasn't retconned?

She's an Overlord.

Niffty

is an Overlord

[thoughtsfrompennylane]

I understand that Husk the former overlord could go toe to toe with an overlord. But wtf is up with Niffty?? She beat the shit out of Velvette, not to mention that she also was the one to kill Adam. Am I making it more than it is or did Alastor collect powerful sinners?